SILENCE! #260

December 19th, 2018

 

THERE’S A BOX FULL OF SHOWER-GELS, I’VE LEFT AROUND THE WORLD

It’s SILENCE!, there’s no need to be afraid
At SILENCE!, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at SILENCE!
But say a prayer, pray for the other ones
At SILENCE! it’s hard, but when you’re having fun
There’s a world outside your window
And it’s a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you
And there won’t be snow in Africa this SILENCE!
The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it’s SILENCE! at all?
Here’s to you
Raise a glass for everyone
Here’s to them
Underneath that burning sun
Do they know it’s SILENCE! at all?
Eat the world
Eat the world
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again
Eat! the world
Let them know it’s SILENCE! again

<ITEM> INSERT FESTIVE! It’s the SILENCE! XMAS DING-DONG CRACKErJACK SPECTACULAR! AND YOU’RE ALL INVITED! Lock the door…they’re in now.

<ITEM> Well we’re all feeling very festive indeed aren’t we? Yes we are. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not there can be no uncertainty that the geese are gaining weight. So put a Yule log on the radiator and cosy up for 2+ hours of comics-adjacent chat with your pals The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus!

<ITEM> Inside this overstuffed figgy pudding of an episode you’re going to find the following: The Christmas Chronicles, The Immortal Hulk, Enjoyable Conversations in Glasgow bu David Kerr, Hard Boiled, Safari Honeymoon, 2000AD prog 2111, Best of lists, My Two Dads 600, Bat-Thing, Driving Britain, Secret Cosmic Heroes of Infinite Crisis…of the Gods, Doomsday Cock and a whole lot more

<ITEM> Who is…what is…The House of Ideas??

 

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #258

November 16th, 2018

 

I’VE BECOME A GIANT, I FILL EVERY STREET

y’know yer my besssht pal, y’know? I love you mate, I rilly rilly…love you. Yer a real pal. Besht mates. Thass what we are. Besh..besht. I know, I know I’ve had few…a few beersh but..iss still true, yknow? Me ‘n’ you…we’ve bin through a lot y’know? But we’re shtill..besht…besht,..

*HWWWRRARRRRRAAAAAALLLPPH*

Ohhh…ohh. shorry man….shorry about yer…yer shoes…

So whaddya shay pal? Can you help out an old out-of-work…hic…blurb writer?

<ITEM> It’s a brand spanking new spanking in the form of SILENCE!, the world’s premier weekly lifestyle podcast. Join Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die as they lead you down the merry country lanes of comics chat and easy bonhomie. A veritable tonic in this sea of hideousness.

<ITEM> Some classic sponsorship, some legendary admin, and most likely a bit of dadmin

<ITEM> Tip-toe…through the Reviewniverse…as the podpals  take on Grant Morrison’s Green Lantern, Mister Miracle and the Punisher

<ITEM>  We interrupt the Reviewniverse for some urgent Sadmin, with the passing of the legendary Stan Lee!

<ITEM> We detour from the Sadmin into a bit of Cudmin, with Gary Lactus’ tales of going to see the erstwhile band Cud live, and then the Beast regales a tale of going to see an exhibition of Chris ‘Mauretania’ Reynolds art.

<ITEM> Then we pivot back to the Reviewniverse for some last comics morsels, with The Fantastic Four and The Many Deaths of The Batman. Phew! We’re through the Looking Glass here people!!!

THE END!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #257

October 30th, 2018

 

THIS SKILLED TRADE LIKE A TAILOR-MADE SUEDE, HIT THE STUDIO AND I’M PAID

Is there anybody there…?

If you’re there, speak now. Or…let us know you can hear us.

Just a sound. Any sound. To let us know.

There are loved ones here who want to speak to you…

THERE! DID YOU HEAR THAT?

Words! Words, coming through the ether…forming…what is it that you are trying to tell us..? Wait. I don’t understand…Item? Are yo trying to say item..?

<ITEM> Welcome to the latest, greatest, invite you out on a datest, edition of SILENCE!!! The internet’s first and only podcast with your spooky old pals, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die.

<ITEM> Admin, sponsorship and the whole nine yards. Nine yards of what? QUALITY!

<ITEM> She heavy duty Sadmin, with the passing of two comics titans Norm Breyfogle and Carlos Ezquerra

<ITEM> The gang are still lost in time, so who knows what happens when. Know this: they definitely enter the Reviewniverse and talk about the Immortal Hulk, Tank Girl All Stars, Michael Kupperman’s All The Answers, Give Me Liberty, The Scream & Misty Halloween Special, the Justice League film and probably some more

<ITEM> Just time to talk about the brilliant Halloween edition of Inside No.9, then it’s all bad to the morgue for a quick Monster Mash.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #256

October 11th, 2018

 

YOU’RE GONNA BE REMEMBERED FOR THE THINGS THAT YOU SAY AND DO

If you only knew the existential dread with which I approach the writing of these blurbs. The loaded Colt 45 is sat on the table in front of me. Could this be the week? Come on. It’s easy. Just … just write something witty. Or pithy. Or surreal. Cold, dead lump of metal in my hand. It’s easy. Just write it. Find that concept. Something to hang your hat on. Something. Just. Write. Squeezing the trigger now. Just that sprung lever gently…gently…

Oh wait! I’ve got it!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

<ITEM> Welcome to the latest weekly edition of the internet’s most regular podcast, SILENCE! The podcast equivalent of All-Bran we are! Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die, ah-coming on like a seventh sense!

<ITEM> God knows – look this bastard was recorded across different times, locations and dimensions. It’s got everything in it and nothing. All life is contained here. The answer to the ultimate question could be in here. What’s definitely in here though is…

Neighbours, Gary Lactus experiments with being right wing,  TBMD explains comics gate to stupid old Gary Lactus,  Redundant chat about the upcoming Thought Bubble which has by this point been and gone, Komisk,  Sticky Ribs,  The Beast has seen Infinity War,  Gary and Little Barry Lactus on the park with a little bit of talk about Fantastic Four #2 and The March Hare,  TBMD talking Knights of Pendragon,  Recording of Ben Mitchell talking about The Storm Cloud Story from Thought Bubble,  Silence To Astonish! with guests John McRea, Sam Humphries, Matthew Rosenberg and Babs Tarr, Post Tbubz chat, Doctor Who, Comedy and Errors written by Nick Bryan, Dead Rabbit and on and on and on.

 

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #255

September 14th, 2018

 

IF I COULD MOVE MY HEAD IN TIME WITH A BRIGHTER BEAT

WANTED:

One blurb, fully composed, grammatically perfect.

Essential: Pithy, original tone, mentions of Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die, SILENCE!, the Reviewniverse, admin and comics.

Desirable: Arch, conceptual structure, subversive punchline, Swiftian satire, gentle ribbing of beloved genre tropes.

(Please include mention of the following in your blurb: Thought Bubble 2018, Silence To Astonish Live, Crowded, Aliens: Labyrinth, West Coast Avengers, Tale of One Bad Rat, Tangent Comics: Tales of the Green Lantern, The New World, The Vigilant.

Please also include the phrase ‘much, much more’)

Needed: ASAP.

Please contact Silence at gmail.com with proposed blurbs. A shiny gold star is your reward.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #252

June 13th, 2018

COMPETITION TIME!!!

The first person to listen to this podcast, write a full blurb and show notes and send them to silencepodcast at gmail dot com will win FIVE GREAT BRITISH POUNDS in their paypal account.

EDIT! We have a winner! Thanks, Glenn Jacobs!

I don’t really know how to write a blurb in the inimitable SILENCE! house style so I’m going to forfeit my cash prize and just submit you some show notes instead. Hope these help. cheerio-bye.

9 00 The Prisoner by writer Peter Milligan and artist Colin Lorimer.

12 20 The Hellblazer #22 by Writter Tim Seeley and artist Davidé Fabbri.

13 55 The Hellblazer #1 by writer Jamie Delano and artist John Ridgway.

17 00 Transformers Collected Comics #3 by writer Steve Parkhouse and artist John Ridgway.

25 10 Fraser Geesin Is A Lot Of Help live clip. *EDIT* This is actually a clip of Gary Lactus years ago when he was in a band and the singer didn’t turn up so he ended up talking over some synths.

26 55 The Toys That Made Us (TV Series 2017).

35 50 A Walk Through Hell #1 by writer Garth Ennis and artist Goran Sudžuka.

39 00 Flayed Corpse and Other Stories by Josh Simmons.

44 30 Doom Patrol by writer Gerard Way and artist Nick Derington.

44 50 A duck.

48 40 Audience with Charles Forsman at Gosh Comics.

SILENCE! #250

April 25th, 2018

 

 

YOU KNOW THEY DON’T GIVE A F*CK ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE

Well, it’s a right ruddy great anniversary for the SILENCE! boys innit? 250 years of podcasting! Not only that but they invented podcasting. And the internet  – they invented that too. Did I mention listening? Yeah, they invented that. Invented the bloody lot they did. 250 years ago.

So why not join those two gentlemen, hellbent for leisure, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die as they invite you into the inner sanctum for some verite, fly-on-the-wall, dogme 95-style podcasting. Ot’s a 2.5 hr epic that will test your patience to the very hilt! And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Talked about are Marvel 2-in-1. The Immortal Men, Captain America 700, Legion, Xerxes, Oblivion Song, Eternity Girl, Megahex, Lockjaw, Walking Dead, Wonderful World of Tank Girl, Punk’s Not Dead, Tap-dance Killer, Action Comics 1000, and Highest House. All recorded in majestic ‘SIGHT ‘N” SMELL-ORAMA’!

AND PLUS The Beast and speshul gest-schtar Bobsy have a good old chinwag about Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

So checkitowtonetimewon’tyou?? And raise a glass to 250 glorious more years of the world’s premier lifestyle podcast…

(all together)

SILENCE!!!


 

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #248

March 13th, 2018

 

THAT WAS PATROL, THIS IS THE WAR

Listen, can you do me a favour? It would really help me out if you just imagined that there’s a really good blurb here. Something wry, funny and a bit surreal. Something to cause a smile to flicker across those cherry lips of yours? Becuase frankly I just don’t have the time today to put the necessary graft in. So it would really help me out if you could just cut me some slack this once, and just scrunch your eyes closed and just…imagine. Imagine that this is the blurb you’ve always dreamt of.

<ITEM> It’s a SILENCE! And not just any old SILENCE! but a SILENCE! featuring your old pals Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. Come to drop a comics plopsy right in your tea.

<ITEM> Admin, Dadmin, sponsorship and some honest to goodness SILENCE! News?? Right here effendi. Hot takes on the latest Rob Liefeld and Neil Gaiman announcements.

<ITEM> Suddenly… THE REVIEWNIVERSE! Comics old and new are ingurgitated: World Without End, The Beef, Shade The Changing Woman, Ragman, The Highest House, Gideon Falls, Oblivion Song, The Spider King, Prism Stalker and more. Plus hot news about the John Higgins-painted Cronenbergian body-horror Batman comic that simply does not exist.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #247

February 28th, 2018

AND I STILL LOVE THE GIRL FROM BENNINGTON

This is it. We’ve worked for so many years to get to this. Years squirrelled away in the lab. Years banging our heads against a brick wall. Years when it all seemed so bleak..so utterly pointless. Great minds came and great minds went. Some cracked and crumbled under the awful weight of it all. I saw at least one certified genius snap and run screaming from the insurmountable, impassive wall of the task at hand. But yet still. Here we are. We brave few. Through sheer tenacious bloody-minded perseverance, we stand before you clutching this tiny vial. Inside this fragile glass container we have the essence…the pure distilled very essence of podcasting. If I take this pipette and draw out one tiny drop and…

<ITEM> It’s only a right ruddy new epidose of SILENCE! It’s the life-style comics magazine for the discerning gad-about-town, with your smiling friends Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die here to steer your little ship into the cool calm waters of…podchat

<ITEM> I Reckymend brings The Beast’s latest obsession, the horror podcasts Shockwaves and Killer POV

<ITEM> Glad aboy admin? It’s gladmin! Take that gladmin with a spoonful of paternal responsibility and you have Dadmin!

<ITEM> SILENCE!…Because The Telly is on brings us the new Tick series, the old animated Tick cartoon and Hannibal.

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse reaches out through the mirror and pulls us back in with it. There’s some chat about Giffen & DeMatteis’ Justice League, Milk Wars, Spectacular Spiderman, and the We Told You So: The Story of Fantagraphics. More for sure, but I’m blowed if I can remember. Trust me though – all gold.

<ITEM>Stick around for our greatest show-ending ever!

CAN I GO NOW?

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.