Mindless Ones

NOW IS THE TIME AND THE TIME IS NOW FOR OUR CHILDREN TO ASK FOR THE WORLD, LIFE’S UNREASONABLE, DEMAND THE IMPOSSIBLE

DID YOU KNOW?  Sharks can smell London from space!

DID YOU KNOW?  If you remove the sax breaks from every 80s song, the 80s actually only last for 7 years!

DID YOU KNOW?  This is actually a blurb!

<ITEM> It’s another episode of SILENCE!.  You know the sort of thing to expect.  Lots of talk about Hanson.

<ITEM> The Beast Must Die unboxes a load of stuff in a very special The Beast Unboxes

<ITEM>  Gary Lactus has also picked up a Lorne Bomb.

<ITEM>  Come with us to Reviewniverse, with The Young Lawyers, LOEG Tempest, Monsters, Girl and Silverblade of course.

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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AND THEY’RE WONDERING WHY WE CAN’T CONNECT WITH THE RITUAL OF THE TRASHED GUITAR

You can earn money from home! Blurb writers urgently required to fill space at top of podcast post. Competitive rates. No real talent or wit required! Hurry hurry hurry!

<ITEM> S…S…S…SILENCE! (turn and face the strange). Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you another hot shot pod rocket from out of their undercrackers and into your earholes.

<ITEM> Look, there’s probably some rambling nonsense and sponsorship and admin at the start. I can’t remember though. You have a listen and tell me about it in the comments.

<ITEM> The Beast Unboxes his latest treat-bundle for your listening pleasure

<ITEM> Into the glacial embrace of the Reviewniverse with the gasbags gasbagging about House of the Black Spot, Jamie Delano’s Animal Man, Baby by Philippa Rice, Lone Wolf & Cub, The Man Who F#@cked up Time, Chosen: the New Messiah, Eightball #23 (Death Ray) and probably more, maybe less??

<ITEM> I have a hangover. Go away.

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

Right then. Quick blurb.

Blurb.

There we go.

In this episode Gary Lactus is sad but happy to be podding with his best pal The Beast Must Die.

They’re going to be doing SILENCE! To Astonish! at Glasgow Comic Con. Fine.

In this issue they talk about Pope Hats, Poo Pants, Mad Magazine, Superman Year One, End Of The Fucking World, Immortal Hulk, Sonata, To The Death and other digressions. Also The Beast has seen Into The Spiderverse and loved it just like everyone else, the sheep. Why couldn’t he just have a hot take on it for the click bait? Oh yeah, and there’s another Beast Unboxing in a toilet.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

I KNOW YOU WANNA HOLD MY HAND, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA LOVE MY BAND

BEEEEEP

Listen, I know you’re there, so pick up the phone. I can wait….Look I know you, I’ve been your agent for 20 years. I know when you’re ignoring me. Listen, they just need this blurb okay? Correction – they needed it yesterday. So just write the damn thing William Shakespeare! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEP

ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE! COME OUT FROM UNDER THE TABLE, GET OUT OF THE BATHTUB, WHATEVER! Just…it’s not that…hard. Just write me a god-damned blurb for this god-damned podcast! It’s not art! It’s not literature! But it pays the god damned bills and keeps the god damned light on. So please. For me. Pick up thy god damned quill, and write! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEEP

I’m coming round. I’m bringing weapons…

<ITEM> HOO HAH! It’s only a ruddy SILENCE! guv! Here to fondle your charlie browns and brighten up your day. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have dug themselves up and are ready to talk comics, comics, comics!

<ITEM> Adminge. Sponsorhitz. And ‘SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started…‘ with The Beast’s review of Ant Man & The Wasp and more importantly In Bed With Chris Needham.

<ITEM> PISSCRIME!

<ITEM> When Wakes The Reviewniverse? RIGHT NOW PUNX! Lotsa chat including Swamp Thing 60, League of Extraordinary Gentelemen: Tempest, Grave Horticulture, Demon by Jason Shiga, Eve Stranger, Immoral Hulk, Immortal Hulk, Hey Listen!, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and The Freshmen Force, Green Lantern, Hellblazer 40 and probably more. Oh and probably Game of Thrones. But more importantly The Shitpipe Chronicles.

<ITEM> NEW FEATURE ALERT. The Beast Unboxes, featuring the thrilling sounds of a man opening packages in the toilet!!

<ITEM> No more, greedy guts!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]