Mindless Ones

AND EVERYONE IS A CLEVER CLONE, A CHROME COVERED CLONE AM I

Q:  Didn’t we have a luvverly time the day we went to T-Bubz??

A: Short answer = yes. Long answer contained in the podcast below. It’s only the flippin’ annual SILENCE! Thought Bubble run-down!

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die recount their TB 2019 experience and culinary escapades. They brag about fancy hotels and talk up their swag and encounters from the festival, including meeting John Wagner, Alan Martin, Atom Tan, Alex Automatic, House of Sweets, Trencher Xmas Special, Douglas Noble, Hitsville, Mindless Ones, breakfast, rain, the Poshness of Harrogate, Milligan & Dayglo’s Counterfeit Girl and more.

<ITEM> It’s the prestige-quality, extra-special SILENCE! TO ASTONISH LIVE spectacular spectacle, with consumate co-host Al to Astonish,  lovely guests Emma Viecelli, Gerry Duggan, Ram V and John Allison and the usual self-indlugence. Plus special magickal guestz…oooooohh!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

THE MECHANICS OF LONELY ARE LIKE PARALLEL PARKING

There’s a great blurb here.  You just have to stare at the dot below for a while. Keep staring. Keep staring.  Now blink your eyes quickly. There – you see it?

<ITEM> Look you know what the deal is. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die yackety-schmackety comics blah-di-blah sponsorship yadda yadda kids…SILENCE!

<ITEM>  Somewhere in this bloated podcorpse you will find: God blessing sex, Nugget, Speed walkers, Hitsville, Reviewniverse , Jimmy Olson, Philippa Rice , Sister BFFs, My Cardboard Life , Legends of the Dark Knight, Color Me Badddddd, Steeple, New Mutants, Shadow Strikes , House/Powers of X, Spider-Man , Green Lantern , Inferior 5, Great Snickers Crossover , I, Kunt, Wild and Crazy Guys, Bottomless Lactus and more more more

<ITEM> YOU DO THE MATH!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

LET’S SHAKE AND SAY, WE’LL OPERATE IN HITSVILLE UK

Welcome to a special edition of SILENCE! wherein The Beast Must Die has a jaunty, rambling conversation with the lovely Dan Cox and John Riordan (aka Dan & Johnny Hitsville) to discuss there excellent series Hitsville UK and in particular the Kickstarter to fund the collected edition (get on board True Believers). We talked about the origins of the comic, how the boys met and the inspirations behind it.

But don’t worry! It’s still a SILENCE! so you can expect variable sound quality and lengthy digressions into Deadline, Free  Tapes, Menswear, Dig!, The Specials AKA, Cate Le Bon, the UK Small Press, Thought Bubble, FJ McMahon, Barbelith and much. much more. It was a warm summer evening in a nice pub in Waterloo, with two of my very favourite people in comics, so I hope you enjoy…

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

BACK TO NATURE, THE VOYEUR WILL REALISE THIS IS NOT A SIGHT FOR HIS SORE EYES

I sit here and stare. I wait. It is coming. It will come. It is out there, searching for me. Sniffing the air, turning it’s head towards where I wait. I must be calm. I cannot run, I cannot hide. There is no point. I need it and it needs me. We are meant to be together even if it means our mutual destruction. Nearer. Nearer. I can feel it now. It is … it is here.

THE BLURB IS HERE

<ITEM> PHEW What a scorcher! It’s only time for another SILENCE! and what a shaggy misshapen beastie this is. But pet it and you will see it has a lot of love to give. So settle on the veranda, plug in old Gary Lacytus & The Beast Must Die and let our verbal fingers do their aural massage.

<ITEM> Let’s see. We’ve got Illness, Gary’s Bible Studies, Fraser Geesin’s Amusing Character Videos, Mortimer & Whitehouse Gone Fishing, House of X, LOEG Tempest, Kevin O’Neill…and that’s just the intro! Throw in some Sponsorship and now we’re making gumbo!

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse is calling you. Will you answer? Inside it is The Beast Doesn’t Care About Superheroe Films, Walking Dead, Jack Kirby’s Prisoner, Mark Evanier’s 100 Things I Have Learned About Comics, Editors,  Wild & Crazy Guys, Killer Groove, Marvel Action Avengers, Evan Dorkin, How Did This Get Made, Neighbours and more

<ITEM> There’s a special Beast Unboxing with guest start Gareth Hopkins, talking about Best of 2000AD Monthly, New Teen Titans Drug Awareness, X-Force, The Shadow Strikes, Spectacular Spiderman, Fashion in Action, Later Eraser & Pressbutton, Loner, ABC Warriors, Fantastic Four, Iron Man, Fuff, Days of Hate, Marvel 2 in 1, Crytsar the Crystal Warrior, Comics Forum and Man Thing. 

<ITEM> YOU’RE AN ITEM!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

I KNOW YOU WANNA HOLD MY HAND, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA LOVE MY BAND

BEEEEEP

Listen, I know you’re there, so pick up the phone. I can wait….Look I know you, I’ve been your agent for 20 years. I know when you’re ignoring me. Listen, they just need this blurb okay? Correction – they needed it yesterday. So just write the damn thing William Shakespeare! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEP

ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE! COME OUT FROM UNDER THE TABLE, GET OUT OF THE BATHTUB, WHATEVER! Just…it’s not that…hard. Just write me a god-damned blurb for this god-damned podcast! It’s not art! It’s not literature! But it pays the god damned bills and keeps the god damned light on. So please. For me. Pick up thy god damned quill, and write! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEEP

I’m coming round. I’m bringing weapons…

<ITEM> HOO HAH! It’s only a ruddy SILENCE! guv! Here to fondle your charlie browns and brighten up your day. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have dug themselves up and are ready to talk comics, comics, comics!

<ITEM> Adminge. Sponsorhitz. And ‘SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started…‘ with The Beast’s review of Ant Man & The Wasp and more importantly In Bed With Chris Needham.

<ITEM> PISSCRIME!

<ITEM> When Wakes The Reviewniverse? RIGHT NOW PUNX! Lotsa chat including Swamp Thing 60, League of Extraordinary Gentelemen: Tempest, Grave Horticulture, Demon by Jason Shiga, Eve Stranger, Immoral Hulk, Immortal Hulk, Hey Listen!, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and The Freshmen Force, Green Lantern, Hellblazer 40 and probably more. Oh and probably Game of Thrones. But more importantly The Shitpipe Chronicles.

<ITEM> NEW FEATURE ALERT. The Beast Unboxes, featuring the thrilling sounds of a man opening packages in the toilet!!

<ITEM> No more, greedy guts!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

I’M JUST LIVING IN A LIFE WITHOUT MEANING. I JUST WALK AND WALK AND DO NOTHING

Imagine a blurb, stamping on your comics. Forever.

STOMP! Take that, you chromatic, fully painted, prestige format, limited edition, ashcan piece of sh*t!

Are we having fun yet?

<ITEM> It’s been a while but we’re back in style. well, not really. We’re just back. In a way we’ve sort of slunk in the back and tried to sit down without anyone noticing. SILENCE! What? We’ve always been here.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you our usual mix of incompetence and insouciance – comics opinionating just the way you like it. Admin, Sponsorshiup? Yup! Discussion of Comics Crossovers as euphemisms for Toilet Breaks? Right here baby!

<ITEM> Reviewniverse time! There’s a hefty discussion of Heroes in Crisis (Cry-sis more like amirite??) The Skrulls, Zack Soto’s ‘Secret Voice’, the 1989 Catwoman series, and a bunch more that I can’t remember cos it’s been so long since we recorded. Find out for yourself! Life’s like a box of chocolates apparently.

<ITEM> Some reckymends? yeah probably

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

YOURS IS HOLLOW SOUNDING, FRANKLY YOU’VE BECOME SUCKERS

Alright pod-monkeys! I recorded a chat with the extremely talented comic creator, friend of the pod and all right super-mensch, Gareth Hopkins about his amazing new comic Petrichor. As it’s me, we’re out and about, so you get the aural delights of the Barbican as a background for our chat. Gareth was gracious, eloquent and honest so I hope you enjoy the chat.

Pick up a copy of Petrichor here.

Normal SILENCE! Service will resume shortly.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

LIFE I LOVE YOU, ALL IS GROOVY

Listen can you do me a favour? I just need to nip out for a bit…no not for long. I’ll be real quick. I wouldn’t ask, but it’s actually really, really important that I go. Yeah. No, I honestly wouldn’t ask unless…y’know. Important, that’s right. You will? Oh mate that’s brilliant…honestly you don’t know what a favour this is. So I just need you to just literally sit here and do nothing till I get back. Yeah, I’ll be so, so quick I promise. Ok, so just like…just sit there, that’s right. Yup, just there. And that’s it! Till I get back. Okay? Ok cool.

..oh wait, there is just one other thing. If anyone turns up asking about a blurb, can you just whip something up? Ok great.

<ITEM>BOOOOOOOOOOM> NEW YEAR NEW DANGER! It’s only Bloody SILENCE! coming up on 2019 like a masked intruder! Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are here and brimming with new year’s resolve. And you’re going to get it, with barrels. Hot comics pottage, in that wily old SILENCE! fashion. AND IT”S NEARLY THREE HOURS LONG YOU TW@S!!

<ITEM>Bit of post-XMAS admin? Why not. As if anyone gives a rat’s chuff about that anymore! Probably some Dadmin, some sponsorships and a bit of chat about Adventures in the January comics sales.

<ITEM> Big chunk of Sadmin about the recent passing of Mega City One architect Ron Smith.

<ITEM> Gary talks about the Raymond Briggs Snowman exhibition, The Beast wants to tell you all about the Charles Schultz ‘Peanuts’ exhibition at Somerset House, and he also NEEDS to tell you all about Penda’s Fen too, in SILENCE! (Because the Film Has Started).

<ITEM> Have you heard that Gary Lactus Prunes? No, Well listen up…

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse uncurls it’s sticky paw and reveals some top quality chat about League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Fantastic Four Wonderful Wonderful Wedding Comix, Klaus: The Crying Snowman, Lodger, DIE, Justice League Europe,  GoBots, Thirteenth Floor and probably some other stuff that both of us have forgotten.

<ITEM> BONUSSSSSS! There’a a meaty chat with Tom Oldham of Breakdown Press, talking about Joe Kessler’s Windowpane, Jon Chandler’s John’s Worth (1-4), Beserker and a whole lot more, including some quality Todd McFarlane chat.

WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR SWEETHEARTS? YOU WANNA LIVE FOREVER???

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

THERE’S A BOX FULL OF SHOWER-GELS, I’VE LEFT AROUND THE WORLD

It’s SILENCE!, there’s no need to be afraid
At SILENCE!, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at SILENCE!
But say a prayer, pray for the other ones
At SILENCE! it’s hard, but when you’re having fun
There’s a world outside your window
And it’s a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you
And there won’t be snow in Africa this SILENCE!
The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it’s SILENCE! at all?
Here’s to you
Raise a glass for everyone
Here’s to them
Underneath that burning sun
Do they know it’s SILENCE! at all?
Eat the world
Eat the world
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again

<ITEM> INSERT FESTIVE! It’s the SILENCE! XMAS DING-DONG CRACKErJACK SPECTACULAR! AND YOU’RE ALL INVITED! Lock the door…they’re in now.

<ITEM> Well we’re all feeling very festive indeed aren’t we? Yes we are. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not there can be no uncertainty that the geese are gaining weight. So put a Yule log on the radiator and cosy up for 2+ hours of comics-adjacent chat with your pals The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus!

<ITEM> Inside this overstuffed figgy pudding of an episode you’re going to find the following: The Christmas Chronicles, The Immortal Hulk, Enjoyable Conversations in Glasgow bu David Kerr, Hard Boiled, Safari Honeymoon, 2000AD prog 2111, Best of lists, My Two Dads 600, Bat-Thing, Driving Britain, Secret Cosmic Heroes of Infinite Crisis…of the Gods, Doomsday Cock and a whole lot more

<ITEM> Who is…what is…The House of Ideas??

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]