Mindless Ones

Hi gentle Silencers! Sadly once again this is a Silent SILENCE! week due to our big, busy, bulging schedules. We promise not to let Earthly concerns get in the way of our Cosmic mission ever again…and we’ll be back next week with a show stuffed full of comics giblets, so just hang on to your happy hats till then.

In the mean time, why not check out the  Nintendo version of ‘There Will Be Blood’:

Milkshake!

Or the Pingu version of John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’:

MacReady!

And if that’s not enough you could do a lot worse than reading Michel Fiffe’s cracking interview with a take-no-prisoners Tony Salmons over at The Factual Opionon:

Comics nourishment
 

Fiffe is probably my favourite comics critic writing at the moment – he writes with intelligence and passion about comic art without bringing his ego into play, and has tremendous taste in picking out artists that you may have forgotten about or overlooked. His pieces on Trevor Von Eden, Ty Templeton, Larry Stroman and others are absolutely essential reading, and you can add this Tony Salmons one to the list – what a phenomenal, explosive artist! See you next week!

BACK ONCE AGAIN WITH THE RENEGADE MASTER
D4 DAMAGER POWER TO THE PEOPLE
BACK ONCE AGAIN WITH THE RENEGADE MASTER
D4 DAMAGER WITH THE ILL BEHAVIOUR
WITH THE ILL BEHAVIOUR

WITH THE ILL BEHAVIOUR
WITH THE ILL BEHAVIOUR
WITH THE ILL BEHAVIOUR

And they’re back. The internet’s favourite fancy boys are back from Lactus’ cosmic stag do, with at least an hour and a half of girdle-shattering comic chatter to shake the very firmament! So there! After the usual smart-alecky back and forth, the pericombombulating pair rip through the Silence! News like a couple of Tyrannosaurs on their way home to tea.

And then!

COOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMIIIIIIICCCCCCSSSSS!!!!!

So let’s get down to brass tacks. They talk about the following things in a highly animated fashion:

China Mieville’s (wait, the guy who wrote Moby Dick?) Dial H, Cindy & Biscuit no.2, David Lapham’s Dan the Unharmable from Avatar, Earth 2, Shiny Hake’s Bulletproof Coffin cut-up issue, Daredevil, FF, Andi Watson’s delightful Skeleton Key, GI Combat, Ennis’ Fury, Action Comics, Roger Langridge’s Popeye, Hulk Smash Avengers, and there’s a brief mention of Essential Black Panther (with more to come). But the best bit is when Lactus is forced, like a squirming bug under a magnifying glass, to wade through all the crossover filth he’s been luxuriating in in Crossover Classix with Gary Lactus. Covered are AVX, Wolverine and the X-Men, Spidey/Punny/Daredy’s Omega Dinner, and of course Owlfight in Gotham.

Then, in a special notcomics section those lovable rogues take some time to discuss their recent adventure to Portmeirion (setting of the Prisoner).

So grab your big boy pants, pull your ears out reaaaal far and chow down on this gourmet edition of SILENCE! Hoo HAH!

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Visit the SILENCE! Gallery

Sorry podfans – no Silence! This week due to The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus being away on the cosmic comic-god’s stag weekend! It’s true, Lady Lactus and her beloved Gary are getting hitched (inside the Negative Zone, no less!) and it was therefore the Beast’s duty to take him away for a thorough cosmic mind-pummeling (along with Ad, Amy Poodle and Bobsy). No time for comics chat! Only time for him to be tied to the dread Lamp-post of the Nyarghull and to be affixed with the terrible L-Plates of Zhastorath!!!!!!!!!

Fear not though, we’ll be back next week for a bumper episode of chat, covering all the lovely comics we’ve not talked about including Bulletproof Coffin, Earth 2, Dial H, Daredevil, AVX, Owlfight, Skeleton Key, 2000ad, Fury, Frontline Combat, and much, much more.

In the meantime, here’s a picture of Gary Lactus dressed as No.6 on the beach at Portmeirion to keep you happy:

See you next week!

What is it Bubba? Whaddya want?

Firstly though, The Beast debuts his homework, ‘The Review Song’. And a jolly good job he does of it too. Don’t listen to Gary Lactus. He’s a giant idiot.

Then, they discuss the really important issues of the day: Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, Thor, Hawkeye and Hulk. And then the Hulk again.

Rather churlishly they refuse to talk about comics, so amped up are they by this modern innovation of moving pictures! The cads! Suffice to say Lactus spent the week diseasing his already syphilis-ravaged mind with AVX-related stuff and more Owls, while the Beast ignored the new releases instead opting for Kurtzman & Co’s Frontline Combat. Both of these topics will be returned to at a later date.

So sit back…no further back than that…till you’re pretty much lying down. That’s it, like that. Okay so sit back and soak up the sound of two semi-retarded man-children discuss the most important cultural item of the last 2,000 years…

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ASSEMBLE!

AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!!!!

Lo, it was so. SILENCE! no.9 descended upon the earth like a particularly weighty turd from an overfed poodle’s arse!  The Beast brings the noise in a very real sense, with his hip hop meisterwork ‘COMIX (NOT 4 KIDZ). They then jaunt in a spritely fashion into the SILENCE! News wherein Lactus reveals what might be the BIGGEST news story of 2012 (let’s just say the word ‘Avengers’ is part of it – SPOILERZZZ!).

After that they proceed to lustily tango into last week’s releases, discussing Daredevil no.10 (and the practical ways to exit a monster), the eternal sunshine that is Bulletproof Coffin: Disinterred no.3 (by Dave Hine serial comic abuser Shaky Kane) and briefly touch upon Spaceman no.5. Lactus is TOTALLY PSYCHED over the devastating psychological complexitiveness of Bloodstrike, and talks up Atomic Robo Presents: Real Science Stories (including a devastating critique of Tesla’s working methods, no less!). Next up is The New Deadwardians (sweet Lord…) Secret Avengers (Shhhh…secretly Avenging) and a Bowfinger reference. Then there’s a double dose of You Should Have Known Better with the twin-horrors of AVX no.0 (buh?) and Comic Book Men (hurry Mayan prophecy, HURRY!) The Beasts Bargain Basement concerns Paul Duncan and Phil Elliot’s Second City (props to Michel Fiffe) and the brief glory that was Harrier Comics, and the pair froth merrily over Booster Gold and how fucking rad his origin is. Not to mention the adrenalin-soaked thrill ride that is The Coming Attractions. Put it all together and you have Another. Comics. Podcast!

All this and perhaps a little bit more, from the lovable odd couple that the internet is calling “the Tango & Cash of internet-based comics criticism”. Grab your earpipes and snuggle down you hobbits!

(And click below for the SILENCE! gallery…)

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WE’RE GOING IN!!! IT’S THE RETURN OF THE BIG DOGS! WOOF WOOF!!!

Wait… sorry, where am I? Who are you people? WHERE AM I!?

Welcome then weary mortal to the 8th soul-scorching episode of the podcast that the internet is calling ‘a podcast about comics’. The Beast is back in continuity and living it up as super-powered *ahem* teenager in the 30th Century. Lactus, meanwhile, unveils his mighty Rock EPIC ‘Who He Is, And How He Came To Be’. Quake weaklings!

After the abortive SILENCE! news they hurl themselves face first into the morass of weekly comics, taking in Snyder and Capullo’s Owl Comics no.7, Dominique Laveau Voodoo Child no.1, the always swell Prophet (with a minor Jonathan Lethem digression) , Secret History of DB Cooper (again), Justice League Jeans and the Jeansification of Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman no.7, Amazing Spiderman something-or-other, The absolutely awesome sounding Stan Lee’s Mighty 7 (REALITY!). Lactus reaffirms his love of superhero dinners once again and the Beast compares Rocketeer Adventures to Band Aid. Then, in You Should Have Known Better, they tackle Mark Millar’s latest pitch Supercrooks. Following that The Beast froths about his bargain-filled week and talks up Chaykin & Garcia Lopez’s Twilight, Carol Swain and the simple beauty of Schulz’s Peanuts (always with his finger on the pulse this Beast!). Factor in a trawl through next week’s comics shizzle and you have a fat fist full of comics meat shoved right in your facehole. Suck it in you filthy rabble.

Also click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…

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Sweet singing Jesus! This is it. THIS IS THE ONE! No hyperbole, no exaggeration, this is IT. This gonna be the one the kids bicker over! This is the one that’s gonna change the game, this…this…

Sorry I can’t remember what the hell I was talking about. Forgive me. Been hitting the bottle harder than my man Starks on payday.

So what is this? It’s the seventh episode of SILENCE! the ‘award winning’ new podcast that’s sweeping the netosphere. In this episode you get two, count them TWO superhero songs: Gary Lactus’ ‘Variable Hulk’ featuring guest vocals from the soft Glaswegian brogue of Illogical Volume, and The Beast’s ‘Saga of the Swamp Thing’ super-ballad. That would basically be enough for most podcasts, but not SILENCE! God no. After that you get ‘hot’ ‘comics’ ‘gossip’ in SILENCE! NEWS! before the two launch into a heady discussion of BKV’s Saga no.1, Avengers Bendicise no.1, Captain America (and the loveliness of Alan Davis in general), Wolverine and the X-Men (again!), The Incredible Hulk (why not?), Casey and not-Fox’s disco bloodbath Haunt, the derangement of Elektra Assassin, The Secret History of DB Cooper from Oni, Shade from Robinson and Pulido [during which The Beast turns into a f*cking robot AGAIN!], the increasingly less yellow Fantastic Four, Saucer County,and SPACE: Punisher (fucking yes). they soil their minds at the awfulness of the Gearheart: Steampunk Revue no.2 in the fan-favourite You Should Have Known Better. Then the beast rhapsodises (in blue) about the lost classic Batman: Jazz from Gerard Jones and Mark Badger in The Beasts Bargain Basement (and yes there’s a cocking jingle!). There’s a quick discussion of the surprisingly brilliant Rise of the Planet of the Apes in Notcomics. Add in some America’s Top Model and the scintillation of the Coming Attractions, and you have yourself an aural swingers party.

So stick on your headphones, pour yourself an extreme beverage and CHOOSE THE FORM OF YOUR DESTRUCTOR!

PART 1
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PART 2
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Behold cretins! The sixth mind-ripping installment of SILENCE! is upon us…

In this episode Lactus tries desperately to get off the smack, whilst continuing to loll about on his cosmic swank pad. Meanwhile the Beast has made some Amazing Friends. Matters takes a turn for the sobering as they discuss the sad passing of Moebius, and give an update on Brett Ewins‘ situation in Silence News. We also reveal the winner of our ‘competition’ to draw a picture of the ‘Thing’s Thing’. Then things get merry again as Lactus reveals he has read all the comics in the world due to a one-sided sponsorship deal with Dave’s Comics of Brighton. Beast sulks. The two 4-colour raconteurs then take in Action Comics, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Fatale, OMAC, The Fairest, Age of Apocalypse, Stray Bullets, The Manhattan Projects and they both take their horrid medicine when they read Spawn issue no. 2,798,002 in the new feature You Should Have Known Better. The Beast takes a rambling digression into the career of Ralph Bakshi in the Not Comics section (so many sections!) before they delve into the upcoming releases in the Coming Attractions.

Oh yes, and Lactus misses his deadline for his Hulk song, but drops in a bit of live superhero stand-up to atone for his sins.

Could it be any better? Arguably yes, but you know what? THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE HAVING. MAN UP, GRAB YOUR EARS AND GET SOME!

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[CLICK BELOW FOR IGMUS’s NSFW ‘COMPETITION’ WINNING DEPICTION OF THE THING’S THING!]

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NSFW

What? What do you want? You want to hear hot shit talked by two hot guyz? Well you came to the right URL true believers!

In this scalding 5th episode the Beast loses his job as a Transformer, but not before he drops his latest musical gem ‘O Transformer!’ Meanwhile Lactus stretches out on his cosmic sofa and relaxes into the hazy bliss of a heroin high!

But Not Just That! They talk about comics, including speculation on Morrison’s upcoming HAPPY!, Chaykin’s Black Kiss 2, Spaceman no.4., Fantastic Four: First Family, The Twelve no.10,  Orc Stain no. 7, Shade no, 5, Jason Aaron’s Incredible Hulk, Criminal, discuss Chris Weston’s meaty art, the annoyingness of comics covers that look the same each month, and Lactus takes one for the team and reads Robocop: Roadkill. Poor Lactus. Add in the Mindless News, the Coming Attractions and some shameless self-promotion for Cindy & Biscuit no.2 and you have a guaranteed sonic prolapse to brighten up your life.

GET SOME! GET SOME!!

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