I’M DONE WITH ADULT MATTERS, I’M DOING THE CATAPULT, I’VE BEEN MEANING TO GET OUT OF HOLLYWOOD

In my day, a blurb were something you could be proud of. These new fangled blurbs? Pfeh! No-one even tries anymore. Time was, a blurb would be the work of a craftsman. Man could spend 20 years learning the blurb trade before he was even allowed to put pen to page. Now? Any chancer can write a blurb – just string a load of nonsense together and then it’s pens down, off to play squash, or drink a Perrier or what have you. Disgusting. My father’s spinning in hos grave every time one of these new blurbs gets written. Poor old dad. What a world.

What a world.

<ITEM> It’s a brand new SILENCE! As regular as clockwork. If that clock is broken and at the botto of a pond. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die coming at you live (not live) and direct (circuitously).

<ITEM>Sponsorship in this brave new hellscape – what does it look like? FIND OUT HERE

<ITEM>Sad news, Thought Bubble 2020 is cancelled, but find out here about all the great comics that Gary and The Beast WOULD have been debuting at the con.

<ITEM> Reviewniverse time, and it’s a big juicy chat about Beautiful Stories For Ugly Children, The Far Side, Captain Victory, Stray Bullets, Piranha Press, Billionaire’s Island, Todd McFarlane’s Spiderman, Tomorrow, Documentary Now and more more more (more).

<ITEM> Who is, what is…The Savage Beast???

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

MY NAME IS IVOR, I’M AN ENGINE DRIVER

Comics? Comics? We don’t need those stinking comics!

<ITEM> They’re back, and they just can’t stop telling people that they’re in LOVE! It’s Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die return from the bearhunt, ripped, randy and raring to podcast. Are you ready for SILENCE!??

<ITEM> Look, I’m not going to waste your time – this is easily the most discursive, digressive, rambly episode in a long while as the boys seem determined to avoid talking about comics. Along the way though they manage to incorporate Lars Von Trier’s Top Cat, The Five Obstructions, Dancer In The Dark, SILENCE to Astonish LIVE at Thought Bubble 2017, David Lynch: The Art Life, Daredevil season 2 (audio version), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (audio), Universal Soldier: Resurrection, Gun Mobiles, Supersonic, Michael Fleischer’s Steve Ditko’s Oasis Comic, SDCC News, Arkham Asylum 2, Dave McKean, Photocopied clocks, Squirrel Girl, Dr Strange, ESCAPE issue 10, the birth of maturity, Stray Bullets, Bernie Mireault’s The Jam, American Splendor, Shade The Changing Girl, Mystery In Space, Captain Victory, Silver Star and a whole rambalicious slew more. Dive in why don’t you, and grab yourself some treasure…

@silencepod

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@kellykanayama
[email protected]

“THE BEAST MUST OCH AYE MAIR LIKE IT!”

With The Family Beast  busy pitching a Netflix series to cash in on the ecstatic reactions to Mini-Beast’s debut vocal track, and Illogical Volume hunched over an inter-dimensional toilet seat with time to kill, today is the day where we get to find out whether SILENCE! can survive a sudden influx of vile Northern nationalism!

It’s also the day where Illogical Volume gets himself banned from the nationalist dance party and from Dundee for mistakenly saying “Glaswegian” when he means “Scottish”, but no one ever said access to the Reviewniverse came cheap!

<ITEM!> Who is the nicest Mindless?  A hint: he’s not on this podcast!

<ITEM!> Since he’s mysteriously lacking in sponsorship deals from Dave’s Comics of Brighton, Illogical Volume takes a punt on his local library instead.  Somehow this devolves into Mssrs Lactus and Volume blethering on about how dead relatives can give you totally meaningless power – a “redeeming fart” is also mentioned but not heard.

<ITEM!> In a section that he didn’t remember to call SILENCE! at the Art Gallery, Mr Volume enthuses about the Frank Quitely: The Art of Comics exhibition currently running at the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum in Glasgow and recommends that SILENCE! listeners from all dimensions take the opportunity to really immerse themselves in all those footery wee lines and brilliant panel layouts.

A preparatory sketch for Batman and Robin, by Frank Quitely

<ITEM!> After that’s done with the boyce head over to the Reviewniverse for a nice wee trudge through the wheat fields of comics.  Shirtless Bearfighter, Shaolin Cowboy, Stray Bullets, Kathryn Briggs’ Magpie and Triskelion (which you should totally buy!), Al Ewing’s Ultimates 2 (which Illogical Volume should totally read!), Douglas Noble’s The Dreadful Work and After The Sessions (with Sean Azzopardi), Helena Crash, Justice League of Captain America and more.

From 'Pieces of Earth' by Kathryn Briggs

<ITEAM> In “I Recky-Mend” Mssrs Lactus and Volume somehow manage to spoil the plot of the new Bladerunner movie without even seeing it, and Mr Volume gibbers on about Darkcell’s Nightmare Document part 1, which he totally didn’t buy after seeing John Darnielle big it up the other day…

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@kellykanayama
[email protected]

WHAT WHAT, MY POP ROCKS!

Gary Lactus hosts an epic mash up lash up* starring hard boiled gritty pre-Giuliani New York cop just two weeks away from retirement, Johnathan Dick and a hypnotic robotic Spare 5 who returns like the monster from an ever diminishing horror franchise! Better than that though is the explosive entrance of crime fighting duo The Beast Must Die and Mini-Beast, ready to deliver a 200+ megaton purple nurple right on the left boob of the London Underworld! Wanna know what we talk about? There was loads and load and plenty of it not comics. Here’s a list of words!

2000AD Titan Editions, akira, Animal Man, Beneath, Blair Witch, Cry of the Werewolf, Curse Words, Dennis Potter, Doom Patrol, Found Footage, Found Footage Films, Gabriel Hardman, Gi Joe Vs Transformers: The Movie, Hitman, horror, Invisible Republic, Johnathan Dick, Judge Dredd Deviation, Junji Ito, Justice League Trailer, Kong: Skull Island, Larry Cohen, Larry Fessenden, Lone Wolf and Cub, Manga no Manben, Mini Beast, Naoki Urasawa, Nemesis, Not Quite Hollywood, Roger Corman, Romaction, Romance of a different name, Sandman: Overture, Scratched Live!, Silence! Because the Film’s Started, Slaine Choose Your Own Adventure Comics, Stray Bullets, TBMD, The Beast Must Die, The Belfry, The Origin of Spare 5, walking dead

FEAR THE NIGHT!

*made you look!

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@theQuietusFilm
@kellykanayama
[email protected]

 

I’M GONNA LOSE MY THOUGHTS IN 200 BARS

RUFF! What’s that you say Lassie? Superman is stuck down the well? Then he isn’t Superman. Leave the jerry-curled impostor down there to rot.

It’s another guestilicious episode of the only podcast guaranteed to stem the endless tide of tears that is modern life…it’s SILENCE! featuring Gary Lactus, The Beast Must Die and Lord Nuneaton Savage. Comics discussion that bends reality into unsettling new shapes, then makes sweet, strange love to it. WHILE YOUR PARENTS ARE SLEEPING NEXT DOOR!

<ITEM> Sponsorship, admin, and the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe entry for Lord Nuneaton Savage. It’s the canon being re-written before your very eyes and there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it. ‘Kay?

<ITEM> Behold the hazy smear on reality that is the Reviewniverse and observe the 4-colour wonders that lie within… There’s some A+ grade chat about Hook Jaw, The Flintstones, Garth Ennis’ War Stories, Battle, Moto Crush, New Superman, Grave Lillies, Prison Pit, Rock Stars, Motro, Stray Bullets, Young Liars, Cage, The Fever Closing, and mo’ mo’ mo…

@silencepod

 

I DANCED MYSELF RIGHT OUT THE WOMB, IS IT STRANGE TO DANCE SO SOON?

Morning has broken, like the first podcast… Yowza dear listeners, you’re staring down the barrel of the earliest-recorded SILENCE! yet. Will Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, or bleary-eyed and bushy-bearded? YOU DECIDE.  Imagine a bowl of crunchy, nutritious comics flakes, sodden with the milk of human opinion, and that’s this week’s show.

<ITEM> There’s a whole heap of admin for the upcoming Thought Bubble festival, including SILENCE! TO ASTONISH live, and the Sound & Vision panel. Jinkies! Add in a bit of hasty sponsorship and you got yourself some prime admin.

<ITEM> Through the dreamsqueezers threshold  and into The Reviewniverse. Only two men singing this time – it’ll never be the same again… it’s brief but nutritious with talk of Johnny Ryan’s Angry Youth Comix, Stray Bullets, Brendan McCarthy’s Dr Fate, Shade The Changing Man and maybe a bit more. Or a mit bore?

<ITEM> The Beast recounts his visit to see John Carpenter live.

NO MORE ITEMS. See you at the festival!

THE ENGLISH MOTORWAY SYSTEM IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRANGE

Can you help us? We went on holiday by mistake…

That’s right Boils and Giggles, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have returned to brighten the corners and blow the dust from your ear-holes. How did you cope? What did you do? Where did you go to get uninformed, half-baked opinions about comics? WHY? HOW? WHO? Well don’t fret….SILENCE! is back and all is right again in the world*

*apart from everything that’s wrong and the fact that we’ll be lucky if we make it out of the decade as a species

<ITEM> Who wants some admin? Some sponsorship? Some waffle? Digressions? Begging? Apologies? All present and correct. Your mileage may vary.

<ITEM> DIY horror and comedy gone bad

<ITEM> Top secret news about SILENCE! #200…although by ‘secret’ I mean that we’re talking about it publicly on a podcast that anyone can listen to.

<ITEM> Finally we breach…THE REVIEWNIVERSE?!!? Like a Kirby-collage it reveals it’s shimmering 4-colour splendorousness… Discussed: Stray Bullets, Batman, Blue Beetle, JLI, New Superman, Kill Or Be Killed, Falling Asleep Watching Films, Batgirl, the transience of pop culture, Sun Bakery, Sixpack & Dogwelder, Loeb & Sale’s Challengers Of The Unknown and more more more.

<ITEM> Live DIY and paint on the recorder.

<ITEM> Out-the-backdoormin and the promise of a rosy future.

Didn’t you miss us? Couldn’t you just weep?

 
Click to download SILENCE!#199
 

THE ENGLISH MOTORWAY SYSTEM IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRANGE

GUNBOATS FLOAT LIKE CEMETERIES, INSIDE YOUR GUITAR

Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die in a dance off that you just won’t believe! Throwing shapes that could change the fabric of space and reality! It’s time to step up to the streets, in 3D, in full effect! Those boys were thrown out of home when they were 15 and they been dancing ever since! Nobody puts SILENCE! in the corner! NOBODY!!! (and break)

<ITEM> It’s an old skool spektacliar, as Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die hold hands and touch the sky together! Crazy guys – back in action!

<ITEM> Sponsorship? Check. Ramblocious ramblings? Check. A Kickstarter campaign worth your time? Check. Earth-Pig update? Check.

<ITEM> And then we’re hard into the Reviewniverse like a couple of bouncing bombc skipping across the 4-colour fjords. Looking at Batman: Rebirth, DC Rebirth, Superman: Rebirth, and DC Afterbirth. Plus! Civil War 2, Spiderwoman, Stray Bullets, Cinema Purgatorio, Stuart Gordon’s From Beyond, Papergirls and more, more, more (how do you like me?)

<ITEM> Bit of backmin and then we ‘re off!

Click to download SILENCE!#191

WHEN YOU’VE BEGUN TO THINK LIKE A GUN, THE REST OF THE YEAR HAS ALREADY GONE

Welcome welcome welcome welcome….WELL COME ON THEN! Don’t just stand there on the doorstep snivelling! In or out, make your choice. But when you’re in you’re in, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t know what I mean, then you’re out. And if you’re out, you’re out for good, if you get my gist. And if you get my gist then you’re on my team – and if you’re on my team then you’re in. SO GET IN FOR GOODNESS SAKE. You’ve let out all the heat. And I’d only just got this podcast nice and toasty. GAH!

Welcome to SILENCE! The comics podcast for discerning imbeciles.

<ITEM> The Beast Must Die & Gary Lactus pack up their troubles in their old kit bags and  smile, smile, smile – all the way into some classic admin. And it’s a doozy. Sponsorship out the wazzoo, some honest to goodness SILENCE! News abbout DC: Resnooze and a whole heap more

<ITEM> BUT! There’s also a great episode of SILENCE! (Because the Film has Started) with The Beast Must Die on Austrian horror Goodnight Mommy and Gary Lactus on Deadpoo. I mean Deadpoo. Goddamnit, no, I mean Deadpoo. DEADPOO!

<ITEM> Das Reviewniverse with hot topical chattering on Sammy Harkham’s Crickets, Spider Woman, Stray Bullets, Power Man & Iron Fist, Bitch Planet, Swamp Thing, Katsuhiro Otomo’s Memories and Farewell To Arms, Huck and the Deadline 1990 Xmas Special

Whooooooooooosh! Hear that? That was your mind being blown.

click to download SILENCE!#177