Mindless Ones

…said Steve the shop. Luckily, I had the issue in my hand already, thereby narrowly dodging another cruel flechette of conversational shrapnel, saved from a fresh scar of shame and age gouged from the old character armour.

Candy covers – Pic’n’Mix (Woolies RIP)

If it hadn’t a been for Jimmy Jump

Definitely in Greatest Hits mode at the moment, repackaging old tat to get ready for Christmas. 2.5% less VAT. Catastrophes averted by less.

Ancient Chinese Wisdom say: Jump! Juuuump!!

Get your second fix of Cape Killer right here, folks. All those of sensitive disposition should keep on a-scrolling: blood is spilled over the jump

And you thought we’d forgotten. For the lucky uninitiated, check the Cape-Killer archive:

To catch a cape killer

Cape killer apokriffer

Join Us!

What are you waiting for? JOIN US!!

So. We caught one.. A genuine, real life, stone-cold Cape Killer. Hero-blood under the nails on her dialing finger.

Beware! The mind of a Killer lurks beneath!

Oh no, not this tired old turn again – it’s bollocks. No it’s not, but it has got bollocks in it. Oh no, not again, leave the poor dead dog alone would you? Actually it’s not a dead dog, but it has got a … etc.

Check the fuck out of these latest man-bloomers, or ‘moomers’, if you like. They’re the latest hot-off-the-rack examples of the comics world’s ever increasing penetration into the intersecting tripartite spheres of movies, fashion, and sense-shatteringly great undies.

Rifle through my drawers

The first mission of the Silent 73 (there’s about 14 of us now, I think, including half of all the people I know in the world. This could take a while.)

Will be to locate certain priceless documents pertaining to our quest. These are:

• The ‘missing’ scenes of Batman #428 (Earth-A version) – the scenes that they had on standby in case the Yes vote took it. When our final quest is completed, these pages will be the real deal, of course. These pages must ne made manifest in simulation before they can be brought into the real. (got scans?)

• The editorial/letters page of Batman # 427, where they explained the whole mad deal to the fans. I need to see them so I can feel the awkwardness and embarrasment in Denny’s ‘voice’ as he explains this weird little gimmick to his always-explosive and over-invested readership. Handle with care.

Help us, Silent 73. Find the treasure.

More after the jump…

I got my black shirt on.
I got my Black Gloves on.
I got my ski mask on.
This shit’s been too long.
…
Cape killer, better you than me.
Cape killer, fuck superhero brutality!
Cape killer, I know your whole league’s grievin’
(Fuck ’em.)
Cape killer, but tonight we get even.

– Cape Killer, by Ice-2 (the Ice-T of Earth-2)

A thought caught me, late last night, and it won’t let go. So let’s kick it around a bit, and see what we get out.

More after the jump…

The Black Glove! Yijing! Round 3! That’s right – we’re back with more probably-rubbish and definitely-disrespectful divination disasterism. After a bit of a break, my mate the Classic of Changes and me are returneth to look at another bunch of perhaps less-than-likely suspects in our current Batman whodunnit. (Don’t worry, only another couple of Thursdays before the next issue comes out, and maybe we can all pretend this giant game of guess-who never happened.)

This week, we’re looking at the good guys, so lets ‘ave it.

Suspect 1: Robin, The Boy Wonder.

Check out the gloves.

More after the jump…

Group B in this draw is made up of mythic, godly or otherwise pre-existing fictionistic baddy types. Some good, and not so good candidios in this round, so lets crack on…

Suspect 1: SATAN!

Thanks to the comments on the last post, most of the explainful bits of this one are done already – thanks folks. As a possible, Satan, or ‘Stan’ as my keyboard keeps calling him, lines up quite nicely with the extra-textual stuff Morrison’s been dropping in interviews and stuff lately, as well as with his past form in the Batlands, so I reckon it’s not a bad bet. You know who we’re talking about here, right? We’re talking about Satan, The Devil, Old Nick, Abaddon, The Accuser, The God of This World, The Father of Lies, The Great Dragon, The Enemy, The Evil One, The Old One, The Prince That Shall Come, Lucifer, Beelzebub, The Tempter, The Proud One, The Son of Perdition. You know – this guy:

Don’t laugh! He’ll stick a toasting fork in your bum forever if you laugh! He will!

More after the jump