Mindless Ones

OR: MINDLESS LINKBLOGGING, SPECIAL “ALL BASTARDS MUST BE AGGRAVATED!” EDITION!

As you hopefully noticed, we spent a large part of last month bringing you the best in bastardry.  We’ve got some spooky Notes From the Borderland coming up in time for Halloween, so right now seems like as good a time as any to collect all of our bastardly musings together and to celebrate the cruel simplicity of the banner The Beast Must Die created for the event:

Hopefully you’ll be able to forgive me for indulging in a little bit of back-patting here while I take you through AN INDEX OF BASTARDS!

• ROGUE’S REVIEW: STARSCREAM.  Our latest recruit Patchwork Earth kicked A Month of Bastards off in fine style with this post.  Honestly, I’ve been into Transformers for as long as I’ve been able to be into anything, and this post was still pretty fucking revelatory for me – the atmosphere in this post is apocalyptic enough to turn a good scientist bad, and what more could you ask for than that?

• ROGUE’S REVIEW: CYBEMEN.  I’m just not that into Who, but after reading Zom’s post I realised that’s just because he isn’t writing it: “The cyborg is sexy and repulsive, utopian and terrifying. It promises the dream of superhumanity but threatens the very idea of human nature. It offers an all-enveloping embrace but of the very strangest kind.” Join the Cyber Army, have Cyber Sex. You know the drill:

• EUROBADDIES: A SPOTTER’S GUIDE. If you’ve ever read on of bobsy‘s posts (and if you haven’t, what’s keeping you? – Ed) you’ll probably have found yourself thinking “Now here’s a man who knows a bit about ponytails, expensive Italian suit-jackets and firearms that double as yuppie status symbols!” Thankfully, he’s now written a post that details the very special habits of this very special sort of bastard just to prove you right. Here’s a taste, just a little taste, to get you ready for the main event:

• GREAT MOMENTS IN BASTARDRY – TWIN PEAKS. In which Zom writes about a bardo hell wrapped in plastic.  If that doesn’t get you going, I don’t know what to say.  If it does get you excited, you should probably check out Black Lodge 2600, the Atari-style Twin Peaks computer game of your dreams (link via the lovely Kieron Gillen).

• ROGUE’S REVIEW: THUNDERWING. A Transformers themed guest post, wherein Mr Attack explains how the great Simon Furman made this wonky heavy metal reject into an “Honest-To-God Devil” for the Transformers universe: “Simon Furman only has one question in his head EVER. “How can I make this guy interesting so that he’ll be remembered long after I kill him to bits?”.” Simple ain’t it? We’re quite clever.

• GREAT MOMENTS IN BASTARDY – CLOSE YOUR EYES, IT WON’T HURT NONE… The only problem with writing a post about the batardry of Marlo Stanfield is that… well, where do you start with that guy!  I *SPOILED* the shit out of a particularly cold moment from last season, but the man’s introduction pretty much speaks for itself.

• GREAT MOMENTS IN BASTARDY – KILL ‘EM ALL.  Unlike David Cameron, Mark Millar’s not a lizard, but he is a total bastard, as bobsy elegantly pointed out in this post.

• THE TERROR OF THE UNMIND: MUPPETS. Probably best to let Amypoodle do the talking here: “And after the darkness? Well, were I to come face to face with it I would surely be devoured in a whirling maelstrom of cackling, whooping, clucking, canned laughter, disco coloured feathers, googly eyes and fuzzy teeth.” If anyone ever tells me that they saw this post coming, I’ll know I’m dealing with a liar.

• GREAT MOMENT IN BASTARDY – PERSONA 2. In which Patchwork Earth discusses the very human act of bastardry at the heart of this particular Lovecraftian apocalypse.

• ROGUE’S REVIEW: DARKSEID. I closed A Month of Bastards with this feverish post on Our Greatest Bastard, Darkseid, anti-life, depression and Capitalist Realism. People seemed to like it.  Here’s a drawing of the big man himself by Geoffrey Lapid:

Geoffrey’s rendition practically radiates disdain, doesn’t it? I’m still waiting for someone to make me the Muppet Darkseid of my dreams/nightmares, so if anyone’s up for giving that a go, let me know!

After that parade of utter bastards, no one would blame you if you wanted to go out cruising for hugs, but before you do so make sure you read this Adam Curtis post on how hugging on TV has changed the ways we’re expected to display emotioln back out here in the world. Still, you’ll want to be take all the human affection you can get right now, because we’ve got some right harrowing stuff on the way for you as part of our next series…

Plus, also, another spiffy banner courtesy of The Beast Must Die, as you can see.

Amypoodle will be kicking the whole thing off with a post on The Overlook Hotel, so make sure you check that out when it goes up – believe me, you’ll end up feeling like a right pillock if you don’t!