Mindless Ones

Because everything is entropy right? It’s always all downhill. Part of our ten-year challenge has been to find old posts that we like and can bear to  bring up and choke on again.

This is where I realised that the first post I wrote for the site was my best and favourite, and also offers an excellent opportunity to rededicate myself to John [E.] Smith –  comics greatest lostest poet, who even pops up in the comments on the original because blogs make dreams come true.

Apologies for my bad writing and any broken 10 y.o. pic links or whatever. “Enjoy.”

Dee do dough don’t dee dough? or why Hellblazer #51 is the title’s best issue

If I have to make up a bloggy reason why this post was written, it’s recent noise from the Factual Opinion that Andy Diggle’s current run on Hellblazer is the best it’s been in years. I picked one up, saw with relish that the colour palette they’re using still contains every conceivable shade of mud, put it down. To say it’s currently firing on all cylinders isn’t saying much, as Vertigo’s old horror warhorse is a perpetual disappointment, which it shouldn’t, because the basic ingredients are so solid. It’s about the street-sorcerer John Constantine, magic, and a bit of London grime, all mixed together with a quip and a crafty fag. Despite these perfect alchemical elements something inevitably goes wrong with the final potion, which rarely drips the creep and splatter I hunger for from anything so keen to proclaim itself a horror comic.

More after the jump

 

Forty years I been a blurb-writer y’know? My father before me was a blurb-writer and his father before him. And he started the blurb-writers union and all – every blurb-writer worth their salt still talks in hush tones about the blurb riots of 1933. Wouldn’t have the rights we do today without my grandfather and his mates. It’s in the blood is what I’m saying. If you cut me, do I not blurb. Heh.

But it’s a dying art. It’s dead to be honest. Got these new machines that can write a blurb in half the time, and no chance of a spelling mistake or a missed deadline. Oh sure they don’t read the same, but when the bosses see those bottom line figures, you think they care? And the readers hardly notice, that’s the real kicker. In too much of a hurry to get to the content. Click the link, access the content. Content, content content. Well what about conTEXT is what I say? What’s the point. You probably aren’t even reading this anyway. Oh well. Sorry grandpa…I’m trying. I’m trying to do you proud. Once more unto the breach…

<ITEM> HA! A new SILENCE! and it’s only been a week? What is this – a regular schedule or something??

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die hold hands and do their merry aural dance for your ears only. Bit of Dadmin, some righteous Sponsorship, Gary’s Birthday and the Beast recounts his adventures in going VIRAL!

<ITEM> Reviewniverse shenanigans ensue with talky-talks of Fence, the DC House of Horror special, Bob Godfrey, 2000AD, Indigo Prime, Revere, John Smith, Captain America, Generation Gone, Not Brand Echhh and more, dammnit so much more. Also features some live John Constantine-ing.

<ITEM> I Reckymend features Paul Verhoeven’s brilliant Elle and the latest Adam Buxton Podcast.

And that really is, my friends, the end.

@silencepod

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@kellykanayama
[email protected]

THE MASTER HEALED MY WOUNDS… AND SHOWERED ME WITH FOOD

DID YOU KNOW there’s a word in German for the weight gained whilst overeating because of emotional distress? Amazing!
DID YOU KNOW there’s a German word for the witty come backs you think of later? Yeah, it’s true!
DID YOU KNOW the Germans have a word to describe the a longing for far off places? Our German cousins, eh?
DID YOU KNOW that in Germany they have a word for the conversations English speakers have about how Germans have words that describe really specific things?
DID YOU KNOW sharks can smell London from space?

<ITEM> It’s SILENCE! #225 with Gary Lactus, The Beast Must Die and special robot guest Spare 5.

<ITEM> We pay tribute to artist Edmund Bagwell.

<ITEM> Lots of film and TV chat including Alien Colon Covenant, the Blair Witch remake, The Void, Iron Fist, and there’s some Highlander and Judge Dredd fantasy elevator pitches.

<ITEM> we are hanging out on the new SILENCE! Facebook group

<ITEM> We enter the Reviewniverse where we find Bug The Adventures of Forager, Doom Patrol, Rocket, World War Tank Girl, Shade The Changing Girl, and John Smith’s Tyranny Rex text piece from the 2000AD Annual 1991

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@theQuietusFilm
@kellykanayama
[email protected]

Edmund Bagwell
SILENCE! on Facebook
SILENCE! LIVE!

Reviewniverse
Bug The Adventures of Forager, Doom Patrol, Rocket, World War Tank Girl, Shade The Changing Girl, John Smith’s Tyranny Rex piece from 2000AD annual 1991

RECORD  COMPANY MAN, I WON’T BE COMING TO DINNER

Imagine a blurb. A blurb like you’ve never seen. A golden, beautiful blurb that shines like the sun. A blurb that glistens like dew on morning grass. A blurb that sings like the strike of a tuning fork against an angel’s backside. Imagine a blurb like that. That blurb is here. Can you taste it?

<ITEM> It’s the return of The Beast Must Die, joining Gary Lactus for another ker-lassic episode of SILENCE! But wait! What’s this? It’s also a Bobsy episode! A Bobs-isode!

<ITEM>There’s some admin and a whole load of My Two Dads chat. Of course. And some self-promotion for the our sister and brother podcasts Diane and The Earth-Pig Diaries. And news of our various appearances at Small Press Day 2016

<ITEM>Three men in a Reviewniverse? It’s a king-size edition with more digressions than you can shake a fully painted graphic novel at. Transformers Vs GI Joe, 4 Kids Walk into a Bank, The Sweetness, Detective Comics, Providence, Beverley Hills Cop II, Bill Sienkiewicz, Midnight of the Soul, All New Avengers, Captain America, Captain Brexit, Sean Phillips, John Smith, Sexy Male Comics Creator Top Trumps, The Sound of Drowning and a whole lot more.

And we are done. Move along people.

Click to download SILENCE!#195

 SO DRUNK IN THE AUGUST SUN, AND YOU’RE THE KIND OF GIRL I LIKE

But didn’t we? I mean *really* when you think about it, didn’t we? We really did didn’t we? Yes we did. We really did. Did it, I mean. Really. Didn’t we? Didn’t we do it? We did, yes we did. We really really did. Didn’t we?

No.

Ahh. Well then. Should we head to the drawing room and see what Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are up to? Why look! They’re recording a SILENCE! let’s go sit at their feet.

<ITEM> Oo-er, titter ye not, Missus, titter ye not, NO! Don’t you wave your sponsorship at ME!

<ITEM> The Beast takes us on a trip down memory lane to the heady days of the 1980s with Escape Magazine, featuring Alan’s Big American Adventure, Phil Elliott, Eddie Campbell and more.

<ITEM> It’s a one-step, two-step, tickle you under the…Reviewniverse. The boys trudge through the 4-colour wastelands with Ody-C, Madman 3-D special, Prophet Strikefile, Superior Iron Man, Superior Foes of Spiderman, Usagi Yojimbo, Zero, John Smith and more.

<ITEM> A final bit of chat about Guardians of The Galaxy and Thor 2 and then you’re free to do what you want with the rest of your life.

But we did though.

Didn’t we?

Click to download SILENCE!#124

Contact us:

[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

‘Nothing of note was to be inherited by her loved ones, and nor was anything ever expected to be. She was put to rest with exactly the same title as the one with which she was born. She never ruined anyone’s life and never once considered a career in the deliberate, violent immiseration of her fellow citizens.’

‘One measures a circle, beginning anywhere’ – From Hell

‘Easily the current century’s first landmark work of fantasy and ranking amongst the best pieces ever written in that genre, with The Vorrh we are presented with a sprawling immaterial organism which leaves the reader filthy with its seeds and spores’

‘I would say, that if you’re talking about a line of progress, if it can be called progress, that runs from Berthold Brecht’s Threepenny Opera, to Donald Cammell’s Performance, to Harry Potter, I don’t think you can really see that as anything but a decline… and also I would say that if you’ve got the Avengers movie as one of the most eagerly attended recent movies, and if most of those attendees were adults, which I believe they were, then if you’ve got a huge number of contemporary adults going to watch a film containing characters and storylines that were meant for the entertainment of eleven year old boys fifty years ago, then…’

‘We shall attack, we continue to wait… This gesture, which can never be fully grounded in reasons, is that of a Master. It is for the experts to present the situation in its complexity, and it is for the Master to simplify it into a point of decision. … The Master is needed especially in situations of deep crisis.’

‘BOMB ENTANGLERS DISENGAGED’

The Beast Must Die: So frazzled, bedraggled and maybe even bedazzled we all arrived safely back from this year’s Thought Bubble 2012 comics festival in Leeds, which once again proved itself to be a thoroughly enjoyable experience for everyone. It gets the tone just right – an even balance between mainstream and fringe, with the small press rubbing shoulders with industry pros. Girls, boys, seasoned fans, neophytes, kids, pensioners, cosplayers and the just plain weird, the TB crowd is diverse, good natured and one of the best aspects of the whole affair.

Attending something like Thought Bubble also reminds you first and foremost why you love the artform, a welcome shot of 4-colour adrenaline to enliven even the most message board weary fan.

The Mindless Ones were there in pretty full effect, with Andrew Hickey, Gary Lactus and myself  joined by Legendary Weapons Bobsy & Illogical Volume, as well as Mindless Cadet, Mister Attack and the living juggernaut that is Plok. We were positioned on the right hand side of the newly christened New Dock Hall. Andrew was selling his arsenal of wonderful music and comics books, as well as a new volume of his short stories. Lactus had the collected full colour beauty of The Amusing Bros and Andrew & Steven in Knights Of The Realm, and I was touting Cindy & Biscuit, including the brand new 56 page issue no.3. Mr Attack had his comic Everyone’s Felt Like This Once for sale, and Bobsy brought along a free comic featuring both the current PM and Lord Horror no less. Together we formed like Bruticus and set about ensnaring the public.

On a personal level I don’t think I could have had a better time of it. The reception that Cindy & Biscuit received was heartening, and I sold almost everything I took with me. What was especially gratifying was the breadth of customers I had – I sold a lot to kids this year, which was ace. It’s great to think of them reading mys stuff at home, and I just hope they were all appropriately thrilled, amused or spooked by Cindy & Biscuit. Lots of nice people said lots of nice things about it too, from comics pro’s to fans who bought earlier issues the previous year. All in all I was pretty damn chuffed.

It was great chatting to friend of SILENCE!, Al Ewing, whose gift to us was surely the best comic con exclusive that has ever been. He and his lovely friends were all most accommodating to our frazzled selves in the hotel bar on Sunday evening. It was as nice to see Kieron Gillen as ever, and I enjoyed talking to ace 2000AD scribe Rob Williams about Low Life. I was too nervous to speak to John Wagner, and certainly too nervous to ask him to say ‘I AM THE LAW’ in his stentorian Hibernian brogue. We happened to be on the table next to British comics catalyst  Paul Gravett, along with comics artist and scholar John Miers and his lovely partner Megan, who co-runs the Comica Festival with Paul. Paul was his usual enthusiastic self, and did the circuits with his usual charm and aplomb. John and Megan were also  excellent company, and truly sympathetic hangover buddies on Sunday. John’s comics are here and info about Comica is here.

Add to that the thrills of our ongoing experiment in listener alienation with our SILENCE! Thought Bubble special, the epic drinkery at the post TB Saturday night bash at the Leeds Corn Exchange, and you have a pretty full weekend. As I stated earlier, the atmosphere at Thought Bubble is open, friendly and enthusiastic. I can’t rate it high enough, and will certainly back next year.

But really, I hear you pretty much scream, FOR THE LOVE OF AQUAMAN, WHAT ABOUT THE COMICS???????!

Well…

Being: the third in a series of posts about John Smith and Edmund Bagwell’s top British horror comic Cradlegrave.

I know one thing – they’re out there and I’m in here. Or rather, we are. Burrowed into precariously rented homes, needing increasingly mutilated services, awaiting mail that brings nothing but threats and bad news, painfully aware that social participation is as demanding of contacts, salesmanship and resources as much as livable employment, vaguely bewildered at a city that announces NOT FOR YOU from every corner: This is the Condition of the Working Class in Bizarro Town. Occasionally supermarkets, burger bars and pasty chains beckon for our devalued labour; if we can demonstrate the ‘right attitude’ (note: I can’t). Failing that, providers of job-seeking ‘services’ extract their own value promising to train us in the ‘right attitude’ and mandatory salesmanship. Otherwise we can shut the fuck up, get off the streets, and watch TV shows informing us that we’re scum. Or, as far as one’s amour propre can allow, talk to faceless strangers on machines that mine and collect details of every careless utterance. This is how neoliberalism ends: Not with a bang, but whimpering, numbing Dystopian cliche. A design against life.

(Pere Lebrun, A Hungry Gorge)

Click here for extra added haunting!

Being: the second in a series of posts about John Smith and Edmund Bagwell’s top British horror comic Cradlegrave.

If you’re going to talk about Cradlegrave, you’ve pretty much got to face up to this image at some point:

Stripped of context it’s just a doll, just a tired horror-movie prop, a signifier of terror rather than something actually terrifying. In context however, this dull prop seems far more potent:

The sense of surprise, that feeling of “what the fuck is that face doing in the middle of this conversation?”, is enough to give the image some fresh charge here.  The last panel of the sequence hints at the answer, but for the duration of the two panels before it you could be forgiven for thinking you were in another, more Lynchian kind of horror story.

Still, even the most bewildering emanations in Cradlegrave trace back to fleshy, non-Lynchian sources, so it’s just as well that there’s more to the this sequence than  lifeless eyes and startling incongruity.

Look into these eyes, and tell me what you see…