Mindless Ones

IT’S LIKE A WHIRLPOOL AND IT NEVER ENDS

At last! It’s time for The Big Pivot! Welcome to the SILENCE! Sportscast! All the Action! All the balls! More kicks and hits than you could reasonably kick or hit! Who’s winning? YOU!

Unfortunately the sports chat gets somewhat derailed by talk about gigs and the 90s before Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die get sucked into The Reviewniverse where they find Joe Wilkinson: My Autobiography, Elf Quest, Cerebus, Viz (Gary’s got a strip in it!) and Proustian comics in general.

Following that, there’s a lovely bit of SILENCE! (Because The Film’s Started) in which The Beast Must Die has seen The Flash.

All sport is finally forgotten as the hosts reckymend Comfort Blanket, Allan Quartermain and the Spear of Destiny (Jesus fucking Christ), Blood & Flesh: The Reel Life & Ghastly Death of Al Adamson and Gary just won’t stop going on about his Patreon. At this point in the blurb we usually say, “AND MORE!”.

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You can support us using Patreon if you like.

SILENCE! has not been sponsored by the greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH! Comics of London for years but we still love them.

Welcome to the SILENCE! Seasonal Scrapings! Gary Lactus, has cobbled questionable content from the contents of our Patreon, namely Gary’s Com Dom Corner, a new venture in which he reads and reviews a comic suggested by members of C-Unit. The three Com Dom Corners here feature Legion Of Suprheroes, Wildcats: Trilogy #1 and Nth Man The Ultimate Ninja. But before that, Gary runs down his Best Of 2023 list.  Have a big Christgasm everyone!

Welcome back, Jolly Whackos, to The Mighty Crusaders Number Four! In this episode, Gary Lactus puts page three of The Mighty Crusaders Number Four under the electron microscope and peers into the quantum universes living in each line, punctuation mark and ear of this life-changing, explosive stick of dyna-mind!!!

Transcript and pictorial reference below for true students of greatness.

KI-YIPPEE AND YAHOO, YES SIR!

IT’S HAPPENING NOW. THE CRAZED IN THE HOT-ZONE

Leaping lizards, it’s only our flipping 300th episode specktaklyar! OR IS IT? No it is. OR IS IT? You’ll have to listen to find out won’t you?

In this firm, festive and juicy edition of the world’s first, favourite and indeed only podcast SILENCE!, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die answer listener questions. That’s right it’s primo pod-content provided by the loyal SILENCE massive and let me tell you the boys rise to the occasion, like a couple of rum happy castaways bobbing on a raft made of pure hot comic opinions.

Lots of things discussed, all of it delivered in the mighty, meaty, beaty, big and bouncy SILENCE manner. I’m not going to list it all here, that would spoil th fun and it has nothing to do with laziness.

Thanks to all who provided questions, and keep it festive, freaky during the holiday season. Be nice to each other.

END MESSAGE

@frasergeesin

@thebeastmustdie

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HEY PUT IT DOWN, THAT’S DAD’S SWORD!

It’s a Very Special Episode! The Beast Must Die is flying solo, with an episode-length exegesis on the myriad pleasures and horrors of the fabled Prestige Format Comic. It’s an epic for our times for sure, and when you look at these times that tells you everything you need to know about this epic…

<ITEM>Okay gird your girdles, stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen…here we go. The Beast talks about Batman: Gotham By Gaslight, Batman: Holy Terror, Batman: Full Circle, Batman: The Scottish Connection, Batman: Mitefall, Batman: Year 100, Batman: Manbat, Batman: The Cult, Batman: Run Riddler Run, Robin 3000, World’s Finest, Catwoman Defiant, Cosmic Odyssey, Legend Of The Green Flame, Blackhawk, Deadman: Love & Death, Deadman: Exorcism, The Horrorist, The Golden Age, Hawkworl, The Books of Magic, Martian Manhunter: American Secrets, Adam Strange: The Man of Two Worlds, Twilight, OMAC, Justice Inc, Black Orchid, The Prisoner: Shattered Visage, Breathtaker, Black Mask, Gilgamesh II, The Nazz, My Name Is Chaos,  Clash, The Psycho, Skull & Bones, Tempus Fugitive, The Griffin, Grendel Vs Batman… sweet christmas… I need a lie down.

<ITEM> Normal business resumes soon.

@frasergeesin

@thebeastmustdie

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BILLY THE KID DID WHAT HE DID AND HE DIED

Boy did you see that? That was something wasn’t it? It sure was something. What do you mean what was it? I have no idea. I just know it was something. Yes sir, it sure was. Something, that is. Couldn’t say for sure exactly what, but let me tell you I know that it was *something*. I know what it wasn’t though. It sure wasn’t a BLURB.

<ITEM> New Year, New SILENCE! New Year, New Podcast! New Year same old sad sacks of mince Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die!

<ITEM> It’s a packed episode, designed to fill the howling voids of uncertainty in your brains. First up SILENCE! Cos I’m Watching The Telly! wherein the Beast talks up the myriad pleasures of the Doom Patrol TV show. Then the pair have a good old natter about Feels Good Man, the strange and depressing descent of Pepe The Frog.

<ITEM> Take a hop, skip, slip and plunge into the Reviewniverse. Happy talky talky happy talk, talk about  things you like to read….The Far Side, Calvin & Hobbes, Midnight Men, Howard Chaykin Bingo, Pirate Corp$, 2000AD Xmas special, Judge Dredd: Book Of The Dead, World Judges and a lot (not much) more

<ITEM> I’m tired. Go away please.

<ITEM> Just kidding, I kiss.

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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BUT DON’T DESPAIR, THIS DAY WILL BE THEIR DAMNEDEST DAY

BARMAN! Hey barman! It’s been a heckuva day all over hasn’t it? Just a HECKUVA day. I’ll be goddamned. My throat is parched. So why don’t you sidle over here and pour me a nice stiff podcast. Straight, no chaser, just make sure it’s got a real high percentage of unqualified opinions. Maybe top it up with juuuust a touch of hot air.  Perfect. Now I’lm gonna knock this down and shake off this goddamned day.

What do you mean, tip?

<ITEM> It’s a brand new day, a bdand new world, a brand new existence! But more than that it’s a brand new SILENCE!  with your hoary old pals Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. Couldn’t you just kiss them on their wet little noses?

<ITEM> Some honest-to-goodness Sponsorship, some chat about the apparent exit of the world’s orangest, angriest baby, and news of our digitable at the virtual ThoughT Bubble 2020 festival…

<ITEM>Reviewniverse time baaaaaybee and it’s packed to the gills with comic shaped treats: The Green Lantern, We Only Find Them When They’re Dead, Excalibur, Happy Hour, Bad Boy, Xerxes, X’ed Out, The Hive, Sugar Skull: Last Look by Charles Burns, Judge Dredd: The Complete Case Files Vol 1 and Dire Fucking Straits…

<ITEM> Did we already tell you to BUY OUR SHIT?

ALL ITEMED OUT

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO MORE? ALL OF THE RATIONS? SOUND THE ALARM, THERE MUST BE A STOWAWAY!

After you.

No please, I insist after you.

Really dear boy, I absolutely mean it – after you.

Dear me no, don’t be silly, I wouldn’t DREAM of it. AFTER YOU.

TSK, TSK, I SIMPLY WON’T HAVE IT GOOD FELLOW….. AFTER. YOU.

NNNNNNNNNGGGGHHH….PPPPPPOPPYCOCK GOOD SIR…AFTER.   YOU.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Well, if you’re oing to start coming on all hoity-toity… I say. Where’s the door gone?

<ITEM> Comics, baby, just the way the everlovin’ everlastin’ intended. All served up by those worn-out skin-suits Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die in a salty dish of SILENCE!

<ITEM> Some thrilling cat-related updates, then a hotttt new section ‘SILENCE.. I’M LISTENING TO SOMETHING ELSE!‘ with The Beast’s reckymend of the SYFY podcast ‘Behind the Panel’ detailing the history of Vertigo Comics and the general aceness of Karen Berger.

<ITEM>The duplicity of Neil Gaiman, and Warren Ellis doesn’t like Jack Kirby!

<ITEM> Let’s do it. You and me pal. Let’s really do it. Let’s go into the Reviewniverse, pal. You, me and comics, together in a tree. Bill and Ted are Doomed, Aliens: Book One and Dark Horse’s franchise comics in general, Billionaire Island, Deadline #13, Jackpot, kids in baths of lemonade and just a whole hunka rambling love more…

<ITEM> BYE BYE

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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I’VE BEEN SAVING UP FOR A LIFE LIKE THIS, YOUR GOD IS BOOING YOU OFF STAGE AND YOUR HEROES DON’T RESPECT YOU

SILENCE! Haiku:

Jaded comics fans

We do our duty for you

No need to thank us

<ITEM> Dragging itself into the light like a flea-bitten, depressed lion at a run-down zoo, here’s a new SILENCE! to “brighten” your “days”. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have a nice warm package for you that smells distinctly like comics…

<ITEM> The very loosest notion of sponsorship? I suppose.  There’s a run through of the contents of 2000AD Prog 284. Silence! Because The Film Has Started takes in Snowpiercer and Eurovision. There’s also some chat about the end of the current Hellblazer as well as a eulogy that cannot possibly do justice to the tragedy of Chadwick Boseman’s death.Plus a Great New Competition?

<ITEM> Reviewniverse is calling your name…will you answer it? We did and this is what happened…Doom Patrol Weight of Worlds, Prisoner: Shattered Visage, Doom 2099, Abslom Daak: Dalek Killer and James Stokoe’s Sobek are all discussed.

<ITEM> A bit of a chat about the unremitting awfulness of everything all the time and then home for cocoa and cookies.

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]