Mindless Ones

 

HHKHRrrrhhhHtttchhhhh…HHHHWWWWRAAALLLPPPSSH

*kaff*

Sorry. Had to clear that hairball. That’ll teach me to lick Lockjaw’s blanket.

Hoo-hah! It’s only anuvver faakin’ SILENCE! innit bruv? With those two town gadaboouts Gary Lactus and the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Beast Must Die! Double barrelled. You are the quarry.

<ITEM> Admin, admin, ‘oo wants admin? Featuring  Dadmin, and Paul Reiser’s autobiography?

<ITEM> Tales of Halloween, with The Beast Must Die and Lord Nuneaton Savage’s horror marathon. Featuring Rituals, Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight and The Comeback.

<ITEM> SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started features Gary Lactus on Thor: Ragnarok and TBMD on Wonder Woman. Films mate. We shit ’em.

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse opens it’s greedy maw and welcomes the pair in to talk some honest to goodness comics. Including The Lakes Festival Spirit Special, Black Crown Quarterly, CUD: The comic, Mister Miracle, Philippa Rice’s Soppy and probably some other stuff as well.

<ITEM> Only 5 items or less in this queue.

@silencepod

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@kellykanayama
[email protected]

I AM ALWAYS HIGH, I AM ALWAYS LOW, THERE IS ALWAYS CHANGE

‘Oo told you to come and see me then? Eric the Mouth was it?  Bloody chancer that Eric, always sendin’ hopeless my cases my way. Finkin’ I got the time to sort out every knoc-kneed tosspot ‘oo comes blinkin’ into my lock up. Oh yeah, course I got a lot of quality gear in this place, all sorts. Got everything you might want actually.  Course there’s a price though in there? What kind of businessman would I be if I din’t ask for a proper price? So you seen what you need ave ya…? Yeah, thought you might’a done. No, no, you put yer wallet away. Don’t want cash for what I’m sellin’, no no. I want something a bit more precious. Bit more valuable.

If you get my drift?

<ITEM> Welcome listenoids, to the newest, chewiest, brouhaha that is SILENCE! The Beast Must Die & Gary Lactus are here to bring you nourishing comics podcasting to see you through this warm, sticky patch.

<ITEM> Sponsorships set out on the choppy seas of Admin, looking to bring us back treats and treasures. Also: The Mini-Beast Speaks!

<ITEM> SILENCE!…Because The Film Has Started, with Gary Lactus weeping actual tears for the kindness in Wonder Woman‘s heart. Also, The Beast talks up Twin Peaks: The Return, in particular Laura Dern.

<ITEM> Finally it’s time to squeeze our svelte figures into the tight-fitting lycra of The Reviewniverse. Comics covered include Slasher, Jimmy’s Bastards, Dark Days: The Forges, DKIII: The Master Race, Black Hammer, Bug, Squirrel Girl, Peter Bagge’s Sweat Shop and more, oh so very much more…

<ITEM> Finally we have I Recky-mend by The Beast, with the Tony Law episode of The Comedican’s Comedian. 

And then we’re done, like old slow dog’s lying in the sun.

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@kellykanayama
[email protected]

FOR THE RIGHT TO BE GOVERNED, WASTE THEM WITHOUT MERCY

As our (pretend) close personal confidant Luke Haines will tell you, “it’s not for God’s love/ it’s not for cocaine,” which are the only two extremes on the religion-80s drugs scale.

Of course it’s not, you dirty heathens! It’s for COMICS.

All-inclusive SILENCE!, the comics podcast that makes you listen to ladies etc sometimes. Gary Lactus is joined by emergency guest Maid of Nails all the way from the Razor House in darkest Caledonia, who like any other Strong Female Character can talk massive amounts of shit just like Them Goize.

<ITEM>Comedy, maternal pop culture reviews, we’ve got it all. Find out whose mother really wants to hear more about the Ents, and exactly how to catch Gary Lactus’ comedy show in London.

<ITEM>The Reviewniverse spawns chat of Judge Dredd,  2000AD, Wolverine Goes To Japan On His Gap Year, Nighthawk, Bitch Planet,  Civil War II, The Ultimates,  Wicked And Divine, Wonder Woman, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Auaman, Punisher,  All Star Section 8 and some talk of the Preacher TV show thing.

<ITEM>Watch out for the Nipple Collector

Click to download SILENCE!#194

MY MINIATURE KINGDOM, MY KING-SIZE EGO

…and the thing is, you should have seen the size of the bleeder’s head! Like a bloomin’ bit of roast beef it was, with all these filthy mouths full of doll’s teeth…snapping they were, just all snapping! And the way it moved! Like a film running back it was, like some awful old film… and the smell! Like a flippin’ abbatoir that someone had sprayed with perfume…sickening it was, sickening!

I tell you. Last time I go internet dating.

<ITEM> HOO-HAH! It’s only a brand new SILENCE! up in your grill with a boatload of sass and a pocketful of attitude. So join The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus as they take you on a journey into: the internet’s ONLY comics podcast

<ITEM> Bit of preamble ramble, some uewd and rude Sponsorship, plus a bit of promotion for Gary Lactus’ London gig.

<ITEM> Behold! The Reviewniverse! In all it’s many angled glory. There’s some DC Rebirth fun, with The Flash, Detective Comics, Wonder Woman and Aquaman. There’s The Fix, All New All Sexy Avengers, The Vision and a whole mess more

<ITEM> But wait! It’s the Beast’s Bargain Basement with Alan Moore’s Majestic one-shot, Eddie Campbell’s Deadface and the 1991 Judge Dredd Mega Special.

<ITEM> Cheeky review of the ill-fated Fantastic Four movie? Don’t mind if I do.

More? More? Listen Oliver Twist, take your ‘more’ and shove it right up your

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

Click to download SILENCE!#192

I don’t get to the comic shop as often now as I used to.

THESE ARE THE FABLES ON MY STREET

It’s Oscar season! You know, that season where it’s okay to  hunt people called Oscar! But before you run and grab your pistols, shotguns and catapults, why don’t you rest up for a while and take in the latest podstravaganza from the Dempsey & Makepeace of podcasting, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die! The podcast is SILENCE!, the time is now and the trousers are TIGHT! Too tight as a matter of fact…I’m seeing lights. Take me to the lights…take me now….

<ITEM> It’s a fist-sized portion of sponsorship, with the usual subjects, and some lovely jingles for some of the dearest of dear listeners. Oh and they talk about ancient ITV gameshow 3,2,1, because, y’know, comics.

<ITEM>  The Reviewniverse opens it’s welcoming arms and the boys take it’s embrace. Synergy, cosmic oneness and all that aul shoite…Multiversity: Mastermen, Silver Surfer, Affordable Amazement Catalogue, The Sound of Drowning, 2000AD, Rumble, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Wonder Woman, Hawkeye, and Frank Miller’s Holy Terror all come between the crosshairs.

<ITEM> The final item! Goodbye!

Click to download SILENCE!#132

Contact us:
[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.

TEENAGE CAVEMAN, ROCK WITH SKIN AND BONE!

So Gary Lactus, a The Beast Must Die and a Bobsy walk into a bar…and then they ordered everyone else of said bar, in order to record a podcast. Shortly after the podcast was finished recording the enraged bar patrons stormed back in and threw the three stringy upstarts out into the gutter, as a lifetime of reading comics had left them milky of complexion and frail of frame. Certainly not strong enough to stand up to a bunch of gammon-faced alcoholics with nothing to live for. Nonetheless the outcome is 2 hours of comics podcast magicccckks…let’s all go SILENCE!

<ITEM> There’s a ramblicious opening salvo with sponsorshunting, and a selection pack of tangential conversations… but out of the morass comes a single ringing plea..BUY CINDY & BISCUIT!

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse opens it’s hallowed doors to welcome The Grant Morrison Apologist Society Annual General Meeting starts here, as the boys go long for a discussion of the really quite good Multiversity: Pax Americana. Much too chew on, and chew they do…woo hoo!

<ITEM> More Moz, as they careen into the void of Annihilator, before carrying onto X-Force, X-Men, Wonder Woman, Punk Mambo, Harley Quinn, Wytches, Intersect, and the weirdly divisive True Stories from Derf…there’s a bit of chat about Supreme Blue Rose, Zero, Loki: Agent of Axis and more…

Have a great time y’all. And watch out for the Jibblers!

Click to download SILENCE!#123

Contact us:

[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

 CURSE SIR WALTER RALEIGH HE WAS SUCH A STUPID GET

<ITEM>Far too busy with everybody in the House of Love, Mister Must Die can’t make it this week, leaving macrosexual space god Sir Gareth of Lactus all a-lonesome to present and perfect this most recent edition of SILENCE! (it’s number ninety-four) all by hisself!…

<ITEM>….Not really! Unforch, bobsy didn’t have anything better to do, lo this Monday’s eve, so at the merest prompt went slinking back to Gary’s spaceship like an abused shihtzu to talk comics with the oversize eidolon for the first time in ever such a long.

<ITEM> Spectacularly failing to get an easy rapport going, Gaz and bobz circle warily for  a while before the less than welcome interloper rants about the recent not-cancellation of the much needed Regular Show comic. It’s her birthday this week! Have a heart!

<ITEM> And then, en route to the reviewniverse, our enervated excrementalists pause to prattle about a few recently encountered graphic novels (bit like comics, to hell with the kids, kids) including See More Warts’ Divine Comedy, Brighton: The Graphic Novel by the much loved Various, Blexbolex’s Seasons and Will Eisner’s Best of Preventive Maintenance Monthly.

<ITEM> Thencewise into the reviewniverse where Gary talks about his recent floppy issues, including White Suits (except not really), Midas Flesh, Forever Evil Justice League, Wonder Woman, Amazing X-Men, Captain America, Uncanny X-Men,  Daredevil and Iron Manual.

<ITEM>We leave the reviewniverse and have a wee at some point, and then are frankly at a total loss, proceeding to ramble for more time than you probably have to spare about in ICAN’TREMEMBER what particular order Comic Convention Rules, Brighton Buses, and Darren!

<ITEM>All this, and much more, and yet also somehow significantly less, await you in this week’s special, low-energy, unappealing late-Feb edition of SILENCE! It’s far from a classic (#classic), for which I can only apologise.

<ITEM> Catch you later William and Theodore!

Click to download SILENCE!#94

Contact us:

[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@darrensherrell

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

One of the jokes that the other Mindless Ones have about me is that while I often complain about not having written enough, I’m ridiculously productive (I write two or three books a year, on average). They only make this joke because unlike me, they don’t know Phil Sandifer.

Phil recently released TARDIS Eruditorum vol 4, the fourth volume of his look at every Doctor Who TV story (and many of the books and audios), A Golden Thread, a critical history of Wonder Woman, Last War In Albion Chapter Four, the latest in a series of short ebooks charting the parallel careers of Grant Morrison and Alan Moore, and Flood, a book in the 33 ⅓ series, in which he and co-author S. Alexander Reed look at the classic They Might Be Giants album.

And by recently, I mean in the last two months. He might have released something else since I made that list — I haven’t looked since lunchtime.

Much, though not all, of his work is serialised on www.philipsandifer.com (where I’ll be doing a guest post next week on Final Crisis, incidentally) and readers of Mindless Ones will, I’m sure, find it worth checking out.

Read the interview