Mindless Ones

IT’S LIKE A WHIRLPOOL AND IT NEVER ENDS

At last! It’s time for The Big Pivot! Welcome to the SILENCE! Sportscast! All the Action! All the balls! More kicks and hits than you could reasonably kick or hit! Who’s winning? YOU!

Unfortunately the sports chat gets somewhat derailed by talk about gigs and the 90s before Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die get sucked into The Reviewniverse where they find Joe Wilkinson: My Autobiography, Elf Quest, Cerebus, Viz (Gary’s got a strip in it!) and Proustian comics in general.

Following that, there’s a lovely bit of SILENCE! (Because The Film’s Started) in which The Beast Must Die has seen The Flash.

All sport is finally forgotten as the hosts reckymend Comfort Blanket, Allan Quartermain and the Spear of Destiny (Jesus fucking Christ), Blood & Flesh: The Reel Life & Ghastly Death of Al Adamson and Gary just won’t stop going on about his Patreon. At this point in the blurb we usually say, “AND MORE!”.

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You can support us using Patreon if you like.

SILENCE! has not been sponsored by the greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH! Comics of London for years but we still love them.

Welcome to the SILENCE! Seasonal Scrapings! Gary Lactus, has cobbled questionable content from the contents of our Patreon, namely Gary’s Com Dom Corner, a new venture in which he reads and reviews a comic suggested by members of C-Unit. The three Com Dom Corners here feature Legion Of Suprheroes, Wildcats: Trilogy #1 and Nth Man The Ultimate Ninja. But before that, Gary runs down his Best Of 2023 list.  Have a big Christgasm everyone!

IT’S HAPPENING NOW. THE CRAZED IN THE HOT-ZONE

Leaping lizards, it’s only our flipping 300th episode specktaklyar! OR IS IT? No it is. OR IS IT? You’ll have to listen to find out won’t you?

In this firm, festive and juicy edition of the world’s first, favourite and indeed only podcast SILENCE!, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die answer listener questions. That’s right it’s primo pod-content provided by the loyal SILENCE massive and let me tell you the boys rise to the occasion, like a couple of rum happy castaways bobbing on a raft made of pure hot comic opinions.

Lots of things discussed, all of it delivered in the mighty, meaty, beaty, big and bouncy SILENCE manner. I’m not going to list it all here, that would spoil th fun and it has nothing to do with laziness.

Thanks to all who provided questions, and keep it festive, freaky during the holiday season. Be nice to each other.

END MESSAGE

@frasergeesin

@thebeastmustdie

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HEY PUT IT DOWN, THAT’S DAD’S SWORD!

It’s a Very Special Episode! The Beast Must Die is flying solo, with an episode-length exegesis on the myriad pleasures and horrors of the fabled Prestige Format Comic. It’s an epic for our times for sure, and when you look at these times that tells you everything you need to know about this epic…

<ITEM>Okay gird your girdles, stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen…here we go. The Beast talks about Batman: Gotham By Gaslight, Batman: Holy Terror, Batman: Full Circle, Batman: The Scottish Connection, Batman: Mitefall, Batman: Year 100, Batman: Manbat, Batman: The Cult, Batman: Run Riddler Run, Robin 3000, World’s Finest, Catwoman Defiant, Cosmic Odyssey, Legend Of The Green Flame, Blackhawk, Deadman: Love & Death, Deadman: Exorcism, The Horrorist, The Golden Age, Hawkworl, The Books of Magic, Martian Manhunter: American Secrets, Adam Strange: The Man of Two Worlds, Twilight, OMAC, Justice Inc, Black Orchid, The Prisoner: Shattered Visage, Breathtaker, Black Mask, Gilgamesh II, The Nazz, My Name Is Chaos,  Clash, The Psycho, Skull & Bones, Tempus Fugitive, The Griffin, Grendel Vs Batman… sweet christmas… I need a lie down.

<ITEM> Normal business resumes soon.

@frasergeesin

@thebeastmustdie

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BILLY THE KID DID WHAT HE DID AND HE DIED

Boy did you see that? That was something wasn’t it? It sure was something. What do you mean what was it? I have no idea. I just know it was something. Yes sir, it sure was. Something, that is. Couldn’t say for sure exactly what, but let me tell you I know that it was *something*. I know what it wasn’t though. It sure wasn’t a BLURB.

<ITEM> New Year, New SILENCE! New Year, New Podcast! New Year same old sad sacks of mince Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die!

<ITEM> It’s a packed episode, designed to fill the howling voids of uncertainty in your brains. First up SILENCE! Cos I’m Watching The Telly! wherein the Beast talks up the myriad pleasures of the Doom Patrol TV show. Then the pair have a good old natter about Feels Good Man, the strange and depressing descent of Pepe The Frog.

<ITEM> Take a hop, skip, slip and plunge into the Reviewniverse. Happy talky talky happy talk, talk about  things you like to read….The Far Side, Calvin & Hobbes, Midnight Men, Howard Chaykin Bingo, Pirate Corp$, 2000AD Xmas special, Judge Dredd: Book Of The Dead, World Judges and a lot (not much) more

<ITEM> I’m tired. Go away please.

<ITEM> Just kidding, I kiss.

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@thebeastmustdie

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BUT DON’T DESPAIR, THIS DAY WILL BE THEIR DAMNEDEST DAY

BARMAN! Hey barman! It’s been a heckuva day all over hasn’t it? Just a HECKUVA day. I’ll be goddamned. My throat is parched. So why don’t you sidle over here and pour me a nice stiff podcast. Straight, no chaser, just make sure it’s got a real high percentage of unqualified opinions. Maybe top it up with juuuust a touch of hot air.  Perfect. Now I’lm gonna knock this down and shake off this goddamned day.

What do you mean, tip?

<ITEM> It’s a brand new day, a bdand new world, a brand new existence! But more than that it’s a brand new SILENCE!  with your hoary old pals Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. Couldn’t you just kiss them on their wet little noses?

<ITEM> Some honest-to-goodness Sponsorship, some chat about the apparent exit of the world’s orangest, angriest baby, and news of our digitable at the virtual ThoughT Bubble 2020 festival…

<ITEM>Reviewniverse time baaaaaybee and it’s packed to the gills with comic shaped treats: The Green Lantern, We Only Find Them When They’re Dead, Excalibur, Happy Hour, Bad Boy, Xerxes, X’ed Out, The Hive, Sugar Skull: Last Look by Charles Burns, Judge Dredd: The Complete Case Files Vol 1 and Dire Fucking Straits…

<ITEM> Did we already tell you to BUY OUR SHIT?

ALL ITEMED OUT

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

si************@gm***.com

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO MORE? ALL OF THE RATIONS? SOUND THE ALARM, THERE MUST BE A STOWAWAY!

After you.

No please, I insist after you.

Really dear boy, I absolutely mean it – after you.

Dear me no, don’t be silly, I wouldn’t DREAM of it. AFTER YOU.

TSK, TSK, I SIMPLY WON’T HAVE IT GOOD FELLOW….. AFTER. YOU.

NNNNNNNNNGGGGHHH….PPPPPPOPPYCOCK GOOD SIR…AFTER.   YOU.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Well, if you’re oing to start coming on all hoity-toity… I say. Where’s the door gone?

<ITEM> Comics, baby, just the way the everlovin’ everlastin’ intended. All served up by those worn-out skin-suits Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die in a salty dish of SILENCE!

<ITEM> Some thrilling cat-related updates, then a hotttt new section ‘SILENCE.. I’M LISTENING TO SOMETHING ELSE!‘ with The Beast’s reckymend of the SYFY podcast ‘Behind the Panel’ detailing the history of Vertigo Comics and the general aceness of Karen Berger.

<ITEM>The duplicity of Neil Gaiman, and Warren Ellis doesn’t like Jack Kirby!

<ITEM> Let’s do it. You and me pal. Let’s really do it. Let’s go into the Reviewniverse, pal. You, me and comics, together in a tree. Bill and Ted are Doomed, Aliens: Book One and Dark Horse’s franchise comics in general, Billionaire Island, Deadline #13, Jackpot, kids in baths of lemonade and just a whole hunka rambling love more…

<ITEM> BYE BYE

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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I’M DONE WITH ADULT MATTERS, I’M DOING THE CATAPULT, I’VE BEEN MEANING TO GET OUT OF HOLLYWOOD

In my day, a blurb were something you could be proud of. These new fangled blurbs? Pfeh! No-one even tries anymore. Time was, a blurb would be the work of a craftsman. Man could spend 20 years learning the blurb trade before he was even allowed to put pen to page. Now? Any chancer can write a blurb – just string a load of nonsense together and then it’s pens down, off to play squash, or drink a Perrier or what have you. Disgusting. My father’s spinning in hos grave every time one of these new blurbs gets written. Poor old dad. What a world.

What a world.

<ITEM> It’s a brand new SILENCE! As regular as clockwork. If that clock is broken and at the botto of a pond. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die coming at you live (not live) and direct (circuitously).

<ITEM>Sponsorship in this brave new hellscape – what does it look like? FIND OUT HERE

<ITEM>Sad news, Thought Bubble 2020 is cancelled, but find out here about all the great comics that Gary and The Beast WOULD have been debuting at the con.

<ITEM> Reviewniverse time, and it’s a big juicy chat about Beautiful Stories For Ugly Children, The Far Side, Captain Victory, Stray Bullets, Piranha Press, Billionaire’s Island, Todd McFarlane’s Spiderman, Tomorrow, Documentary Now and more more more (more).

<ITEM> Who is, what is…The Savage Beast???

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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AND THEY’RE WONDERING WHY WE CAN’T CONNECT WITH THE RITUAL OF THE TRASHED GUITAR

You can earn money from home! Blurb writers urgently required to fill space at top of podcast post. Competitive rates. No real talent or wit required! Hurry hurry hurry!

<ITEM> S…S…S…SILENCE! (turn and face the strange). Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you another hot shot pod rocket from out of their undercrackers and into your earholes.

<ITEM> Look, there’s probably some rambling nonsense and sponsorship and admin at the start. I can’t remember though. You have a listen and tell me about it in the comments.

<ITEM> The Beast Unboxes his latest treat-bundle for your listening pleasure

<ITEM> Into the glacial embrace of the Reviewniverse with the gasbags gasbagging about House of the Black Spot, Jamie Delano’s Animal Man, Baby by Philippa Rice, Lone Wolf & Cub, The Man Who F#@cked up Time, Chosen: the New Messiah, Eightball #23 (Death Ray) and probably more, maybe less??

<ITEM> I have a hangover. Go away.

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

si************@gm***.com