July 18th, 2012


Hello SILENCERS, it’s your old pal the omniscient smartarse narrator, back once again to remind you to bend over, grab you r shoelaces and await the cosmic shunting that is SILENCE! no.22. Praise be to Jinkies!

In this cerebellum fondling episode, cosmic man-child Gary Lactus returns from his honeymoon to reap galactic vengence on his former partner, after last week’s anomalous high quality episode. But fear not – the Butch and Sundance of the comicopinionsphere are soon back to their merry ways, and Lactus reveals his new career as a fantasy prose writer, unveiling his meisterwork ‘Time of Crowns’ on an ill-prepared but Michael Bay-directed Beast.

The SILENCE! News has all the hottttt gozzip from this year’s San Diego Con that you can fit on the head of a pin, then it’s onwards, ever onwards into the howling maelstrom that is last  week’s comics…

AND SO….there’s talk of Sean Murphy’s Punk Rock Jesus, the final Bulletproof Coffin from serial comics abusers Shave Hike and Daky Kine, the wonderful Tales Designed to Thrizzle, forgotten British curio Gutted, Alan Davis’ Fantastic Four annual, Space: Punisher (with a nerdcore digression into Earth 616) Dinosaurs Vs Aliens from Sir Grant, Wolverine & The X-Men (fukk off crossover!), Batman and the Owl pellets, Walking Dead 100 (in which Beast inadvertently suggests some dubious things about himself) Sin City: That Yellow Bastard, the relaunched Eerie, and finally Robert Loren Fleming and Keith Giffen’s adaptation of Robert Bloch’s Hell On Earth (check the gallery for some stunning images from that) in The Beast’s Bargain Basement.

All this and not much more in the podcast that routinely fails to rise to the occasion…SILENCE!

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(Thanks to James Stokoe for the awesome SILENCE! banner)

Click below for the SILENCE! gallery…

28 Responses to “SILENCE! #22”

  1. Aaron Says:

    Did you see amypoodle’s footnote shout out in “Wild Children” last week? If any mindless read it, I’m curious to read your thoughts. For my part, I thought it was a big pile of shit.

  2. Gary Lactus Says:

    What’s wild children? Is it a new amazing superteam or a blog about comics boooks? Perhaps I shall google.

  3. Gary Lactus Says:

    Just googled “wild children comics Amy Poodle”. Don’t know what I’m looking for. May I please have some more informastion? I don’t really read comics blogs, sorry.

  4. The Beast Must Die Says:

    It’s a comic. By, I think, Ales Kot? Some Invisibles-esque thing apparently.

  5. Aaron Says:

    Yeah, Ales Kot and Riley Rossmo, it’s a one-off thing from Image. Invisbles-esque for sure, but without the wit or charm or characters. It looks lovely, though.

    Amypoodle’s TCJ essay about the Invisibles and hauntology is referenced as a footnote, which I thought was fun for my favorite comics blog except I wish it was in a better comic. But maybe I am just a jerk and it is actually awesome. Tell me what to think!

  6. The Beast Must Die Says:

    My friend once assured me, while in Berlin, that he could find a place ‘where you can f*ck a car’. I didn’t take him up on it, as he was pretty deranged at the time but it’s good to know the option’s out there. Bus sex though…well that’s a whole different ball game. For fetishists only I suspect…

    I think Mr Kot bought my Cindy & Biscuit comics so I feel I should return the favour.

  7. Illogical Volume Says:

    Just as well you’re a Marry Lactus or I’d be making a cross face at yr “what’s a wild children?” schtick – it’s almost as though you don’t have time to sift through all the cock talk in my emails to get to the meat (quiet Illogical Volume!), cos I’ve mentioned the comic and its Amypoodle shout-out a couple of times now. Ya bas.

    I liked Wild Children, proper young man’s comics like I used to read in *my* youth – think Kill Yr Boyfriend trying to be The Invisibles and you won’t be far off. I will be writing about it… soon.

    Good pod boyce. Will comment more for longer later.

  8. tam Says:

    Really sorry to hear about your ‘nice’ tomatoes, (do you see how cleverly I used the quotes just now?) and your traumatically overloaded taste buds, but at least you’re safely back in the land of insipid vegetables once again. If you’re hankering over some truly tasteless tomatoes to celebrate your return to Blighty, I strongly recommend the Tesco’s Basic Range.

  9. Adam Says:

    Tomato facts wot I heard a food scientist say on the Radio:

    1. Cooling them ruins their flavour.
    2. (More interesting fact) Tomatoes taste of quite literally bugger all until they’re processed in some way, i.e. by cutting, crushing (your teeth’ll do this), cooking, etc…

    Classic fantasy nogvel, Lactus. cLASSIC

  10. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Surely everything tastes of nothing until it’s eaten?

  11. Adam Says:

    Well yeah, but that’s not what I mean.

    Apparently the flavour compounds are only created when the tomato’s flesh is crushed or sliced. This relates to the cooling thing because the tomato’s capacity to generate said compounds decreases if they’re kept cold. Speculation: this is possibly part of the reason supermarket tomatoes are so tasteless.

    Here’s some facts about the bloke making the claims. He is a real scientist who is real.

  12. The Beast Must Die Says:

    And this relates to Batman how?

  13. Adam Says:


  14. J_Smitty_ Says:

    Oh wow.

    I have to say Igmus, I’ve never contemplated you in “that way.”


    Time of Crowns was just amazing. That’s commitment to a bit, my friend, and it was appreciated.

    As to the comics chat, I really liked how Murphy undercut the premise in PRJ. By having the company take the DNA from the Shroud of Turin and then in the text having its legitimacy questioned allowed the story, for me, to not be about “Hey, it’s Jesus Secundus,” and more about perception, media manipulation, and the like.

    I didn’t have to ask myself what I believed, as it pertains to matters of religion necessarily, but rather if a corporation draped in hubris could believe they might pull it off, make a baby, and call it JHC the sequel.

    That might all change next issue when the kids are turning water to wine for party tricks or whatever but for now, it’s a gift I’m giving the comic.

    Thanks, as ever!

  15. The Beast Must Die Says:

    Mmm. I liked how Punk Rock Jesus was intriguing enough for me to come back for seconds. I really like comics where you don’t know what the next issue might bring. It’s a bit of a lost art. And if PRJ goes off the boil, at least it may do so in an interesting way.

  16. Illogical Volume Says:

    Aye, Time of Crowns was delish, can’t wait for the next novel, A Feast of Wraiths, and the Young Adult spin-off series A Tangle of Badgers.

    Top writing Lactus!


    All of this tomato chat reminds me of the “Armando the Amazing Adult” sketch from the Armando Iannucci Shows, where Iannucci is dressed up as a wizard, travelling from school to school to show kids how to do adult stuff – “if you take one tin of chopped tomatoes, and add another vegetable, you get – hoozahzah – an acceptable pasta sauce”. Good advice that, but having tasted Lactus’ cooking, I reckon he could teach the advanced class.

    Punk Rock Jesus was fun despite the shitey title/cringy premise. I deffo get the 80s sci-fi comic that Beast describes off of it, but I also felt a bit like… you know how Mozzer tried to talk up his mid-naughties Vertigo work as being “Western Manga” or some such bumf? Well, that didn’t really describe any of those comics very accurately, but I got that sort of feeling from PRJ. I don’t know if it was the loverly black and white art or something about the pacing (this whole issue felt like prologue – in a good way) or if it’s just that some of the 80′s comics it resembles were at least in part the result of Western artists reworking a Manga influence ( Ronin, etc), but… I’ve been reading a little bit of the old manga recently, and this didn’t feel too out of sync with that.

    Marry Lactus – I can’t believe that you hadn’t read Tales Designed to Thrizzle until now! Makes me kind of jealous, actually , because you have so many great Michael Kupperman comics to catch up on, so many great jokes that just don’t go where anyone else would take them. Gotta love a comic where werewolf Columbo on the moon is just something that’s thrown in for texture, you know?


  17. Adam Says:

    The Beast Must Wed. New name

  18. tam Says:

    I can’t believe TBMD doesn’t know all about the Batman – Tomato connection.

  19. Adam Says:

    I know

  20. Ales Kot Says:

    Aaron: Fuck you!

    Nah. No fuck you. You don’t like ‘Wild Children’, that’s fine. You’re approximately the fourth or fifth person with negative feelings about the comic that I know of, which is significantly better than I expected things to be. Tell us more about why you don’t like it, maybe? I’d love to hear more.

    The Beast Must Die: You owe me nothing! That said, I am going to buy your comic, because I like it. Expect paypal account growth in near future.

    Also, why would you fuck a car when you can fuck James Spader and Holly Hunter inside a car?

  21. Gary Lactus Says:

    Reckon I’ll be reading wild children then.

  22. Ales Kot Says:

    Illogical Volume: Danke! Excited to read it. Kill Your Boyfriend & Hellblazer: Shoot directly inspired the thing.

  23. Ales Kot Says:

    Gary Lactus: Yay!

  24. Aaron Says:

    Ales: No no you were right the first time, I earned the “fuck you” for being a typical internet jerk in the first post. I apologize.

    I didn’t like Wild Children because, to me, it read like a lecture sometimes interrupted by action. And maybe that has something to do with expectations, because there’s inherently bad about a lecture in comic form, obviously, and I agree with the ideas you’re putting forward. But it’s also to do with not liking the lecturers – there’s a lot of talk of love in this book, but the characters are too sealed off by that jaded uber-cool selfawareness to seem capable of understanding or expressing any feeling, except maybe self-satisfaction. I put the book down when the guy in the dress said “How Cronenbergian” because I just couldn’t take the smirk. And then when I picked it up again Uma criticizes the guy in the dress for saying it, not because it’s empty but because it dates the comic. Which is funny, sure, but also ugh.

    All that said, I appreciate the provocation, and I much prefer arguing about a comic I didn’t like to just not caring. And I do think it looks gorgeous.

    And again, sorry about being a dick!

  25. Aaron Says:

    Aaron: Thanks, I appreciate it. And I apologize as well. Now hugs.

    I think you might have missed at least one possible reading of the comic. There are multiple ways of understanding what happens towards the end, and at least one of them definitely works with the “self-satisfied disconnected kids” thing. I mean, no one says the ending is actually real, and no-one says the comic is actually a comic, know what I’m saying? There’s a way of reading ‘Wild Children’ that moves the entire thing towards horror.

  26. Ales Says:

    That previous comment – that was me, not Aaron. The Talented Mr. Kot Strikes Again.

    (That’s a reference, not a self-congratulatory wank)

  27. Ales Says:

    (Although it probably just became both)

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