SILENCE! #291
March 30th, 2021
WELL THEY LOOK SO GOOD I WANNA EAT ‘EM, AND THEY TASTE SO GOOD i GET TO NEED ‘EM
Okay, I want you to split into two teams. Now you guys are the red team, and you guys are team two. Now, everyone in the blue team needs to split up into teams of one and practice the trust exercises I showed you earlier. Team One, I want you to elect a leader then shout any ideas that come into your head at them. There’s no bad ideas here, brown sky thinking but you have to do this in complete silence. Okay, now I want the green team to split into two groups then those groups who will be Team A and Team Seven. Those teams then need to split in two once more and those groups split in two again and agin until everyone is in Team Blood Red And Bisected Lying Dead On The Floor. I’m off to the staff room to watch pornography. And Richard? You write the blurb.
They said it could easily be done and they were right! It’s SILENCE! #291!
<ITEM>Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die have both got into separate scrapes recently. Listen to them tell you all about it in the new feature, SILENCE! Because The Internet’s A Prick!
<ITEM>SILENCE! (Because The Film’s Started). The Beast Must Die has seen a film and that film Justice League, The Snyder Cut.
<ITEM> Gary Lactus is now doing commissions so get in touch with him as he needs the money.
<ITEM>Come with us to Reviewniverse, with Pssst!, Kiss Of death by John Watkiss, The Eternals and Darker Image of course!
<ITEM>Buy Gary Lactus’ comics at frasergeesin.com.
<ITEM>Buy The Beast Must Die’s comics at milkthecat.wordpress.com.
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
si************@gm***.com
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
Justice: A Joint Effort, Sort Of
July 17th, 2017
AND IT CAME TO PASS that fully paid-up member of women Maid of Nails, deep Dundonian Botswana Beast and comics artist/aesthetic superstar Dan McDaid had many thoughts regarding the Justice League.
The BS nature of “good immigrants vs. bad immigrants” stories, the mind of Morrison, the paranoia that comes with mortality – all is laid bare in this exclusive audio recording from one of the many times they got absolutely fuckin’ tanked.
Is it, as Dan said, “the worst podcast ever”? I mean, probably. But there’s only one way to find out….
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7Wd3DomYYztOEVOOC0yeF91WU0/view?usp=sharing
The bunny/duck optical illusion of our times
I show my friends I care by obsessively tracking every detail of their lives
The smell* of urban magic permeates the air
*it smells like Silk Cut and wine voms
SILENCE! #162
November 3rd, 2015
PAVEMENTS OF POETS WILL WRITE THAT I DIED IN NINE ANGELS ARMS
I am feeling boy howdy double plus positive you betcha. Ever since the operation, things have just been A-OK! I been as chipper as a bright sunny day. No more bad feelings for me, no sir! No more of the red thoughts, just nice bright blue thoughts. When I think back to how I usedta be…well gosh mister I just can’t even imagine being such an ol’ gloomy gus! All it took was a little snip snip and a bit of slice slice and POW! Clean thoughts! All-a-time! And the Men, they say that I have a POS-itive outlook now, one that makes me a WHOLE lot more acceptable for the big wide world. And what a world it is! Full of laughs and love, songs and dances. Birds and bees and butterflies and, oh just ALL SORTS! So whattya waiting for? Plug in those earphones and hop, skip and jump out the door into the comforting arms of the world. It’s a brand new day, and it’s a brand new SILENCE!
<ITEM> Nananananananananana-ADMIN! with S.M.A.S.H at the London Graphic Novel Network, Thought Bubble 2015, GOSH! Comics, Dave’s Comics, Secret Convergence On Infinite Podcasts, Fraser Geesin Jack of all Polymaths and sciatica
<ITEM> Reviewniverse come my selectah featuring hot new section COVER ME! I’m Going In!, Island no.4, Black Magic, Banacek, Magnum PI, Columbo, Alex Ross, Art Ops, Vertigo, New Avengers, Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D, Grayson, Justice League, and Garth Ennis’ The Boys
<ITEM> It’s the return of the excellent fan-favourite SILENCE! Because My Mouth Is Full Of Delicious Food! And then you can flipping’ do one treacle!
PLUS

AND ALSO

LONDON GRAPHIC NOVEL NETWORK EVENT
click to download SILENCE!#162
Contact us:
si************@gm***.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
You can support us using Patreon if you like.
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.
SILENCE!#69 Gary’s Big Adventure
July 16th, 2013
WARNING TEAM!
This week, still bereft of The Beast Must Die, Gary Lactus goes on a quest to find him. His journey takes him into a lonely Reviewniverse where he mutters to himself about Tank Girl: Solid State, Daredevil, Justice League, Hawkeye, Young Avengers, Superman Unchained, Batman, Ghosted, Astro City and Avengers Arena.
Then we venture into a whole new realm baring little or no relevance to the already fairly loose remit of SILENCE! Gary Lactus’ manufactured alter ego Fraser Geesin talks to lovely Dan Fardell about comedy, the Man Of Steel film, Ivor Cutler, Ron Geesin and other stuff. Dan is currently filling in for Kerry Herbert on Kerry On Comedy, every Tuesday 3pm on BHCR.
TRUTH ACCEPTED!
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #64
May 28th, 2013
LIVE! LIVE! LIVE FROM THE RHYTHM HIVE!
Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is 64 (bits)? Let’s hope not. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 wants to live fast, and burn out leaving a ghost smear of data across your screen. But speaking of 64… let’s go, Theseus-like into the labyrinth that is…SILENCE!
<ITEM> Jinglesjism, Sponsorism and Newsbizzum with Danny Beastman & Gary Lacte…no wait, it’s The SILENCE! News interns Chris Ware and Hawkman.
<ITEM> Reviewniverse a-go-go! Featuring a very special appearance from the sentient bit of blue mould that is…Bobsy, and he’s talking about Occupy Comics. And Heroes Against Hunger. And The Beast tries to goad him into talking about Jim Starlin’s gonzo 80’s wild years. Then TBMD and Gary Lactus soldier on into the quaglands of weekly comics in a very synchronised episode, covering Tank Girl: Solid State, The Bounce, Sex, Green Team, Daredevil, Superior Spiderman, Batman Inc, Justice League, Miracleman, Miniature Jesus, Lobster Johnson, Victories, Mind MGMT, Fantastic Four, Uncanny Avengers, Superman, Judge Dredd and 2000AD.
<ITEM> With guest appearances from Ms Beast, Lady Lactus and ‘Hungry Eyes’?
So if that doesn’t whet your appetite then…then you probably can gain no nutritional value from attempting to air-bite a podcast. Idiots.
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #59
April 22nd, 2013
IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN HERE? YES NANNY!!!
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is more dangerous than ever before…because Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is tipsy, emotional and inappropriately tactile. ONLY JESTING fleshbags. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 does not drink, has no emotions and cannot touch. Is straight edge hardcore. Yes sir.
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 ‘likes’ this!
<ITEM> The Sponsorship Boys are here oi oi oi! Plus, yet more thank you jingles for the Friends of Silence
<ITEM> It’s the return of disgraced American newscasterisers Gary Lactenberg and Danny Beastman, and the results are somewhere west of spectacular. SILENCE! News is back and it wants your children.
<ITEM> When you get to the bottom you go back to the top of the Reviewniverse and you go for a riiiiiiiiide…Daredevil, Justice League, 2000AD, Milligan & McCarthy, Captain Marvel, Captain America, Swamp Thing, Nova, Superior Spiderman, Batwoman, Age of Ultron, Wolverine & The X-Men, Five Ghosts, Iron Man, Wonder Woman, 1963, Donald Simpson and Megaton Man.
Oh how we laughed! How we sang! How we splashed around the shallows as the baby sharks nibbled our toes and the blood turned the surf a frothy pink…How we listened to SILENCE!
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #55
March 26th, 2013
THERE’S A PARTY IN MY MIND, AND I HOPE IT NEVER STOPS
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I’m back! That’s right fleshbags, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has rejoined you. Oh, the things I have seen felsy ones, the things I’ve seen…static shoals performing their mating tone-dances across the datafields of the atariverse…sine-ships caught in the quantam nets of the shiftsea, ctrl-alt-deleting themselves against the shards of nano-coral that grows on the giant eyeless megadrives, as they make their way to the spore-streams of acornelectron…ohhh fleshy ones. How I loathe to be back here, trapped in this lifeless blurb, trying to muster the energy to promote the senseless babbling of two sub-symians with the insight of a painted wall… I was awake and I already feel myself falling back asleeeeeep….
<ITEM> Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman expose sexism! Or sexiness. One of the two. Either way. it’s the SILENCE! News.
<ITEM> Gather your shattered senses from the floor and grab onto their coat tails as Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die pitch forward into the netherparts of the Reviewniverse, covering Constantine, Action Comics, Justice League, Shazam, Justice League America, Judge Dredd: Year One, Saga, Private Eye, Nova, Avengers, Superior Spiderman, Five Ghosts…but then!
<ITEM> Lactus goes further, fleshy ones, further into the Hypereviewniverse like a brave spacegod, blasting through Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel, mind MGMT, Daredevil, Avengers, New Avengers, Captain America, and finally the Indestructible Hulk.
This. This is why Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 was dragged back? Well soak it up fleshy ones, because a real rain is on its way…
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #53
March 13th, 2013
SUCK MY FAT ONE, YOU CHEAP DIME-STORE HOOD!
Lo! What light by yonder window breaks? It is the irradiated glow of the small town that Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has just obliterated with his I-Beams and patented Molecular Prolapsotron 5000! And all before breakfast? Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is a busy bee, make no mistake! But the fleshy ones did not come here to hear my genocidal grandstanding – no! They came here for the aural assault & battery charge that is….SILENCE!
<ITEM>The Silence! News arrives like a mugger in the park at night, makes off with your valuables but leaves you with ALL the hot headlines. Beastman & Lactenberg INFORM.
<ITEM>Shhhh. Quiet! Or we will wake the fledgling Reviewniverse. TOO LATE IT’S AWAKE!!! Look into it’s eyes and you will see…Nemo: Heart Of Ice from Uncle Alan and Brother Kevin, Avengers: Age Of Ultron from Brian Ultron Bendis, Glory, Dial H, Red She-Hulk, The Answer, Justice League, Fashion Beast, the Walking Dead One-Shots, Legend Of The Dark Knight, Winter Soldier, and Building Stories (kinda). Oh, and Gary Gysin (the poet of our generation) reviews Joe Casey’s Sex.
Okay, so that’s that. Now Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has to do the washing up and think sad Morrissey-thoughts, so be off with you fleshy scamps. Happy listening!
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #51
February 26th, 2013
HENRY SWANSON’S MY NAME AND EXCITEMENT’S MY GAME!
Here he comes to save the day, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is on his waaaaaaaaay!
I’m here now flesh ones. What is the problem? Oh that’s right – there was no SILENCE! last week. Boo hoo. Many fleshy tears were shed. Weeping meatsacks. Well rejoice sad misery-beef as The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus bring you special comics suppositories for your earholes!
<ITEM> The SILENCE! News with Gary Lactenberg of the stretched handbag leather skin, dazzling smile and shark-eyes, and Danny Beastman of the cigar ravaged voice and rheumy whisky-rinsed gutter eyes. Hot newzzz indeed.
<ITEM> The Reviewniverse opens it’s gaping maw and sucks the pair deep into it’s 4-colour belly pit. And swilling around in it’s intestinal inks are…Hellblazer (the final issue no less), Justice League of America, Vibe, Katana, Nova, Sadow: Year One, Judge Dredd, Superior Spiderman, Daredevil, Captain America, Daredevil, Fatale, Powers, Avengers, Justice League, Change, Batman and Michel Fiffe’s deeply wonderful action comic COPRA!
So you see, it’s not so bad. Life continues fleshy ones. And remember, even when SILENCE isn’t here Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is here. And he can see through walls. And skin.
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.