Mindless Ones

A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL?!

Hello, Gary Lactus here.  Just back from The Beast Must Die’s stag do in Belgium.  It was good.  We dressed The Beast up as an egg and went Devalkarting.  I still ache.  Anyway, The Beast Must Die was last seen disappearing into some haunted woods on a drunken werewolf hunt with Narratorbot X-15735.  Hopefully he’ll turn up again before the wedding.

So it’s one of those disappointingly solo efforts this week, squeezed out between jobs, recorded on the hoof through the streets at night. Also on a bus and in my bedroom on my spaceship in space just before my bath. Sounds thrilling right? A BUS! JUST IMAGINE! Well there’s no need to imagine because it’s here and it’s real! I talk about X-Men: Battle of the Atom, Forever Evil, Deadshot, Satellite Sam, Trillium, Avengers AI, FF, Bat Slaps and more!

click to download SILENCE!#75

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

This week Gary Lactus continues his tediously thrilling quest to find The Beast Must Die. Along the way he finds a BUMPER CROP OF JINGLES!

In the reviewniverse he bravely tackles The Mysterious Strangers #1&2, Wonder Woman #22, Animal Man #22, Justice League of America #6, Batman 66 #1, Number Cruncher #1, Avengers Assemble #17 and FF #9.

Then we have a Cartoon County chat with Solid State Tank Girl artist Warwick Johnson Cadwell.

Strap on and let’s go!

click to download SILENCE!#70

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

WARNING TEAM!

This week, still bereft of The Beast Must Die, Gary Lactus goes on a quest to find him. His journey takes him into a lonely Reviewniverse where he mutters to himself about Tank Girl: Solid State, Daredevil, Justice League, Hawkeye, Young Avengers, Superman Unchained, Batman, Ghosted, Astro City and Avengers Arena.

Then we venture into a whole new realm baring little or no relevance to the already fairly loose remit of SILENCE! Gary Lactus’ manufactured alter ego Fraser Geesin talks to lovely Dan Fardell about comedy, the Man Of Steel film, Ivor Cutler, Ron Geesin and other stuff. Dan is currently filling in for Kerry Herbert on Kerry On Comedy, every Tuesday 3pm on BHCR.

TRUTH ACCEPTED!

click to download SILENCE!#69

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

Right then, sorry about this. Gary Lactus here. Hello. We’re very nearly back. What we have here is an exciting mixture of TWO amazing formats.

FORMAT 1: I, Gary Lactus apologise my way through some reviews of things like, (well exactly like to be honest) Satellite Sam, The Walking Dead, Uber, Avengers, The Superior Foes Of Spider-Man, Daredevil, and Dial H.

FORMAT 2: A LIVE recording from Cartoon County, straight after The Beast Must Die (in his best Dan White costume), had been interviewed by Alex Fitch of Panel Borders, the radio programme and podcast about comics. He’s proper and it’s good so definitely go and enjoy it! What happened after isn’t as good as Panel Borders but it’s fun. Alex joins us along with plenty of folk like Dave Stone, Joe Decie, David Lloyd and Bobsy chipping in with opinions on comics! Actually it’s a bit of a drunken free for all but with me holding the mic throughout and going on with Bobsy for too long about Jupiter’s Legacy. There’s also talk of Aces Weekly and… I’m sure there was something else… Anyway, what’s the point in me listing everything here? I’m not some goddamn Narratorbot! Hopefully if you’ve read as far as this you’ll have some some idea as to whether you want to listen or not.

Oh yes, I do sing an amazing song which you’d never guess was completely improvised. And there’s a special new Summer Special theme tune.

It’s fffphreschhh!!!

click to download SILENCE!#68

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

WHAT’S THAT BLUE THING….DOING THERE?

Look, forget about angels,  Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 wants to know how many sperm whales fit on the head of a pin? Depends on the pin, right fleshlings? AM I RIGHT?

I am right.  Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is right.

Know what else is right?  The feeling of SILENCE! as it runs it’s cold, waxy fingers down your neck and whispers ‘COMMMMMIIIIIICS’ in your ear. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 advises that you point to the dolly and say where SILENCE! touched you.

<ITEM> Sponsorhsip? You want sponsorship? Well we gots it! The question is – does it want US?

<ITEM> Shock! Horror! The boys find themselves misfiring and ending up in the Broken Zone of 2nd Hand Comics, and talk about Charlton Premiere Comics, Ed the Happy Clown, and Stan Lee Romance Comics…

<ITEM> But then they overcompensate and end up in the Speed Force, wearing horrific figure hugging red leotards and discussing The Wake, Indestructible Hulk, Justice League of America, Fury, Wolverine & The X-Men, John Carpenter’s Asylum, Adventures of Superman, Earth 2 Annual, Captain America, Avenging Spiderman, Dark Knight Annual, X-Men, Dash Shaw’s 3 Stories, and Iron Man.

Now get yourselves back to the homestead, before the sun sets…you don’t want to be out in these badlands after dark. Them dead things get restless….BYE!

click to download SILENCE!#65

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

LOOK! The SILENCE! Gallery is back!

UNIDENTIFIED QUOTE

Yeah, umm… yeah, no…  Yeah, sorry it looks like Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 isn’t working.  Sorry, Gary Lactus here.  Right.  This is SILENCE!#53… No 54.  SILENCE!#54.  Me and Beast read some comics and talked about them.  Get excited!  Woooo!  Cor!  I’m waving my arms around merrily!  What a lovely time we’re all about to have as we listen.

click to download SILENCE!#54

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

Here’s our very special gift to you, dear listener. By poular demand, it’s all 26 of our songs and stuff so far, including previously unreleased material! HAPPY X-MAS!

What’s the matter, don’t you want it? Of course you do!
Click here to unwrap your treat.

WHEN I GET HOME FROM SCHOOL EACH DAY, I FEEL MY TIME SHOULD BE MY OWN…

Listen. I’m celebrity guest host Jonathan Cohen from TV’s Music Time. Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die have asked me to add my special brand of gently sensible fun education to this very special SILENCE! Thought Bubble 2012 Special. Listen. Gary and The Beast went to Leeds with a bag full of dreams and sat at a table for two days trying to sell those dreams. Along the way they met a host of exciting folk like Al Ewing and Keiron Gillen. They talked about the things they noticed about the table, on the table, behind the table, underneath the table and beyond the table.

These things include Cosplayers, Deadline, Crisis, Fantastic Four, Walking Dead, Roller Girls, Breakfast, Dinner and John Wagner doing star jumps.

listen.

click to download SILENCE!#40

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

AS THEY PULLED HIM OUT OF THE OXYGEN TENT, HE ASKED FOR THE LATEST PARTY

<START TRANSMISSION

I am Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 replacing the weak fleshy one after last week’s meltdown. I bring you efficient informative ha-ha soundbites, FFFFFFRESH!

ITEM – SILENCE! no.35, the universe’s greatest comics podcast etc presented by Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die. Pin-ups, yes sir.

ITEM – The SILENCE! News, featuring lateral news items hot off the press, yes sir!

ITEM – The Weekly Haul, covering such 4-colour variety pamphlets as:

Batman no.13 (Jokertime scary yes sir, with a bonus related discussion of bath salts, cannibalism and John Leslie), Uncanny Avengers (world will never be the same, no sir), Spongebob Squarepants Comics no.13 (Steve Bissette????), MacGyver (I have chewing gum, chicken wire, cotton reel and shotgun – what can I make?), Phantom Stranger (where is turtleneck?), Wolverine & The Sex Men (ha ha, I make pun, but actually is quite sad), Fantastic Four (final issue oh no bye bye), Dan The Unharmable (Melvins in hostile ambient takeover yes sir), & Punk Rock Jesus (big themes yes yes yes sir).

ITEM – SILENT Question, asked by head fantastic Reed Richards and features heartfelt sad/happy answers including Whizzer, Jay Garrick and Mr Miracle. Thank you.

ITEM – Nao Of Brown.Glyn Dillon. Big discussion. Big boys. Big time.

ITEM – Smallest Press with Steve Ditko: Act 5. Objectivist. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 likes Ayn Rand too. Death to the fleshy ones.

ITEM – all in pulse-pounding latest edition of podcast that is for maxi-enjoyment big times yes sir.

END TRANSMISSION>

click to download SILENCE!#35

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

CLICK BELOW FOR HOT STEVE DITKO ACTION:

Read the rest of this entry »