Mindless Ones

MY CAR IS UGLY BUT THEN, I’M UGLY TOO

Welcome gentle listenoids to the latest greatest, tightest, freshest, sprucest, fittest, cutest, sweetest, sickest, foulest, slickest, toughest, ice-road truckest edition of SILENCE! the comics lifestyle magazine show challenge. With your hosts the Burke & Hare of the podcasting world, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. 

Look, I know that was below par, but sometimes…sometimes I wonder if there isn’t more to life than writing podcast blurbs y’know? For so many years I thought I’d found my true vocation, my life’s work but now…well. Now I wonder – what else is out there? What am I missing? What could I have been?

<ITEM> Bit of the old ‘how’s yer admin’? Don’t mind if I do sir! I’ll have a dash of Sponsorship with it if I might be so bold? And maybe a sprinkle of self-promotion to sweeten the deal.

<ITEM> The boys unveil their new raft of spin-off podcasts. The SILENCE! empire starts here.

<ITEM> Reviewniverse, Reviewniverse we all want to know howdoyouverse? Treats yielded include Mégalex form Alejandro Jodorowsky, Moebius’ World of Edena and District 14. I know what you’re thinking – “LA-DI-DA Mr fancypants, where are my Spiderman comics? Not here, as TBMD admits his #gaimanshame and talks about Books of Magic, Summer Magic and U2. Then it’s Patsy Walker Hellcat, Rachel Pollack’s Doom Patrol, and the Vertigo Visions one-shots Dr Occult and The Phantom Stranger.

<ITEM> Top culinary tips in SILENCE! Because my Mouth is Full of Delicious Food

Then it’s a saucy bumsqueeze for all and then home for a bath and bed.

SICK ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE TOO, SO COME ON LET’S MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE

He had tried so hard. He had tried harder than any man had ever tried. All he wanted was to be the best at the thing he had trained for so long to best at. The thing he was born to be really good at. It was the only thing he cared about, his reason for living. It was the only thing anyone cared about. The world expected him to be the best there ever was or ever would be at the thing. The weight of the world pushed down on his shoulders as it now looked like he might not be the best at doing a thing. He couldn’t let this happen so he clenched his teeth, making his jaw muscles bulge in and out then he punched a locker and went on to become the best there is at doing the thing. Every day was like this for Tom Cruise.

Right, so this is SILENCE! #190 in which The Beast Must Die had to run off at the last minute for a very important and highly paid assassination leaving Gary Lactus to ask twitter for co hosts. He found:

Johnathan Dick, a nice chap from Virginia who talked Nick Spencer’s Steve Rogers Captain America #1 with Gary.

Al Kennedy from House To Astonish who talked DC Rebirth and Baker Street Peculiars.

The pair of them saved the day really so HOORAY FOR THEM!

It goes like this:

Click to download SILENCE!#190

Hello?  Yes, speaking. Why thank you, I quite agree.  And you rang just to tell me that?  Uhuh, go on… Right… Okay… Okay, can I just stop you there.  There’s no way I’d sell them.  They might be absolute dolts but I love them.  No!  The Galcticats are not for sale, GOOD DAY!

Damp mishaps, cheek and sponsorship occupy the admin section of the edition of SILENCE! Once in the Reviewniverse we cover Monstress, Head Lopper, Doctor Strange, Hellcat!, The Infinity Entity, Ian Finity, Jim Starlian, Alian Davis and Batman Vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Once we’re out there’s a bit of talk about Cerebus and the enduring cultural tyranny of Queen.

LET’S GO!

click to download SILENCE!#180

[email protected]

I’VE GOT YOU UNDER MY SKIN SO THE RAIN WON’T GET IN

It’s a new life, it’s a new day, it’s a new SILENCE!…and now no-one’s feeling good. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die coming on like a Seventh sense to bring you a juicy slab of comics punditry. More CLASSIC BANTS than a carful of Clarksons smashing into a real ale festival.

<ITEM> It all starts with champagne. How like life, ha ha ha!!!  Sponsorship, star-spotting, headcannons and all the shiznay you could shake a shizztick at. What lies within the Dunce Tank? Oh and the Galacticats. Of course.

<ITEM> Just the tiniest smidgin of technical bamboozlment, no deliveries and then we’re off at a steady canter towards…

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse shimmers, flexes and allows entry to it’s 4 colour wonders. Under the megascope: Ted McKeever’s Pencilhead, Phonogram, Patsy Walker Hellcat, Mark Millar’s Huck, Injection, Blackball Comics, Blast Furnace, American Monster, Batman and a crank load more.

<ITEM> It’s the Beast’s Birthday!

And that, in a very real sense, is all folks.

click to download SILENCE!#173

WE ARE THE HOLLOW MEN, WE ARE THE STUFFED MEN

Should old appliances be forgot and never brought round to mine,
I’ll remind you that you need to return my strimmer before springtime.

Happy new year, Dear Listener! As the pine needles drop liberally from the Christmas tree, so your loving hosts drop facts, opinions and bullshit onto your carpet/brain.

I hope we’ve all made New Year’s Resolutions? I know we have – our resolution is to bring you the VERY BEST AND MOST GREATEST PODCAST ON THE INTERNET! Well that didn’t take us long to achieve! Cos here we are with a brand new healthy living version of SILENCE!!