SILENCE! #254
August 14th, 2018
JONATHAN IT’S LATE. DON’T YOU THINK THAT I SHOULD GO?
Hello…?
Is there anyone receiving this signal?
We seem to have become unshackled from time and space…we no longer no where we are, where we should be or where we are. We are unmoored, adrift. Time looks like an inside out rubiks cube. I can see your beginning and my end, and they are. The. Same. Thing.
Help us. Something has happened. We’re sending this….this podcast out there into the no-space to try and cast an anchor on a point in time, any time to try and get home. Please. This is a message. A message. In a bottle.
Is anyone there? Or is it just…
silence.
<ITEM> Whelp, we’re back and we’ve even changed our scanties. Motherbox would be proud. It’s time for a brand new encounter with Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you the world’s most regular podcast, SILENCE!
<ITEM> So much to say, so much to do. Sponsorship, admin – all present and correct SAH! There’s probably some other nonsense in here too, but I certainly won’t be listening to the pdcast to find out!
<ITEM> The yawning maw of the Reviewniverse is prosed open by the plucky pair, and inside is lurking … COMICS, just the way you ordered them – out of date, stale and irrelevant! DIscussed are League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Tempest, 2000AD Sci-Fi special, Captain America, Marvel Rising, Jemm Son of Saturn, Vertigo Pop: Tokyo, Squirrel Girl & Ms Marvel, New Lieutenents of Metal, Oblivion Song, Die Die Die!, Mick Garris as the Zelig of Horror, Terminator: Secondary Objectives and Terminator: Enemy Within. Phew!
<ITEM> Time for a couple of I Recky-mends and then it’s tearful, cheerful, fearful goodbyes! Lap it up you suckers!
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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #241
November 22nd, 2017
Forty years I been a blurb-writer y’know? My father before me was a blurb-writer and his father before him. And he started the blurb-writers union and all – every blurb-writer worth their salt still talks in hush tones about the blurb riots of 1933. Wouldn’t have the rights we do today without my grandfather and his mates. It’s in the blood is what I’m saying. If you cut me, do I not blurb. Heh.
But it’s a dying art. It’s dead to be honest. Got these new machines that can write a blurb in half the time, and no chance of a spelling mistake or a missed deadline. Oh sure they don’t read the same, but when the bosses see those bottom line figures, you think they care? And the readers hardly notice, that’s the real kicker. In too much of a hurry to get to the content. Click the link, access the content. Content, content content. Well what about conTEXT is what I say? What’s the point. You probably aren’t even reading this anyway. Oh well. Sorry grandpa…I’m trying. I’m trying to do you proud. Once more unto the breach…
<ITEM> HA! A new SILENCE! and it’s only been a week? What is this – a regular schedule or something??
<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die hold hands and do their merry aural dance for your ears only. Bit of Dadmin, some righteous Sponsorship, Gary’s Birthday and the Beast recounts his adventures in going VIRAL!
<ITEM> Reviewniverse shenanigans ensue with talky-talks of Fence, the DC House of Horror special, Bob Godfrey, 2000AD, Indigo Prime, Revere, John Smith, Captain America, Generation Gone, Not Brand Echhh and more, dammnit so much more. Also features some live John Constantine-ing.
<ITEM> I Reckymend features Paul Verhoeven’s brilliant Elle and the latest Adam Buxton Podcast.
And that really is, my friends, the end.
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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #221
April 11th, 2017
Don’t call it a comeback! We been here for years (and years and years and years and)
ITEM Gary Lactus and Bobsy enjoy a return visit from The Beast Must Die.
ITEM Everyone really enjoys some more of Gary’s brilliant Slash Fiction, there’s some chat about the Thor: Ragnarok trailer, and The Beast tells us about Doomed! The Untold Story of Roger Corman’s The Fantastic Four.
ITEM It’s time to hold hands as these noble heroes sing you into The Reviewniverse and a great big long bit of talking about the final issue of Alan Moore’s Providence and great small shorter bits of talking about X-Men Gold, America, Batman, Black Cloud, Captain America, Akira, Champions, Hawkeye, Shade The Changing Girl and World War Tank Girl.
ITEM SILENCE! LIVE! Thursday 11th May 9-10 W Smithfield, London EC1A 9JR from 7PM
ITEM Dinner.
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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #214
February 21st, 2017
Then give me the electric chair
ITEM TFW you beam down from thespaceship (in space) feeling real, real good! If you knew the things I knew, dear participant…
ITEM Iiiiiiiit’s a bobsy week on Silence #214 but don’t worry it’s still quite good, he wrote, a little drunk and quite pass-agg.
ITEM The lads Gary and Batlow piss about for a bit before they enter the reviewniverse (where conditions are ferocious), and in the process cover the all-important Sponsorshibboleths, the Lego Batman movie, #dredducation and a perhaps too in-depth look at the bob’s feels about the recorded long player music album called BATMAN by the prince of a place called Prince.
ITEM And that goes on for a little bit too long if we’re honest, or maybe he’s edited it, (I don’t know. I’m on a train, as the boy Cobain might have said, also mentioned in this epppppisode)
ITEM But then yeah eventually we get to the reviewniverse where everybody’s talkin’ about (in no good order) Wildstorm, Cave Carson, CIABatman, Nazi Captain America, Ultimates 2, Doctor Strange, Batwoman Rebirth, Green Lanterns, Old Man Logan, Dad’s Weekend (good), and Punisherment (RIP Steve D).
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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #195
July 5th, 2016
RECORD COMPANY MAN, I WON’T BE COMING TO DINNER
Imagine a blurb. A blurb like you’ve never seen. A golden, beautiful blurb that shines like the sun. A blurb that glistens like dew on morning grass. A blurb that sings like the strike of a tuning fork against an angel’s backside. Imagine a blurb like that. That blurb is here. Can you taste it?
<ITEM> It’s the return of The Beast Must Die, joining Gary Lactus for another ker-lassic episode of SILENCE! But wait! What’s this? It’s also a Bobsy episode! A Bobs-isode!
<ITEM>There’s some admin and a whole load of My Two Dads chat. Of course. And some self-promotion for the our sister and brother podcasts Diane and The Earth-Pig Diaries. And news of our various appearances at Small Press Day 2016
<ITEM>Three men in a Reviewniverse? It’s a king-size edition with more digressions than you can shake a fully painted graphic novel at. Transformers Vs GI Joe, 4 Kids Walk into a Bank, The Sweetness, Detective Comics, Providence, Beverley Hills Cop II, Bill Sienkiewicz, Midnight of the Soul, All New Avengers, Captain America, Captain Brexit, Sean Phillips, John Smith, Sexy Male Comics Creator Top Trumps, The Sound of Drowning and a whole lot more.
And we are done. Move along people.
Click to download SILENCE!#195
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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #190
May 31st, 2016
SICK ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE TOO, SO COME ON LET’S MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE
He had tried so hard. He had tried harder than any man had ever tried. All he wanted was to be the best at the thing he had trained for so long to best at. The thing he was born to be really good at. It was the only thing he cared about, his reason for living. It was the only thing anyone cared about. The world expected him to be the best there ever was or ever would be at the thing. The weight of the world pushed down on his shoulders as it now looked like he might not be the best at doing a thing. He couldn’t let this happen so he clenched his teeth, making his jaw muscles bulge in and out then he punched a locker and went on to become the best there is at doing the thing. Every day was like this for Tom Cruise.
Right, so this is SILENCE! #190 in which The Beast Must Die had to run off at the last minute for a very important and highly paid assassination leaving Gary Lactus to ask twitter for co hosts. He found:
Johnathan Dick, a nice chap from Virginia who talked Nick Spencer’s Steve Rogers Captain America #1 with Gary.
Al Kennedy from House To Astonish who talked DC Rebirth and Baker Street Peculiars.
The pair of them saved the day really so HOORAY FOR THEM!
It goes like this:
Click to download SILENCE!#190
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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE! #117
October 7th, 2014
FIRST WE’LL DRINK TEA, AND THEN WE’LL FIGHT!
Butch & Sundance, Batman & Robin, Chip ‘n’ Dale, Steptoe & Son..? Fred & Rose? Those are all pairs aren’t they? Okay then that’s done. Can’t think why I was thinking about that.
Anyway, after last week’s spectaculatrix of glam-filled guest star party, it’s the inevitable come down, as the Beast returns from his hollibobs and runs slam bang into the loving arms of Gary Lactus. Well, after some HILARIOUS technical troubles. Just like old times… SILENCE! Just like Mama used to make: Starchy, thin and unsatisfying.
<ITEM> You might be able to make out a bit of celebrity Game of Thrones spotting, and maybe some discussion of Don Henley? In amongst some sponsorshunting of course.
<ITEM> After an abortive first try the boyce make their way into The Reviewniverse, and boy howdy is it just like slipping on yesterday’s undercrackers! Talk of God Hates Asttronauts, Jason Shiga’s Demon, Silver Surfer, The Silence Choir, Mike Allred’s scariness, Walking Dead, Captain America, Fantastic Four Annual Men Of Wrath, and a bunch more stuff. Heck the boys even come up smiling for some Twin Peaks bubbling.
<ITEM> So let’s knuckle down for the crunch, open your aureoles and get SILENCING!
Click to download SILENCE!#117
Contact us:
si************@gm***.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
The Winter Soldier: Captain America 2, reviewed!
May 7th, 2014
Captain America: The Winter Soldier, directed by Joe and Anthony Russo, starring Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson and Anthony Mackie, brought to you by the power vested in me by the great state of Wyoming
While I will surprise approximately no one by saying that the action in this movie was nowhere near as inventive and exciting as the violence that gives The Raid 2 its reason to exist, this movie still confounded my expectations by impressing me more with competence than raw thrillpower.
SILENCE! #94
February 24th, 2014
CURSE SIR WALTER RALEIGH HE WAS SUCH A STUPID GET
<ITEM>Far too busy with everybody in the House of Love, Mister Must Die can’t make it this week, leaving macrosexual space god Sir Gareth of Lactus all a-lonesome to present and perfect this most recent edition of SILENCE! (it’s number ninety-four) all by hisself!…
<ITEM>….Not really! Unforch, bobsy didn’t have anything better to do, lo this Monday’s eve, so at the merest prompt went slinking back to Gary’s spaceship like an abused shihtzu to talk comics with the oversize eidolon for the first time in ever such a long.
<ITEM> Spectacularly failing to get an easy rapport going, Gaz and bobz circle warily for a while before the less than welcome interloper rants about the recent not-cancellation of the much needed Regular Show comic. It’s her birthday this week! Have a heart!
<ITEM> And then, en route to the reviewniverse, our enervated excrementalists pause to prattle about a few recently encountered graphic novels (bit like comics, to hell with the kids, kids) including See More Warts’ Divine Comedy, Brighton: The Graphic Novel by the much loved Various, Blexbolex’s Seasons and Will Eisner’s Best of Preventive Maintenance Monthly.
<ITEM> Thencewise into the reviewniverse where Gary talks about his recent floppy issues, including White Suits (except not really), Midas Flesh, Forever Evil Justice League, Wonder Woman, Amazing X-Men, Captain America, Uncanny X-Men, Daredevil and Iron Manual.
<ITEM>We leave the reviewniverse and have a wee at some point, and then are frankly at a total loss, proceeding to ramble for more time than you probably have to spare about in ICAN’TREMEMBER what particular order Comic Convention Rules, Brighton Buses, and Darren!
<ITEM>All this, and much more, and yet also somehow significantly less, await you in this week’s special, low-energy, unappealing late-Feb edition of SILENCE! It’s far from a classic (#classic), for which I can only apologise.
<ITEM> Catch you later William and Theodore!
Contact us:
si************@gm***.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@darrensherrell
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.