Mindless Ones

Keen as we are to take what comfort we can in these dark hours, the Mindless Ones will be at Thought Bubble 2024 in Harrogate this weekend. We’ll be at tables B3-4 in DSTLRY Hall on Saturday 16th and Sunday 17th November, providing maps to places that may or may not exist to weary travellers.

Here’s one:

A bloom of ungodly beauty in a world of holy tragedy, Leckie / Bone Chanter will be with us this weekend. Keepers of sweet secrets and keen-eyed sailors already know about Wraithlands, “a dark fantasy tabletop roleplaying game set on the cursed celtic island of Nullona, a mist-sodden conquered land of giant beasts, desperate villages, haunted bogs and daemonic landowners.” It’s a gorgeous premise, play-tested by legends from near and far, and brought to life by the gnarly whin of Leckie’s prose and art Paul Jon Milne (remember him?) that hints at ragged wounds and muck-damp landscapes yet to be uncovered.

The version of Wraithlands on sale this weekend is 161 page paperback.

As you can see, it’s a handsome volume. Perhaps even more handsome than the horde of Mindless Men who will be behind the table flogging it this weekend.

Due to an obscure sentence passed by an unflinching god, the Mindless Ones will be at Thought Bubble 2024 in Harrogate this weekend. We’ll be at tables B3-4 in DSTLRY Hall on Saturday 16th and Sunday 17th November, trading hard drawn comics for hard earned cash, and shouting at tech bros whether any are present or not.

Scourge of Scotland’s east coast, the mighty Paul Jon Milne will be with us throughout the weekend. Paul is the sort of talent that comics have always attracted – a genius that can do anything except admit to its own existence. If the following interview leaves you with a desire to hear more from the man himself, we’ve blethered to him before here. If you want to check out his work – as all tortured aesthetes and muscle magic aficionados should – you can either pop round to Harrogate this weekend or visit his online shop.

Perverts who enjoy writing about comics are directed to my post on Paul’s “superheroes on the dole” comic Guts Power.

Anyway, enough of my shite. Let’s hear from the man himself!

1. Who are you and how did you get here?

I am Paul Jon Milne (He/Him) and I’ve been making comics and Art Stuff for ages, in Edinburgh and sometimes in Fife. Done all sorts of drawings for things. Drew some pics with a pal for a short film that had Gail Porter in it, a lifetime ago. Only saw it recently, via youtube. Was not mentioned in the credits. This is my ‘career’ in general.

2. What will you be bringing with you to Thought Bubble 2024?

Limit Formation Inertial! A comic about a wee lad who gets home from a space adventure, with consequences!!! 

These Aren’t My Brutes! A collection of fan-art pics I made this summer, now scanned in, printed and monetised.

Creep Heap 2025! A collection of drawings and comics from this year, mostly never seen before!!! Unless it doesn’t show up in time from the printer in which case no-one’ll see any of it.

Torse! Comic from 2023 about a training dummy. Nominated for ‘best art’ at The Selkie Awards (see question 4)!!!

3. What are you looking forward to at the convention?

Seeing pals! Avoiding the eyes of customers! Shivering and shaking as I try to handle money, hoping to god someone else can do everything for me as I try to become as small as possible behind the table. Also looking forward to sighting someone in fancy dress as Cole Cash, The Grifter.

4. We hear your Torso has been nominated for a prestigious award. How did that happen and what does it mean for the future of Scottish beefcakes?

I saw a tweet advertising a new awards thing and entered it as I am a very arrogant man. Doubt I’ll win but it’s nice to imagine I could. I’m hoping if I win it’ll lead to all the Scottish gym bozos reading Torse and seeing that being radicalised by a culture of joyless body fascism is a bad scene, and make being a musclebound oaf fun again.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: we were hoping to provoke Paul into discussing his own reputable Torso, rather than the (excellent) comic book Torse, but modesty and good taste have lead us elsewhere and who are we to deny those fine characteristics when they present themselves in this blighted world?]

5. What has been holding back despair when the inevitable disgust with all things comics creeps in during the dark of night?

Nothing, really!!! ‘LOL’! Been watching all the Alien and Predator films, though. I have the same opinions as everyone else about all of them except now I prefer Predator 2 to Predator 1, and Alien 3 (extendo edition) to Aliens. Dunno if this is ‘holding back despair’ but it’s certainly making me an interesting contrarian with a raised eyebrow and smug smile, ready for Discourse.

6. Which is the best Marvel vs. Capcom game and why? 

Difficult to answer!!! In theory it’s Marvel vs. Capcom 2 as it has one million characters, crucially including Cable and Marrow of the X-Men, and (yawn) Technical and Involved Gameplay. However, it also has shitey 3D backgrounds.

Was recently reacquainted with Marvel vs. Capcom 1 and while it has a tiny wee roster, it also has lovely 2D backgrounds and the ability to go two slightly different versions of the Hulk at once. It’s slightly less hectic than 2 for the most part and I feel more like I know what I’m doing. Also the end boss is Onslaught which seems a terrible idea but I’m very glad he’s there being legitimised by Capcom, one in the eye for the “LOL 90s amirite” crowd.

So MvC 1 is the best one. Maybe.

All I know is Marvel vs Capcom: Infinite is dog shit as it has no X-Men and stinks of ‘movie synergy’. No! No.

Comics?!?!?

Oh, The Beast Must Die is a busy busy beast, so Gary Lactus presents…
THE PAUL JON MILNE STORY!
Starring Jon Paul Milne playing the role of Paul Jon Milne. We learn the startling origin of Paul Jon Milne, relive Paul Jon Milne’s greatest triumphs whilst learning Paul John Milne’s darkest secrets and arrive at Paul Jon Milne’s new art book, CREEP HEAP.  It’s the role Jon Paul Milne was born to play.

There’s also talk of Transformers, Doctor Strange, The sweet spot of Marvel’s 90s output and jocks for hire.

Buy Paul Jon Milne products from his Etsy store
Buy Fraser Geesin’s products and services from his website
Buy Dan White’s stuff from his website

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

YOU’RE JUST TOO TOO OBSCURE FOR ME, YOU DON’T REALLY GET THROUGH TO ME

OVER HERE!  MAN ON!  IN THE BOX!  CROSS IT  ONTO MY HEAD MY OLD SUNSHINE! WHAT WAS THAT?!  WHERE ARE YOUR SPECS, REF?!

Ah, Footblurb.  The beautiful game.

<ITEM>WELL, THIS WAS A MASSIVE PAIN IN THE ARSE TO EDIT!

<ITEM>Having said that, it was a delight for The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus to welcome Dan Cox and John Riordon for a reasonably informal wag of chins.

<ITEM>But it’s not entirely informal, as Danny and Johnny, the Hitsville Brothers tell us tales of their experiences of running the Hitsville UK Kickstarter.  

<ITEM>Inevitably, everything falls apart as the SILENCE!#295 experience becomes one of listening in to the rambling chat of the four men on the table next to yours.  What kind of men are these?  What drives them?  What interests them?  Well, in short:  Jeff Bezos, their children’s relationships with super heroes, cosplay families, their dream Strontium Dog TV show and the music documentaries King Rocker, The Chills: The Triumph And Tragedy Of Martin Phillips and the Tina Turner doc, Tina.  Oh, and Timmy Capello.

<ITEM>Anyone read any comics?  Well sort of.  There’s talk of Danny Hitsville’s Chris Claremont Completion Crusade, Paul Jon Milne’s Grave Horticulture, the forthcoming Pocket Chiller Speckle and Ash, Gareth Brookes’ The Dancing Plague, Gareth Hopkins‘ Ghosts In Things, LDN by Ramzee, Jim Woodring’s Jabba The Hutt and Thriller.

<ITEM>Finally there’s some reckymends, namely List Off, Three Bean Salad, The Office US, Laser Fart and, (as usual) Chart Music.

<ITEM> In long:

@frasergeesin

@thebeastmustdie

si************@gm***.com

 

I ASKED THE ICE, IT WOULD NOT SAY BUT ONLY CRACKED OR MOVED AWAY

Daddy, I don’t want to write the blurb.
But you said you wanted to write the blurb.
I don’t want to write the blurb. I want to play with the train track.
Okay, I’ll set up the train track for you… There you go.
Daddy I don’t want to play with the train track.
But I just made the train track for you.
But I don’t want to play with the train track!
What do you want to do, then?
I want to write the blurb.

We said it would happen and here it is! SILENCE! 290!

<ITEM>Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die kick off this momentous recording with some of the finest chat on Earth, forged in the white hot heat of aimlessness then cooled in the pure waters of lockdown boredom then tempered with the hammer of pointlessness on the anvil of stretched metaphors. That is to say, they talk about John Cooper Clarke’s autobiography, I Wanna Be Yours, the Stan Lee biography, True Believer, Richard Herring’s Ball, King Rocker and Birds Of Prey.  Oh, and they totally forget to mention any sponsors but do remember to plug their new, Patreon-only podcast, Dan and Fraser’s Starlight Adventures!

<ITEM>BANG! AAAAARGH! Gary opens a Lorne Bomb!

<ITEM>Come with us to Reviewniverse, with Deadline, Keif Llama: Vectors, Huntress, Kraven The Last Hunt, Si Spencer and Grave Horticulture of course!

<ITEM>Listening time!

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

si************@gm***.com

 

Unlike some of the punks we’re hosting at this table, Paul Jon Milne is the real deal: an artist whose dedication to his work is so extreme that it has transformed his whole body into living, grunting work of art.  It’s muscle on muscle all the way down with Milne, who is now so ruggedly handsome that to look upon him would leave your eyes feeling bruised. 

Because we respect the sanctity of your own personal vision, we’re not going to include a picture of the main man himself in this post, but if you want to get as sense of the gnarled beauty we’re sparing you from, here’s a picture from 2019’s seminal sci-fi blasterpiece Hard Ships:

 

As someone who believes in the beauty of ACTION! in ACTION! rather than the turgid boredom of inaction in action, Paul has condensed his blurb to a series of useful links and illuminating quotes that you can read just below this eminently clickable gallery of his artwork!  

MILNE WEBSITES:

www.etsy.com/uk/shop/PJMillustration

www.comixology.co.uk/Paul-Jon-Milne/comics-creator/190012

Pa**********@tw*****.com

www.artstation.com/pauljonmilne

QUOTES ABOUT MILNE COMICS:

“(Grave Horticulture’s) a mesmerising vision of punk agrarianism that feels like the next logical step UK comics should take…
Wreckage, in the most empowering sense.”

-Sarah Horrocks (the Comic Journal)

“You know that one artist who drewcats until he went mad? Like that but with bulging muscles”

– Dan McDaid (Firefly, Doom Patrol)

“There are no comics that make me laugh more (onpurpose) than Paul Jon Milne comics, and that’s a fact!”

– Claire Napier (Women Write About Comics, Dash Dearborne)

“Milne’s work has what I can only describe as a niche irreverence”

– Andy Oliver (Broken Frontier)

Paul Jon Milne – Guts Power #1-6

Dan Cox and John Riordan – Hitsville UK

The gospel was told, some souls it swallowed whole
Mentally they fold and they eventually sold
Their life and times, deadly like the virus design
But too minute to dilute the scientist mind

Wu-Tang Clan – ‘A Better Tomorrow‘ 

Spacing (notice that this word speaks the articulation of space and time, the becoming-space of time and the becoming-time of space) is always the unperceived, the non-present, and the non-conscious. As such, if one can still use that expression in a non-phenomenological way; for here we pass the very limits of phenomenology.

Jacques Derrida – Of Grammatology

Two comic book series, both started before the world ended in December 2012, both completed some time after the apocalypse.  So far so standard. What makes them both remarkable is how prescient they are about all the ways the world has continued to end and about how we might continue to live regardless.

To be brief: they reek not just of knowledge but of foresight.

The sixth and final issue of Paul Jon Milne’s Guts Power spends most of its time getting ready to go out for the party.  When I last reviewed this series, only the first four issues had been published but the mood of the comic was well established, its grimly eroticised kitchen sink misery distinguished from all the other neurotic indie comics out there by virtue of Milne’s seeping imagination:

I’m stuck on Milne’s style, on the use of that old fashioned alt-comix grossness not as a mode for outrageous straight white guy funtimes, but as a way to genuinely queer the Sex-Men experience.

With its tentative dance floor adventures, “Pepto-bawbag particles” and alluringly grotesque cast, Guts Power manages the rare trick of making one man’s whims, stray thoughts and fancies seem like a genuine delight, probably because the combination feels fresh and true; would that the same could be said of all such ventures.

By the time issue #6 starts, death and romance have already happened and everyone is gearing up for some sort of revolution.  You can practically feel the wee white dots form around you in the air, feel yourself being drawn back into the radiant possibility of a blank page, right up until the moment your cat farts and you’re left sitting on your couch alone with your own misery.

Having sprinted through enough dodgy deals, guilty secrets, Beatific visions and nazi incursions to fill 23 issues of a normal comic, Hitsville UK crosses the finish line of its seventh issues with a sense of perspective that’s bound to baffle all traditional metrics.  Last time I checked in on the comic, I found myself racing to keep up with its evolution, with the way that it had left my initial concept of the series as a referential but not reverential pop fun somewhere way off in the distance:

What I will say is that the issues of Hitsville that have been published since then have had an increased sense of urgency to them.  The boys may not have set out to create a fantasy of communal resilience in an age that seems increasingly under threat by undead attitudes, shambling zombie racism, and the endless monetization of your every passing daydream, but fuck me if they didn’t do it anyway!

The conclusion of Hitsville UK gives you some sense as to who’s pulling (or should that be playing?) the strings and some idea as to why.  We still don’t know why the world ended in 2012, or why it persists in this form, why even blogs have somehow been allowed to continue, but all of this prompts a question: why did the children of The Invisibles decide to persist in their endeavours, knowing that the end would come before anyone could finish their stories?

BEATS ME FOLKS! BETTER CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT!

For the ninth year in a row the Mindless Ones will be hawking our tawdry wares at the Thought Bubble comics convention, which is taking place in Harrogate this weekend.

None of us have cracked the secrets of eternal life, but the dadforce is strong in this group, and at least three of us are more handsome than we were back in 2011, where Andre Whickey tried to sell me for low low price and failed completely.

Will the gang manage to make some money off me this time?

Unlikely. Everyone knows my love is free.

But we’ll be more than happy to see you either at our stall – ComiXology Originals Hall, Table 16 – or at the SILENCE! to Astonish panel at Room A – Queen’s Stage, 2pm on Saturday!

Here’s the blurb for the panel:

Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die of SILENCE! and Al Kennedy of House of Astonish inflict daft games, badly researched questions and ill-advised impressions on a very special, hand-picked, crack group of comic professional victi-err… guests.

House to Astonish is Scotland’s longest-running comics podcast and has been featuring comics news and reviews for over ten years. SILENCE! is the world’s only comics podcast.

This year’s guests are: Giant Days writer and Steeple jack John Allison (not my uncle), Analog scribe Gerry Duggan, These Savage Shores writer Ram V, and word/art specialist and Breaks-smith Emma Vieceli.

Team Mindless will also be happy to savour the sweet, sweet taste of money in exchange for the products of our labour.

Here’s who’ll be selling what at our table…

ANDRE WHICKEY / ANDREW HICKEY

Dre isn’t selling any books at our table though you may be able to buy some off him.

GARY LACTUS / FRASER GEESIN

The big massive genius of his generation, Larry Gactus will be in the building with his latest misterpiece, Journey To The Surface Of The Earth #1.

Twenty pages pf A4 full colour and B&W goodness, Journey To The Surface Of The Earth was described as “a fittingly witty celebration of the mundane” by Broken Frontier’s Andy Oliver, who quite rightly asked us all to celebrate “the unique mindscape of this seriously underappreciated mainstay of the UK self-publishing scene”. DARE YOU DENY HIM?

Larry Leesin will also be selling a brand new micro-zine, Good Frence #1

Good Frence has new Amusing Brothers strips and what I’m reliably told by the postman is a full page, ham-fisted Brexit analogy. Andy Oliver might not have told you to buy it but I am, right here and now. Am I not good enough for you? Fair enough, but you still deserve Good Frence, for all your sins.

Gazer Freesin will also have copies of his phenomenal autobio comic The Cleaner, the world’s best Ikea comics anthology KOMISK! and a fistful of other treats for the faithful on the table too.

ILLOGICAL VOLUME / DAVID ALLISON

I’ll be there with Beyond Whiles, the latest in my series of comics about abandoned places and the people who live in them.

A leisurely walk through a glitchy environment in the process of rebooting, Beyond Whiles is also an attempt to turn cheek into currency – in this case, by adapting the works of Weegie author and mural-enthusiast Alasdair Gray into comics form.

I’ll also have copies of LGH and Labyrinths if slow explosions or hauntings are more your thing, and I’ve reprinted Cut-Out Witch, my 2013 collaboration with Lynne Henderson.

Praise for my solo comics:

“Classic British indie small press pamphlet, and a sharp burst of mood and ideas. It’s very much comics as poem – it’s the sort of work that Douglas Noble has been known to do” – Kieron Gillen

“A spooky zine… Liked this a lot. The writing is really strong and the art suggests just enough to make you uneasy – Sarah Horrocks

Praise for my comic with Lynne:

“Cut-Out Witch is really good… Lovely creepy stuff” – Twitter’s own James Baker

“You do seem to be able to dash such things off quite easily, I kind of wish I could do that…” – A Trout in the Circus’ very own Plok

Praise for you, praise for me – PRAISE ME!

THE BEAST MUST DIE / DAN WHITE

The mighty Beast is back with the second installment of his new horror anthology, Sticky Ribs!

Broken Frontier’s Andy Oliver, who you worship as a god, forsaking far less useful and productive deitys-in-waiting like me, had this to say about the latest release from the werewolf factory at Dead Light Comics:

This is prime White material with the juxtaposition of innocent, childlike diary entries and horrifying reality perfectly counterpointing each other and, through their contrast, making events all the more chilling. It’s Maurice Sendak by way of Cormac McCarthy, with wide-eyed innocence going hand in hand visually with a surrounding inescapable devastation.

He’s not wrong, this Andy Oliver. I can see why you’re currently building an alter for him, out in the woods, where you think no one can see you. I don’t approve of your methods but the impulse behind them… that I can get. Anyway, here’s a sneak peak of the horrors of the first story in The Beast’s latest:

As always, the ever-loving, red-eyed Beast will have copies of his astonishing kids comic Cindy and Biscuit to sell, and stories to tell that will add or remove hair to various body parts as required.

THRILLS / PAUL JON MILNE 

Paul will be debuting his new comic Hard Ships at our table this weekend.

In a move that will astonish and tantalize my fellow Miln-o-maniacs, Hard Ships looks deep into the muscle mysteries that are Milne’s muse and finds itself out there in space, exploring new frontiers of braw humour and shame.

Or at least, that’s what the postman tells me.

Milne will also have copies of  Grave Horticulture #1 and #2 for sale at our table.

Here’s what Sarah Horrocks had to say about that mulchy wonder for The Comics Journal:

Milne is an artist who can effortlessly land a fiery car engine on the neck of a musclebound maniac and you immediately understand what that’s all about. And unlike most writers today, he can give an origin story for a character in two pages or less.

The result is a tome of addled freaks, violence poets, and blood vegans who all feel coherent within a swamp of UK housing and geographic dilapidation.

Bobsy and Mister Attack will also be in full effect all weekend, dishing out love and violence to those who know how to ask for what. I pity the fools that use the wrong code words at the wrong time. Those poor souls. Those hopeless, shattered wretches. So hard to imagine their suffering. So hard not to want to be them.

So… where was I?

Yes. Thought Bubble 2019. Harrogate. Table 16, Originals Hall. See you there?

As debuted at Thought Bubble, KOMISK, the Ikea themed comics anthology, is now available from Fraser Geesin’s webstore!

Featuring strips by Geesin, Kathryn Briggs, Gareth A. Hopkins, Tom Mortimer, Paul Jon Milne and David Allison (that’s me – hi mum!), KOMISK exists at the point where mild domestic ambition blurs into existential terror and where novel shelving solutions seem to mock you in your dreams.

“Darkly humorous… really very, very funny” – Andy Oliver, Broken Frontier

“Includes Fraser Geesin’s THE INCREDIBLE EVERYDAY, the best thing I’ve read all weekend” – Colin Bell, Thought Bubble 2018

As a wee taster, you can download an alternative version of one my contributions to the anthology, Spegelvärlden, RIGHT HERE!

The finished version of the strip is shorter, less oblique and packed full of words cos yer man Geesin was keen on providing value for money for paying punters, but I still quite like this version and hopefully it’ll give you a flavour of the ruined good that await you in the anthology itself!