SILENCE! #245
January 31st, 2018
NICHOLAS KNICKERLESS IN A NICKEL NECKLACE ON A RHINOSOROUSOUS
The year is 2099.
Blurbs have been outlawed by the totalitarian US government.
Luckily we’re not in America so it’s fine.
Welcome to another sodding episode of SILENCE! your heroes Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are here with their unique brand of jealousy inducing chat from their aspirational lives.
After we celebrate The Beast Must Die’s Birthday they discuss anxiety dreams which look like they might be coming true. There’s some chat about the now dead Mark E Smith which segues into a moving song about music called Music Song. SILENCE! Because The Film’s Started this week actually has something to do with the nominal point of the podcast, comics as Beasty done watched The Image Revolution.
The Reviewniverse revels in Doom Patrol, Days Of Hate, BatMan: Creature Of The Night, more Atlas Comics, LIFE Brigade, Frank Miller’s Tales To Offend, Tainted, Dissonance, Valerian and the City Of A Thousand Planets, Vinegar Teeth, Legion, The Further Adventures of Nick Wilson, Assassinistas and Tales Designed to Thrizzle
That’ll do, surely.
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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #243
January 4th, 2018
BY THE TIME WE GOT TO OSLO, THE SNOW WAS GONE
My New Year’s Resolution:
1) Write better blurbs
Ok…let’s… Ok. No wait. Here we go…no. Wait. I GOT IT! It’s… No hold on. Ummm.
Ok. Scrap that. Can I make a different resolution.
My New Year’s Resolution (Take 2):
1) Quit this blurb-writing gig and get a real job.
<ITEM> It’s a new day, it’s a new year, it’s a new life…and I’m feeling POD! It’s the first SILENCE! Of 2018 and it arrives wearing a top hat, spats and little else! Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die bring you a timely festive edition to warm your coals. HO HO HO (sshhhhh).
<ITEM> Seasonal sponsorship, Christmas admin and standard festive cheer? All here. Presents are compared and there’s some chat about Judge Dredd Complete Case Files v29, 2000AD Sci-Fi specials, Misty, The Gosh Comics 50% Sale, Ian Miller’s Swamp Thing and the wonderful Paperbacks From Hell..
<ITEM> Head to the Reviewniverse with your giddy hosts as they talk the light fantastic about The Leopard from Lime St, Klaus: The Crisis In Xmasville, Doom Patrol, Shade The Changing Girl, Parasdiso, Mister Miracle, X-Men: Grand Design, Jack Kirby’s 2001, Assassinistas and probably something I’ve forgotten.
<ITEM> Yule be sorry! HA
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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #242
December 13th, 2017

Whaddya looking at? What?? You write a blurb, I’m busy. I’ll blurb you mate. Go blurb yourself. What? What did you say? HOW DARE YOU! You can take your blurb and shove it right up your {REDACTED}
“Okay bud, I think it’s probably time you clocked off. You been working this blurb shift for 36 hours solid. You put your time in. You’ve done us proud. But it’s time to go home bud.”
No dammnit! No! I’ll get this blurb done if it’s the…just..just stop all a’them starin’ at me wouldya?? Just…make them stop…
“Okay bud. Jacket on. It’s time to go.”
<ITEM> What schedule? It’s SILENCE! pals and your week just got a whole heap better. So suck it in bucko.
<ITEM> Dadmin, Admin, and the briefest of Sponsorships. It’s just how we do. That’s Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bee tee doubleyas.
<ITEM> Tat-talk with some chat about Action comic – the banned UK thug kids comic, not that boring American institution
<ITEM> SILENCE!…Because The Film Has Started with The Beast recommending Colossal.
<ITEM> Finally…The Reviewniverse. Right here, right now. Or…then, When it was recorded. But now for you. But not now in the blurb because that’s now for me, but then for when you’re reading this. So…when? Anyway there’s very important chat about Doomsday Clock, Doom Patrol, Julia Scheele’s comics, The Beautiful Death, Dr Radar, Dork, The Grim Ghost, Lomax NYPD, Tiger Man and the rest of the Atlas fools. And more probably. WHO CAN REMEMBER?
<ITEM> Get outta here! No more items for you, Christmas shopping to do.
@silencepod
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@kellykanayama
si************@gm***.com
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #225
May 17th, 2017
THE MASTER HEALED MY WOUNDS… AND SHOWERED ME WITH FOOD
DID YOU KNOW there’s a word in German for the weight gained whilst overeating because of emotional distress? Amazing!
DID YOU KNOW there’s a German word for the witty come backs you think of later? Yeah, it’s true!
DID YOU KNOW the Germans have a word to describe the a longing for far off places? Our German cousins, eh?
DID YOU KNOW that in Germany they have a word for the conversations English speakers have about how Germans have words that describe really specific things?
DID YOU KNOW sharks can smell London from space?
<ITEM> It’s SILENCE! #225 with Gary Lactus, The Beast Must Die and special robot guest Spare 5.
<ITEM> We pay tribute to artist Edmund Bagwell.
<ITEM> Lots of film and TV chat including Alien Colon Covenant, the Blair Witch remake, The Void, Iron Fist, and there’s some Highlander and Judge Dredd fantasy elevator pitches.
<ITEM> we are hanging out on the new SILENCE! Facebook group
<ITEM> We enter the Reviewniverse where we find Bug The Adventures of Forager, Doom Patrol, Rocket, World War Tank Girl, Shade The Changing Girl, and John Smith’s Tyranny Rex text piece from the 2000AD Annual 1991
@silencepod
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@bobsymindless
@theQuietusFilm
@kellykanayama
si************@gm***.com
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
Edmund Bagwell
SILENCE! on Facebook
SILENCE! LIVE!
Reviewniverse
Bug The Adventures of Forager, Doom Patrol, Rocket, World War Tank Girl, Shade The Changing Girl, John Smith’s Tyranny Rex piece from 2000AD annual 1991
SILENCE! #219
March 28th, 2017
WHAT WHAT, MY POP ROCKS!
Gary Lactus hosts an epic mash up lash up* starring hard boiled gritty pre-Giuliani New York cop just two weeks away from retirement, Johnathan Dick and a hypnotic robotic Spare 5 who returns like the monster from an ever diminishing horror franchise! Better than that though is the explosive entrance of crime fighting duo The Beast Must Die and Mini-Beast, ready to deliver a 200+ megaton purple nurple right on the left boob of the London Underworld! Wanna know what we talk about? There was loads and load and plenty of it not comics. Here’s a list of words!
2000AD Titan Editions, akira, Animal Man, Beneath, Blair Witch, Cry of the Werewolf, Curse Words, Dennis Potter, Doom Patrol, Found Footage, Found Footage Films, Gabriel Hardman, Gi Joe Vs Transformers: The Movie, Hitman, horror, Invisible Republic, Johnathan Dick, Judge Dredd Deviation, Junji Ito, Justice League Trailer, Kong: Skull Island, Larry Cohen, Larry Fessenden, Lone Wolf and Cub, Manga no Manben, Mini Beast, Naoki Urasawa, Nemesis, Not Quite Hollywood, Roger Corman, Romaction, Romance of a different name, Sandman: Overture, Scratched Live!, Silence! Because the Film’s Started, Slaine Choose Your Own Adventure Comics, Stray Bullets, TBMD, The Beast Must Die, The Belfry, The Origin of Spare 5, walking dead
FEAR THE NIGHT!
*made you look!
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@kellykanayama
si************@gm***.com
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #211
January 31st, 2017
ITEM HEY BOY MAN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’VE DRAGGED YOUR WAY HERE FROM UNDER SIX FEET OF SHIT, GET THAT STENCH OUT OF MY ATRIUM AND WIPE YOUR NINNY FEET ON THE BEAR’S HEAD
ITEM WHAT’S THAT MILKY BOY KID? TIRED OF MUMMY’S GREENS? WANT TO GO WHERE THE REAL CHAT IS FOUND? THE HARD CHAT? THE GREASY CHAT? THE COMICS CHAT?SILENCE, YOU FUCKING MUDDLE, SILEEEENCE!!!
ITEM OH THAT’S NEW, OH THAT’S SPECIAL, SILENCE! SIX BILLION, YOU WANT A CUNTING MEDAL OR THE CHEST TO PIN IT ON, CHICKEN LEGS?
ITEM WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? SOME GRIPPER PISSING HIS INITIALS INTO THE MANTLE OF THE BEAST? WANTS TO BE THE MAIN COCK? WANTS TO PARADE HIS BROILING BULK? LORD NUNEATON FUCKING SAVAGE IS IT? HARDLY A MAIN ATTRACTION, HARDLY A HARD ANYTHING, LOOK AT HIM CHATTING UP GARY LACTUS, MAKES YOU FUCKING SICK
ITEM ADMIN! SPONSORSHIP! SILENCE! THE FILM’S STARTED WITH LACTUS BANGING FIT TO BURST ON THAT FUCKING FULL TIME CARD TRICKSTER JODOROWSKY AND HIS ART SHOW RODEO BAKE OFF. CUNT.
ITEM BALLY HAI WHAT A SURPRISE, AS THIS FUCKING COBBLING TEAM FROM THE DEEP DEEP DEPTHS OF ONY-FUCKNUTS-CARE-A-SHIT DELVE INTO FUNNY BOOKS LIKE FROGMEN THROUGH BOILING PISS: KAMANDI CHALLENGE! SAGA! DOOM PATROL! HOOKJAW! THE RAY! VIXEN! KILLER FUCKING FROST! DR STRANGE AND HIS BROKEN HANDYCLAMPS! MOOK KNIGHT! ISLAND! GIVE ME FUCKING STRENGTH
ITEM YOU LOOKING BACK AND REALISING YOU BEGGED FOR EVERY COB OF THIS SHIT
@silencepod
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si************@gm***.com
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #206
December 20th, 2016

PA RUM PUM PUM PUM
It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas. The goose is on the ground, the snow is getting fat. Welcome to the none-more-festive edition of SILENCE! This is it folks, the culmination of 100’s of hours of work – choreographers, lighting, a full orchestra, special guest stars, yule logs burning on open fires, christmas fucking jumpers…absolutely NONE of this will appear on this SILENCE! Christmas Special!! What you will get is Gary Lactus, too ill to podcast and lying on the sofa, beloved Bobsy representing in full effect and The Beast Must Die holding it all together like some hirsute Michael Parkinson. We can’t promise you eggnog, but we can promise a hot pocket full of comics chat to warm your jingle bells in this most wonderful time of the year. Strap in, strap on and prepare for docking!
<ITEM> Blimey, look what happens when the sturdy hand of the Space God is off the tiller…shambolic admin on an unimaginable level, barely remembered Sponsorship, plus our lewdest opening banter ever. Blame that pottymouthed club comedian Bobsy!
<ITEM> In a spurious nod towards our festive theme, there’s some chat about festive movies including Krampus and Scrooged. Plus the mysteries of Karen Black, Karen Allen and Margot Kidder
<ITEM> SILENCE! (Because The Film Has Started) features chat of little known B-movies Star Wars: Rogue One
<ITEM> Lo! The Reviewniverse. There’s some hefty chat about the penultimate episode of Alan Moore’s late-stage masterpiece Providence. Then the Young Animal books Doom Patrol and Shade The Changing Girl are discussed at some length. Bobsy rounds up his Thought Bubble 2016 top picks and there’s a bit of chat about Rick Veitch. Christmassy as all heck right!?
<ITEM> Lazarus-like, Gary returns with a festive kiss off, and some Christmas cheer is finally raised.
Now go forth and unwrap!
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
si************@gm***.com
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #199.99
October 12th, 2016
BUT FOIST TRUE BELIEVERS, YA GODDA GET TREW SOILENCE #199.99 AND LEMME TELL YA IT’S A DOOZY! PIN BACK YA EAR HOLES AN’ EYE FLAPS, COS THIS IS GONNA HURT!!!!
…
Ugh…*cough*…*hack*…out…get out vile spirit. Begone from this vessel with your crass huckesterism and vile self-promotion. That’s simply not how we *do* things on SILENCE! Excuse me while I use this mouthwash…
<ITEM> After the hiatus…the OTHER hiatus! Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are back from their Holiday Cruise and they want to talk to you! That’s right, we’re back and ready for a refreshing comics enema!
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
si************@gm***.com
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
THE ENGLISH MOTORWAY SYSTEM IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRANGE
SILENCE! #184
April 20th, 2016

“What’s the podcast full of chat
That’s made for you and me?
It’s S-I-L-E-N-C-E!
Hey there, Hi there, ho there you’re as welcome as can be
It’s S-I-L-E-N-C-E!
SIII-I-LENCE! SIII-I-LENCE!
Forever hold our graphic novels high, high, high!
SII-I-ILEN…”
*ca-click* BLAM!
Ahhhh. Silence.
<ITEM> Why what’s this? Not just one, but TWO special guests on this special guesticode? For sheezy! None other than old skool classic Mindless One, Botswana Beast, but returning sparring partner Maid of Nails are here, joining ol’ Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die for this latest installment of 4-colour digressions and mega-ramblings.
<ITEM> Sponsorship, maybe some cat stuff and of course the usual digressions.
<ITEM> A Reviewniverse 4-way?? Yikes, this one’s gonna hurt! Tackled are Grant Morrison’s Wonder Woman: Earth One and it’s a nice deep dive that also takes on Sensation Comics, Beto Hernandez, BDSM, Feminism, Nameless, Doom Patrol, and more. Then we get into The Discipline, Silver Surfer, Gerber and Golden’s Mister Miracle, Judge Dredd, John Wagner, Pat Mills, 2000AD, Garth Ennis’ Enemy Ace, Punisher War Zone, Marvel Unlimited and more more more
So pull up your trousers, get out of the flower beds and settle down for the warming aural-soothe of this latest, greatest edition of SILENCE!
click to download SILENCE!#184
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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.