Mindless Ones

YOUR THIN PAPER WINGS, IN THE WIND, DANGLING

Roll the dice – move forward 4 steps. You find yourself at the clearing of a large empty podcast. To your right are some dense opinion shrubs. To the left a bubbling pool of judgments. Roll the dice – you decide to ignore both and move forward 8 paces towards the giant floating skull in the centre of the clearing. Roll the dice – you ask it a question: “Where am I?” The skull opens it’s mouth and with a terrifying ear-splitting screech it tells you…”SILENCE!”

Contact us:

[email protected]

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

WEEKENDER… WEEKENDER GO OUT, HAVE A GOOD TIME

Okay class for this week’s creative writing exercise I want you all to produce a blurb for a podcast. I know we’ve been reading some of the real classics in the blurb field, some of the greats. But for this I want you to  shake them off, and just write something fresh and vibrant. Something that really says something about a modern podcast in the 21st Century.

So; 300 word blurb on my desk tomorrow morning:

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<ITEM> It’s that time again. You feel that itching behind your ear? That crawling on your scalp? The sweat on your eyeballs? That’s another edition of SILENCE! tearing its way into our reality. And riding it bare-back are Gary Lactus, The Beast Must Die and special guest stud Bobsy!

<ITEM> Sponsorship, The Beast’s nomination at the British Comic Awards and Gary’s Jack of All Polymaths? You bet your can!

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse aka the nexus of all realities, point zenith, the Bermuda Podcast… Inside waiting are the boys going deep on Alan Moore’s Providence, Michael DeForge’s Lose, Young Terrorists, Sandman: Overture, Wolf. From Under Mountains, Nameless and Bitch Planet

<ITEM> Bobsy does an outro his dear old Ma would be proud off, and we’re off!

click to download SILENCE!#159

Contact us:

[email protected]

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE, MY STYLE IS IDENTICAL TO NONE

If you want a vision for the future, imagine a podcast stamping on a babyman’s neckbeard forever! That’s right – Big Blurber is watching you…

WAR IS COMICS
COMICS ARE SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS COMICS

Your mind is not your own. All thoughts of comics are Thoughtcrimes. Not thinking about comics is a Thoughtcrime. Neckbeards are not a Thoughtcrime. Necbeards are a FACECRIME.

Welcome to the only Doublethink podcast, the podcast that gives you a nice cold comforting bellyfeel, the podcast that YOU will hear is doubleplusgood. Those who don’t thinks so will be made unpeople in almost speedful fashion.

Big Blurber is watching you. He is watching your neckbeards. So think the goodthought and come join the joycamp that is..SILENCE!

<ITEM> It’s a mega epixxxxx amazo superblast X-travaganza with special guest Bobsy, joining Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die, and this sucker clears the two-hour mark son! Expect deviations, rambling digressions and wildly speculative theorising just the way you like it!

<ITEM> Admin, sponsorship, a discussion of the Ladybird Illustration exhibition and I Can’t Believe You’re Listening to That Vol 1. Oh and the Galacticats of course, because: the internet.

<ITEM> Trip trap trip trap over the rickety rackety Einstein-Rosen Bridge..into the Reviewniverse! They cover Providence, Material, Plutona, 8 House: Kiem, Garth Ennis’ War Stories, Here, Midnighter, Jem & The Holograms, Anticon, Sole, Daredevil, Safari Honeymoon, Hip Hop Family Tree Vol 3 and a whole lot more.

<ITEM> A world weary Gary Lactus kicks the other two out of his spaceship with a roar of GET ORF MOI SPACESHIP! And the podcast is OVER! BOOM!

Click to download SILENCE!#155

Contact us:

[email protected]

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

IT’S THE BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ IN THE DRUM OF THE EAR

Doug stepped out into the sunlight, blinking. His dressing gown lolled open, exposing his paunch. Tina’s vest top, pulled on accidentally in his rush to get outside barely covered it and the thick black hair on his belly poked out obscenely. In one hand he held a spatula; the other reached reflexively into the dressing gown pocket for the lighter he knew wasn’t there. Last night’s beer emanated from his stale mouth and he rubbed his tongue across his teeth. He wanted to belch but found he couldn’t. Taking his eyes from the sky for a moment he glanced to his left. Kathy was stood on her front lawn, gazing upward with her mouth hanging slackly open. Her two year old hung at her legs, pulling on her arm sleeve whining in a low, insistent tone. Across the road the Petersons crowded around their camper van, all staring up.

The vast alien structure that hovered high above them was still humming it’s deep bass tone and rotating slowly. The bone like growths that sprouted from it creaked as they slowly undulated. The noise was awful, too much, too loud for Sunday morning. Doug couldn’t take his eyes from it, but his brain had already started to hanker for a Bloody Mary. Just as he was trying to remember if the tomato juice was still okay to drink, a jagged split opened up in the base of the structure. And that’s when it really began.

<ITEM> There’s a fresh crop of admin, waiting to be picked, with nosey bouquets of Sponsorship and more Christopher Walken than you can shake a (Walken) stick at. It’s time for a new SILENCE! the only podcast that predates the discovery of the moon. Seasoned pod jockeys The Beast Must Die and gary Lactus are joined by new season recruit Bobsy, and the fun flows like lava,

Click to download SILENCE!#148

Contact us:

[email protected]

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

A KNIFE, A FORK, A BOTTLE AND A CORK, THAT’S THE WAY WE RUN NEW YORK

Lette me telle you a storye…let me weave you a dream

Come then gentlefolk, down the hitherymost further-far path into the faraway mistymost woods at the bottom of the garden. You’ll have to be quiet as the quietest church mouse and nimble as the most hop-skippety-jumping frog. Now close your eyes… do you hear those far away tinkling bells? Those bells that sound like tears on a drisly Wednesday evening? Those are the Belles of Gaiman’s Folly, tolling. Down the furtherymost farthest dingly lane in Gaimain’s Folly there’s a Magick Cheese Shoppe. On a dusty, musty old shelf in the back of the Cheese Shoppe, they keep all the faraway most forgottenest things…Christmas is kept their 364 days a year, as are childhood dreams and the first sweet taste of love. Would you like to go there with me gentle stranger? Would you?

Now do you see that doorway opening just out of the corner of your eye? Grab my hand and make a wish…wish for something sad and sweet and we will twirl you and I away from ths sadde world of grown ups and jobs and cares, and spin, spin merrily into the magickal realm of Gaiman’s Folly…come on let’s spin, and wish and spin and wishandspinadnwishwishwishspin…..

Wait, what the f*ck is that? A Tesco Metro? This isn’t Gaiman’s Folly, it’s Watford.

Oh well, I guess we might as well grab a King Size Snickers and a Chocolate Yazoo and settle down in this carpark and listen to the latest SILENCE!

<ITEM> Dancing in the disco, bumper to bumper, wait a minute where’s me jumper? HEY! BOBSY’s wearing it! That’s right Dear Listeners it’s one of those episodes where the intellectron levels of the podcast skyrocket, with dunderheaded Gary Lactus and dunderpanted The Beast Must Die scrabbling to catch up, dragging their proverbial knuckles through the proverbial dust…

<ITEM> Sponsorshenanigans, Breakdown Press’ Safari, Gary Lactus’ Brighton Fringe Show and the pure love of Point Break. Do you want to know more..?

<ITEM> And they’re off! Into the Reviewniverse and none of them fall at the first hurdle! Straight in with Nameless, Dark Star, Kaijumax, Surface, Albie Briggs, Event Horizon, Convergence, Batman & Robin, New Statesmen, God Hates Astronauts, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Jim Steranko, 2000AD, Descender, Disney Infinity, Jupiter’s Circle, Southern Bastards, Avengers Ultron, Batman Eternal, Copra and Dragon’s Claws.

<BONUS ITEM> Bobsy and The Beast review a comic they haven’t read and hasn’t been published yet…Black Widow! We’ll call this segment The Art of Reading Without Reading.

“And that was all” said the Dream Weavre.

“Goodnight comics”

“Goodnight Dear Listeners”

“Goodnight SILENCE!”

Goodnight.

Click to download SILENCE!#138

Contact us:

[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.