April 27th, 2015






Totes need to nail this blurb ASAP. Time’s running out on this ‘kay, and I’ve got Japan up my ass. I know we can’t afford Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 for this, and to be honest I’m not interested in dealing with that prima donna A$$HOLE anyway. Let it go shake it’s little nano-tush for those big shot podcasters across the pond. That bitch be cray-cray anyway, and at least we don’t have to try and sort that goddamn rider y’know? Fukkin’ unbelivable, amiright???

Anyhoo, you need to get your best people on this pronto. I want the biggest guns you can get without spending mucho dollarinies, ‘kay? We need something very NOW, very SEXY, very VERY, y’know? We need the blurb equivalent of a Skrillex beat, soundtracking someone base-jumping into a pile of I-watches, kay?

I’ll be off radar, got a big golf game with Stan The Man, and Jay-Z, looking at some VERY big plans for this podcast. Keep it under your wigs guys, but we seriously need to jettison those two tired fuckkin hams The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus…those two hacks make me wanna puke my ring, but the contracts they have are like a fukkin vice on my balls – that’s some cast-iron LA Law shit there. An’ I’m not talkin fukkin Benny, amiright?? Let’s just say that IF something bad was to happen to them, then we might just have a couple of replacements waiting in the wings. But that’s a great big IF right there.

Oh yeah, and stay off the blow, you fukkin beak-hounds – I want’s this blurb YESTER-fukkin-DAY, none of yer fukkin three day parties. I find out you guys been partyin at Didio’s mansion and I’m gonna be on the first flight out there to ram my fist up your asses. Buddy Bagelbinder’s gonna be keepin’ a close fukkin eye on your a$$es.


Welcome young listener pups, to the welcoming teat of another SILENCE! Turn that other podcast off, and put this podcast into your face-hole right now.

<ITEM> Gladmin, Psponsorshit and the SILENCE! News? Can it really be? Talk runs to Dark Knight III: Master Race, Frank The Tank, and the usual irrelevant frippery.

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse opens its gap-toothed maw and sucks in the boys like a couple of salty bon-bons. Talk turns to Empire: Uprising, L.E.G.I.O.N, Kaptara, Covergence: Swamp Thing, Convergence: Flash, Convergence: Batman& The Outsiders and Convergence: Shmonvergence. Also Crossed 100, Black Hood and something else most likely.

<ITEM> The Beast’s Bargain Basement opens it’s creaky door and the boys peer into the gloom to discuss Who’s Who in the DCU and Eddy Current.

<ITEM> SILENCE! Movies: there’s some spoiler-free talk of Avengers 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Hobbit 3 and Robocop. BONUS CONTENT JOY!

(Orchestral music swells, fade to black…)

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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.

12 Responses to “SILENCE! #140”

  1. Matthew Craig Says:

    I was in Morrisons when the descent into Reviewniverse began. The girl on the till that looks like Starbuck didn’t appreciate me shrieking COME WITH US TO REVIENIVWRSE in her face when she was offering me knife-stickers.

    Here’s a recipe: buy a sandwich. Eat the sandwich. Also buy a yoghurt. Eat that, then spoil it all by eating a near-cooked apple danish. Boke.

    Robocop is a perfect film, and now I wanna see it again. Sadly, all I have is the plasteen-lungs-and-w*nking-spanner edition. Dan O’Herlihy (Grig from The Last Starfighter), him out of ER. Love it. ED-209 is peak 80s. I watched Labyrinth the other day and never want to see CGI again – ALTHOUGH!!! I saw that new Fanty Four trailer, and the low-budge Thing looks pure Henson, CGI or no CGI, so that’ll be lush.

    I made it to the comic shop for the first time in two months last week, and of all the many Spider-Mans (so much better w/o any fan-wank or x-over “action,” Anna Maria best new character since ever), Casanova (lacuna-lacuna(dumbass), your huffy(breath) reeks(smells) of tuna(tuna)(tm&c The Original Alan Moore)), MiracleMan (needed more Mick Anglo originals) and Daredy (Man from C.&.A.), the best issue I read was Ultra Comics. Genuinely unsettling, genuinely affecting, genuinely stayed with me. The page turns, the ultra-real cartooning, the looming, pedantic threat. Holy shit. I had to cook this up as an antidote. Spoilers:

    I mean, I also read the Jodhpurs comic, as well. I’ve been trying to reintro jodhphurs in my comics, but after this. Tell you what, I read WicDiv on the train back, and I was sat next to a really attractive woman – mid-30s, local newsreader type – and she looked up from her Metro (ugh) to admire McKelvie’s superclean attractive linework. I noted this and thought “oho, me luck’s in), but what do you think the next comic was in the pile? And what do you think the next image she saw was?

    Jim Lee’s Shitting Hitler.

    I have never been in love.

    I also bought a load of comics at the Brum Comics Festival (as well as selling a load o’mine, bien sur). Sentient Zombie Space Pigs. Pokey and Gumby. “Question No. 6.” All phrases for the search engine – esp. that last one, which is the artist’s name, for all you fans of art comics and or comics outside the usual pen and ink and lines and such. Really recc. looking her up before she goes back to Japan.

    Avultron was pretty good. One thing made me wanna cheer, another made me wanna kick Joss Whedon in the honk. It all balances out. Avengers 1 is on Google Play for £6.99, as are all sorts of other things. I was tempted to buy Cap2 again, because I have it on Blinkbox but Blinkbox don’t do Roku…although I wonder if I could download it to a stick…hmm…plus I expect it’ll be on Netflix soon. Anyway, it was incredibly characterful while still being BOOM BIF POWE, so…yay?

    Have we mentioned Daredy TV? ‘coz I liked that, as well. Bit Nicholas Hammond near the end, but at the same time, it was a bit Nicholas Hammond all the way thru, so…definitely yay.

    And so.


  2. Matthew Craig Says:

    CORRECTION: I have the Robocop Boxset! /henman

    I’ll see youse in the Spring!


  3. Cass Says:

    Am I considered a contest winner? My entry was third place. Pdf would be fine if you don’t want to ship to America.

  4. Gary Lactus Says:

    Craig: One day I’d like to release an ebook of your comments like they did that book of Stan’s Soapboxes. It would be a sandwich filled document which in time would no doubt rival Pepys.

    Cass: Once I get on top of things I’ll sort out some swag for you (and the others). At the moment I’m a bit bogged down with life turds. Nice to know we have that digital option.

    Kissings xxxx

  5. tam Says:

    Crossed +100 is heavily influenced by a lot of good science fiction classics including the great novel ‘A Canticle for Liebowitz’, which is, come to think of it, probably why he titled the latest chapter ‘A Canticle for Leibowitz’.

    That was, amongst other things, about how the Catholic church changes with the rise and falls of civilizations, apocalypse, etc, so Moore’s presumably attempting to do the same sort of thing with Islam. This is, I reckon, a pretty inspired way of sensitively and imaginatively addressing a difficult subject.

    In some ways, I think the Crossed comics are my favourite comics around at the moment. I don’t particularly a lot of the harsher aspects, but what I DO like about them is that their notoriety means they’re widely ignored by popular culture. There are a surprising amount of good, personal, uncompromising stories (as well as a lot of inevitable dross) and they remind me of how unruly comics used to be when they weren’t worried of what anyone ‘thought of them’ or pitches for films.

  6. Thrills Says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed the Crossed ‘Wish You Were Here’ webcomic, it had a good ‘survival horror’ story, with the right amount of sitting about doing fuck-all Triffids stuff.

    I’m put off the wider ‘Crossed’ line by the comics I see advertised at the back of Crossed 100, but.

    I’m dubious about digging too deep into a universe where it’s a bunch of men writing about rape zombies, though. DON’T MAKE THE TV SHOW, ENNIS.

    I do really like Crossed 100, there’s some great world building, I’m genuinely interested in seeing what’s going on with the crossed being trained, and the art is oddly nice and professional for an Avatar book.

    TED MCKEEVER: his art is absolutely fantastic, and I recently found all of Metropol in a charity shop. It was a decent enough story, but didn’t ‘blow me away’, as they say. That art, though! Great Mignola back-up pictures, too.

    FILMSSS: Robocop is still outstanding. I’m really into the short time we get to spend with Murphy and Lewis before it all kicks off. A boo hoo hoo! Peter Weller is just THE BEST in that film.

    I also have a story from the same ‘Roadhouse’ source as last week, about Peter Weller spending a night on the town with someone who handling him while he was around for film promotion purposes, and they couldn’t get seats in a restaurant, so Weller whispered cheerily “tell them you’re with Robocop”.


    Oh, I thought I’d seen the third Hobbit, but I hadn’t. Just felt like I had. Those films are the worst (though I do concede Freeman is a good Bagginz)

  7. The Beast Must Die Says:

    I have spent a lot of time recently referring to one’s ‘Bag End’.

    “My bag end is chaffing slightly”

    The only good takeaway from the film I feel.

  8. Justin Victor Says:

    I’m always glad to see some love for Who’s Who. It was one of the very first comics I got into as a kid, certainly the first series where I obsessively hunted down all the back issues. The way it just lays out the length and breadth of the DCU was hard to resist. Cowboys and vikings and spacemen and superheroes and soldiers all under the same roof? I was hooked for life right there.

    It’s too bad the current DCU is so dire. I gave up on Convergence, but I’m sticking with some of the two-parters. The Supergirl one is the ‘last Ambush Bug story’, so I’m into that one as a reborn Giffenite, though I wish he was drawing it too. And Swamp Thing and Shazam look nice, at the very least. Haven’t read those two yet.

    Speaking of Giffen, I meant to mention last week that he, Dematteis, and Porter are cranking out a pretty solid little book in Justice League 3000. Definitely one of the ‘green shoots from the manure pile,’ as you guys put it a while back.

  9. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Right, that one’s a bit under the radar but you’re not the first person to mention it being good so I might check it out. That said I’m pretty sickened by DCs treatment of their freelancers – see Gerry Conways blog here for reasons why:

    I’m sorely tempted to make Multiversity no 2 my last DC comic for a while

  10. Thrills Says:

    Luckily, I don’t think giving up on DC after Multiversity’ll be that difficult, given that it’s not exactly pumping out A+ comics. Though maybe Seaguy 3′ll come out at some point? Morrison said it was on the horizon, about 18 months ago. WHY WOULD HE LIIIIIIE?

  11. Justin Victor Says:

    I saw that Gerry Conway article via Twitter. Very disturbing, though Rich Johnston seems to think DC will sort it out quickly. Not sure why he’s so optimistic but we shall see.

    Echoing Thrills, this would be an easy time to boycott DC. Not counting some of the Convergence minis, I’m only following five of their titles, three if I drop some of the Superman stuff in the coming months. Looks like that whole family of books is headed for another massive summer crossover and I don’t know if I have the energy or the interest.

  12. Matthew Craig Says:

    Had another listen while out and about today. Re: Quicksilver, Avultron’s version was played by Kick-Ass himself, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, while DofPee’s version was played by Kick-Ass’ budderino Evan Peters (who ended up macking on BBC3 comic-influenced drama The Fades’ star Sophie Wu’s character, sidekick to Lyndsy Fonesca’s Kick-Ass’s girlfriend character).

    The other lad was Clark Duke of Hot Tub Time Machine and The Office. His version of Quicksilver has yet to be established.


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