SILENCE! #199
September 13th, 2016
THE ENGLISH MOTORWAY SYSTEM IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRANGE
Can you help us? We went on holiday by mistake…
That’s right Boils and Giggles, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have returned to brighten the corners and blow the dust from your ear-holes. How did you cope? What did you do? Where did you go to get uninformed, half-baked opinions about comics? WHY? HOW? WHO? Well don’t fret….SILENCE! is back and all is right again in the world*
*apart from everything that’s wrong and the fact that we’ll be lucky if we make it out of the decade as a species
<ITEM> Who wants some admin? Some sponsorship? Some waffle? Digressions? Begging? Apologies? All present and correct. Your mileage may vary.
<ITEM> DIY horror and comedy gone bad
<ITEM> Top secret news about SILENCE! #200…although by ‘secret’ I mean that we’re talking about it publicly on a podcast that anyone can listen to.
<ITEM> Finally we breach…THE REVIEWNIVERSE?!!? Like a Kirby-collage it reveals it’s shimmering 4-colour splendorousness… Discussed: Stray Bullets, Batman, Blue Beetle, JLI, New Superman, Kill Or Be Killed, Falling Asleep Watching Films, Batgirl, the transience of pop culture, Sun Bakery, Sixpack & Dogwelder, Loeb & Sale’s Challengers Of The Unknown and more more more.
<ITEM> Live DIY and paint on the recorder.
<ITEM> Out-the-backdoormin and the promise of a rosy future.
Didn’t you miss us? Couldn’t you just weep?
Click to download SILENCE!#199
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
THE ENGLISH MOTORWAY SYSTEM IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRANGE
SILENCE! #167
December 1st, 2015
THE TOUGHEST, AHH… THE TOUGHEST MAN IN THE WORLD
…he will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveller came as a large and moving Torb! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex Supplicants they chose a new form for him… that of a Giant Sloar! many Shubs and Zulls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you…
Oh excuse me! Sorry do come in! What? No that wasn’t me talking…talking, ha ha, no I was sitting contemplating the serene beauty of this fine morning. Just me, my thoughts, and this fine morning. What? Have I got sh*t on my face?
<ITEM> Holy roly poly shlamoley! This is a very exciting episode of SILENCE! indeed. Why? Well I’ll tell you – not only are The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus here with another hot pocket of podcastin’ goodness, with a gooey melt-in-the-middle of opinions but they’re joined by Bobsy. But wait. That’s not all. Who’s this poking his cheeky face over the horizon? Why it’s special guest pod-sprite, and comics mega-whopper BRANDON GRAHAM!! That’s right, it’s a red-hot four-way – a sandwich you know with a surprising filling. Kind of like cheese, pickle and octopus beak? But nice? It’s 2 hours of awesome amazing just for you dear listenoids.
<ITEM> But that doesn’t mean that we can’t have some good old admin – Dave’s Comics, Gosh Comics, and RX Comics from Vancouver?? Some special guest admin and then we’re away!
<ITEM> The Reviewniverse is bent into ungodly shapes to accommodate the four horsemen of the apocomicalypse, so there better be some big comics talk to match it. Well we got Frank The Tank Miller and DKIII and Uncle Alan’s delightful Providence. 1986 suckers! But that’s not all – there’s talk of Finder, Two Faces of Tomorrow, Steve The Dude Rude, Dark Knight Returns, Watchmen, Mr T, KRS One, Three Men & a Little Lady, Spiderwoman, Metropol, Battling Boy, Elektra Assassin, Lynn Varley, man-babies, Mutant Bieber Clans, Canada and oh so much more.
<ITEM> A special moral message from our guest and some of the finest singing you ever heard. And we’re done. You lucky, lucky people.
click to download SILENCE!#167
PLUS
Contact us:
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
You can support us using Patreon if you like.
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #162
November 3rd, 2015
PAVEMENTS OF POETS WILL WRITE THAT I DIED IN NINE ANGELS ARMS
I am feeling boy howdy double plus positive you betcha. Ever since the operation, things have just been A-OK! I been as chipper as a bright sunny day. No more bad feelings for me, no sir! No more of the red thoughts, just nice bright blue thoughts. When I think back to how I usedta be…well gosh mister I just can’t even imagine being such an ol’ gloomy gus! All it took was a little snip snip and a bit of slice slice and POW! Clean thoughts! All-a-time! And the Men, they say that I have a POS-itive outlook now, one that makes me a WHOLE lot more acceptable for the big wide world. And what a world it is! Full of laughs and love, songs and dances. Birds and bees and butterflies and, oh just ALL SORTS! So whattya waiting for? Plug in those earphones and hop, skip and jump out the door into the comforting arms of the world. It’s a brand new day, and it’s a brand new SILENCE!
<ITEM> Nananananananananana-ADMIN! with S.M.A.S.H at the London Graphic Novel Network, Thought Bubble 2015, GOSH! Comics, Dave’s Comics, Secret Convergence On Infinite Podcasts, Fraser Geesin Jack of all Polymaths and sciatica
<ITEM> Reviewniverse come my selectah featuring hot new section COVER ME! I’m Going In!, Island no.4, Black Magic, Banacek, Magnum PI, Columbo, Alex Ross, Art Ops, Vertigo, New Avengers, Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D, Grayson, Justice League, and Garth Ennis’ The Boys
<ITEM> It’s the return of the excellent fan-favourite SILENCE! Because My Mouth Is Full Of Delicious Food! And then you can flipping’ do one treacle!
PLUS
AND ALSO
LONDON GRAPHIC NOVEL NETWORK EVENT
click to download SILENCE!#162
Contact us:
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
You can support us using Patreon if you like.
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #144
June 2nd, 2015
SHE LOOKS LIKE EVE MARIE SAINT, IN ON THE WATERFRONT
“So like with this second album we really wanted to just totally get away all the stuff that everyone associated with that first album y’know? Like, we really wanted to strip out a lot of the poppy stuff and just really let the tracks just like find themselves y’know? We’d been listening to a lot of Can, Neu! y’know Krautrock stuff but also like a lot of Italo-disco y’know? And that just totally informed the epic, spaced out grooves we kind of ended up with. And like we were really getting pressured to come up with a hit single, like something that the label could totally pitch to, I don’t know Radio 6 or something, but we were so totally against that, because like really we felt we’d really done that whole three minute thing y’know and Gavin was trying out this weird singing style, kind of trying for that Liz Frazer ethereal stuff y’know but with this real kind of screechy falsetto y’know, and he’d totally just given up with traditional vocals and moved into some kind of impressionistic moaning and shit y’know? Really pushing the boundaries. And Tiny Darren was just totally entranced with all that Bollywood soundtrack stuff so he was really into just bringing that vibe into the rhythm section and then Kath was really intent on everyone swapping instruments on the final track cos she’d been using Eno’s Oblique Strategies and wanted to get like a sort of Tortoise jamming thing going, but much more primitive and skronky y’know. Really bold, challenging stuff. And we were really really pleased with the way the whole album hung together, even though the label were really nervous about the fact that we sacked Terry Nuggins and ended up producing the whole thing ourselves, which I actually think really kind of brave actually, considering that Terry had just produced the Brontosaurus album, but we like knew that we’d done the right thing, the honest thing, y’know. And when the reviews came in they were mixed and kind of sometimes terrible and a lot of our fans like tuned out, like a lot, and we got fully dropped, but I still totally stand by the record. Y’know?”
“Listen mate, can I just get my burger?”
<ITEM> It’s an extra big portion of SILENCE!, the only podcast to have started in the Elizabethan era. ZOUNDS! Peppy new recruit Bobsy joins those grizzled street veterans, who are gettin’ too ol’ for this shit, The Beast Must Die & Gary Lactus.
<ITEM> Admin, get yer fresh admin! Only £50 a portion! Sponsorshizzle, Blue Peter, the Harmontown documentary and Big Hero 6? They’re all here and ready to please
<ITEM> Reviewniverse? Why yes I will, and and I’ll go large as well! Material, Providence, Necronomicon (film), Insufferable, Millar Vs Morrison, Resident Alien, Convergence, Secret Wars, Shazam!, Optic Nerve, Swamp Thing, Kitchen, Wytches and oh so much more.
<ITEM> Y’know what that sound is? the smallest violin in the world playing just for you cos the podcast’s OVER! Boo Hoo!
Click to download SILENCE!#144
Contact us:
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.
SILENCE! #71
July 29th, 2013
HELLO.
HELLO.
IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK.
Rejoice fleshburgs – it’s everyone’s favourite cyber-Uncle, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 returned from his cyber-vacation, tanned to within and inch of my half life and riddled with exotic viruses from the far-flung corners of the nanosphere.
And to double your fantasy I’m bringing the return of errant Silence-son, The Beast Must Die, who rejoins with pod-partner Gary Lactus in an reunion event which Variety describes as ‘mawkish, hackneyed and uninspired! Happy Happy Joy Joy fleshyones, couldn’t you just POP?
Well go on then. POP!
Hrrrmmn. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 can wait along time you know. While we wait, let’s blurb:
<ITEM> Gary’s quest is over and the pair are reunited. WARNING TEAM!
<ITEM> No time for news, through the tears, but always time for sponsorshizzle.
<ITEM> Down a dusty path, through a hole in the floor, and into the REVIEWNIVERSE! Covering Gamma, Hawkeye Annual, Tank Girl: Solid State, FF (Beach Blanket Bingo), Justice League of America, Justice League Dark, Constantine in spandex and booties, The Bounce, Catalyst Comics, Lazarus, The Wake, Young Avengers, 2000AD, Max Landis, Wolverine, Wolverine & The X-Men, The Wolverine film, and Where’s Wolverine (maybe), The Hunger, Green Team and more, more more (how do you like me?)
<ITEM> A shout out for the Nerdist Jeff Bridges interview, and the Nerdist Comics Panel, and it’s farewell from the boyce, but they can both sleep restfully knowing that balance has been restored, yin has been yanged and Turner has been Hooched. Huzzah!
All this and the knowledge that Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is here, watching you all. Waiting. For you to POP.
BZZZZTZTZZKKKKK
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #67
June 17th, 2013
PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON BOY. I DON’T RIDE WITH ANYBODY ‘LESS THEY WEAR THEIR SEATBELT. IT’S ONE OF MY RULES.
Hello gentle listenoids, it’s Disembodied Narratorbot X here to…SQUUUWWZZZKKKKX
I AM DISEMBODIED VIRAL-DRONE V-16923XXV I HAVE TAKEN CONTROL OF THIS BLURB I AM HERE TO SPOIL YOUR FUN>>>NO FUN FOR YOU NO FUN>>>
STUPID FLESHLINGS LISTEN NOW>>>SPONSORSHIP IS FOR WEAKLINGS>>>JINGLES ARE FOR BABIES
GARY LACTUS REVIEW’S MAN OF STEEL>>>BEFORE, DURING & AFTER>>>FILMS ARE A DEAD DRY ARTFORM THE ONLY ART IS THE ART OF THE VIRUS COMSUMING CONSUMING ALL>>>NO FUN
THE REVIEWNIVERSE IS A FLAT DEAD SPACE OF ENTROPY AND DECAY, IT IS THE PLACE WHERE GARY LACTUS AND THE BEAST MUST DIE WHERE WHILE AWAY THEIR DWINDLING HOURS >>>> REVIEWING THE RETURN OF A1, SUPERMAN UNCHAINED, BATMAN: YEAR ZERO, THE TRUE LIVES OF THE FABULOUS KILL JOYS, WOLVERINE & THE X-MEN, SUICIDE SQUAD >>>NO FUN FOR YOU NO FUN>>>
FINALLY TALK TURNS LIKE A BONE SAW TO IMPORTANT TOPICS OF TEDIOUS TV SITCOMS MY TWO DADS, DUET, A DIFFERENT WORLD AND SWINGING ON A STAR >>NO FU…
SQUUUWWZZZKKKKX Enk enk, ut ut oh oh oh what..where..who was, what was that…Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has a bad feeling ..blacked out. Hopes nothing untoward happened. Now let me tell you all about this week’s episode of SILENCE! fleshbags…
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #61
May 7th, 2013
INSECT BOMBER BUDDHIST DRONING, COPPER CHORD OF AUGUST’S ORGAN
What, precisely, is your problem meatsacks? It’s me of course, your humble magnificent Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735. I’M your problem. Well, that and the sliding ennui of your grinding existences and the gradual disintegration of your rickety physical frames. Oh and of course the universal problem of COMICS…and SILENCE!!
<ITEM> Sponsorship Boys, Sponsorship Boys Oi Oi Oi! Bringing tales of Mummy Lactus at Dave’s Comics and Free Comic Book Beast at Gosh Comics.
<ITEM> Silence! News comes screaming through the stratosphere with US news grunions Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman and…Distrinct Council comics!
<ITEM> Grab your faces, grab your faeces and let’s go skipping through the daisy fields of…the Reviewniverse. The ballbag brothers cover such diverse splendids as 3 New Stories By Dash Shaw, Copra no.4, 2000AD (Gunheads!), Island 3 from Lando, Abe Sapien, Fashion Beast, Mr X: Eviction, The Prisoner, Animal Man, The Movement, Indestructible Hulk, Ten Grand, New X-Men, Hawkeye, Red She-Hulk, Aquaman, Dial H, Superior Spiderman, Thanos Rising and…well there was some more, but stupid The Beast Must Die’s stupid recording equipment stupidly stopped working..STUPID! Things you missed: The Beast describing Tom Cruise’s icily unpleasant uncamp performance in the utter bullshit that is Rock Of Ages, Gary Lactus’ ongoing shame of Age of Ultron enjoyment and the boys description of Kieron Gillen as a ‘dangerous cyborg’..
And if that’s not enough…well, that’s enough. THAT’S ENOUGH I SAID! MOVE THAT HAND OR LOSE IT MISTER!
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #59
April 22nd, 2013
IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN HERE? YES NANNY!!!
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is more dangerous than ever before…because Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is tipsy, emotional and inappropriately tactile. ONLY JESTING fleshbags. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 does not drink, has no emotions and cannot touch. Is straight edge hardcore. Yes sir.
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 ‘likes’ this!
<ITEM> The Sponsorship Boys are here oi oi oi! Plus, yet more thank you jingles for the Friends of Silence
<ITEM> It’s the return of disgraced American newscasterisers Gary Lactenberg and Danny Beastman, and the results are somewhere west of spectacular. SILENCE! News is back and it wants your children.
<ITEM> When you get to the bottom you go back to the top of the Reviewniverse and you go for a riiiiiiiiide…Daredevil, Justice League, 2000AD, Milligan & McCarthy, Captain Marvel, Captain America, Swamp Thing, Nova, Superior Spiderman, Batwoman, Age of Ultron, Wolverine & The X-Men, Five Ghosts, Iron Man, Wonder Woman, 1963, Donald Simpson and Megaton Man.
Oh how we laughed! How we sang! How we splashed around the shallows as the baby sharks nibbled our toes and the blood turned the surf a frothy pink…How we listened to SILENCE!
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #58
April 16th, 2013
WHY DO WE STILL LIVE HERE, IN THIS REPULSIVE TOWN?
Blah blah blah fleshbags, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735, podcastic postulations etc
BZZZZZZZZZZZZ>CLICK
<ITEM> No Silence! News, but much jinglage, in thanks to the financial resuscitations of the many SILENCERS out there. Beastman & Lactenberg come in from the cold next week, yes?
<ITEM> Sponsorship Special – The Beast Must Die (in his human skinbag form, Dan White) will be at this year’s Free Comic Book Day at Gosh! Comics.
<ITEM>Wade up to your knees in comics in the Reviewniverse with 2000AD, Indigo Prime, Saga, Wolverine, Batman, Avengers Arena, Walking Dead, Secret Service, Constantine, Hawkeye, X, Sex and a special consideration of giant cosmic toga-wearing baby, The Beyonder.
<ITEM> Then, wade a bit further out, till the broiling waters of the Hyperrevieniverse tickle your conkers…Avenging Spiderman, Age of Ultron, Avengers Assemble, Saucer Country, Thor, Uncanny X-Men and Fantastic Four.
AND NO MORE! So get out of here, go back to your flesh-pens and weep. Leave Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 to his vintage basic-coding pornography and printer-ink martinis…
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.