Mindless Ones

ITEM HEY BOY MAN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’VE DRAGGED YOUR WAY HERE FROM UNDER SIX FEET OF SHIT, GET THAT STENCH OUT OF MY ATRIUM AND WIPE YOUR NINNY FEET ON THE BEAR’S HEAD

ITEM WHAT’S THAT MILKY BOY KID? TIRED OF MUMMY’S GREENS? WANT TO GO WHERE THE REAL CHAT IS FOUND? THE HARD CHAT? THE GREASY CHAT? THE COMICS CHAT?SILENCE, YOU FUCKING MUDDLE, SILEEEENCE!!!

ITEM OH THAT’S NEW, OH THAT’S SPECIAL, SILENCE! SIX BILLION, YOU WANT A CUNTING MEDAL OR THE CHEST TO PIN IT ON, CHICKEN LEGS?

ITEM WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? SOME GRIPPER PISSING HIS INITIALS INTO THE MANTLE OF THE BEAST? WANTS TO BE THE MAIN COCK? WANTS TO PARADE HIS BROILING BULK? LORD NUNEATON FUCKING SAVAGE IS IT? HARDLY A MAIN ATTRACTION, HARDLY A HARD ANYTHING, LOOK AT HIM CHATTING UP GARY LACTUS, MAKES YOU FUCKING SICK

ITEM ADMIN! SPONSORSHIP! SILENCE! THE FILM’S STARTED WITH LACTUS BANGING FIT TO BURST ON THAT FUCKING FULL TIME CARD TRICKSTER JODOROWSKY AND HIS ART SHOW RODEO BAKE OFF. CUNT.

ITEM BALLY HAI WHAT A SURPRISE, AS THIS FUCKING COBBLING TEAM FROM THE DEEP DEEP DEPTHS OF ONY-FUCKNUTS-CARE-A-SHIT DELVE INTO FUNNY BOOKS LIKE FROGMEN THROUGH BOILING PISS: KAMANDI CHALLENGE! SAGA! DOOM PATROL! HOOKJAW! THE RAY! VIXEN! KILLER FUCKING FROST! DR STRANGE AND HIS BROKEN HANDYCLAMPS! MOOK KNIGHT! ISLAND! GIVE ME FUCKING STRENGTH

ITEM YOU LOOKING BACK AND REALISING YOU BEGGED FOR EVERY COB OF THIS SHIT
​

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@theQuietusFilm
[email protected]

We like the winter it brings us closer together

ITEM Its chilly out here, the lonely unknown beeps moaning from the metal leviathans moored in the space harbour. The space fog hugs the floor, and the space train is minutes off yet. You write a podcast blurb.

ITEM Hello! Welcome to Silence a million. It might be the most important Silence yet:

ITEM The Beast Must Die is a-way, doing … not very much at all, at all. You’ll soon see. So in his place moody young Bobsy joins Gary up there on the space ship in space, come to talk about comics.

ITEM it’s the RETURN OF SILENCE! SONGS with Gary’s offering, Civil War 3 The Musical

ITEM The Space God and his Paranoiac Pal whip through a little bit of admin and sponsorshizzle before getting into the meats, discussing not-a-comics Lazarus and Green Room and then are-a-comics Old Skool Avengers, USAvengers, Cave Carson has a Cybernertic Eye, Monsters Unleashead, Knightsend, Black Hammer annual, Curse Words, Ultimates 2, Wolverine and perhaps some others.

ITEM In a brand new segment called Book Look bobsy discovers a picture with no words (!!!!!????) called Piss Cameron. He likes it, it is good.

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@theQuietusFilm
[email protected]

WITH DELIVERY SMOOTH LIKE WATER FROM A FOUNTAIN, THAT’S WHY I CAN MOVE ANY MOUNTAIN

Welcome to the SILENCE! solo dining experience. For starters we have a delicious shame of kale served in a jam jar and balanced on a faucet. You’ll hate it. Fir main we have a full miniaturized roast served on a teflon sphere. For desert, well no one’s ever stayed that long to be honest. We’ve stopped bothering with desert.

Tuck in to a succulent new SILENCE! Well, it’s not that succulent. The Beast Must Die isn’t around so Gary Lactus and the Galacticats handle this one on their own. There’s some admin where we find out at last what the opposite of a crow is and some news of a Dan White original art sale! Among the sponsershippery there’s talk of buying Fraser Geesin comics too.

Then it’s off to the reviewniverse where Gary and the Galacticats talk up A.D. After Death, All-New X-Men Annual, The Ultimates 2, Gennedy Tartakovsky’s CAGE!, Sixpack and Dogwelder, Angry Youth Comix and passing mentions of Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur and Civil War 2.  Let’s be honest, Gary does most of the talking, the Galacticats aren’t that committed to podcasting.

A real life mountain tale concludes the pod and then you’re free again.

IF YOU’VE GOT A PEN IN YOUR HAND YOU’VE JUST GOTTA DRAW THE MOST IMPORTANT GLANDS

On the 5th of November 2016 at 11.50AM at the Thought Bubble comics festival in Leeds, something happened that would change the course of human civilization forever. An event that would give the free citizens of Earth to fight against the coming oppressors. This event was, of course, SILENCE! To Astonish!

The aptly named Cinema Of War played host to this titanic team-up between Gary Lactus, The Beast Must Die and Al Kennedy from House To Astonish. They were extremely lucky enough to enjoy the company of John Allison, Ryan North, Brenden Fletcher and Emi Lenox. Bless them all, they really had to put up with some nonsense!

LOOK AT THIS FABULOUS GALLERY OF VISUAL AIDS!

Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die pay tribute to Steve Dillon

A MAN HAD WOOLEN EYES, HE COULDN’T SEE VERY WELL
 

This is a placeholder edition of SILENCE! where Gary Lactus and Phil Jerrod
talk about Suicide Squad. It was recorded in a windy park in Edinburgh at night. I think that’s all you need to know. Normal service will resume soon.

Click to download SILENCE!#Suicide Squad with Phil Jerrod

No Regular SILENCE! this week. We were all too stunned by the news that Rita Ora will be replacing Tyra Banks on America’s Next Top Model. Surely Rita can’t reach the preposterous heights of self importance that Tyra managed. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Instead we have the first SILENCE! Prestige Format, the special collector’s edition podcasts which was made available to C Unit Patreontologists back in January of this year. This is a nice chat between The Beast Must Die, Gary Lactus and Clark Burscough.

Named after the last son of Krypton, Clark is the assistant director of the Thought Bubble. We talk about many things including the broken reading experience,
The Amalgam Universe, his origins as a comics reader and Thought Bubble via the dad we all want, Invisibles, Grant Morrison, Marvel’s Doctor Who comics, 2000AD comics, comics comics, comics comics comics, the Thought Bubble party, his own writing for the Regular Show comic and Beef Ho Fun amongst many other things.

Do please enjoy.

Click to download SILENCE!Prestige Format #001

FOR THE RIGHT TO BE GOVERNED, WASTE THEM WITHOUT MERCY

As our (pretend) close personal confidant Luke Haines will tell you, “it’s not for God’s love/ it’s not for cocaine,” which are the only two extremes on the religion-80s drugs scale.

Of course it’s not, you dirty heathens! It’s for COMICS.

All-inclusive SILENCE!, the comics podcast that makes you listen to ladies etc sometimes. Gary Lactus is joined by emergency guest Maid of Nails all the way from the Razor House in darkest Caledonia, who like any other Strong Female Character can talk massive amounts of shit just like Them Goize.

<ITEM>Comedy, maternal pop culture reviews, we’ve got it all. Find out whose mother really wants to hear more about the Ents, and exactly how to catch Gary Lactus’ comedy show in London.

<ITEM>The Reviewniverse spawns chat of Judge Dredd,  2000AD, Wolverine Goes To Japan On His Gap Year, Nighthawk, Bitch Planet,  Civil War II, The Ultimates,  Wicked And Divine, Wonder Woman, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Auaman, Punisher,  All Star Section 8 and some talk of the Preacher TV show thing.

<ITEM>Watch out for the Nipple Collector

Click to download SILENCE!#194

SICK ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE TOO, SO COME ON LET’S MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE

He had tried so hard. He had tried harder than any man had ever tried. All he wanted was to be the best at the thing he had trained for so long to best at. The thing he was born to be really good at. It was the only thing he cared about, his reason for living. It was the only thing anyone cared about. The world expected him to be the best there ever was or ever would be at the thing. The weight of the world pushed down on his shoulders as it now looked like he might not be the best at doing a thing. He couldn’t let this happen so he clenched his teeth, making his jaw muscles bulge in and out then he punched a locker and went on to become the best there is at doing the thing. Every day was like this for Tom Cruise.

Right, so this is SILENCE! #190 in which The Beast Must Die had to run off at the last minute for a very important and highly paid assassination leaving Gary Lactus to ask twitter for co hosts. He found:

Johnathan Dick, a nice chap from Virginia who talked Nick Spencer’s Steve Rogers Captain America #1 with Gary.

Al Kennedy from House To Astonish who talked DC Rebirth and Baker Street Peculiars.

The pair of them saved the day really so HOORAY FOR THEM!

It goes like this:

Click to download SILENCE!#190