Mindless Ones

Behold cretins! The sixth mind-ripping installment of SILENCE! is upon us…

In this episode Lactus tries desperately to get off the smack, whilst continuing to loll about on his cosmic swank pad. Meanwhile the Beast has made some Amazing Friends. Matters takes a turn for the sobering as they discuss the sad passing of Moebius, and give an update on Brett Ewins‘ situation in Silence News. We also reveal the winner of our ‘competition’ to draw a picture of the ‘Thing’s Thing’. Then things get merry again as Lactus reveals he has read all the comics in the world due to a one-sided sponsorship deal with Dave’s Comics of Brighton. Beast sulks. The two 4-colour raconteurs then take in Action Comics, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Fatale, OMAC, The Fairest, Age of Apocalypse, Stray Bullets, The Manhattan Projects and they both take their horrid medicine when they read Spawn issue no. 2,798,002 in the new feature You Should Have Known Better. The Beast takes a rambling digression into the career of Ralph Bakshi in the Not Comics section (so many sections!) before they delve into the upcoming releases in the Coming Attractions.

Oh yes, and Lactus misses his deadline for his Hulk song, but drops in a bit of live superhero stand-up to atone for his sins.

Could it be any better? Arguably yes, but you know what? THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE HAVING. MAN UP, GRAB YOUR EARS AND GET SOME!

[audio:https://mindlessones.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/silence006a.mp3]
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[audio:https://mindlessones.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/silence006b.mp3]
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[CLICK BELOW FOR IGMUS’s NSFW ‘COMPETITION’ WINNING DEPICTION OF THE THING’S THING!]

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People often think these days that Russel T Davies was the first auteur to run Doctor Who.

But nothing could be further from the truth

RIP

NSFW

What? What do you want? You want to hear hot shit talked by two hot guyz? Well you came to the right URL true believers!

In this scalding 5th episode the Beast loses his job as a Transformer, but not before he drops his latest musical gem ‘O Transformer!’ Meanwhile Lactus stretches out on his cosmic sofa and relaxes into the hazy bliss of a heroin high!

But Not Just That! They talk about comics, including speculation on Morrison’s upcoming HAPPY!, Chaykin’s Black Kiss 2, Spaceman no.4., Fantastic Four: First Family, The Twelve no.10,  Orc Stain no. 7, Shade no, 5, Jason Aaron’s Incredible Hulk, Criminal, discuss Chris Weston’s meaty art, the annoyingness of comics covers that look the same each month, and Lactus takes one for the team and reads Robocop: Roadkill. Poor Lactus. Add in the Mindless News, the Coming Attractions and some shameless self-promotion for Cindy & Biscuit no.2 and you have a guaranteed sonic prolapse to brighten up your life.

GET SOME! GET SOME!!

[audio:https://mindlessones.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/silence005.mp3]
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Give me skeletons over zombies any time.

Zombies have no charge for me anymore. I mean, I get it. I understand completely why everyone obsesses over them, what they *mean*, but it took watching that sequence from Mean Streets again recently, where the drunk, bullet riddled barman continues to lurch towards his would be assassin even though he should’ve keeled over and died five minutes before, to make me feel horrified by the undead again. All the hallmarks of the zombie were there, the shambling flying dutchman of an un-person complete with lolling eyes and outstretched arms, persistance of movement and ‘mission’ inspite of massive structural damage…. But this time I needed a real body, something more literal, less of a symbol (and, now, not just a symbol for scary stuff we’d all rather not think about, but a portal to a whole genre of entertainment/fandoms/an industry, etc. – a tangled mess of associations, many of which I find boring/slash annoying), to make me re-experience the supernatural horror of undeath and thence the very real, physical body-horror it points to. It was an assbackwards way to get there, but it worked.

But we’re here to talk about skeletons, right?

This photo is from what I think was the last ever photocall the Monkees did, on what I think was Davy Jones’ last visit to his hometown of Manchester. I was about three feet away at the time.
At the show that night, Davy Jones made a joke that he made every night of that tour – “I used to be a heartthrob, now I’m a coronary”.

So why am I talking about Davy Jones here?

Okay, it’s finally done – 44 pages of comics goodness, featuring everyone’s favourite angry little girl and her dog!

£3.50 (+p&P) – head over to the Shop at Milk The Cat to purchase:

GO BUY IT

Please note – tt’s available (along with all my other stuff) to overseas readers too – check out the postage  details  over at Milk The Cat

Features the stories Cindy & Biscuit and the Secrets of Summer, Biscuit Beyond (as seen right here), the epic 18 page Cindy vs The Sea, Cindy & Biscuit and the Snowman and Excerpts from Cindy’s Diary.

I really am super-pleased with this. It’s the best comics work I’ve ever done and ,after the great reception the first issue got, I’m hoping you’re going to love it too.

Click below for some teaser images…

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In the fourth heart-wrenchingly dramatic episode of SILENCE! Gary Lactus debuts his awesome, thought-provoking Fantastic Four super ballad… The Beast reveals his new job… and the sex life of the FF is discussed with real intellect and insight. Then!! the two rogues proceed to discuss a plethora of last weeks comics including Fantastic Four 603 (moments!), Shavid Hane and Daky Kine’s Bulletproof Coffin: Disinterred no.2 (jazz!), Prophet no. 2 (no alien vagay-jay’s this time!), Wolverine and the X-Men (corporate enthusiasm!) and sort of talk about Red Lanterns and JL: DARK (nee Nowhere) . Then (because they are erudite and broad-minded) they talk about the artwork of Marc Hempel, the recent quasi-superheroic film Limitless and in true Mindless fashion ham-fistedly make their way through this week’s upcoming releases!

IS IT MORE THAN YOU CAN TAKE?!!?

(soft answer: yes)

(MINDLESS ANSWER: HELL YES! TAKE ME TO IT!)

P.S Listeners are encouraged to send us drawings inspired by Gary’s song for inclusion in the SILENCE! Gallery to [email protected]

NSFW

Part 1
[audio:https://mindlessones.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/silence004a.mp3]
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Part 2
[audio:https://mindlessones.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/silence004b.mp3]
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This is the first in what will probably -HAHAHAHAHAHAHA – be a series of regular, if shortish posts about good, scary moments in superhero books.

This week:

From Dante’s Inferno and Fungus the Bogeyman to the much maligned, because capriciously fatal, Chasms of Malice the megadungeon has, for me, an eternal appeal. But because I’ve always found it such a comforting fictional environment, films like 127 Hours and Touching The Void really fuck with my head. They take the safe, endlessly sheltered, endlessly contained and controlled space and aggressively insist it’s anything but. The endless shelter, the roofing, becomes nothing but a granite sky as uncaring, if not moreso, than the one in the stock quote. Because unlike the sky above us it can cave in, trap arms, pulverise shins. Can go on forever…. until it tapers into a little hole where the star of The Descent is still trapped, alone, left to rot and go mad in the dark. Dungeons jostle about like this in all our minds, I think. Humans seek refuge. We instantly anthropomorphise enclosed spaces. Potential homes. But they may resist us. Perhaps they *are* homes – but not ours. Filled with… things.

Or perhaps they’re not homes at all.