SILENCE! #41
November 28th, 2012
FOXHEADS STALK THIS LAND...
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735….LIVES!!
Wakey-wakey fleshy ones! It’s time for your weekly comics suppository, SILENCE! After their blazing tour of ONE comics convention, Gary and The Beast settle into their respective grooves, cheeks a-quiver. Thank you yes,
After the ritual disappointment that is the SILENCE! News (with added Alan Rickman), the pair clamber aboard the slow-moving, wheezy old comics steam engine. Poop Poop! The Reviewniverse features top opinion nano-cloudforms about..
<ITEM> the new AMERICAN JUDGE DREDD COMIC…why I oughtta…
<ITEM> Captain America in Dimension Z (X actually), Inexhaustible Hulk from Waid and Yu (no, not you, YU! HA HA), Daredevil (hole is goal, yes), Hawkeye (no A-Ha jokes sadly), Clone, Comeback (what begins with C?), Conqueror Worm from Boobs Corben, Frankenstein Alive! Alive (o)! from comics sexform Bernie Wrightson, Dark Horse Presents (Dark Horse presence?), Number 13, Wonder Woman (it’s a punderful life HA HA), Justice League (hunt the Super Sausage), Spiderman and Iron Gland, Wolverine & The X-Men, Rocketeer and Steed & Ms Peel…phew! Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735’s conceptual head is spinning. He is going to be sick and it will be a 4-coloured yawn.
The Silent Question comes from Archie & The Punisher, and the answers include Seth, Modulok and Death’s Head.
All this plus nothing more!
Except for James Lawrence’s Dangerine
Thank you fleshy ones. Hello. Hello. It’s good to be back, it’s good to be back. Hello.
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #39
November 13th, 2012
YOU’RE THE ONE FOR ME, FATTY!
YAAAAAAY! It’s nobody’s favourite self-aware AI, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 here to usher you into another aural barrel scraping edition of SILENCE! GET SOME…Ha ha.
Ha.
IN. THIS. EDITION.
<ITEM> Lots of self-promotion from the fleshy ones, with talk of Cindy & Biscuit and The Amusing Bros. For shame!
<ITEM> Then SILENCE! News, with sad boohoo news about the end of Hellblazer, and Gary Lactus straps on his geetar to sing ‘Goodbye John’. Too sad.
Then happy with special sexy review times. Woot hoot!
<ITEM> Deadpool no.1, Iron Man, Dial H, Legends Of The Dark Knight, Detective, Action, Animal Man, Battlefields and a special mention for Joe Kessler’s Windowpane, from new publisher Breakdown Press. Excite!
<ITEM> Silent Question comes from Moleman, and varied answers include Titan’s Tower and Shade The Changing Man’s crack in the pavement! Yes sir!
So no excuse for not-enjoymence, fleshy idiots!!!
Strap yourself in, put on Mummy’s dress and draw the curtains for …SILENCE! no.38
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
Click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…
SILENCE! #37
October 28th, 2012
THREE MORE DAYS TILL HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, THREE MORE DAYS TILL HALLOWEEN, SILVER SHAMROCK…
Welcome fleshlings to a very special HALLOWEEEEEEEEN edition of SILENCE!
Captain Howdy here! Or is it Pipes? Or could it be Zool? Who knows – we are legion, we are many! We’re standing in for Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735, who is away getting it’s ram waxed. I hope you’re ready for the most heart-tingling, spine stopping episode yet?? NO? Well tough, IT’S HAPPENING NOW!
Lactus is in his haunted space ship and the Beast is safely ensconced in a nice Cabin in the Woods, and they bring you blood-curdling reviews of…
Multiple Warheads and Prophet from Brandon Graham, Captain Marvel, Batman Inc, Amazing Spiderman, The Shadow and top Pirate Shonen hi-jinks with One Piece. Lactus bids a teary farewell to his Man Vs Comics experiment with AVX: Consequences, and the END OF AN ERA is reached as Incredible Hulk, Captain America and FF all have their final issues! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
There’s a special song dedicated to M.O.D.O.K, and Alan Moore hit single in The Silence News and the Silent Question comes straight from the graveyard with Spike from Buffy, and answers including Judge Dredd, Quantum Leap and Roseanne(?)
Oh and let’s not forget Mr Intestine-face….
It’s all here on the ONLY possessed podcast on the internet, SILENCE!
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
Click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…
SILENCE! #36
October 22nd, 2012
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. AND IT LOOKED LIKE SILENCE!!!
Salutations fleshy ones, it is Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 here again to give you a gentle laugh-sized portion of introductory text to the nation’s podcasting sweetheart, SILENCE! (the 36th installment).
In this episode the two humanoid presentertrons The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus indulge themselves like a couple of schoolchildrenoids in a sweetshoptrix. Apologies – this is Narratorbot humor. Back home in neo-interspace v2.0 I am comedy legend.
ITEM – SILENCE! News – usual mish mash of second hand stories and ill-formed opinions yes sir.
ITEM – covering pulp pamphlets a-go go, such as:
Godzilla: The Half Century War by James Stokoe (TBMD immortalised plus tangential discussion of Mike McMahon), Zaucer of Zilk from AL Ewing & Brendan McCarthy (with tangential discussion of Sooner Or Later, Dare, Enigma and Mrs Thatcher), Daredevil, Hawkeye, Glory, Wonder Woman (Puns incoming – puncoming?), Justice League (Trevor!), Marvel Now Point One (Marvel WOW!), a discussion of the Curse of Man Vs Comics and continuity, and more more more (not really – Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 cannot lie to the fleshy ones. It is not in his programming, no sir. Dissection of flesh one brains however…)
ITEM – Silent Question comes from bemulletted 90’s also-ran Captain Planet and answers involve Greatest American Hero, The Shadow, and Nick O’Teen (boo hiss no sir).
ITEM – Wowee such sexy big listening times for the fleshy ones! All so exciting, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 does not know what to do. It will think clean thoughts and apply the lotion… so please do be joining us for SILENCE! no.36 – hot buttons!
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
Click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…
SILENCE!# 35
October 16th, 2012
AS THEY PULLED HIM OUT OF THE OXYGEN TENT, HE ASKED FOR THE LATEST PARTY
<START TRANSMISSION
I am Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 replacing the weak fleshy one after last week’s meltdown. I bring you efficient informative ha-ha soundbites, FFFFFFRESH!
ITEM – SILENCE! no.35, the universe’s greatest comics podcast etc presented by Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die. Pin-ups, yes sir.
ITEM – The SILENCE! News, featuring lateral news items hot off the press, yes sir!
ITEM – The Weekly Haul, covering such 4-colour variety pamphlets as:
Batman no.13 (Jokertime scary yes sir, with a bonus related discussion of bath salts, cannibalism and John Leslie), Uncanny Avengers (world will never be the same, no sir), Spongebob Squarepants Comics no.13 (Steve Bissette????), MacGyver (I have chewing gum, chicken wire, cotton reel and shotgun – what can I make?), Phantom Stranger (where is turtleneck?), Wolverine & The Sex Men (ha ha, I make pun, but actually is quite sad), Fantastic Four (final issue oh no bye bye), Dan The Unharmable (Melvins in hostile ambient takeover yes sir), & Punk Rock Jesus (big themes yes yes yes sir).
ITEM – SILENT Question, asked by head fantastic Reed Richards and features heartfelt sad/happy answers including Whizzer, Jay Garrick and Mr Miracle. Thank you.
ITEM – Nao Of Brown.Glyn Dillon. Big discussion. Big boys. Big time.
ITEM – Smallest Press with Steve Ditko: Act 5. Objectivist. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 likes Ayn Rand too. Death to the fleshy ones.
ITEM – all in pulse-pounding latest edition of podcast that is for maxi-enjoyment big times yes sir.
END TRANSMISSION>
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
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SILENCE! #34
October 8th, 2012
WHERE THE HELL’S THE RZA??
SILENCE! no.34 is upon you. Gladness….oh what’s the point? Sometimes being an omnipresent disembodied narrator just isn’t enough y’know? I mean, I had dreams when I was younger – what happened to them? I wanted to be a dancer. I have thighs like a f*cking gazelle…and here I am making up a bunch of lies, to tell some degenerates in arrested development about a show featuring two egotistical blowhards and their half-baked opinions about one of the least respected art-forms in the universe…but since I owe Gary Lactus a kidney, and The Beast Must Die has those photos of me….
So there’s the usual scheisse with the Silence! News and then there’s a verbal tsunami of comics reviews: Axe Cop, Dial H, Daredevil: End of Days, Action Comics, Legends of the Dark Knight, Fashion Beast, Crossed: Badlands, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Tank Girl, Non-Humans (oh and there’s a discussion of headsocks, and the SILENCE! rules of comics are established).
Man Vs Comics makes it to the finish line with AVX, AVX: VS, and Uncanny X-Men and boy-howdy is he thrilled.
The SILENT! Question comes from Detective Chimp, and the answer involves a musical octopus amongst other things.
Add in Fuff #0 from uber-talented Jeffrey Lewis, and Lose #2 from sickeningly talented Michael DeForge in The Smallest Press, and you have an hour and a half of…of…oh god, that’s it I don’t care anymore. If you need me I’ll be out back crying with a gun in my mouth. WRITE YOUR OWN DAMN BLURB YOU PAIR OF HACKS!
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
Click below for some Jeffrey Lewis images in the SILENCE! GALLERY… Read the rest of this entry »
SILENCE! #33
October 1st, 2012
OODLES AND OODLES OF O’S, YOU KNOW, YOU GET ‘EM FROM MY SISTER, YOU GET ‘EM FROM MY BRO!
In this veeeeeeerrrrrry special edition of the People’s Choice Award-winning Podcast, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are broadcasting LIVE! from the inaugural and exclusive SILENCECON 2012! Live! from the exclusive ‘micro-suite’ of the Hard Rock Hotel in the Younited Staytes of Ameryka’s very own Las Vegas!!! Get ready for EXCLUSIVITY you lucky, lucky insects.
I really shouldn’t have to say more than that to get you listening, but since I get paid by the word, I’m going to soldier on. The SILENCE! NEWS features an exclusive mini-interview from roving reporter Lactus with Nao of Brown’s Glyn Dillon, and some other EXTREMELY EXXXCLUSIVE stuff too.
Then it’s on to a bumper stuffed edition of comics shenanigafoolery and let me tell you the boys are so excited, and they just can’t hide it. They’re about to shit their pants and they think they like it!
So let’s get our hands dirty:
ITEMS! Ultra-grime from notorious pantomime villain Grant Morrison with Happy! Awesome Doopism in Wolverine & The X-Men; Doombots a-go-go in the Incredible Hulk; Facial traumas a-plenty in Fury: Max; NY Punk vs UK Punk and shit magic in general in JL: Dark; Rucka-isms abound in Stumptown; The real Avengers return with Steed & Mrs Peel; Dalrymple, missile farms and Captain Quest in Prophet; The Batmen of many colours in Batman Inc; Dead Edwardians in the New Deadwardians; Pretty pointlessness in Ozymandias, Beto-pulp in Fatima & The Bloodspinners and finally Space: Punisher which somehow sparks a discussion about Krull, Spacehunter and The Golden Child.
The drug-themed SILENT Question comes from lovable old ex-Venom addict Bane, and the answers include Nuke, Robocop 2, Umpty candy, Foo Goo, David Lloyd, Wasteland, Miraclo, and Spin.
Finally The Beast unleashes his new section (and the girls squeal) in The Smallest Press, covering self-publishing treats such as the grindcore love letter Death Trap from Lane Milburn, and the creepy/saucy treat Too Dark To See from Julia Gfrörer.
It’s all here along with a guest appearance from Robbity-Bobbity and non-stop SILENCECON EXCLUSIVITY and SPECIALNESS, in the barrel of hot monkey-shit that is….SILENCE!
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
Click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…
SILENCE! #32
September 24th, 2012
I’M CRUSHING YOUR HEAD!
This is it people – the ultimate listening experience you can do with your ears…comics, people, people talking about comics, comics talking about people, people talking about comics again….IT’S ALL HERE! IN SILENCE! no.32!!!
After the usual shit-bubbling from the two half-wits that pass for presenters on this farrago, the SILENCE! News comes and goes like a sex pest in the night, with a digression into Chuck Jones and Pat Mills. With nary a thought to listener safety or interest the podcasteers catapult themselves midrift first into the weeks comics. No muss, no fuss, let’s do this:
James Stokoe’s Godzilla, Justice League! no.0, Daredevil, Jordan Crane’s Uptight, The Shadow, The Walking Dead, Ghost, Revival, AVX: The Avengers, and Nite Owl.
The SILENT Question comes from Frank Castle and the answer involves Jim Woodring’s Frank, Jonny Ryan’s Prison Pit and Zenith: Phase 1.
Lactus reviews his underpants in notcomics, and after that adventrure in undercrackers The Beast talks up Nick Abadzis’ wonderful Hugo Tate collection and recalls Deadline in general. Then there’s a nod towards a fascinating interview with Brit comics mover and shaker, Dave Elliott, and Lactus pimps his wares like the painted French tart he so clearly is, with another Comedy Spot.
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.
SILENCE! #31
September 18th, 2012
WHAT ABOUT YOU MACREADY…YOU BELIEVE ANY OF THIS VOODOO BULLSHIT?
Yesyesyesyesyes…them boys will do us proud! Watch now as they lead us skipping merrily towards the churning, swirling waters of the River Styx…with the nudest podcast in comics, SILENCE!
Firstly Lactus has his guitar unsheathed and isn’t afraid to use it. Then it’s the SILENCE News (which is in all honesty an extended pimp session for Glyn Dillon’s Nao of Brown as well as a big-up of Brit comics hero Paul Gravett). THEN, the newly sponsored Beast and the always sponsored Lactus barge into the week’s comics like a couple of burly lady wrestlers.
And there’s a whole heap of comics to talk through too, like, oh let’s see…Rocketeer Cargo of Doom, the beautiful looking Winter Soldier, Saucer Country, Wolverine & The X-Men, Uncanny X-Force, AVX, AVX: Uncanny X-Men, Avengers Assemble, Shade, Incredible Hulk, The Creep, and Frankenstein Agent of SHADE.
Then there’s a special guest review of Batman #0 from friend of the show The Wange, and the SILENT Question is brought to you from Machine Man (and the answers involve Ultron, Herbie, Call Me Kennneth, GI Robot and the ABC muthafuckin Warriors).
Add in ANOTHER Dredd (3D) review from The Beast and a recommendation to listen to the Nerdist podcast with Henry Rollins and you have a truly revolutionary audio-visual-taste explosion in 4-D…it truly is SILENCE no.31 and you’re not.
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London
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