Mindless Ones

 

PA RUM PUM PUM PUM

It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas. The goose is on the ground, the snow is getting fat. Welcome to the none-more-festive edition of SILENCE! This is it folks, the culmination of 100’s of hours of work – choreographers, lighting, a full orchestra, special guest stars, yule logs burning on open fires, christmas fucking jumpers…absolutely NONE of this will appear on this SILENCE! Christmas Special!! What you will get is Gary Lactus, too ill to podcast and lying on the sofa, beloved Bobsy representing in full effect and The Beast Must Die holding it all together like some hirsute Michael Parkinson. We can’t promise you eggnog, but we can promise a hot pocket full of comics chat to warm your jingle bells in this most wonderful time of the year. Strap in, strap on and prepare for docking!

<ITEM> Blimey, look what happens when the sturdy hand of the Space God is off the tiller…shambolic admin on an unimaginable level, barely remembered Sponsorship, plus our lewdest opening banter ever. Blame that pottymouthed club comedian Bobsy!

<ITEM> In a spurious nod towards our festive theme, there’s some chat about festive movies including Krampus and Scrooged. Plus the mysteries of Karen Black, Karen Allen and Margot Kidder

<ITEM> SILENCE! (Because The Film Has Started) features chat of little known B-movies Star Wars: Rogue One

<ITEM> Lo! The Reviewniverse. There’s some hefty chat about the penultimate episode of Alan Moore’s late-stage masterpiece Providence. Then the Young Animal books Doom Patrol and Shade The Changing Girl are discussed at some length. Bobsy rounds up his Thought Bubble 2016 top picks and there’s a bit of chat about Rick Veitch. Christmassy as all heck right!?

<ITEM> Lazarus-like, Gary returns with a festive kiss off, and some Christmas cheer is finally raised.

Now go forth and unwrap!

 

I KNOW IT MIGHT SOUND STRANGE BUT I BELIEVE IN THE COMING BACK BEFORE TOO LONG

In this latest pulse-shredding, nerve-shredding, skin-shredding, heart-shredding, mind-shredding, soul-shredding, bed-shredding, wedding-shredding, shred-shredding episode of SILENCE! you will two, count them two grown men discussing comics. On the internet. I know. Can you believe it? Into the brave new world we go, with pioneering hosts Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die guiding the way.

<ITEM> Listen! That’s the sound of admin in it’s natural habitat. And look! There goes a herd of Sponsorship pass by us. MR James adaptations, mince pies, and decorating the tree? It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas…Oh and plenty of cat-chat just the way you like it.

<ITEM> There’s a whole lot of wheel-spinning and flim-flam as Gary Lactus talks about some modern comics such as the Batman Annual, Deadly Class and Great Lake Avengers while TBMD tries to derail at every turn. But it’s okay, as he’s here to talk about Batman: Son of the Demon and Devlin Waugh: Chasing Herod. That’s the Reviewniverse for you. Always different, always the same.

<ITEM> Bit of chat about DC: Legends of Tomorrow, The Flash and the death-pall of Dawson’s Creek.

Then it’s out like trout (that’s a thing kids say, right?) after some shameless hucksterism and a bit of the old toodle pip.

Cindy & Biscuit are back with the conclusion to ‘The Bad Girl’. After last issues devastating cliffhanger, we catch up with the plucky pair as they continue their epic struggle with the mysterious witch girl that’s been haunting the woods, and Cindy’s life…

It’s 56 pages of mayhem, as C&B battle for their life in the strangest environment yet. Wherever it is, it’s not the woods any more, that’s for sure…it’s somewhere darker, weirder and potentially deadly!

Buy your copy at the Milk The Cat shop  HERE.

Cindy & Biscuit have been nominated twice for the British Comic Awards, and count among their fans Brandon Graham, James Stokoe, Kieron Gillen and Si Spurrier. The TCJ described his work as “immediately appealing, chunky cartooning (with an) ever-present desire to peek round the darker corners of the psych” and Forbidden Planet Blog state that “Cindy & Biscuit is a spectacular comic, full of incredible action, powerful emotions, wonderful storytelling”.

Here’s some nice pictures for your peepers to sweeten the deal:

MY CAR IS UGLY BUT THEN, I’M UGLY TOO

Welcome gentle listenoids to the latest greatest, tightest, freshest, sprucest, fittest, cutest, sweetest, sickest, foulest, slickest, toughest, ice-road truckest edition of SILENCE! the comics lifestyle magazine show challenge. With your hosts the Burke & Hare of the podcasting world, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. 

Look, I know that was below par, but sometimes…sometimes I wonder if there isn’t more to life than writing podcast blurbs y’know? For so many years I thought I’d found my true vocation, my life’s work but now…well. Now I wonder – what else is out there? What am I missing? What could I have been?

<ITEM> Bit of the old ‘how’s yer admin’? Don’t mind if I do sir! I’ll have a dash of Sponsorship with it if I might be so bold? And maybe a sprinkle of self-promotion to sweeten the deal.

<ITEM> The boys unveil their new raft of spin-off podcasts. The SILENCE! empire starts here.

<ITEM> Reviewniverse, Reviewniverse we all want to know howdoyouverse? Treats yielded include Mégalex form Alejandro Jodorowsky, Moebius’ World of Edena and District 14. I know what you’re thinking – “LA-DI-DA Mr fancypants, where are my Spiderman comics? Not here, as TBMD admits his #gaimanshame and talks about Books of Magic, Summer Magic and U2. Then it’s Patsy Walker Hellcat, Rachel Pollack’s Doom Patrol, and the Vertigo Visions one-shots Dr Occult and The Phantom Stranger.

<ITEM> Top culinary tips in SILENCE! Because my Mouth is Full of Delicious Food

Then it’s a saucy bumsqueeze for all and then home for a bath and bed.

IT IS TIME… IT IS TIME…  IT IS TIME FOR STORMY WEATHER

 

I DANCED MYSELF RIGHT OUT THE WOMB, IS IT STRANGE TO DANCE SO SOON?

Morning has broken, like the first podcast… Yowza dear listeners, you’re staring down the barrel of the earliest-recorded SILENCE! yet. Will Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, or bleary-eyed and bushy-bearded? YOU DECIDE.  Imagine a bowl of crunchy, nutritious comics flakes, sodden with the milk of human opinion, and that’s this week’s show.

<ITEM> There’s a whole heap of admin for the upcoming Thought Bubble festival, including SILENCE! TO ASTONISH live, and the Sound & Vision panel. Jinkies! Add in a bit of hasty sponsorship and you got yourself some prime admin.

<ITEM> Through the dreamsqueezers threshold  and into The Reviewniverse. Only two men singing this time – it’ll never be the same again… it’s brief but nutritious with talk of Johnny Ryan’s Angry Youth Comix, Stray Bullets, Brendan McCarthy’s Dr Fate, Shade The Changing Man and maybe a bit more. Or a mit bore?

<ITEM> The Beast recounts his visit to see John Carpenter live.

NO MORE ITEMS. See you at the festival!

That’s right puny humans, your favourite podcast has been on air for 200 years! And to celebrate those national pleasure treasures Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die invited a select group of 1200 of their closest fans to attend SILENCE! LIVE, in The Nexus Of All Realities. And then they recorded it for all you lucky, but less dedicated, dear listeners. Featuring able pod-lietentants Bobsy and Lord Nuneaton Savage, as well as an array of amazing guest voices. Comics! Talking! Drinking! It’s all here and it’s just as amateurish as you want.

<ITEM> I can’t remember what we talked about, but basically we focused on Anniversary Issues…look stop yelling at me, I’m hungover! I need some cheese on toast. Just listen to the damn podcast and write your own blurb would you? Shut the curtains on the way out would you?

BUT FOIST TRUE BELIEVERS, YA GODDA GET TREW SOILENCE #199.99 AND LEMME TELL YA IT’S A DOOZY! PIN BACK YA EAR HOLES AN’ EYE FLAPS, COS THIS IS GONNA HURT!!!!

…

Ugh…*cough*…*hack*…out…get out vile spirit. Begone from this vessel with your crass huckesterism and vile self-promotion. That’s simply not how we *do* things on SILENCE! Excuse me while I use this mouthwash…

<ITEM> After the hiatus…the OTHER hiatus!  Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are back from their Holiday Cruise and they want to talk to you! That’s right, we’re back and ready for a refreshing comics enema!

THE ENGLISH MOTORWAY SYSTEM IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRANGE

THE ENGLISH MOTORWAY SYSTEM IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRANGE

Can you help us? We went on holiday by mistake…

That’s right Boils and Giggles, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have returned to brighten the corners and blow the dust from your ear-holes. How did you cope? What did you do? Where did you go to get uninformed, half-baked opinions about comics? WHY? HOW? WHO? Well don’t fret….SILENCE! is back and all is right again in the world*

*apart from everything that’s wrong and the fact that we’ll be lucky if we make it out of the decade as a species

<ITEM> Who wants some admin? Some sponsorship? Some waffle? Digressions? Begging? Apologies? All present and correct. Your mileage may vary.

<ITEM> DIY horror and comedy gone bad

<ITEM> Top secret news about SILENCE! #200…although by ‘secret’ I mean that we’re talking about it publicly on a podcast that anyone can listen to.

<ITEM> Finally we breach…THE REVIEWNIVERSE?!!? Like a Kirby-collage it reveals it’s shimmering 4-colour splendorousness… Discussed: Stray Bullets, Batman, Blue Beetle, JLI, New Superman, Kill Or Be Killed, Falling Asleep Watching Films, Batgirl, the transience of pop culture, Sun Bakery, Sixpack & Dogwelder, Loeb & Sale’s Challengers Of The Unknown and more more more.

<ITEM> Live DIY and paint on the recorder.

<ITEM> Out-the-backdoormin and the promise of a rosy future.

Didn’t you miss us? Couldn’t you just weep?

 
Click to download SILENCE!#199
 

THE ENGLISH MOTORWAY SYSTEM IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRANGE