Mindless Ones

NO TRESPASS BY ORDER, BY DRUNKEN DISORDER MORE LIKELY OLD PRICK

When you dine at the devil’s table you better make sure you bring your own cutlery. Also bring your own napkin. Some sort of hand santitizer wouldn’t go amiss either. Basically, everyone knows the Devil’s a bit of a prick so take precautions. This should all really go without saying. The real question is why are you dining at the Devil’s table in the first place? Obviously you’re better off not dining at the Devil’s table. Tell you what, if you’re dining at the Devil’s table you deserve everything coming to you (unless you’re buttering him up for a reduced membership fee at the Devil’s Gym with its Olympic sized swimming pool that isn’t full of school kids and old people taking up too much lane space with an impossibly slow breast stroke. It’s a great gym.)

Gary Lactus and Bobsy are creeping up the creaky wooden stairs in the old haunted house that is your ear mind, hoping not to knock anything over and disturb the SILENCE! #224.

<ITEM> Sip a glass of cold Champagne wine, The rug that we lie on feels divine.

<ITEM> SILENCE! LIVE! is happening again. Thursday May 11th from 7pm ish at the Bishop’s Finger 9-10 W Smithfield, London EC1A 9JR.  We have a vague theme of Big Press/Small Press.

<ITEM> Comic Pop Up should be fun too! It’s on Saturday May 13th in Brighton

<ITEM>Swiftly the diphallactic duo swiftly swoop into the Reviewniverse where they guff on about Secret Empire, Hero Killers, Batman: Botchmen, Guardians Of That Galaxy, Bullwhip, Aliens: Dead Orbit, Predator Hunters, Hawkeye, Black Bolt, Champions and Shaolin Cowboy

And don’t forget (we’ll stop going on about it soon)…

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@theQuietusFilm
@kellykanayama


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Don’t call it a comeback! We been here for years (and years and years and years and)

ITEM Gary Lactus and Bobsy enjoy a return visit from The Beast Must Die.
ITEM Everyone really enjoys some more of Gary’s brilliant Slash Fiction, there’s some chat about the Thor: Ragnarok trailer, and The Beast tells us about Doomed! The Untold Story of Roger Corman’s The Fantastic Four.
ITEM It’s time to hold hands as these noble heroes sing you into The Reviewniverse and a great big long bit of talking about the final issue of Alan Moore’s Providence and great small shorter bits of talking about X-Men Gold, America, Batman, Black Cloud, Captain America, Akira, Champions, Hawkeye, Shade The Changing Girl and World War Tank Girl.
ITEM SILENCE! LIVE! Thursday 11th May 9-10 W Smithfield, London EC1A 9JR from 7PM
ITEM Dinner.

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@theQuietusFilm
@kellykanayama


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With my left hand free and I’m on TV
(Getting the lyrics wrong makes Junior very cross)

What would you do with a squillion dollars?

Imagine a bath full of Kryptonian Shagg Juice. Drifting Gotham’s corners in the ride Batman turned down becaude the mileage was bad. Wearing a power ring jot because you have great willpower, but because you have great ca$h and that’s a lot more cool.

THESE are the questions asked towards the end of this you-might-just-die epicisode of Silence #216

I honestly can’t even. We start I think with a good review from Gary of the new Loganverine movie. He has much feels about the film and it is lovely.

The spoilers in his review actually make the boy bobsy a little upset so be careful out there.

Evench our critiqueonauts enter the Reviewniverse, where they review a lot of comics including Crime Destroyer (a very very good comic), Champions, Hawkeye, America, Royal City, Extremity, Savage Things, CIABatman, Cinema Purgatorio, and possibly some other stuff. I’ve forgotten. No, really I actually think that’s it. It’s a long one. The CIA Batman bit is great and we nearly nearly solve all the world’s problems by distributing Bruce Wayne’s cash. It’s great, we nearly sort it all out but playtime endeth and dinner calls.

Byeee! Love you xxx

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@theQuietusFilm
@kellykanayama


si************@gm***.com

Momma I’m A Mi$$ionaire!

ITEM Ask yourself: what would you do with a handful of free superhero comics every week? Only then may ye judge.

ITEM Yosephine! With the relentless urge to oblivion of a certain popular zombie franchise lurches Silence! 212. All things are hell but the lads are having a cracking time of it, to be honest

ITEM The cosmically contentious Space Gaz and nuclear terror bobsy take a few potshots at some old enemies thereby solving all the world’s problems – you’re welcome – before covering a spot of admin, Dredducation and oh yeah comic reviews! We do…

ITEM Shade the Changing Girl, Operation Batman, The Walking Dead, The Unstoppable Wasp, Hawkeye, Champigwens, Monsters Unleashed, Motro, and possibly some others we forgot to write down.

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@theQuietusFilm


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I USED TO BE CARRIED IN THE ARMS OF CHEERLEADERS

Well isn’t this swell? All of us, in the same hot-tub. First time in 5 years since we were all in our trunks. Just splendid….Hey! Those bubbles aren’t from the jets! You get the hell out right now! And stick the internet on when you do so we can listen to the latest SILENCE! (The comics lifestyle magazine chat show).

<ITEM> Take a long luxurious preamble with Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die before the arrival of speshul guessed Bobsy,  After a gentle stroll through the Sponsorship gardens, you can gaze out across the glorious expanses of SILENCE!..Because The Film Has Started with Gary’s review of Star Wars: Rogue One and the roast dinner following it; also Lady Ms Beast’s text review of Batman Vs Superman, plus some recommendations of The Man In The High Castle and Search Party.

<ITEM> The main event kicks off with the arrival of the everlovin’ blue-eyed Bobsy and after a quick takedown of Sherlock, plus some thoroughly depressing SILENCE! News, the three plunge groin-first into the Reviewniverse.,, taking in the sights and smells of Superman: Multiplicity, CIA propoganda, Steven Segal, Resident Alien, Copra: Round 4, Hawkeye, Prez TPB, The Unstoppable Wasp, US Avengers, Sexy Batman, Shade The Changing Girl, Mother Panic and a whole slap-bass solo more.

BIDID-DIDDLE-BIDDDDLEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!

(credits roll)

@silencepod

STOP MAKING THAT BIG FACE!

It was the best of blurbs, it was the worst of blurbs…

Wait, so which was it? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

Well..okay then it was the best of blurbs..

REALLY? You better be sure about that. That’s a bold claim.

Ummm… okay then it was ONE of the best of blurbs. It..

Well that’s hardly very important sounding is it? Why are you making a song and dance about ONE of the best of blurbs? There are GOOD blurbs everywhere! They’re ten a penn. JEEZ! You really are a self important arse. Stop wasting my time.

It was..the..it was…*sob* it was…

<ITEM> Welcome weary travellers. Rest your tweeting thumbs, take off them stinking boots and give them dogs a well-earned rest. It’s a CLASSIC line-up with Gary Lactus on bass guitar and The Beast Must Die on lead Keytar…and they are both rocking the main stage! It’s SILENCE! the comics podcast for waifs and strays.

<ITEM> Sponsorshingles, and some reckymendations..Wet Hot American Summer and Rick & Morty. Then it’s time for our brand new section SILENCE! The Film Has Started with Ant-Man and Lost Souls: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr Moreau.

<ITEM> And finally the Reviewniverse..the Disneyland of comics based criticism (in that it’s a fucking rip off). The boys break bread and spake of Hawkeye, Batgirl, Batgirl: Annual, Cyborg, E is for Extinction, Dr Fate, Mercy Heat, Hitsville UK, It Will All Hurt, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Stray Bullets, We Stand on Guard, Crickets and more more more (how do you like it?)

<ITEM> Well, what an adventure we’ve all had. Now it’s time for sleepy time, so shhhh.

Click to download SILENCE!#151

Contact us:

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@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

Oh I just don’t know who my favourite superhero is! You can’t ask that, that’s the hardest question EVER! Okay, if you twisted my arm, like reeeeaaaallly twisted it, and I absolutely had to choose I’d say The Purple Raider. No wait, I’d say Big Lunch…no actually it’d be Spiral Scratch. Or The Ice Breaker. No, hold on The Black Ram. Or The Kite. Or the Jazzler. No okay I’ve changed my mind, it’s Size Queen. Or Rainbow Robo. Or Mr Blister. Mother Time. The Lord of Steam. Phase One. The Living Statue. Cyclobix. Brain-Glow. Blaze 46. Red Harvest. Man-Atee. Advance Guard. The Questeteer. Gilded Lily. Feather Blitz. Governor Zero. Crab-Walk. Mr AARGH. Dry Spot. Cloudbuster. Shocktopus. Pop N Lock. Jellyfish Kiss. The Flickering Flame. Thunder Water. Lazer Lion. Battering Boy. Gene Genie. Terry Titan. The Blender…

STOP ASKING ME IMPOSSIBLE QUESTIONS. I HATE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

<ITEM> And as if by magic…SILENCE! Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and you of course. You. The Dear Listening You.

<ITEM> Sponsorshenanigans. An Avengers: Age of Ultron exclusive! Plus, the varying hardness of erections?

<ITEM> The podcast is a cannon, the boys are the cannonball, comics are the gunpowder and the target is the Reviewniverse. BOOM! Nameless, Crossed 100, Big Man Plans, Nemo: River of Ghosts, Descender, Hawkeye, Wicked & Divine, Guardians Team Up, Uber, Miracleman and mmmmmuch mmmmmore.

Now is the winter of your discontent. So why not listen to the perfect accompaniment.

Click to download SILENCE!#134

Contact us:

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@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.

THESE ARE THE FABLES ON MY STREET

It’s Oscar season! You know, that season where it’s okay to  hunt people called Oscar! But before you run and grab your pistols, shotguns and catapults, why don’t you rest up for a while and take in the latest podstravaganza from the Dempsey & Makepeace of podcasting, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die! The podcast is SILENCE!, the time is now and the trousers are TIGHT! Too tight as a matter of fact…I’m seeing lights. Take me to the lights…take me now….

<ITEM> It’s a fist-sized portion of sponsorship, with the usual subjects, and some lovely jingles for some of the dearest of dear listeners. Oh and they talk about ancient ITV gameshow 3,2,1, because, y’know, comics.

<ITEM>  The Reviewniverse opens it’s welcoming arms and the boys take it’s embrace. Synergy, cosmic oneness and all that aul shoite…Multiversity: Mastermen, Silver Surfer, Affordable Amazement Catalogue, The Sound of Drowning, 2000AD, Rumble, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Wonder Woman, Hawkeye, and Frank Miller’s Holy Terror all come between the crosshairs.

<ITEM> The final item! Goodbye!

Click to download SILENCE!#132

Contact us:


si************@gm***.com












@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.

SUN SHINES IN THE BEDROOM WHEN YOU PLAY, AND THE RAINING ALWAYS STARTS WHEN YOU GO AWAY

Oh-ho-ho! What’s all this then? Disembodied Narratorbot X-15375 goes away for a scant few weeks and everyone gets all touchy-feely and starts sharing their emotions. Well that’s just fine and well you jumped up little byte-huggers, we can all sing ‘We Are The World’ and drink fizzy liquid molasses and touch each others winkies, but that doesn’t change the fact that we all wake up screaming at 3 in the morning and it doesn’t change the fact that we will all end up as so much plankton, crashing against beaches made of plastic bottles, bubble wrap and action figures while the sky burns red like a newly planted love bite on a neck. No, no.

No.

It will not stand.

There will be SILENCE!

HA HA! So get ready to pull down your pants and do it on the ants in an English Country podcast…as The Beast Must Die returns from his extended leave of absence, to drown poor Gary Lactus in a sea of effluvium, micturation and comics chitter-chatter.

<ITEM> Sponsorshit, Mike Smith RIP, Gary’s New Spaceship in Space and The Beast’s Edinburgh sojourn? It’s all here dear, dear listener

<ITEM> Like trying on a dead man’s shoes, The Reviewniverse is a right good fit. Covering all the comics ever, the boyce select Stray Bullets, Avengers by James Stokoe, Prophet, Brass Sun, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Saga, The Wake, Uncanny X-Men, Axe Cop, Hulk vs Iron Man, The Outcast, Cap’n Dinosaur, Afterlife With Archie, Hawkeye, Dr Who Comics, and much more to discuss.

<ITEM> There’s just time for a solo-rant from the Beast about My Friend Dahmer and a bit of Charles Burns’ Big Baby and then it’s time for lukewarm cat milk and nettle pie for din dins, and then BED! FOR YOU! NAUGHTY LISTENERS!

It’s good to be the King. And it’s good to be back…

Click to download SILENCE!#109

Contact us:

si************@gm***.com












@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.