Mindless Ones

WELL THEY LOOK SO GOOD I WANNA EAT ‘EM, AND THEY TASTE SO GOOD i GET TO NEED ‘EM

Okay, I want you to split into two teams. Now you guys are the red team, and you guys are team two. Now, everyone in the blue team needs to split up into teams of one and practice the trust exercises I showed you earlier. Team One, I want you to elect a leader then shout any ideas that come into your head at them. There’s no bad ideas here, brown sky thinking but you have to do this in complete silence. Okay, now I want the green team to split into two groups then those groups who will be Team A and Team Seven. Those teams then need to split in two once more and those groups split in two again and agin until everyone is in Team Blood Red And Bisected Lying Dead On The Floor. I’m off to the staff room to watch pornography. And Richard? You write the blurb.

They said it could easily be done and they were right!  It’s SILENCE! #291!

<ITEM>Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die have both got into separate scrapes recently.  Listen to them tell you all about it in the new feature, SILENCE! Because The Internet’s A Prick!

<ITEM>SILENCE! (Because The Film’s Started). The Beast Must Die has seen a film and that film Justice League, The Snyder Cut.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus is now doing commissions so get in touch with him as he needs the money.

<ITEM>Come with us to Reviewniverse, with Pssst!, Kiss Of death by John Watkiss, The Eternals and Darker Image of course!

<ITEM>Buy Gary Lactus’ comics at frasergeesin.com.

<ITEM>Buy The Beast Must Die’s comics at milkthecat.wordpress.com.

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

In the beginning there was the word. Prior to that there was the introduction. Since the dawn of time immemorial began throughout history, the introduction has introduced readers to stories that have introduced us to the power of stories. What dark truths lie in the stories we tell our children? Powerful, dark truths that’s what. Hadn’t thought about that had you? You’re welcome.

Neil Gaiman
East Grinstead
April 1988

It is my pleasure and honour to introduce this podcast by my good friend The Beast Must Die. When I was introduced to The Beast Must Die as a schoolboy, little did I know that 30 years later I would be introducing his Magnum opus. This podcast will introduce the lister to The Beast’s unique relationship to introductions, covering curated TV broadcasts of films such as Alex Cox‘s introductions to Movie Drome and what introductions meant to him as a youngster reading graphic novels for the first time. He goes on to cover Alan Moore‘s introduction to The Dark Knight Returns, Pat Mills‘ introduction to the Titan edition of Nemesis Book 7 by Mills himself and John Hicklenton, Zenith Book 2 introduced by Grant Morrison, Frank Miller‘s introduction to Batman Year One, Morrison’s introduction to Peter Milligan and Duncan Fegredo’s Enigma and Milligan’s introduction to Morrison’s Invisibles.
Oh yes, and Neil Gaiman‘s dominance in the world of introductions. So, without further ado, I invite you to “hey listen” to the master scholar of all that comes before everything.

Gary Lactus
North Portslade
April 2020

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

THERE’S A BOX FULL OF SHOWER-GELS, I’VE LEFT AROUND THE WORLD

It’s SILENCE!, there’s no need to be afraid
At SILENCE!, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at SILENCE!
But say a prayer, pray for the other ones
At SILENCE! it’s hard, but when you’re having fun
There’s a world outside your window
And it’s a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you
And there won’t be snow in Africa this SILENCE!
The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it’s SILENCE! at all?
Here’s to you
Raise a glass for everyone
Here’s to them
Underneath that burning sun
Do they know it’s SILENCE! at all?
Eat the world
Eat the world
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again

<ITEM> INSERT FESTIVE! It’s the SILENCE! XMAS DING-DONG CRACKErJACK SPECTACULAR! AND YOU’RE ALL INVITED! Lock the door…they’re in now.

<ITEM> Well we’re all feeling very festive indeed aren’t we? Yes we are. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not there can be no uncertainty that the geese are gaining weight. So put a Yule log on the radiator and cosy up for 2+ hours of comics-adjacent chat with your pals The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus!

<ITEM> Inside this overstuffed figgy pudding of an episode you’re going to find the following: The Christmas Chronicles, The Immortal Hulk, Enjoyable Conversations in Glasgow bu David Kerr, Hard Boiled, Safari Honeymoon, 2000AD prog 2111, Best of lists, My Two Dads 600, Bat-Thing, Driving Britain, Secret Cosmic Heroes of Infinite Crisis…of the Gods, Doomsday Cock and a whole lot more

<ITEM> Who is…what is…The House of Ideas??

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

GUEST BLURB WRITTEN BY OUR FRENCH EXCHANGE STUDENT

My name is Gary. I am twelve years old. I live in Brighton. I have two cats. I like pop music but I love rock music. I live in a house. I hate classical music. At the weekend I play table football with my friend Jean Pierre. I enjoy swimming in the swimming pool. In my bedroom I have posters of pop musicians. I like reading comics.

SILENCE! #228 is a right old state on a plate, mate as Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die reconvene with reports on the new Pat Mills novel, Serial Killers plus ICE Brighton and MCM London, (they’re no Thought Bubble).

Then it’s time for some Sadmin as the chaps Bat-bid a fond Bat-farewell to Adam West.

There’s only one place to go from there and that’s The Reviewniverse where Bulletproof Coffin: 1000 Yard Stare, Doctor Strange, Divided States Of Hysteria, Rocket and Extremity with a couple of brief thoughts on All New Guardians Of The Galaxy, Saga and Kaijumax

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@kellykanayama
[email protected]

“What’s the podcast full of chat

That’s made for  you and me?

It’s S-I-L-E-N-C-E!

Hey there, Hi there, ho there you’re as welcome as can be

It’s S-I-L-E-N-C-E!

SIII-I-LENCE! SIII-I-LENCE!

Forever hold our graphic novels high, high, high!

SII-I-ILEN…”

*ca-click* BLAM!

Ahhhh. Silence.

<ITEM> Why what’s this? Not just one, but TWO special guests on this special guesticode? For sheezy! None other than old skool classic Mindless One, Botswana Beast, but returning sparring partner Maid of Nails are here, joining ol’ Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die for this latest installment of 4-colour digressions and mega-ramblings.

<ITEM> Sponsorship, maybe some cat stuff and of course the usual digressions.

<ITEM> A Reviewniverse 4-way?? Yikes, this one’s gonna hurt! Tackled are Grant Morrison’s Wonder Woman: Earth One and it’s a nice deep dive that also takes on Sensation Comics, Beto Hernandez, BDSM, Feminism, Nameless, Doom Patrol, and more. Then we get into The Discipline, Silver Surfer, Gerber and Golden’s Mister Miracle, Judge Dredd, John Wagner, Pat Mills, 2000AD, Garth Ennis’ Enemy Ace, Punisher War Zone, Marvel Unlimited and more more more

So pull up your trousers, get out of the flower beds and settle down for the warming aural-soothe of this latest, greatest edition of SILENCE!

click to download SILENCE!#184

PROFESSOR X TAUGHT  ME BEST, HOW TO LEVITATE SP12’s AT RECESS

I’M CRUSHING YOUR HEAD!

This is it people – the ultimate listening experience you can do with your ears…comics, people, people talking about comics, comics talking about people, people talking about comics again….IT’S ALL HERE! IN SILENCE! no.32!!!

After the usual shit-bubbling from the two half-wits that pass for presenters on this farrago, the SILENCE! News comes and goes like a sex pest in the night, with a digression into Chuck Jones and Pat Mills. With nary a thought to listener safety or interest the podcasteers catapult themselves midrift first into the weeks comics. No muss, no fuss, let’s do this:

James Stokoe’s Godzilla, Justice League! no.0, Daredevil, Jordan Crane’s Uptight, The Shadow, The Walking Dead, Ghost, Revival, AVX: The Avengers, and Nite Owl.

The SILENT Question comes from Frank Castle and the answer involves Jim Woodring’s Frank, Jonny Ryan’s Prison Pit and Zenith: Phase 1.

Lactus reviews his underpants in notcomics, and after that adventrure in undercrackers The Beast talks up Nick Abadzis’ wonderful Hugo Tate collection and recalls Deadline in general. Then there’s a nod towards a fascinating interview with Brit comics mover and shaker, Dave Elliott, and Lactus pimps his wares like the painted French tart he so clearly is, with another Comedy Spot.

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

click to download SILENCE!#32

Before we get going with this, a quick question — I’ve been thinking of releasing this series of posts, when finished (some time next year), as a book. Would anyone actually buy and read such a thing, or is it a bad idea?

I’m asking now, because here is where we head into a totally different realm of Doctor Who. I’ve done sixteen of these posts so far, and there are thirty-three after this. But fourteen of the sixteen previous ones have been about TV shows, with only two (Dr Who And The Daleks and Doctor Who And The Cave Monsters) dealing with non-TV stories. Of the thirty-four stories from 1979 to 2012 I’m dealing with, only fourteen of those essays will be talking about stuff that was actually on TV in those years. Four of them won’t even be about Doctor Who.

Because much of the 23,717 words I’ve done in this series so far has been setup. It’s only now, as we get to the close of the 1970s, that I can really start talking about what I want to talk to. From now on, these essays will be getting much longer, and much less in the “this happened, then this happened” vein. I have things to say. You have been warned…

Everything about Doctor Who changed in 1979, because Doctor Who Weekly started.

SOMEONE’S IN MY FRUIT CELLAR!!!

Ayo, weary traveller, pull up a stool and bathe your stinkin’ dogs in a hot bubbly bath…it’s time for the 15^th edition of SILENCE!, the podcast that is no longer taking prisoners but rather is executing them, Miller’s Crossing-style in the middle of the woods, with just a hat blowing in the breeze for company…

In this very special episode we have a guest appearance from none other than BOBSY MINDLESS who swings by Lactus’ Cosmic Loungeship for a cup of tea and some heavy duty 2000ad chat (including the best Dredd analysis you’ll find on the intywebosphere, and a wholehearted spunking over Zaucer of Zilk and Flesh). But I’m getting ahead of myself! Before that Beast debuts his deeply sensual deep house ballad ‘SATANUS! (Human Flesh)’ and Lactus gives us a taste of his LIVE acoustic singer-songwriter powers with ‘Crossover Classix’. The SILENCE! News comes next in the way that night follows day and vomiting follows Cinzano, with an exciting announcement about SILENCECON 2012!

Then, and only then, the two-time twannies get onto vital topic of COMICS…thank god. They do talk about:

Peter Bagge’s Reset, Saga, Scalped, Fantastic Four (Nazis Win!), Shade, Fury, Hellblazer, and more…

Then Lactus grits his teeth and prepares to receive the soul-punishment that is ‘Crossover Classix with Gary Lactussssss’ and tries gamely to read all the various AVX and Owlfight shit that is being pumped his way. Including discussions of Nightwing, Red Hood and The Outlaws, Catwoman, Avengers Academy, AVX VS…so nothing good basically.

Then The Beast brings back the purple prose with an appreciation of Don McGregor’s Black Panther: ‘Panther’s Rage’ in Beast’s Bargain Basement, and drops in a word about Michel Fiffe’s awesome looking Suicide Squad comic.

All this and a whole hot mess more in the love letter from us that means you’re fucked forever…SILENCE!

click to download