Mindless Ones

Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. AND IT LOOKED LIKE SILENCE!!!

Salutations fleshy ones, it is Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 here again to give you a gentle laugh-sized portion of introductory text to the nation’s podcasting sweetheart, SILENCE! (the 36th installment).

In this episode the two humanoid presentertrons The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus indulge themselves like a couple of schoolchildrenoids in a sweetshoptrix. Apologies – this is Narratorbot humor. Back home in neo-interspace v2.0 I am comedy legend.

ITEM – SILENCE! News – usual mish mash of second hand stories and ill-formed opinions yes sir.

ITEM – covering pulp pamphlets a-go go, such as:

Godzilla: The Half Century War by James Stokoe (TBMD immortalised plus tangential discussion of Mike McMahon), Zaucer of Zilk from AL Ewing & Brendan McCarthy (with tangential discussion of Sooner Or Later, Dare, Enigma and Mrs Thatcher), Daredevil, Hawkeye, Glory, Wonder Woman (Puns incoming – puncoming?), Justice League (Trevor!), Marvel Now Point One (Marvel WOW!), a discussion of the Curse of Man Vs Comics and continuity, and more more more (not really – Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 cannot lie to the fleshy ones. It is not in his programming, no sir. Dissection of flesh one brains however…)

ITEM – Silent Question comes from bemulletted 90’s also-ran Captain Planet and answers involve Greatest American Hero, The Shadow, and Nick O’Teen (boo hiss no sir).
ITEM – Wowee such sexy big listening times for the fleshy ones! All so exciting, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 does not know what to do. It will think clean thoughts and apply the lotion… so please do be joining us for SILENCE! no.36 – hot buttons!

click to download SILENCE!#36

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

 Click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…

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Shada is a television story from 1979 starring Tom Baker as the Fourth Doctor, Lalla Ward as Romana and David Brierley as K-9, the incomplete parts of which got a video release in 1992.

The Great Unwashed by Gary and Warren Pleece, Escape Books, 2012

Are you looking at him?

AS THEY PULLED HIM OUT OF THE OXYGEN TENT, HE ASKED FOR THE LATEST PARTY

<START TRANSMISSION

I am Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 replacing the weak fleshy one after last week’s meltdown. I bring you efficient informative ha-ha soundbites, FFFFFFRESH!

ITEM – SILENCE! no.35, the universe’s greatest comics podcast etc presented by Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die. Pin-ups, yes sir.

ITEM – The SILENCE! News, featuring lateral news items hot off the press, yes sir!

ITEM – The Weekly Haul, covering such 4-colour variety pamphlets as:

Batman no.13 (Jokertime scary yes sir, with a bonus related discussion of bath salts, cannibalism and John Leslie), Uncanny Avengers (world will never be the same, no sir), Spongebob Squarepants Comics no.13 (Steve Bissette????), MacGyver (I have chewing gum, chicken wire, cotton reel and shotgun – what can I make?), Phantom Stranger (where is turtleneck?), Wolverine & The Sex Men (ha ha, I make pun, but actually is quite sad), Fantastic Four (final issue oh no bye bye), Dan The Unharmable (Melvins in hostile ambient takeover yes sir), & Punk Rock Jesus (big themes yes yes yes sir).

ITEM – SILENT Question, asked by head fantastic Reed Richards and features heartfelt sad/happy answers including Whizzer, Jay Garrick and Mr Miracle. Thank you.

ITEM – Nao Of Brown.Glyn Dillon. Big discussion. Big boys. Big time.

ITEM – Smallest Press with Steve Ditko: Act 5. Objectivist. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 likes Ayn Rand too. Death to the fleshy ones.

ITEM – all in pulse-pounding latest edition of podcast that is for maxi-enjoyment big times yes sir.

END TRANSMISSION>

click to download SILENCE!#35

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

CLICK BELOW FOR HOT STEVE DITKO ACTION:

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Being an irregular series wherein I spotlight some particularly beautiful cover runs, from some comics you might have forgotten about, or never seen before. This time it’s Comico’s surprisingly high quality 80’s JONNY QUEST run.

Jonny Quest, as a franchise, never really had an impact in the UK. Not the original 1960’s TV show, the subsequent 90’s updates or the computer games. In fact it’s probably more recognisable for elements of it that crop up in the post-modern lampooning of shows like Sealab 2021 or The Venture Bros. Jonny quest was/is a plucky blond moppet who accompanied his explorer dad, Dr Benton Quest on rollicking globetrotting adventures accompanied by his faithful dog Bandit, chum Hadji and all round tough guy Roger ‘Race’ Bannon. It was, as is to be expected, good, clean and relatively insipid fun more likely to create a nostalgic glow in a certain demographic than inspire any kind of critical reappraisal. File under Scooby Doo and move on.

Which makes the 1980’s Comico series all the more surprising for the relative sophistication brought to the storytelling and the stellar list of creators it attracted. This was a franchise tie-in to a then defunct kids cartoon that featured work from William Messner-Loebs, Adam Kubert, Bill Sienkiewicz, Marc Wheatley, Marc Hempel and Dave Stevens and many more, all under a steady editorial steer from Diana Schultz (soon to depart for Dark Horse, where she helped nurture a similarly solid creative roster). Between them they crafted engaging, charming stories that caught the flavour of the original series whilst adding a good dash of narrative sophistication. There’s a strong flavour of Eisner’s The Spirit to this iteration, with the shifting perspectives and cute narrative tricks and flourishes.

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WHERE THE HELL’S THE RZA??

SILENCE! no.34 is upon you. Gladness….oh what’s the point? Sometimes being an omnipresent disembodied narrator just isn’t enough y’know? I mean, I had dreams when I was younger – what happened to them? I wanted to be a dancer. I have thighs like a f*cking gazelle…and here I am making up a bunch of lies, to tell some degenerates in arrested development about a show featuring two egotistical blowhards and their half-baked opinions about one of the least respected art-forms in the universe…but since I owe Gary Lactus a kidney, and The Beast Must Die has those photos of me….

So there’s the usual scheisse with the Silence! News and then there’s a verbal tsunami of comics reviews: Axe Cop, Dial H, Daredevil: End of Days, Action Comics, Legends of the Dark Knight, Fashion Beast, Crossed: Badlands, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Tank Girl, Non-Humans (oh and there’s a discussion of headsocks, and the SILENCE! rules of comics are established).

Man Vs Comics makes it to the finish line with AVX, AVX: VS, and Uncanny X-Men and boy-howdy is he thrilled.

The SILENT! Question comes from Detective Chimp, and the answer involves a musical octopus amongst other things.

Add in Fuff #0 from uber-talented Jeffrey Lewis, and Lose #2 from sickeningly talented Michael DeForge in The Smallest Press, and you have an hour and a half of…of…oh god, that’s it I don’t care anymore. If you need me I’ll be out back crying with a gun in my mouth. WRITE YOUR OWN DAMN BLURB YOU PAIR OF HACKS!

click to download SILENCE!#34

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

Click below for some Jeffrey Lewis images in the SILENCE! GALLERY… Read the rest of this entry »

Yes, it’s an extra-special double review!

In which I look at the last two episodes of the most recent mini-series of Doctor Who

Being an irregular series wherein I spotlight some particularly beautiful cover runs, from some comics you might have forgotten about, or never seen before. This time it’s a short run of covers for Detective Comics by Michael Golden:

Batman is a character who lends himself to bold artistic interpretations. Over the 70 odd years since his creation many of the brightest and best talents have put their stamp on the Dark Knight, and often to electrifying effect. There’s something bold and simple about the character’s design that lends itself to graphical innovation, and the neo-gothic ultra noir of Gotham provide the perfect artistic backdrop.

As such there’s an embarrassment of riches to choose from with regards to spectacular cover runs, and truth be told I feel a little guilty about selecting any Bat-comics for exposure in this series simply because of their sheer ubiquity – the aim of this feature is generally to expose work that may have been forgotten or overlooked. There is however one short run of Bat-covers that I have always adored, and that I just had to showcase for anyone who hasn’t seen them before. Simply put, these are some of my very favourite comic covers ever; strong stylish and vibrant they showcase the visceral power of the medium at it’s best.

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OODLES AND OODLES OF O’S, YOU KNOW, YOU GET ‘EM FROM MY SISTER, YOU GET ‘EM FROM MY BRO!

In this veeeeeeerrrrrry special edition of the People’s Choice Award-winning Podcast, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are broadcasting LIVE! from the inaugural and exclusive SILENCECON 2012! Live! from the exclusive ‘micro-suite’ of the Hard Rock Hotel in the Younited Staytes of Ameryka’s very own Las Vegas!!! Get ready for EXCLUSIVITY you lucky, lucky insects.

I really shouldn’t have to say more than that to get you listening, but since I get paid by the word, I’m going to soldier on. The SILENCE! NEWS features an exclusive mini-interview from roving reporter Lactus with Nao of Brown’s Glyn Dillon, and some other EXTREMELY EXXXCLUSIVE stuff too.

Then it’s on to a bumper stuffed edition of comics shenanigafoolery and let me tell you the boys are so excited, and they just can’t hide it. They’re about to shit their pants and they think they like it!

So let’s get our hands dirty:
ITEMS! Ultra-grime from notorious pantomime villain Grant Morrison with Happy! Awesome Doopism in Wolverine & The X-Men; Doombots a-go-go in the Incredible Hulk; Facial traumas a-plenty in Fury: Max;  NY Punk vs UK Punk and shit magic in general in JL: Dark; Rucka-isms abound in Stumptown; The real Avengers return with Steed & Mrs Peel; Dalrymple, missile farms and Captain Quest in Prophet; The Batmen of many colours in Batman Inc; Dead Edwardians in the New Deadwardians; Pretty pointlessness in Ozymandias, Beto-pulp in Fatima & The Bloodspinners and finally Space: Punisher which somehow sparks a discussion about Krull, Spacehunter and The Golden Child.

The drug-themed SILENT Question comes from lovable old ex-Venom addict Bane, and the answers include Nuke, Robocop 2, Umpty candy, Foo Goo, David Lloyd, Wasteland, Miraclo, and Spin.

Finally The Beast unleashes his new section (and the girls squeal) in The Smallest Press, covering self-publishing treats such as the grindcore love letter  Death Trap from Lane Milburn, and the creepy/saucy treat Too Dark To See from Julia Gfrörer.

It’s all here along with a guest appearance from Robbity-Bobbity and non-stop SILENCECON EXCLUSIVITY and SPECIALNESS, in the barrel of hot monkey-shit that is….SILENCE!

click to download SILENCE!#33

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

Click below for the SILENCE! Gallery…

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