Mindless Ones

MY MINIATURE KINGDOM, MY KING-SIZE EGO

…and the thing is, you should have seen the size of the bleeder’s head! Like a bloomin’ bit of roast beef it was, with all these filthy mouths full of doll’s teeth…snapping they were, just all snapping! And the way it moved! Like a film running back it was, like some awful old film… and the smell! Like a flippin’ abbatoir that someone had sprayed with perfume…sickening it was, sickening!

I tell you. Last time I go internet dating.

<ITEM> HOO-HAH! It’s only a brand new SILENCE! up in your grill with a boatload of sass and a pocketful of attitude. So join The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus as they take you on a journey into: the internet’s ONLY comics podcast

<ITEM> Bit of preamble ramble, some uewd and rude Sponsorship, plus a bit of promotion for Gary Lactus’ London gig.

<ITEM> Behold! The Reviewniverse! In all it’s many angled glory. There’s some DC Rebirth fun, with The Flash, Detective Comics, Wonder Woman and Aquaman. There’s The Fix, All New All Sexy Avengers, The Vision and a whole mess more

<ITEM> But wait! It’s the Beast’s Bargain Basement with Alan Moore’s Majestic one-shot, Eddie Campbell’s Deadface and the 1991 Judge Dredd Mega Special.

<ITEM> Cheeky review of the ill-fated Fantastic Four movie? Don’t mind if I do.

More? More? Listen Oliver Twist, take your ‘more’ and shove it right up your

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

Click to download SILENCE!#192

AN EVENING OF FUN IN THE METROPOLIS OF YOUR DREAM

Ninjas, ninjas, who wants ninjas? I got ninjas mate, ninjas coming out the wazzoo. Ninjas here, ninjas there, farkin’ ninjas everywhere mate. Sick o’ bleedin’ ninjas I am, tryin’ to offload the LOT of ’em…tell ya what mate, you take this lot off my ‘ands and I’ll chuck in this lovely watch. Solid adamantium that is mate, worth a flippin’ bomb. Tough as you like that is…

GETCHER NINJAS ‘ERE!

<ITEM> Welcome Dear Listeners, to the internet’s most cherished comics podcast, SILENCE! with that couple of nation’s sweethearts The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus.

<ITEM> It’s some record level admin, with sponsorship, Arrested Development as Watchmen, Daredevil Season 2, The Phantasmacats and the Galacticats, The SILENCE! News covering Civil War 2, Donald Trump and the Mark Millar-isation of modern culture, The Edinburgh Festival, Misery, SILENCE!…Because the Film Has Started with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and unbelievably a whole lot more…while somehow there being so much less…

<ITEM> Finally the Reviewniverse coughs, splutters and belches into life, with Spiderwoman, Huck, The Vision and Turn Coat.

<ITEM> One Vision…that’s all I can say really.

YOUR THIN PAPER WINGS, IN THE WIND, DANGLING

Roll the dice – move forward 4 steps. You find yourself at the clearing of a large empty podcast. To your right are some dense opinion shrubs. To the left a bubbling pool of judgments. Roll the dice – you decide to ignore both and move forward 8 paces towards the giant floating skull in the centre of the clearing. Roll the dice – you ask it a question: “Where am I?” The skull opens it’s mouth and with a terrifying ear-splitting screech it tells you…”SILENCE!”

Contact us:

si************@gm***.com

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

“TELL THEM ABOUT THE TWINKIE…”

“WHAT ABOUT THE TWINKIE?”

YO HO HO and a bottle of meths – it’s time for SILENCE!, the rough podcast, its hour come round at last, that slouches towards Bethlehem! Yaaay! I knew that English Degree would come in useful…

The Beast and Gary Lactus bring you all the usual half-baked treats straight from the dutch oven…treats such as: The SILENCE! News (featuring insight!), and Lactus pathetically pleads with Dear Listener to look at his stupid film. Then there’s full and hearty discussions of such 4-colour wonders like Fraction and A-Ha’s Hawkeye no.2, Action no.0, Dial H no.0, Animal Man no.0, Dan the Unharmable, Fashion Beast (with a brief detour into McLaren’s Ghosts of Oxford Street and Grant Morrison’s Sick Buildings), Sweet Tooth, and Amazing Spiderman. Grand!

The SILENT Question comes from robotic miseryguts The Vision, and the answer involves Lockjaw, Aquaman and tangentially the absolutely wonderful Batman: Brave & The Bold cartoon.

Then Lactus takes us to the movies (and tries to fondle us in the back seat) and reviews DREDD! 3D!

Finally The Beast directs us to the great blog Suggested For Mature Readers, and recalls Miracleman: The Golden Age, Gaiman’s finest hour. Oh and tells you to pick up the Prophet and Glory trades, quick smart!

Uptown, top ranking!

click to download SILENCE!#30

I LIKE LOU REED SHE SAID, STICKING HER TONGUE IN MY EAR!

Well now, if it isn’t those meddling kids…I thought I told you to stay away from this here haunted podcast! Welcome gentle listenoids to SILENCE! no.29, the podcast that, like Michael Bolton, is asking to touch you there. Join Gary Lactus and the Virtual 3D Godhead The Beast Must Die as they lead you skipping through The SILENCE News (with kittens and trolls), before immersing themselves into the depths of…comics.

They have a sobering time with Steve Gerber’s comics swansong Infernal Man-Thing no.3, a West country wade through Mudman no.5, and the usual fun with Prophet and Axe Cop. Then Lactus pulls up his britches and smashes headfirst into Man Vs Comics, covering Wolverine & The X-Men, FF, Avenging Spiderman, Justice League, AVX Vs, National Comics: Looker, The JLI Annual (with a digression into Tromaville). He also has nice things to say about The New Deadwardians.

The Beast’s Bargain Basment takes in Eddie Campbell’s Alec, in particular the King Canute Crowd which involves a fair amount of wistful musings from the Beast. There’s a special Silent Question from that cosmic beatnik The Silver Surfer, and the answers involve The Shadow, Cosmic Boy, Goliath, The Question and Dr Fate.

Then there’s a brief discussion of the new series of Dr Who, and then it’s into the home stretch and off to bed. That’s some good eatin’ (listening) for ya. That’s SILENCE!

click to download SILENCE!#29

Click below for a picture of the Vision in a turtleneck…

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