Mindless Ones

I’LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND! I’LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND! 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ha ha! Hello SILENCERS! Under the brand spanking new SILENCE! banner from celebrity orc-peddlar James Stokoe, you will find the latest hot shot comics rot from notorious 4-colour sex pests The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus. Quake, then, frail ones at SILENCE! no.19…special early morning edition.

A slightly frazzled and sleepy pair take on the release of the recent Dredd trailer for SILENCE! news, then the coffee starts kicking in and they barrel into some full-blooded discussion of comics, including 2009 the third volume of Alan Moore and Kev O’Neill’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Century series. Also spoken of: Saga no. 4, Hellblazer (Biz + werewolves), Secret history of DB Cooper no. 4, Journey Into Mystery, AVX something or other, and Daredevil. The Beast brings back ‘You Should’ve Known Better’ with his take on Tony Daniels’ Detective Comics and then things peeter out as an over-excited Lactus realises he got up way too early.

It’s an hour and ten minutes of comics shpoonk, and it comes in a handy ear-pill sized format. So jump up, jump up and get down with the comics podcast that the world believes might change everything for everyone….SILENCE!

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WE’RE GOING IN!!! IT’S THE RETURN OF THE BIG DOGS! WOOF WOOF!!!

Wait… sorry, where am I? Who are you people? WHERE AM I!?

Welcome then weary mortal to the 8th soul-scorching episode of the podcast that the internet is calling ‘a podcast about comics’. The Beast is back in continuity and living it up as super-powered *ahem* teenager in the 30th Century. Lactus, meanwhile, unveils his mighty Rock EPIC ‘Who He Is, And How He Came To Be’. Quake weaklings!

After the abortive SILENCE! news they hurl themselves face first into the morass of weekly comics, taking in Snyder and Capullo’s Owl Comics no.7, Dominique Laveau Voodoo Child no.1, the always swell Prophet (with a minor Jonathan Lethem digression) , Secret History of DB Cooper (again), Justice League Jeans and the Jeansification of Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman no.7, Amazing Spiderman something-or-other, The absolutely awesome sounding Stan Lee’s Mighty 7 (REALITY!). Lactus reaffirms his love of superhero dinners once again and the Beast compares Rocketeer Adventures to Band Aid. Then, in You Should Have Known Better, they tackle Mark Millar’s latest pitch Supercrooks. Following that The Beast froths about his bargain-filled week and talks up Chaykin & Garcia Lopez’s Twilight, Carol Swain and the simple beauty of Schulz’s Peanuts (always with his finger on the pulse this Beast!). Factor in a trawl through next week’s comics shizzle and you have a fat fist full of comics meat shoved right in your facehole. Suck it in you filthy rabble.

Also click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…

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Sweet singing Jesus! This is it. THIS IS THE ONE! No hyperbole, no exaggeration, this is IT. This gonna be the one the kids bicker over! This is the one that’s gonna change the game, this…this…

Sorry I can’t remember what the hell I was talking about. Forgive me. Been hitting the bottle harder than my man Starks on payday.

So what is this? It’s the seventh episode of SILENCE! the ‘award winning’ new podcast that’s sweeping the netosphere. In this episode you get two, count them TWO superhero songs: Gary Lactus’ ‘Variable Hulk’ featuring guest vocals from the soft Glaswegian brogue of Illogical Volume, and The Beast’s ‘Saga of the Swamp Thing’ super-ballad. That would basically be enough for most podcasts, but not SILENCE! God no. After that you get ‘hot’ ‘comics’ ‘gossip’ in SILENCE! NEWS! before the two launch into a heady discussion of BKV’s Saga no.1, Avengers Bendicise no.1, Captain America (and the loveliness of Alan Davis in general), Wolverine and the X-Men (again!), The Incredible Hulk (why not?), Casey and not-Fox’s disco bloodbath Haunt, the derangement of Elektra Assassin, The Secret History of DB Cooper from Oni, Shade from Robinson and Pulido [during which The Beast turns into a f*cking robot AGAIN!], the increasingly less yellow Fantastic Four, Saucer County,and SPACE: Punisher (fucking yes). they soil their minds at the awfulness of the Gearheart: Steampunk Revue no.2 in the fan-favourite You Should Have Known Better. Then the beast rhapsodises (in blue) about the lost classic Batman: Jazz from Gerard Jones and Mark Badger in The Beasts Bargain Basement (and yes there’s a cocking jingle!). There’s a quick discussion of the surprisingly brilliant Rise of the Planet of the Apes in Notcomics. Add in some America’s Top Model and the scintillation of the Coming Attractions, and you have yourself an aural swingers party.

So stick on your headphones, pour yourself an extreme beverage and CHOOSE THE FORM OF YOUR DESTRUCTOR!

PART 1
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PART 2
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