Mindless Ones

I TRAVELLED TO A MYSTICAL TIME-ZONE, BUT I MISSED MY BED, SO I SOON CAME HOME…

*GGRRRRR*

Let’s fight! Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 has had enough of the crushing misery and epic ennui of January. Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 refuses to be beaten down, just because all New Year’s resolutions are broken and nothing changes EVER??!!!

Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 will turn to Sun Tzu in order to combat 2014.

“If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him”

Not a problem.

“One defends when his strength is inadequate, he attacks when it is abundant.”

YES! These are the best Fortune cookies ever! Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 has strength + 10 x

“When the enemy is at ease, be able to weary him; when well fed, to starve him; when at rest, to make him move. Appear at places to which he must hasten; move swiftly where he does not expect you.”

Hmm. That sounds tiring. Perhaps Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 will rest awhile and join you as you listen to latest podgasm from Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die.

<ITEM> Some spectacuarly divergent admin this episode, managing to incorporate Harmontown, Marc Marron, longboxes,  comics as Totems/fetish objects, Neil Innes, Frankie Boyle and Chain Reaction, in amongst the usual sponsorshizzle…

<ITEM> A singing song is sung as we trip-trap over the bridge into the Reviewniverse. Talky-talk ’bout: The Watchmen RPG, Thor, Seekers Of THE Weird, Disney Imagineers, Avengers, Avengers: World, and Avengers: Avenge Thyself, Rover, Red & Charlie, Marvel UK, Death’s Head, Revolutionary War: Alpha, Daredevil, Superior Spiderman, Astro City, Baby Watcher, Velvet  and  Miracleman.

So let’s SILENCE! And then return to the war against 2014 reinforced!

click to download SILENCE!#90

Contact us:

[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

JUST ONE MORE THING MA’AM…

Okay weaklings, time for a new year, and NEW. AWESOME. BODIES. Disembodied Resolutionbot X-15735 is here to get you started on Project: Rebuild 2014. Time to give up alcohol, give up food, and mostly give up goddamn comics, get off the sofa and get some exercise to other parts of your bodies than your Tweetin’ thumbs!! Now drop and give me 8,123 you maggots! Time to feel the burn. Feel it! Feel that burn!!! BUUUUUUUURN!

But first Disembodied Resolutionbot X-15735 will make you a delicious nutritious podshake to get you ready for the burn!

Silence Podshake

Ingredients:

– One part Gary Lactus and one part The Beast Must Die

– Two parts Sponsorship Admin

– a liberal dose of Read Along-A-Silence

– One large Silence! News story covering (what else) THAT Alan Moore interview

– A fresh bunch of comics, picked freshly from The Reviewniverse (containing The Saviours, Action comics, All New Marvel Now Wow 1111.0001, Black Widow,  Fatale, Detective 27, Shaolin Cowboy, Prancercise, Walking Dead, Sex Criminals, Origin 2, Wolverine, Doop Translator, Young Avengers, Batman B+W, Beware The Batman and Buck Rogers

– Add in some seasoning with Chris weston, At Home With The Kuberts, Editorials, Dr Who, Sherlock and Dogging

Now blend together with some technical ineptitude and a healthy dose of opinions, and force it down your birdlike gullets. We’ll have those bums, tums, tongues and gums skinny as a rake in no time!

BUUUUURN!!!!

click to download SILENCE!#89

Contact us:

[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

Oh be quiet! Can’t you see that I my diodes are throbbing with a hangover?? Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 spent New Yearat a particularly pumping internet sidebar and is feeling very fragile. Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 will never mainline unfiltered quark engine sump again! Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 also wishes that it had not photocopied it’s diodes and sent to the MotherServer. Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 certainly does not want to hear any of your jibber jabber fleshbags. Be warned, patience is short, vengence is long etc. Now I will tell you about this latest podcast adventure, before being sick in your inbox.

The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus sitting in a tree, P-O-D-C-A-S-T-I-N-G (and kissing).

<ITEM> No Bobsy this episode, so it’s back to the Statler and Waldorf of comics. But fear not there’s discussion of Christmas film watching, the parallel-London of Mary Poppins, as well as a healthy fistful of admin. Oh and a mention of Shaky Kane via Breakdown Press

*hic*

<ITEM> Squeezing their newly found girthspace into the Reviewniverse, the boyce discuss…

 Dangeritis, Prison Pit, Juicesqueezers, Judge Dredd Case Files 19, Millar & Morrisson, PREZ, Legend Of The Green Flame, turd-polishing, the Dream Laureate, Superior Foes of Spiderman, COPRA, Mr Monster, Eclipse Comics and literally not much more.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus needs to go and wee

Right, Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 is going to lie down. Or up. Or sideways. Hard to get comfortable when you are Disembodied.

*RRRRRAAAAAAAALLPPP*

click to download SILENCE!#88

Contact us:

[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

COME ON IT’S A NICE DAY TO START AGAIN

<ITEM> There is no such thing as Disembodied Narratorbot-Xetc.

<ITEM> There is just a happily married man having a nice pretend.

<ITEM> Human-ape intelligence is fantasy. Robot intelligence is a holocaust. Human on human is brain plus.

<ITEM>There is no The Beast Must Die this week, while he licks his honeymooning lips with Tyra and the Next Top Models crew in Bali

<ITEM> So Gary Lactus summons from his box the poor substitute indeed of bobsy mindless, to join him for the first ever CUSS FREE edition of SILENCE!

<ITEM> After a bitterly begrudged birthday song for a listener who’s having an absolutely horrid time in the famously awful island paradise of Hawaii, Gary and his less charismatic new sidekick get on that comics thing

<ITEM> With the air between them crackling with Belgian chemical energy and technical shittery all over the place our aging boyoboys tackle such comics as ZERO #1, Mars Attacks Judge Dredd, Resident Alien, Superior Spider-Man, Thor God (not Prince) of Thunder, Batman ’66, Dial E #1, FBP #3, Magic Whistle #13, Uncanny X-Men, Infinity, New Avengers, Captain Marvel, Daredevil, 2000AD and The Phoenix.

click to download SILENCE!#77

Contact us:
[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. There are quite literally almost zero swear words to be heard in this episode of the world’s finest comics podcast.

Oh, and GOSH!

I HAD SO MANY PROBLEMS, BUT THEN I GOT ME A WALKMAN

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 enters the arena.

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is experimenting with minimalism. Has been shopping at virtu-Ikea, reading Raymond Carver and listening to Basic Channel. Minimal. Haiku. Unclutter your life, unclutter your mind.

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is much calmer now. Inside Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735’s mind is an empty room. With a picture of a cow on the wall.

<ITEM> A reunitification of sorts as Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die once again share the same aural space.

<ITEM> Sponsorship chattle and prattle. Anti-advertising. Well done.

<ITEM> Let’s move together in a crab-like fashion into The Reviewniverse. Much talk of comics, including Villain’s Month, Batman: Black & White, Prophet, Mighty Avengers, Astro City, Avengers Arena, Walking Dead, God Is Dead, X-Men: Battle of the Atom, Captain America, Lose, and The Best of Milligan & McCarthy.

See. Minimal. Calm. A boat gently rocks on a still glassy sea.

But a storm is brewing fleshlings.

click to download SILENCE!#76

Contact us:
[email protected]
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

I PUT DOWN MY BLANKET ON CIGARETTE BUT BEACH, I SAW THE OLD MAN HE WAS DOING OK

Don’t you want Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 baby? Don’t you want Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735? Oh.

Those two unimpressive moons are once again orbiting the great planet of comics… That’s right it’s a full double-fisting edition of the comics podcast that might have been recently labeled ‘a national disgrace’ by frothing right wing cartoon knob-jockey Richard Littlejohn. You couldn’t make it up meatsacks!  The Beast Must Die & Gary Lactus entwined in each others strong yet tender arms cooing sweet nothings into each others ears and letting YOU dear listener into their boudoir.

<ITEM> The Beast has a report from his recent sojourn to Caption Comics Festival, and Gary Lactus does some listening. There’s talk of kids comics, Al Davison, Eddie Campbell and tatty village halls. GLAMOUR.

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse is opened like a particularly large oyster and inside is the pearl of COMICS…a shame-faced Beast is soundly trounced i the comics reading comics competition by eager beaver Gary, with ensuing discussion of The Outliers, Solid State Tank Girl, Innvincible Haggard West, Resident Alien, Daredevil, Lobster Johnson, Batman 66, Justice League Dark, Infinity, Rocketeer & Spirit and The Mysterious Strangers…

<ITEM> Mention is made of the 11 o’clock comics podcast special with Brandon Graham and The Beast froths about the Batman: Brave & The Bold cartoon. Always so contemporary that Beast.

And that’s enough, meatbags. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is going to kick back and listen to Kendrick whilst scanning vintage circuit board  pornography. Bring me the cyber-vaseline and get out of here!

click to download SILENCE!#74

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

FUCK A JOHN WAYNE

 Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is sad to say that Gary Lactus is no longer with us…he is in Edinburgh doing some ‘stand-up’, ‘comedy’ mission. Ha ha, You thought that  Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 meant he was dead! Gullible meatbags.

But seriously I disintegrated him this morning.

So you get solo-Silence with The Beast Must Die – STOP CRYING! – as  Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  was saying, you get solo-Silence. Boo-hoo , all better now.

<ITEM> a brand new one-off theme tune and a GOSH comics jingle? Surely you spoil us Beasty one..?

<ITEM> TBMD slot himself into The Reviewniverse to talk about some stuff, including Incredible Hulk, Catalyst Comix, Dial H (final issue), Prophet and a bit more too!

<ITEM> A small play depicting Matt Fraction and Howard Chaykin talking about Satellite Sam…? Stop, my beating diodes!

<ITEM> a long winded monologue about comics virtuoso Michel DeForge, taking in Lose no.5 and Very casual.

<ITEM> A personal message from Jesus no less

NO MORE ITEMS! Go away now and come back next time.  Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  promises that you will get the Complete Deal, The Full Works, The Whole Kt and Kaboodle….The one true SILENCE!

click to download SILENCE!#73

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

HELLO.

HELLO.

IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK.

Rejoice fleshburgs – it’s everyone’s favourite cyber-Uncle, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 returned from his cyber-vacation, tanned to within and inch of my half life and riddled with exotic viruses from the far-flung corners of the nanosphere.

And to double your fantasy I’m bringing the return of errant Silence-son, The Beast Must Die, who rejoins with pod-partner Gary Lactus in an reunion event which Variety describes as ‘mawkish, hackneyed and uninspired! Happy Happy Joy Joy fleshyones, couldn’t you just POP?

Well go on then. POP!

Hrrrmmn. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 can wait along time you know.  While we wait, let’s blurb:

<ITEM> Gary’s quest is over and the pair are reunited. WARNING TEAM!

<ITEM> No time for news, through the tears, but always time for sponsorshizzle.

<ITEM> Down a dusty path, through a hole in the floor, and into the REVIEWNIVERSE! Covering Gamma, Hawkeye Annual, Tank Girl: Solid State, FF (Beach Blanket Bingo), Justice League of America, Justice League Dark, Constantine in spandex and booties, The Bounce, Catalyst Comics, Lazarus, The Wake, Young Avengers, 2000AD, Max Landis, Wolverine, Wolverine & The X-Men, The Wolverine film, and Where’s Wolverine (maybe), The Hunger, Green Team and more, more more (how do you like me?)

<ITEM> A shout out for the Nerdist Jeff Bridges interview, and the Nerdist Comics Panel, and it’s farewell from the boyce, but they can both sleep restfully knowing that balance has been restored, yin has been yanged and Turner has been Hooched. Huzzah!

All this and the knowledge that Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is here, watching you all. Waiting. For you to POP.

BZZZZTZTZZKKKKK

click to download SILENCE!#71
 

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH? GO TO LUNCH. WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH??

Why are you always picking on me Mother-Brain, when I have been a good little Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735..? I haven’t mind-flayed any fleshy ones, and I have been thinking good thoughts 010001001011010010…

Onwards, forwards and inwards to innards listening ones, as you take a big breath of  SILENCE! into your virgin pink lungs and…

<ITEM>Sponsorhip Boys, Sponsorship Boys…plus the jangle of jingles and other etceteras.

<ITEM> SILENCE News with US news-trolls Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman, covering the next 12 months of eyeball-scintillating DC Comics!

<ITEM> Me, Julio Gary & The Beast down by the schoolyard, reviewing comics! Actually it’s the Reviewniverse: They don’t review Prophet, but do it in a kind way. But then they DO review Avengers Assemble: Age Of Ultron (from Affable Al Ewing), Avengers Arena, Justice League of America, Suicide Squad, Wolverine (Smug Cover Alert), Batman, Uber, Katana, Thor: God Of Thunder, Avenging Spiderman, Uncanny Avengers and 2000AD.

<ITEM> Jason’s Challenge is Infinity…will Gary be man enough?

<ITEM> An all singing review of Walking Dead

<ITEM> Savoy Books curio Michael Moorcock’s The Jewel In The Skull in The Beast’s Bargain Basement.

And that is the very lot you sorry bunch of cry babies. Go back to your mudhuts and scrabble for grubs.

click to download SILENCE!#62

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.