Mindless Ones

In the beginning there was the word. Prior to that there was the introduction. Since the dawn of time immemorial began throughout history, the introduction has introduced readers to stories that have introduced us to the power of stories. What dark truths lie in the stories we tell our children? Powerful, dark truths that’s what. Hadn’t thought about that had you? You’re welcome.

Neil Gaiman
East Grinstead
April 1988

It is my pleasure and honour to introduce this podcast by my good friend The Beast Must Die. When I was introduced to The Beast Must Die as a schoolboy, little did I know that 30 years later I would be introducing his Magnum opus. This podcast will introduce the lister to The Beast’s unique relationship to introductions, covering curated TV broadcasts of films such as Alex Cox‘s introductions to Movie Drome and what introductions meant to him as a youngster reading graphic novels for the first time. He goes on to cover Alan Moore‘s introduction to The Dark Knight Returns, Pat Mills‘ introduction to the Titan edition of Nemesis Book 7 by Mills himself and John Hicklenton, Zenith Book 2 introduced by Grant Morrison, Frank Miller‘s introduction to Batman Year One, Morrison’s introduction to Peter Milligan and Duncan Fegredo’s Enigma and Milligan’s introduction to Morrison’s Invisibles.
Oh yes, and Neil Gaiman‘s dominance in the world of introductions. So, without further ado, I invite you to “hey listen” to the master scholar of all that comes before everything.

Gary Lactus
North Portslade
April 2020

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

I’D LIKE TO THANK MY MOTHER, FOR INVENTING ROCK N’ ROLL

(Extract from Gary’s Diary – a SILENCE! Romance by Aubrey Wilteringfust)

Gary Lactus is a celestial, gigantic and opinionated podcast host from space. His life is going nowhere until he meets The Beast Must Die, a male model-like, hirsute man with a passion for graphique novels.

Gary takes an instant disliking to The Beast and the prestige formatted and fully painted ways he learnt during his years in the internet.

However, when a Dear Listener tries to destroy Gary, The Beast springs to the rescue. Gary begins to notices that The Beast is actually rather half-witted at heart.

But, the pressures of The Beast’s job as a toilet attendant leave him blind to Gary’s affections and Gary takes up comics to try an distract himself.

Finally, when polybag-wrapped audio pan-handler, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 , threatens to come between them, The Beast has to act fast. But will they ever find the SILENCE! love that they deserve?

<ITEM> Admin, admin, who wants admin?? Gary unleashes his and Roberty Boperty’s new superteam  The Gents, featuring Poo-Lord, Slash, HotRod, JizzWizzard, Airblade / Blowhard and The Freshener. THEN the Beast discusses Strontium Dog: The Movie.

<ITEM> Additional Quizzlertron content from listener Tam, so the boys tackle their favourite comic book violence, featuring Zenith, Simon Bisley, Lobo and The Walking Dead

<ITEM> Finally, the duo slip slide into The Reviewniverse and take on Simon Hanselmann’s Life Zone, The Wicked & The Divine, MPH, Original Sin, Batman Eternal, Silver Surfer, Thor: God of Thunder and TMNT: Turtles In Time. Plus Gary looks into the wonders of Marvel AR, the Beast has a rant about Spoiler, and their is a discussion of comic book movies including Turtles, Dick Tracy, Mario Bros, The Shadow and The Phantom.

NO MORE ITEMS. So get back to work you slovenly apes.

Click to download SILENCE!#106

Toodles.
Contact us:

[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

YOU DO YOUR JOB PENCIL-NECK, AND I’LL DO MINE!

He was a tough, embittered Disembodied Ex-Copbot 15735 on the edge, waging a lonely war against a sea of scum and internet indifference…they were a plucky odd-couple of podcasting upstarts with a holster-full of half-baked opinions and a healthy disrespect fro doing things by the book. Add in cute little ginger orphan, a basketball playing dog, Iranian terrorists, time-travel, a hooker with a heart of gold, a show-stopping musical number, nazis, aliens and a sinking ocean liner and you have the MOVIE (comics podcast) OF THE YEAR (week)!

<SCENE 1> Sponsorship admizzle, a rambling account of back issue bin snooping at Krypton Comics (featuring Suicide Squad, Mr X and Lloyd Llewellyn), VHS Rental shops from the eighties and finally an ACTUAL demonic summoning that leads us into…

<SCENE 2> The Reviewniverse! Covering Black Science, Saviors, Miracleman 2, Midas Flesh, Saga, Guardians Of the Galaxy, All New X-Men, Wolverine & The X-Men, Revelutionary War: Knights of Pendragon, George Romero’s Dinner Dance of The Dead

<SCENE 3> Finally it’s new segment…Discussion Point! The twosome take on real world references in comic book worlds, and this scintillating debate takes in Dazzler’s pop career, Marvel Vs DC, The twin Towers, Britney Spears, Zenith, Cloud 9, Robot Archie, Spacehorse & The Teen Riders and more. INTENSE!

It’s the movie event of the Summer! It’s McConaughey back at his hunky best! It’s about time you were afraid to go back in the water! IT’S WALL ST…ON ACID!!!

It’s….SILENCE!

click to download SILENCE!#92

Contact us:

[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

This is us talking about the possibility of a Watchmen prequel/sequel. We then talk a bit then finish with a song. I think by this point we’re all too drunk to be podcasting. By “all” I mean Gary Lactus. Just listen to how drunk the foolish cretin is here:

Click to download
[audio:https://mindlessones.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/MOxmass2011-7.mp3]

idiots.

Hey you!  A bunch of us went to Kapow!  Look!  Proof!

Not the Mindless Ones. Shut up, Lactus

In this first part of our thrilling adventure we have some scene setting from Gary Lactus and a recording of Saturday morning’s 2000AD Panel.

[audio:https://mindlessones.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/kapow-2000ad.mp3]
Click to download

Lady Lactus and myself have recently moved to a larger spaceship.  This was an exciting development as my collection of floppy ephemera had been wrapped tightly in bin liners in the attic of our previous vessel for over two years.  Now I could unleash them all on my unsuspecting shelves!

Let’s tear off that packing tape!

So, it’s cool panel month and weirdly enough, because we are twins and have teh BRAINPOWERZ, Zom and I reached exactly the same conclusion regarding the panel we’d focus on next. And then we duked it out PSIKICK-BOLT style for who would get to do it.

Needless to say, I won.

Imagine Daniel-san’s special crane move – the one that finshes off that bruiser prick at the end of Karate Kid (but HAPPENING TO YOUR MIND) – and you’ve got the gist of what I mean right there. No contest.

You’ve taken the thing – there’s no going back now…