Mindless Ones

I SAW MY BABY, SHE WAS TURNING BLUE

A SILENCE RIFT! SILENCE SCHISM! CRISIS ON INFINITE SILENCES! SECRET SILENCE WARS! THE SUMMER CROSSOVER EVENT THAT WILL LEAVE NOTHING THE SAME FOREVER CHANGED EXCITEMENT FOR ALL TIME…

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is sad to announce that this edition of SILENCE! comes broadcast from separate sides of the  quadraverse, as Gary Lactus and the Beast Must Die present The Silence Of Two Worlds…(in honour off this ridiculous non-event Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  will split into two also, become beautiful binary star blazing in the infinite dataverse)

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  v.1 here am very happy to present: <ITEM> Gary Lactus, broadcasting from Mars, fires first, spraying the comicsphere with his sticky opinions and muscular baritone. A Welsh choir somewhere is missing an Angel, but the internet gained another blowhard…

<ITEM> Pushing his size 12 brogues into the Reviewniverse, he takes on Jupiter’s Legacy #1, New Avengers #5, Avengers #10, Uncanny Avengers #7, Fury #11, Avengers Arena #8, Young Avengers #4, FF #6, Fantastic Four #7, Uncanny X-Men #5,Guardians of the Galaxy #2, Wolverine and the X-Men #28, The Flash #19, East of West #1+2, Mind MGMT #10, Superman #19, Batman Inc #10, 2000AD #1829...Sweet Krypton that’s one bulging sack of comics. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 hope that his spacegod brain has not been permanently corroded…

And then…

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 v.2 is very sad to present: <ITEM> The Beast Must Die goes solo also, presenting the podcast version of a triple disc concept album about the English Civil War, played on banjos, synth and kitchen equipment …unlistenable rubbish!

<ITEM> Thank you listener jingles – booty bass and barbershop quartets? YES.

<ITEM> The hirsute one hop, skips and jumps straight into the pulsing warm embrace of the Reviewniverse II spouting opininon-forms on Young Avengers, Jupiter’s Legacy, Fury Max, Avengers Arena, Rachel Rising, BPRD: Vampire, Batman IncHaunted Horror, Wolverine & the X-Men, FF, East of West and Katana.

Now Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  v.1 & v.2 come together to wish the listenerds well, and to reassure that this is not Yoko Ono time, no fear, no sir…this not Abbey Road time…Silence will resume normal service (ie embarrassingly amateur) next week. But for now…’enjoy’ as best you can.

click to download SILENCE!#60

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

The following post is from She’s an Astronaut. Adam and Mark’s Mad Men Tumblr. http://shesanastronaut.com/

Afraid not, Mr. Burger.

Die-hard fans will already be aware that Mad Men high-fived 30 Rock this week. I don’t actually watch the Rock, but I wanted to write a piece about the drinks Peggy and Ted use to drown their sorrows after failing to snag Ketchup and it soon became clear that the latter’s tipple of choice doesn’t exist. It probably shouldn’t either. So for those of you who are slightly less nerdy, Ted’s cocktail, an Old Spanish, composed of a disgusting sounding blend of red wine, tonic water and olives, is a fabrication invented for the sole purpose of humiliating a character in another show, a show that, in the same episode where the drink debuted, made a couple of massive and rather funny nods to Mad Men. It was all an extended televisual love-in basically and most commentators have had nothing more to say about it than that.

But I have my remit!

Read the rest of this post on She’s an Astronaut

Despite my seeming full mental breakdown after the first issue of Transformers: Regeneration One, I held on to my sanity well enough to continue buying it on a monthly basis.  Didn’t take long for a feeling to creep in that, beyond the initial shock, things were maybe… Off the boil? I continued to buy it more out of a sense of nostalgic loyalty than any actual engagement.  After all, who doesn’t want to see the creators of their childhood iconography still get paid, in this crazy work for hire world?

(assuming they haven’t espoused something morally dubious or engaged in something horrible)

Here’s a brand new Cindy & Biscuit strip for you. I’m doing these on a semi-regular basis here on Mindless Ones. Check them out here.

Also, don’t forget to get yourself a copy of the brand new 56 page  Cindy & Biscuit no.3 from my shop at Milk The Cat. You can pick up my other comics while you’re there.

IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN HERE? YES NANNY!!!

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is more dangerous than ever before…because Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is tipsy, emotional and inappropriately tactile. ONLY JESTING fleshbags. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 does not drink, has no emotions and cannot touch. Is straight edge hardcore. Yes sir.

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 ‘likes’ this!

<ITEM> The Sponsorship Boys are here oi oi oi! Plus, yet more thank you jingles for the Friends of Silence

<ITEM> It’s the return of disgraced American newscasterisers Gary Lactenberg and Danny Beastman, and the results are somewhere west of spectacular. SILENCE! News is back and it wants your children.

<ITEM> When you get to the bottom you go back to the top of the Reviewniverse and you go for a riiiiiiiiide…Daredevil, Justice League, 2000AD, Milligan & McCarthy, Captain Marvel, Captain America, Swamp Thing, Nova, Superior Spiderman, Batwoman, Age of Ultron, Wolverine & The X-Men, Five Ghosts, Iron Man, Wonder Woman, 1963, Donald Simpson and Megaton Man.

Oh how we laughed! How we sang! How we splashed around the shallows as the baby sharks nibbled our toes and the blood turned the surf a frothy pink…How we listened to SILENCE!

click to download SILENCE!#59

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

Yes, I’m a week late with writing this one, but that’s because it’s quite difficult to find much to say about it.

It’s Trad, Dad!

‘Nothing of note was to be inherited by her loved ones, and nor was anything ever expected to be. She was put to rest with exactly the same title as the one with which she was born. She never ruined anyone’s life and never once considered a career in the deliberate, violent immiseration of her fellow citizens.’

‘One measures a circle, beginning anywhere’ – From Hell

‘Easily the current century’s first landmark work of fantasy and ranking amongst the best pieces ever written in that genre, with The Vorrh we are presented with a sprawling immaterial organism which leaves the reader filthy with its seeds and spores’

‘I would say, that if you’re talking about a line of progress, if it can be called progress, that runs from Berthold Brecht’s Threepenny Opera, to Donald Cammell’s Performance, to Harry Potter, I don’t think you can really see that as anything but a decline… and also I would say that if you’ve got the Avengers movie as one of the most eagerly attended recent movies, and if most of those attendees were adults, which I believe they were, then if you’ve got a huge number of contemporary adults going to watch a film containing characters and storylines that were meant for the entertainment of eleven year old boys fifty years ago, then…’

‘We shall attack, we continue to wait… This gesture, which can never be fully grounded in reasons, is that of a Master. It is for the experts to present the situation in its complexity, and it is for the Master to simplify it into a point of decision. … The Master is needed especially in situations of deep crisis.’

‘BOMB ENTANGLERS DISENGAGED’

The levels of taste and good judgement in the Doctor Who production office in the mid-1980s can be summed up in three words:

Doctor In Distress.

The following excerpt is cross-posted from She’s an Astronaut, Amy and Adam’s Mad Men tumblr.

“It’s hard to argue with a direct appeal to our customers. I mean, we can artsy up the image of Jaguar, make it look romantic and stylish, but isn’t it better to tell people who are actually in the market for a car that a jaguar is available?”

The answer, Don knows, is an emphatic NO.

As he progresses through his pitch, countering the Jaguar representative’s concerns with the same line every time, the Bottom Line, Don begins to sound more and more like a salesman..

“I think it’s better to think about someone in New Jersey driving in their current car and hearing that around the corner there’s a jaguar to buy….at a low, low price.”

“I’m 100% positive that this approach moves cars. And not just Jaguars – this is proven to move all kinda cars. Hell, even used cars!”

More importantly though, he sounds – and looks, check the upward curl of his mouth – like an American. Note the use of the use of the colloquial contraction ‘kinda’, the ‘hell’ and the cherry on the cake:

“Fellas, this is gonna work!”

But in the end this isn’t simply about Jaguar, and Don knows it. It’s about the crassness of American consumerism versus the elegance and exclusivity of empire. This is a deeply felt cultural divide and Don’s anti-pitch exploits it to the fullest.

But there’s a specific American Don’s impersonating. Herb wanted to speak through SCDP and Don’s only to eager to grant his wish. You want a ventriloquist act, Herb? You got one. Suck it the fuck up.

Read more at She’s an Astronaut