Mindless Ones

FOR THE RIGHT TO BE GOVERNED, WASTE THEM WITHOUT MERCY

As our (pretend) close personal confidant Luke Haines will tell you, “it’s not for God’s love/ it’s not for cocaine,” which are the only two extremes on the religion-80s drugs scale.

Of course it’s not, you dirty heathens! It’s for COMICS.

All-inclusive SILENCE!, the comics podcast that makes you listen to ladies etc sometimes. Gary Lactus is joined by emergency guest Maid of Nails all the way from the Razor House in darkest Caledonia, who like any other Strong Female Character can talk massive amounts of shit just like Them Goize.

<ITEM>Comedy, maternal pop culture reviews, we’ve got it all. Find out whose mother really wants to hear more about the Ents, and exactly how to catch Gary Lactus’ comedy show in London.

<ITEM>The Reviewniverse spawns chat of Judge Dredd,  2000AD, Wolverine Goes To Japan On His Gap Year, Nighthawk, Bitch Planet,  Civil War II, The Ultimates,  Wicked And Divine, Wonder Woman, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Auaman, Punisher,  All Star Section 8 and some talk of the Preacher TV show thing.

<ITEM>Watch out for the Nipple Collector

Click to download SILENCE!#194

Welcome to Diane… number 5.

Pathos and bathos gather to swallow the worm-choked mud and put the FUN in funeral as Rosie, Mark and Bob discuss the poignant and peculiar third episode of David Lynch and Mark Frost’s Twin Peaks, Rest in Pain.

Expect: the fight against the dark, the fact of death, and a journey into the secret systems of the town. Oh, and the interment of Laura Palmer.

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Rivers turn to wood, ice melting to flood
Earth lies in death bed, clouds cry water dead
Tearing life away, here’s the burning pay

Please do shovel wet clods upon us in the comments below. If you like what we’re doing with Diane… so far, please tell us, please tell your friends, and please tell your local pastor-shaman-shapeshifter. If you don’t like what we’re doing with Diane…, please do all the above still, but a little more grudgingly.

You can follow Diane… on Twitter and Tumblr, and the best place to find new episodes every week is probably Diane… on Libsyn.

Next episode: Mars, Venus, and amputation.

I TOOK A TRAIN, I TOOK A PLANE…AH WHO CARES YOU ALWAYS END UP IN THE CITY

“You remind me of the babe!”

“What babe?”

“The babe with the power!”

“What power?”

“THE POWER TO MELT MEN’S BRAINS WITH IT’S EYES, TO REND THEIR SKIN FROM THEIR BONES WITH NARY A THOUGHT, THE POWER TO LEVEL CITIES WITH A BLINK, TOO MAKE A CHARNEL HOUSE OF THIS WORLD AND THE NEXT, TO TRAVEL OUT INTO THE STARS AND FURTHER AND TO BURN ANYTHING THAT GETS IN IT’S WAY…THAT POWER!”

“Oh. Well in that case I think you can keep that babe away from me. Nasty thing.”

<ITEM> LA HA BOO HA! It’s a new SILENCE!, the comics podcast with ‘tude to boot, and boots with ‘tude. Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die bring you their thoughts, their opinions, their hopes, their dreams and they demand that you listen.

<ITEM> Sponsorship? Admin, Earth-Pigs? Self-promotion? Stand-up comedy? Take your pick, treacle, they’re all here

<ITEM> Into the Reviewniverse we go, with a hi-de-hi and a ho-de-ho! Despite The Beast forgetting himself and talking about the Brian Wilson biopic Love & Mercy, the boys do eventually talk about comics, including The Dark Knight: The Last Crusade, Batman no.1, Patsy Walker AKA Hellcat, DC Legends of Tomorrow (with Sugar & Spike), Island, Michael DeForge, Black Widow, Ted McKeever’s Pencil Head and more, oh so much more!

<ITEM> Laughing. About Laughing. And then not.

P.S. COME TO THIS IT WILL BE FUNNYYYYYYY!

Click to download SILENCE!#193

Welcome to Diane… number 4.

It’s weirder and weirder when Rosie, Mark and Adam discuss the second episode of David Lynch and Mark Frost’s Twin Peaks, Zen or the Skill to Catch a Killer.

Expect Tibetan something or others, oven gloves, a journey into night and the best way to combat the darkness in the woods. All that and the Red Room.

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There’s nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance, dance

Drop a spooky jitterbug in the comments below. If we’re doing White Lodge, please think about sharing this episode with your finest friends. If you think we are doing Black Lodge, tell us that too so we can work on our perfect courage.

You can follow Diane… on Twitter and Tumblr. Cast money spells on us and tell us how to be better humans.

Next episode: Things get unfunereal.

MY MINIATURE KINGDOM, MY KING-SIZE EGO

…and the thing is, you should have seen the size of the bleeder’s head! Like a bloomin’ bit of roast beef it was, with all these filthy mouths full of doll’s teeth…snapping they were, just all snapping! And the way it moved! Like a film running back it was, like some awful old film… and the smell! Like a flippin’ abbatoir that someone had sprayed with perfume…sickening it was, sickening!

I tell you. Last time I go internet dating.

<ITEM> HOO-HAH! It’s only a brand new SILENCE! up in your grill with a boatload of sass and a pocketful of attitude. So join The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus as they take you on a journey into: the internet’s ONLY comics podcast

<ITEM> Bit of preamble ramble, some uewd and rude Sponsorship, plus a bit of promotion for Gary Lactus’ London gig.

<ITEM> Behold! The Reviewniverse! In all it’s many angled glory. There’s some DC Rebirth fun, with The Flash, Detective Comics, Wonder Woman and Aquaman. There’s The Fix, All New All Sexy Avengers, The Vision and a whole mess more

<ITEM> But wait! It’s the Beast’s Bargain Basement with Alan Moore’s Majestic one-shot, Eddie Campbell’s Deadface and the 1991 Judge Dredd Mega Special.

<ITEM> Cheeky review of the ill-fated Fantastic Four movie? Don’t mind if I do.

More? More? Listen Oliver Twist, take your ‘more’ and shove it right up your

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

Click to download SILENCE!#192

Welcome to Diane… number 3.

Adam, Rosie and Bob are overcome by an apopheniac frenzy while poring over the first proper episode of Twin Peaks. Journeying into the Hollywood, eaten by wolves, stalked by 80s serial killers and positively flapping in fish, our plucky sleuths start surveying the scene, asking questions and making lots of connections.

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But will they know when to stop?

Follow us into the woods in the comments below. If we’re doing OK, please think about sharing this episode with anyone you know who’s famous.

You can follow Diane… on Twitter and Tumblr. Admire our gifs and tell us how to be better.

Next episode: next episode!

GUNBOATS FLOAT LIKE CEMETERIES, INSIDE YOUR GUITAR

Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die in a dance off that you just won’t believe! Throwing shapes that could change the fabric of space and reality! It’s time to step up to the streets, in 3D, in full effect! Those boys were thrown out of home when they were 15 and they been dancing ever since! Nobody puts SILENCE! in the corner! NOBODY!!! (and break)

<ITEM> It’s an old skool spektacliar, as Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die hold hands and touch the sky together! Crazy guys – back in action!

<ITEM> Sponsorship? Check. Ramblocious ramblings? Check. A Kickstarter campaign worth your time? Check. Earth-Pig update? Check.

<ITEM> And then we’re hard into the Reviewniverse like a couple of bouncing bombc skipping across the 4-colour fjords. Looking at Batman: Rebirth, DC Rebirth, Superman: Rebirth, and DC Afterbirth. Plus! Civil War 2, Spiderwoman, Stray Bullets, Cinema Purgatorio, Stuart Gordon’s From Beyond, Papergirls and more, more, more (how do you like me?)

<ITEM> Bit of backmin and then we ‘re off!

Click to download SILENCE!#191