Mindless Ones

CHARLIE, DON’T WANT ANOTHER BEER, TONIGHT I’M GONNA DRINK MY TEARS

<ITEM> What is this disgusting Graphic Novel craze that is haunting the nation’s children?

<ITEM> Banish your shameful floppy addiction and get into the hardback stuff with this week’s rollicking and rambling edition of SILENCE!

<ITEM> This week sponsored a lot by Library – the greatest bookshop there has been or could ever be…

<ITEM> The lovable but sadly now fully attached (sorry gels) The Beast Must Die is flipping still on his holy honeymoon, meaning Gary is forced to recruit bobsy for more of his baneful civilising influence!

<ITEM> There are some riveting personal questions to be had and then!

<ITEM> Gasp as The Tall and his thrall batter their way into the reviewniverse, there to discuss the unique and neglected phenomenonenom of the Graphic Novel – a new type of comic that isn’t for kids! We cover such good’uns as Adamtine by local produce Hannah Berry, Cave In and Daybreak by the thundering Brian Ralph, Judge Dredd in Satan’s Island by Wagner & co, before swimming over to Fishtown by Kevin Colden.

<AND> the mysteriously entwined nautical pair of Set to Sea by Drew Weing and Black Lung by Chris Wright.

<AND> then into a brief and tenuous discussion of Nobrow #7 and the same publisher’s marvelous Jean Baptiste Baigorri 1: Cramond Island by Irkus M. Zeberio.

<ITEM> Normal service exists in the form of hasty reviews of monthly floppybooks Mysterious Strangers #4, Fairlaine the Goblin #1, Gambit #17, Sex Criminals #1, Sex #whevs, Wolverine and the X-Men and Jupiter’s Cheggersy before we suddenly realise we’d rather get on with our normal lives, for a bit, at least.

<ITEM> Oh, and at the start we talk about Saga #14 too. SPOILERS: only liars and the brain-damaged like Saga, but if comics needs another TV show – and soon – in order to keep the concept farm open for another year then yes, by all means give it another award.

click to download SILENCE!#78

Contact us:
[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. There are quite literally almost zero swear words to be heard in this episode of the world’s finest comics podcast.

Oh, and GOSH!

COME ON IT’S A NICE DAY TO START AGAIN

<ITEM> There is no such thing as Disembodied Narratorbot-Xetc.

<ITEM> There is just a happily married man having a nice pretend.

<ITEM> Human-ape intelligence is fantasy. Robot intelligence is a holocaust. Human on human is brain plus.

<ITEM>There is no The Beast Must Die this week, while he licks his honeymooning lips with Tyra and the Next Top Models crew in Bali

<ITEM> So Gary Lactus summons from his box the poor substitute indeed of bobsy mindless, to join him for the first ever CUSS FREE edition of SILENCE!

<ITEM> After a bitterly begrudged birthday song for a listener who’s having an absolutely horrid time in the famously awful island paradise of Hawaii, Gary and his less charismatic new sidekick get on that comics thing

<ITEM> With the air between them crackling with Belgian chemical energy and technical shittery all over the place our aging boyoboys tackle such comics as ZERO #1, Mars Attacks Judge Dredd, Resident Alien, Superior Spider-Man, Thor God (not Prince) of Thunder, Batman ’66, Dial E #1, FBP #3, Magic Whistle #13, Uncanny X-Men, Infinity, New Avengers, Captain Marvel, Daredevil, 2000AD and The Phoenix.

click to download SILENCE!#77

Contact us:
[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. There are quite literally almost zero swear words to be heard in this episode of the world’s finest comics podcast.

Oh, and GOSH!

I HAD SO MANY PROBLEMS, BUT THEN I GOT ME A WALKMAN

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 enters the arena.

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is experimenting with minimalism. Has been shopping at virtu-Ikea, reading Raymond Carver and listening to Basic Channel. Minimal. Haiku. Unclutter your life, unclutter your mind.

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is much calmer now. Inside Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735’s mind is an empty room. With a picture of a cow on the wall.

<ITEM> A reunitification of sorts as Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die once again share the same aural space.

<ITEM> Sponsorship chattle and prattle. Anti-advertising. Well done.

<ITEM> Let’s move together in a crab-like fashion into The Reviewniverse. Much talk of comics, including Villain’s Month, Batman: Black & White, Prophet, Mighty Avengers, Astro City, Avengers Arena, Walking Dead, God Is Dead, X-Men: Battle of the Atom, Captain America, Lose, and The Best of Milligan & McCarthy.

See. Minimal. Calm. A boat gently rocks on a still glassy sea.

But a storm is brewing fleshlings.

click to download SILENCE!#76

Contact us:
[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL?!

Hello, Gary Lactus here.  Just back from The Beast Must Die’s stag do in Belgium.  It was good.  We dressed The Beast up as an egg and went Devalkarting.  I still ache.  Anyway, The Beast Must Die was last seen disappearing into some haunted woods on a drunken werewolf hunt with Narratorbot X-15735.  Hopefully he’ll turn up again before the wedding.

So it’s one of those disappointingly solo efforts this week, squeezed out between jobs, recorded on the hoof through the streets at night. Also on a bus and in my bedroom on my spaceship in space just before my bath. Sounds thrilling right? A BUS! JUST IMAGINE! Well there’s no need to imagine because it’s here and it’s real! I talk about X-Men: Battle of the Atom, Forever Evil, Deadshot, Satellite Sam, Trillium, Avengers AI, FF, Bat Slaps and more!

click to download SILENCE!#75

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

I PUT DOWN MY BLANKET ON CIGARETTE BUT BEACH, I SAW THE OLD MAN HE WAS DOING OK

Don’t you want Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 baby? Don’t you want Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735? Oh.

Those two unimpressive moons are once again orbiting the great planet of comics… That’s right it’s a full double-fisting edition of the comics podcast that might have been recently labeled ‘a national disgrace’ by frothing right wing cartoon knob-jockey Richard Littlejohn. You couldn’t make it up meatsacks!  The Beast Must Die & Gary Lactus entwined in each others strong yet tender arms cooing sweet nothings into each others ears and letting YOU dear listener into their boudoir.

<ITEM> The Beast has a report from his recent sojourn to Caption Comics Festival, and Gary Lactus does some listening. There’s talk of kids comics, Al Davison, Eddie Campbell and tatty village halls. GLAMOUR.

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse is opened like a particularly large oyster and inside is the pearl of COMICS…a shame-faced Beast is soundly trounced i the comics reading comics competition by eager beaver Gary, with ensuing discussion of The Outliers, Solid State Tank Girl, Innvincible Haggard West, Resident Alien, Daredevil, Lobster Johnson, Batman 66, Justice League Dark, Infinity, Rocketeer & Spirit and The Mysterious Strangers…

<ITEM> Mention is made of the 11 o’clock comics podcast special with Brandon Graham and The Beast froths about the Batman: Brave & The Bold cartoon. Always so contemporary that Beast.

And that’s enough, meatbags. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is going to kick back and listen to Kendrick whilst scanning vintage circuit board  pornography. Bring me the cyber-vaseline and get out of here!

click to download SILENCE!#74

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

FUCK A JOHN WAYNE

 Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is sad to say that Gary Lactus is no longer with us…he is in Edinburgh doing some ‘stand-up’, ‘comedy’ mission. Ha ha, You thought that  Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 meant he was dead! Gullible meatbags.

But seriously I disintegrated him this morning.

So you get solo-Silence with The Beast Must Die – STOP CRYING! – as  Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  was saying, you get solo-Silence. Boo-hoo , all better now.

<ITEM> a brand new one-off theme tune and a GOSH comics jingle? Surely you spoil us Beasty one..?

<ITEM> TBMD slot himself into The Reviewniverse to talk about some stuff, including Incredible Hulk, Catalyst Comix, Dial H (final issue), Prophet and a bit more too!

<ITEM> A small play depicting Matt Fraction and Howard Chaykin talking about Satellite Sam…? Stop, my beating diodes!

<ITEM> a long winded monologue about comics virtuoso Michel DeForge, taking in Lose no.5 and Very casual.

<ITEM> A personal message from Jesus no less

NO MORE ITEMS! Go away now and come back next time.  Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  promises that you will get the Complete Deal, The Full Works, The Whole Kt and Kaboodle….The one true SILENCE!

click to download SILENCE!#73

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

THEN RICHIE, RICHIE SAID “HEY MAN LET’S DRESS UP LIKE COPS, THINK OF WHAT WE COULD DO?”

Boy let me tell you that Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is super-pumped for the synergistic mind-mapping we have planned for this afternoon’s info-dump session…there will be Power Points out the wazzoo, and information will be cascaded down upon the fleshy ones like shimmerimg mercury…

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 really feels that he has a lot to offer the corporation. Offer the hearts, skin and faces of the fleshy ones for example…

Oh hello SILENCERS, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 did not see you all there, waiting eagerly little  glistening fish-eyes blinking in anticipation. Well wait no more as SILENCE, the comics podcast that is all out of bubblegum, is here.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die wade through the greasy sponsorship shallows.

<ITEM>SILENCE NEWS with discussion of the newest Whoest Dr Who and of course America’s Next Top Model (do not ask)

<ITEM> Left foot in, left foot out, in out, in out…GET INTO THE REVIEWNIVERSE YOU WOODLICE!!! Comics discussed include Batman Inc and the end of Grant Morrison’s seven year Bat-opus…The Wake, Collider, Batman: Zero Year (Directors Cut), Uber, Daredevil, Hulk, FF, Adventures of Superman, Tom Strong, Optic Nerve, Sex, Wolverine & The X-Men, Gamma, Jupiter’s Legacy, Superior Spiderman and..well no that’s it. What more do you need you ungrateful meatsacks?

click to download SILENCE!#72

So that’s it. Now get out of here, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has a conference call to set up with some very important and not in any way imaginary people.
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

HELLO.

HELLO.

IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK.

Rejoice fleshburgs – it’s everyone’s favourite cyber-Uncle, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 returned from his cyber-vacation, tanned to within and inch of my half life and riddled with exotic viruses from the far-flung corners of the nanosphere.

And to double your fantasy I’m bringing the return of errant Silence-son, The Beast Must Die, who rejoins with pod-partner Gary Lactus in an reunion event which Variety describes as ‘mawkish, hackneyed and uninspired! Happy Happy Joy Joy fleshyones, couldn’t you just POP?

Well go on then. POP!

Hrrrmmn. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 can wait along time you know.  While we wait, let’s blurb:

<ITEM> Gary’s quest is over and the pair are reunited. WARNING TEAM!

<ITEM> No time for news, through the tears, but always time for sponsorshizzle.

<ITEM> Down a dusty path, through a hole in the floor, and into the REVIEWNIVERSE! Covering Gamma, Hawkeye Annual, Tank Girl: Solid State, FF (Beach Blanket Bingo), Justice League of America, Justice League Dark, Constantine in spandex and booties, The Bounce, Catalyst Comics, Lazarus, The Wake, Young Avengers, 2000AD, Max Landis, Wolverine, Wolverine & The X-Men, The Wolverine film, and Where’s Wolverine (maybe), The Hunger, Green Team and more, more more (how do you like me?)

<ITEM> A shout out for the Nerdist Jeff Bridges interview, and the Nerdist Comics Panel, and it’s farewell from the boyce, but they can both sleep restfully knowing that balance has been restored, yin has been yanged and Turner has been Hooched. Huzzah!

All this and the knowledge that Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is here, watching you all. Waiting. For you to POP.

BZZZZTZTZZKKKKK

click to download SILENCE!#71
 

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

This week Gary Lactus continues his tediously thrilling quest to find The Beast Must Die. Along the way he finds a BUMPER CROP OF JINGLES!

In the reviewniverse he bravely tackles The Mysterious Strangers #1&2, Wonder Woman #22, Animal Man #22, Justice League of America #6, Batman 66 #1, Number Cruncher #1, Avengers Assemble #17 and FF #9.

Then we have a Cartoon County chat with Solid State Tank Girl artist Warwick Johnson Cadwell.

Strap on and let’s go!

click to download SILENCE!#70

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.