Mindless Ones

Right then. Quick blurb.

Blurb.

There we go.

In this episode Gary Lactus is sad but happy to be podding with his best pal The Beast Must Die.

They’re going to be doing SILENCE! To Astonish! at Glasgow Comic Con. Fine.

In this issue they talk about Pope Hats, Poo Pants, Mad Magazine, Superman Year One, End Of The Fucking World, Immortal Hulk, Sonata, To The Death and other digressions. Also The Beast has seen Into The Spiderverse and loved it just like everyone else, the sheep. Why couldn’t he just have a hot take on it for the click bait? Oh yeah, and there’s another Beast Unboxing in a toilet.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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TURTLES HAVE SHORT LEGS, NOT FOR WALKING

BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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UUUURB!

<ITEM> Oh look it’s another SILENCE! Or is it? Yes it is.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die mix background noise and prattle in a delicious, perfectly seasoned slow-cooked stew. Sponsorship! True Piss Crime! The Rule Of Three podcast on Leo Baxendale’s Willy The Kid! Black Summer! Admin! Something different in every spoonful! Tuck in!

<ITEM> Come with us to Reviewniverse with Myfanwy Tristram’s Ladies Of The Lakes, Grave Horticulture, Animal Man, Rad Erwank and Conspiracy Dog, Batman: Venom, Batman: Proficiency, My Pretty Vampire and a proper good discussion of Kieron Gillen and Caspar Wijngaard’s Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt.

<ITEM> Reckymends: Andrew Hickey’s A History Of Rock Music in Five Hundred Songs

<ITEM> Shall we?

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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PUT A RED NOSE ON YOUR CONK AND LET’S STONK

Imagine world. Go on, close your eyes, imagine a world. Come on, Imagine a world. A whole world. Quickly! COME ON! NO, NOT THAT WORLD, IT’S TOO MUCH LIKE THIS ONE! THINK OF A BETTER WORLD! Ah, forget it. No, don’t bother.

Imagine a blurb. Okay? Good.

<ITEM>Uncharacteristically scorchingly hot on the heels of SILENCE!#263 comes SILENCE!#264!  Too much?  Never enough?  Never mind, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die remain consistently inconsistent.

<ITEM>We hope you enjoyed the SILENCE! Special with Gareth A. Hopkins, pick up a copy of Petrichor here.

<ITEM>BIG NEWS! We will be joining Al Kennedy for a special SILENCE! To Astonish Live! at the Glasgow Comic Con on June 29th.  Come along and make it good!  Not only that but The Beast Must Die will be exhibiting at the Leicester Horror Con!  

<ITEM>The Beast has a few choice words to say about Neil Gaiman’s Writing Masterclass and Lactus has a few random words regarding the experience of watching Ant Man and The Wasp on screens of various sizes.  Mr. Die has also seen half of Ready Player One but I hardly think that’s enough for him to have formed an opinion about it.  THINK AGAIN!

<ITEM>Come with us to Reviewniverse, with The Female Furies, Doomsday Clock, X-Force, Captain Clyde, Emotional Data: Test Tube Sugar Baby, The Quiet Place, the Captain Marvel Movie and you of course!

<ITEM>To see you out there’s some Dadmin regarding Hey Duggee (good) and Bing (anxiety inducing).  Gary bemoans the ridiculousness of iTunes (please rate and review us) and The Beast recommends the Chart Music podcast.

<ITEM>No more items, just listening.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

I KNOW YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN TOLD BUT LET ME SAY IT AGAIN, THINGS GET WORSE WHEN YOU GET OLD

Hey! Listen up! You wanna blurb? ‘Course you do! Everyone loves a blurb and this, my friend, right here in this box, is a BLURB! Know what I mean? Not just any old blurb, I mean a BLUUURRRB! Yeah, NOW you’re interested! You wanna see the blurb before you take it?  Sure, but I can’t show you here.  If I get this blurb out in public and people see it, we’re gonna have a crowd form in seconds and that’s gonna be a problem.  Say, why don’t you come down this dark alley and I’ll let you have a little looksee.  Okay, come on…

Here we go, let me just get the latch here… heh heh, it’s a bit sticky, hang on…  THERE!  FEAST YOUR EYES!  What?  Oh shit!  Sorry, wrong box!  That’s a turd i did in the shape of a cock and balls…  Sorry about that.  No, you can go, it’s fine, sorry.  Sorry.

<ITEM>It’s a very special SILENCE! with a palindromic number!  Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die quickly fail at podcasting only in palindromes.

<ITEM>Great informal chat including some Carmin and some chat about Work Guns.

<ITEM> The Family Beast’s visit to the zoo.

<ITEM> “Excitement” about the Titans show on Netflix

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse sticks its tongue in your ear and in morse code, taps out some quality chat about Conan The Barbarian, Kid Eternity, Batman Vs. Grendel II, Marvel Comics Presents, Crypt of Shadows and A Copy of the Comics Journal which is a Vertigo Special and it’s from 1992 so of course The Beast Must Die wants to talk about it.

<ITEM>Backmin, Outmin, Whateveryoulikemin in the form of The Beast telling you all about Alan Clarke’s Elephant (more harrowing than and unrelated to The Beast’s visit to the zoo) in a bit of SILENCE! (Because The Film’s Started).

<ITEM>

Let’s make SILENCE! pal, Simon Russell’s comics dreams come true by funding his The Marriage of Njord & Skadi Kickstarter.

TUCK IN!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

Comics? Do they still make those? Why?! Can a comic get you from A to B without having to rub up against the scum on public transport? Can a comic beep increasingly faster as you reverse towards a stationary object? Can a comic cruise down the open road as you listen to some quality tunes (or Magic FM, what’s the difference?)? Can you make love to a beautiful/willing woman in the backseat of a comic? Tell you what, if you can convince me that a comic will somehow get all the bloody cyclists off my roads then I might be interested! Until then the only way I’d ever possibly be interested in a comic is if it was filling some of the pot holes on our roads these days what on earth do I pay my road tax for you could’t make it up!

Let’s drive!

Here’s SILENCE! #459. I, Gary Lactus have passed my driving test and spend much of this episode burning rubber in The Beast Must Die’s stupid, carless face! Once the dust settles there’s some prolonged pre-comics chat about Mandy, Deconstructed with Mehdi Hassan and some other stuff I can’t remember because I wasn’t listening, I was too busy browsing driving gloves online.

Then there’s the Reviewniverse in which there are reviews, passing mentions or something inbetweens of The Green Lantern, Shuri, Fantastic Four, Jeff Hawke, Go-Bots, Titan Editions in general including James Bond and a very special review of Darren Cullen’s Mini Daily Mail (find out more HERE)

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

Ah, podcasting. The oldest profession. Since the dawn of time began throughout history it has been podcasters who have kept us warm and fed our children. In some ancient cultures podcasters were revered, even worshipped as living gods. Of course today the podcaster occupies the lowest tier of respectability alongside estate agents, prostitutes and Piers Morgan but where would we be without them? Surely dead.

This issue Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die manage to fit in some time for you, generously allowing you to listen in on them talking about Small Press Day, the Kinder Egg scandal that no one is talking about and the collector gene.

Then it’s off to Outpost Reviewniverse for Dice Man Comic, Proxima Centauri, Slasher, Mister Miracle, Bloodstrike Brutalists, By Night, Oblivion Song, Neil Gaiman’s Helblazer, Sandman, Howard Chaykin’s The Shadow, Chester Brown’s Little Man and The Weather Man

Finally there’s some Rekkymend from Gary Lactus of Liam Williams’s Pls Like and The Beast Must Die has seen Black Panther.

You’re welcome.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

COMPETITION TIME!!!

The first person to listen to this podcast, write a full blurb and show notes and send them to silencepodcast at gmail dot com will win FIVE GREAT BRITISH POUNDS in their paypal account.

EDIT! We have a winner! Thanks, Glenn Jacobs!

I don’t really know how to write a blurb in the inimitable SILENCE! house style so I’m going to forfeit my cash prize and just submit you some show notes instead. Hope these help. cheerio-bye.

9 00 The Prisoner by writer Peter Milligan and artist Colin Lorimer.

12 20 The Hellblazer #22 by Writter Tim Seeley and artist Davidé Fabbri.

13 55 The Hellblazer #1 by writer Jamie Delano and artist John Ridgway.

17 00 Transformers Collected Comics #3 by writer Steve Parkhouse and artist John Ridgway.

25 10 Fraser Geesin Is A Lot Of Help live clip. *EDIT* This is actually a clip of Gary Lactus years ago when he was in a band and the singer didn’t turn up so he ended up talking over some synths.

26 55 The Toys That Made Us (TV Series 2017).

35 50 A Walk Through Hell #1 by writer Garth Ennis and artist Goran Sudžuka.

39 00 Flayed Corpse and Other Stories by Josh Simmons.

44 30 Doom Patrol by writer Gerard Way and artist Nick Derington.

44 50 A duck.

48 40 Audience with Charles Forsman at Gosh Comics.

THE FLOOR’S AN OCEAN AND THIS WAVE IS BREAKING

This podcast was completed three days ago and do you know what held it up? Writing this bloody blurb! Please submit your blurbs for future use via email so this sort of thing need never happen again.

It looks like SILENCE!#250 ushered in a bold new age for the pod pals as they once again piece together an episode at free moments in their very busy, extremely important lives. There was chat about The Fourth Of May With You, the burgeoning Evil Of The Minibeast, Bob Mortimer and Maria Bamford’s recent podcast appearances and the forthcoming shows by Fraser Geesin, Matt Banks and Dunce Tank. SILENCE! Because The Film’s Started brings Avengers: Affinity Friends and Brawl in Cell Block 99.

Then from Outpost Reviewniverse we have The Prisoner, Legionnaires and Tales Designed To Thrizzle as read to Little Barry Lactus. The Free Comic Book Day offerings of James Bond, Tank Girl, Street Angel’s Dog, 2000AD Re-Gene, World’s Greatest Cartoonists and DC Nation. Finally, Batman, The Avengers, Eternity Girl and The One. Probably something else too but I’ve had it with writing this stupid blurb, time to set this pod free and watch it soar freely into the ears of our three or four listeners.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

Hi there, this is Callum, I’m the new intern here at SILENCE! My first real task is to write a blurb for Gary and The Beast. I’ll try to do as good a job as I can because I love SILENCE! and the Mr. Die and Mr. Lactus have promised me a well paid job if I perform well. They’re great guys and are always joshing and laughing. They laughed loads when they told me about all the money I’ll be making here at SILENCE! after my 4 year apprenticeship comes to an end. So first we start with a song lyric.
I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT OH LORD
Hope they like that one, it’s one of my granpa’s faves.

Then it’s basically a list of the things they talked about in the episode but you have to make it interesting somehow as the blurb is the most important part of the podcast; everyone reads it and it’s really important. So, my brilliant bosses did a really great episode of SILENCE! this week. They did lots of really funny talking and are great guys. I liked it when they talked about sponsorship and the very exciting special 250th issue of SILENCE! which is just around the corner. I liked it when Mr. Die talked about Maria Bamford and Mr. Lactus talked about Daniel Kitson. Then I liked it when SILENCE! Because the Film Has Started with Thor: Ragnarok and Black Panther and Lake Mungo.

Then I liked it when The Reviewniverse with Mister Miracle and Ice Cream Man and Crawl Space and By This Shall You Know Him and Vampironica and Dry County and Tailgunner Jo then I liked it when it ended and then I went home for tea.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]