Mindless Ones

Right then. Quick blurb.

Blurb.

There we go.

In this episode Gary Lactus is sad but happy to be podding with his best pal The Beast Must Die.

They’re going to be doing SILENCE! To Astonish! at Glasgow Comic Con. Fine.

In this issue they talk about Pope Hats, Poo Pants, Mad Magazine, Superman Year One, End Of The Fucking World, Immortal Hulk, Sonata, To The Death and other digressions. Also The Beast has seen Into The Spiderverse and loved it just like everyone else, the sheep. Why couldn’t he just have a hot take on it for the click bait? Oh yeah, and there’s another Beast Unboxing in a toilet.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

I KNOW YOU WANNA HOLD MY HAND, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA LOVE MY BAND

BEEEEEP

Listen, I know you’re there, so pick up the phone. I can wait….Look I know you, I’ve been your agent for 20 years. I know when you’re ignoring me. Listen, they just need this blurb okay? Correction – they needed it yesterday. So just write the damn thing William Shakespeare! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEP

ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE! COME OUT FROM UNDER THE TABLE, GET OUT OF THE BATHTUB, WHATEVER! Just…it’s not that…hard. Just write me a god-damned blurb for this god-damned podcast! It’s not art! It’s not literature! But it pays the god damned bills and keeps the god damned light on. So please. For me. Pick up thy god damned quill, and write! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEEP

I’m coming round. I’m bringing weapons…

<ITEM> HOO HAH! It’s only a ruddy SILENCE! guv! Here to fondle your charlie browns and brighten up your day. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have dug themselves up and are ready to talk comics, comics, comics!

<ITEM> Adminge. Sponsorhitz. And ‘SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started…‘ with The Beast’s review of Ant Man & The Wasp and more importantly In Bed With Chris Needham.

<ITEM> PISSCRIME!

<ITEM> When Wakes The Reviewniverse? RIGHT NOW PUNX! Lotsa chat including Swamp Thing 60, League of Extraordinary Gentelemen: Tempest, Grave Horticulture, Demon by Jason Shiga, Eve Stranger, Immoral Hulk, Immortal Hulk, Hey Listen!, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and The Freshmen Force, Green Lantern, Hellblazer 40 and probably more. Oh and probably Game of Thrones. But more importantly The Shitpipe Chronicles.

<ITEM> NEW FEATURE ALERT. The Beast Unboxes, featuring the thrilling sounds of a man opening packages in the toilet!!

<ITEM> No more, greedy guts!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

THIS SKILLED TRADE LIKE A TAILOR-MADE SUEDE, HIT THE STUDIO AND I’M PAID

Is there anybody there…?

If you’re there, speak now. Or…let us know you can hear us.

Just a sound. Any sound. To let us know.

There are loved ones here who want to speak to you…

THERE! DID YOU HEAR THAT?

Words! Words, coming through the ether…forming…what is it that you are trying to tell us..? Wait. I don’t understand…Item? Are yo trying to say item..?

<ITEM> Welcome to the latest, greatest, invite you out on a datest, edition of SILENCE!!! The internet’s first and only podcast with your spooky old pals, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die.

<ITEM> Admin, sponsorship and the whole nine yards. Nine yards of what? QUALITY!

<ITEM> She heavy duty Sadmin, with the passing of two comics titans Norm Breyfogle and Carlos Ezquerra

<ITEM> The gang are still lost in time, so who knows what happens when. Know this: they definitely enter the Reviewniverse and talk about the Immortal Hulk, Tank Girl All Stars, Michael Kupperman’s All The Answers, Give Me Liberty, The Scream & Misty Halloween Special, the Justice League film and probably some more

<ITEM> Just time to talk about the brilliant Halloween edition of Inside No.9, then it’s all bad to the morgue for a quick Monster Mash.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]