Mindless Ones

PREVIOUSLY IN BATMAN AND ROBIN 666….

In the aftermath of the Sensei’s attack on Gotham city and a near lethal , three pronged assault on their friends by super-assassins contracted by one of the shadowy forces vying for control of Nu-Gotham, Batman and Robin are forced to make some tough decisions.

With his secret identity compromised and Lucius Fox hospitalised by the dreadful killer Action Figure, Damian Wayne decides its time to go public and unmask.

It’s the morning after the last of the assassins was defeated and most of the team are shored up in Bat Mountain, Batman’s hidden fortress folded into the architecture of Wayne Tower.

PAGE 1

PANEL 1

Low angle. Early morning and the sun’s just starting to climb up Gotham’s skyscrapers, but the day’s young enough that the vast advertising hoardings are still firing on all cylinders and the commuters, office workers and tourists have yet to fill up every available space. The Japanese woman from the Coca Cola ad in Bladerunner’s up to her old tricks again (she should be a feature in as many panels as possible), and beneath her a fight rages.

Three Gorrillas (see above) are locked in combat with the weirdest superteam imaginable: Two twins who look something like this

(ra-ra skirts included), a demon, straight outta the M R James’s story Cannon Alberic’ s Scrapbook*, in a blood red, ragged velvet cape and domino mask and the lion Headed guy we saw last issue. Gorrilla 1 crouches by his pal (no 2) and blasts at the twins with a white rocket launcher, sending one flying backwards through a holo ad, her rainbow face trailing colours like blood, while the other dodges into the air out the way, poised to retaliate. The skeleton leaps, fangs bared, at Gorilla 3, and the lion man, well, he’s just resting on a car. He couldn’t give a shit. One thing: the only essential details in the panel descriptions are what occurs between Gorrilla 1 and the Lion chappy. The rest is just for fun.

* “At first you only saw a mass of coarse, matted black hair; presently it was seen that this covered a body of fearful thinness, almost a skeleton, but with the muscles standing out like wires. The hands were of a dusky pallor, covered, like the body, with long, coarse hairs, and hideously taloned. The eyes, touched in with a burning yellow, had intensely black pupils….. ……Imagine one of the awful bird-catching spiders of South America translated into human form, and endowed with intelligence just less than human, and you will have some faint conception of the terror inspired by this appalling effigy.”

PANEL 2

Gorilla 1 begins reloading. 2 dives into the air, covering him, and crashes into the uninjured twin. The skeleton takes a chunk out of Gorilla 3’s shoulder.

The Lion man gets up, dusting himself down….

PANEL 3

He strolls over to Gorilla 1. Gorilla 3 and the rainbow twin come crashing to the ground where the other twin lies twitching, rainbow seeping along the concrete all around her.

PANEL 4

Gorilla 1 manages to fire the rocket launcher just in time….

PAGE 2

PANEL 1

…but it just bounces off the lion man and goes careening across the square….

PANEL 2

…where it detonates, blowing up the skeleton and the Gorrilla 3 (hair and bones everywhere) . The Lion Man smirks at the cowering gorilla in front of him.

PANEL 3

He opens his mouth in a shit eating lion smile.

VOICE OFF PANEL: (through loud speaker) HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU MUTHAF*****S

PANEL 4

Pull back. The combatants are surrounded by riot police and squad cars. All guns are trained on them. The riot gear should be pretty futuristic – I’m thinking Halo-style – but the GCPD SWAT badges should be clear. There’s a clear distinction between the more pedestrian, common or garden cops and the  futuristic SWAT guys.

PAGE 3

PANEL 1

The lion Man turns to the Bladerunner ad above and behind him. The Japanese woman pauses and looks down at him.

THE NEMEAN: KEIKO?

PANEL 2

Big Panel taking in the whole square. The woman in the advert comes roaring out of the screen, Sadako style. She hunches, half in and half out of the screen, bellowing at the police, her eyes and mouth bleeding red light. Really fucking scary. The squad car windows explode.

PANEL 3

The bat-signal lights up her face, blinding her.

PANEL 4

Reverse shot of Batman swooping in. The symbol on his chest is emmiting the signal.

PAGE 4

PANEL 1

Inset. He peers out from behind his fingers at his prey, exhausted. The light from the sun and the signal bleeds into the next panel.

BATMAN: (small) I JUST WANT TO GO HOME.

PANEL 2

Cut to….

And what could be more homely and domestic than Alfred the cat, curled up in a sunbeam? He sits on a plain blue surface, cleaning a paw.

SPEECH BUBBLE: ( Black with white writing, tail-less and transitioning from the Batman panel to this) WAKEY! WAAAKEY!

ZEPELLIN’S INTERCOMM … RNING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

(2): I TRUST THE VIEW FROM UP HERE IS STIMULATING ENOUGH TO CLEAR AWAY THE COBWEBS FROM EVEN THE SLEEPIEST EYES.

PANEL 3

We pull out a bit as he gets to his feet.

INTERCOMM: AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, ON BEHALF OF MYSELF AND THE PILOT I’D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ALL ONBOARD. OUR BREAKFAST MENU IS NOW AVAILABLE…

(2): (between panels) ….AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LIKE TO GET OFF TO AN EARLY START, WE’LL BE SERVING DRINKS AT THE BAR IN THE NEXT FIFTEEN MINUTES.

PANEL 4

And now behind him. He appears to be on a ledge of some kind. He faces the empty space in front of him, his fur blowing in the wind.

INTERCOMM: LET’S HOPE THAT’S NOT TOO MANY OF YOU!

SFX: (Laughter)

INTERCOMM: OKAY, TO KICK START OUR TOUR WITH – AND I HOPE YOU WON’T MIND ME SAYING THIS – ONE OF OUR HIGHLIGHTS.; IF YOU LOOK OUT THE WINDOW TO YOUR LEFT YOU’LL BE ABLE TO MAKE OUT THE MAGNIFICENT WAYNE INDUSTRIES TOWER.

PANEL 5

He dives headlong into it.

INTERCOMM: THE ORIGINAL STRUCTURE, ERECTED IN 1963,  WAS A SHADOW OF THE TOWER’S PRESENT DAY INCARNATION WHICH NOW CLOCKS IN AT A STAGGERING 3678 FEET, JUST UNDER TWICE THE SIZE OF LEX LUTHOR’S SPACE MOUNTAIN!

INTERCOMM: EVEN GOTHAM’S FAMOUS BAT PROBLEM CAN’T REACH THAT HIGH!

SFX: (More laughter)

PAGE 5

PANEL 1

Large panel. Aerial view. The penny drops. Alfred has leapt off one of the passenger compartments hanging off the side of a massive Wayne Industries tour zepellin, where he was taking a quick power nap after a good night’s hunt, and into the Gotham skyline. We can’t see the zepellin in this shot, but we can see the city spread out below him, like a luminous concrete, steel and plastic canyon, only slightly dulled by the coming of the new day’s sun (which has started to get peculiarly bright (post-club bright. painful)), and the GCPD helicopter he’s aiming for, which will serve as a useful stepping stone on his way to Wayne Tower on the far side of the panel.

INTERCOMM: OR SO WE… WHAT THE HELL!

PANEL 2

From below and in front of the copter. The pilots stare out the window, speechless, as Alfred leapfrogs off the copter, the zeppelin floating high above it, and…

PANEL 3

…lands on the ledge of an open window at the top of Wayne Tower. It’s almost as though someone left it open for him, but no, this is the half repaired Boardroom that was destroyed in issue #6.

BLUE SPEECH BUBBLE AGAIN (henceforth known as voice): OH DEAR, I KNEW THIS WOULD BE DIFICULT.

PANEL 3

He jumps off the ledge onto the floor. Most of the wreckage has been cleared away, but there’s still a pile of glass in the far corner and a few bloodstains the cleaners have been unable to remove from the carpet.

VOICE: RISE AND SHINE, SIR. YOU’VE A BUSY DAY AHEAD AND YOU NEED TO BE ON TOP FORM.

ALFRED: GROOKAN?

MAN’S VOICE FROM OFF PANEL: (Not to be confused with THE VOICE. low and mumbling) ——-

PANEL 4

Alfred nips through the door to the boardroom.

MAN’S VOICE: (from beyond the door) …ND THOSE GODDAMN CLEANERS HAVE LEFT THE DOOR TO THE BOARDROOM AJAR AG….

PANEL 5

Alfred stands frozen in the hallway (by the lifts), catching a young Wayne Industries hotshot and his secretary leaving the gents loo redhanded. They’re both slightly the worse for wear, and they stare, wide-eyed at Alfred, amazed to see him.

HOTSHOT: THE PHANTOM CAT OF WAYNE TOWER!

ALFRED: MWWRP!

PAGE 7

PANEL 1

The hotshot launches himself at Alfred who dodges out the way. The secretary grabs for him, obviously alarmed by his behaviour. It’s only a cat afterall.

HOTSHOT: (jagged and angry) BASTARD!

(2): I’LL TEACH YOU TO USE MY DESK AS A LITTER TRAY!

PANEL 2

Alfred dodges under the legs of the secretary as her boss flails around.

PANEL 3

Alfred darts into a cubicle.

HOTSHOT: (off panel) GODDAMN BRUNSSMAN AND SLORGE LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF AT ME, TELLING EVERYONE I P****D MY PANTS!

PANEL 4

He faces a tile just below the seat of the toilet.

HOTSHOT: AHA! CORNERED!

(2): I GOT YOU NOW BASTARD!

PANEL 5

The hotshot kicks the door open.

SFX: BAM!

PANEL 6

The hotshot and the secretary both peer in, dumbfounded.

SECRETARY: …MY GOD.

(2): WHERE DID HE GO?

PAGE 8

Splash. Alfred, knowing all the secret pathways through Wayne Tower, has just escaped through his equivalent of the rocky hologram outside Wayne Manor, but in this case it’s a tile in the boardroom’s loo. These two pages depict his passage from the cubicle, through the concrete, the plumbing, the electrics and eventually the solid rock of bat-mountain, and out and into the cave itself. Each strata of the tesseracted superstructure should dissolve like water into the other, just to make the weird direction Alfred’s travelling in sensible to the reader. By the time we turn the page he’s already probing at the cat-flap that leads to the batcave’s kitchen. Another weird thing about this panel – it’s upside down, Alfred strolling vertically down the page as opposed to left to right, just to underline the strangeness.

CAP: JEEZ, ED, I GUESS THE RUMOURS MUST BE TRUE AFTER ALL!

VOICE: I SUPPOSE IT’S TOO MUCH TO IMAGINE ANYONE WOULD DEIGN TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME.

TITLE BANNER: DAYFALL PART 1 of 5 – THE PHANTOM CAT OF WAYNE TOWER

PAGE 9

PANEL 1

From above. Alfred passes through the catflap and into the kitchen, freezing midstep, his hackles raised. The light is so much dimmer and more soothing here. The reader needs to feel that it’s early *evening* in the Batcave.

(A quick note on the decor. Last time we were in the cave’s living quarters we didn’t really get a look at the rooms. Damian’s taken a cue from his father in terms of interior design, and, apart from the central, connecting corridor which is all metal and glass (complete with the bat-holograms from issue 666), the rooms on the lower floor – the kitchen,  toilet, dining room and living room – could’ve been lifted straight out of Wayne Manor. This suggests that the kitchen would have something of the scullery about it. I leave the exact layout up to you.)

VOICE: OH MY!

PANEL 2

Reverse shot. Puppy lies curled up in Alfred’s basket – it’s quite a squeeze! –  between Alfred and his breakfast, one eye opened lazily (she’s wearing a nightie, so don’t get excited furry fans!).

ALFRED: HSSSSSSSS!

PANEL 3

Puppy snarls.

PUPPY: GRRRRRR!

JUDAH: (off panel) NICO!

PANEL 4

Puppy launches herself at Alfred, snapping and drooling as Judah races onto the scene in blue bat-pajamas, dropping his peanut butter on toast as he reaches for his young charge, trying to calm her. He’s barely slept because he’s been up with Puppy all night, so his eyes are all puffy and his rockabilly quiff is slightly wilted, however he’s decided he might as well get up and face the day and that means there’s a resigned quality about him too.

Alfred’s leapt up onto the work surface beating a hasty retreat.

PUPPY: GRAHHWARARAHW!

JUDAH: NICOLETTA, NO!

PAGE 10

PANEL 1

Alfred makes his way down the corridor. Damian’s getting out the lift in front of him.

BATMAN: (small) WHAT A NIGHT…

JUDAH: (off panel in background) CALM DOWN, GIRL. CALM….

PUPPY: (SFX if you want. low) rrrrrrrr

PANEL 2

Damian, looking  a little bedraggled, bends down to pet his cat.

DAMIAN: EVENING, I MEAN, MORNING, ALFRED. YOU’RE OFF TO SEE ROBIN, AREN’T YOU?

(2): DON’T FORGET TO SEND THE CAR OUT FIRST, IT’S NEARLY EIGHT ALREADY.

ALFRED: GRRRP LELLEP.

PANEL 3

Alfred strolls off down the corridor towards the entrance to the cave.

DAMIAN: (off panel. Calling after him) I’LL BE DOWN TO MEET IT IN HALF AN HOUR, I’VE JUST GOT TO GET READY.

PANEL 4

The bat-blast doors at the end of the corridor open for him and he passes through, into the cave.

DAMIAN: (calling to Alfred off panel) AND WE’RE HAVING PEOPLE OVER LATER, SO MAKE SURE THE CAVE’S SPICK AND SPAN AFTER YOU FINISH UP WITH ROBIN, WON’T YOU?

ALFRED: BLORB

DAMIAN: “BLORB”

PAGE 11

PANEL 1

In the cave. There’s a light in the distance, deep in the darkness – a campfire? – but the main focus of attention should be the bat-ufo and a small, ancient piano standing in front of it.

PANEL 2

Alfred leaps up and whacks a key.

SFX: TING!

THE VOICE: YOU TOLD ME TO GET YOU UP EARLY THIS MORNING. IT’S BEEN TWO WEEKS LAST TUESDAY, YOU ASS.

PANEL 3

He lands.

THE VOICE: I HAVE TO SAY, IT’S ALL RATHER HORRID. RATS AND WHATNOT.

SFX: (quietly) YEEEEEEEEEE

PANEL 4

The UFO turns pale green and fades as it rotates.

THE VOICE: THE FACT FINDING MISSIONS WERE A SUCCESS AND NOW ITS TIME TO….

ALFRED: (overlapping the other bubble) PWOLL YEEEW PLEEES STORB JOBBERIG FAW WEOOWN MINUTE, I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINK.

SFX: (large and scary. A haunted house font) EEEEAAAARRRRRAARRRAA

PANEL 5

Match on shot of Alfred watching the UFO as it spins faster and faster, fading almost entirely.

THE VOICE: AH.

(2): THERE YOU ARE.

SFX: (even bigger) AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR

PAGE 12

PANEL 1

With a roar the UFO vanishes.

SFX: (HUGE!) RRRRRRRARGH!

PANEL 2

Alfred waits a beat.

ALFRED: (the dialogue is fractured, like a computer game crashing) xGRAWKASHANAHADx.

(2): FOOGLE.

PANEL 3

WHHOOOOMMM! A large, blue scaly foot lands in front of him.

SFX: WHHOOOOMMM!

PANEL 4

Alfred looks up.

PAGE 13

PANEL 1

Low angle. Maybe running down left hand side of page.  Ace towers above Alfred. He still looks a bit green around the gills.

ALFRED: AND HOW ARE WE THIS MORNING, ACE?

PANEL 2

Ace leans down into his tiny furry friend.

ACE: (green and wobbly text and speech bubble) NOB DOO WEB, I’B AFRAIB.

(2): UH ABE SUMBIG GUY SHOOBOB HAB.

ALFRED: OH DEAR, I’M SORRY. SHOULD YOU BE UP AND AB

VOICE: (interrupting) THAT’S MUCH BETTER.

PANEL 3

Alfred snaps round in a circle, trying to grasp the invisible pest.

ALFRED: MWEEEEEORW!

ACE: WOB ROG? WOB IB IB?

PANEL 4

Alfred’s left panting, exhausted and exasperated.

ALFRED: I DON’T KNOW <huff!>. IS THIS PLACE HAUNTED?

(2): MY <hoo!> MEMORY DOESN’T SEEM TO BE WORKING PROPERLY.

(3): IT COMES AS SOMETHING OF A SURPRISE THAT I’M SPEAKING THE QUEEN’S ENGLISH, FRANKLY.

PANEL 5

He looks at Ace, puzzled.

ALFRED: AND WITH A DINOSAUR NO LESS….

ACE: WEB UB CARNB HAM AROUMB. GOB HUMBIG POO BOO.

(2): CLIB BY HEB.

PAGE 14

PANEL 1

Alfred watches Ace flap off into the blackness.

ACE: GUBUH!

PANEL 2

He wanders towards the campfire passing the bat-starship, which he shoots the same curious look he shot Ace . Robin and the Black Rabbit are toasting marshmallows around the flames. She’s sat on the bat-dodgem. He’s on the floor, but now he looks considerably more humanoid. Bipedal. He’s been running at full power for ages now and, as a result, his normally vividly coloured skin has faded somewhat (mirrored, of course, by his dialogue). As for Robin, she’s still wearing the same togs from last episode, but she looks like she’s been dancing all night. They don’t have to be that clear in this panel but it’s all good to know for the rest of the scene.

The campfire is located in roughly the same area of the cave that the dodgem was parked last issue. We should feel we’re on the hinterland of the cave’s inhabited area here. Beyond lies the steep, steep drop into the mountain. At the moment  the lights fixed into the giant tunnel running through it are off and the fire is the only source of light.

VOICE: I SUPPOSE I MIGHT AS WELL LET ROBIN TAKE OVER FROM HERE.

ALFRED: I WISH YOU WOULD.

(2): (small) WHO’S ROBIN?

PANEL 3

Robin jumps up with glee when she sees the cat. The Rabbit turns.

ROBIN: ALF! IT’S ABOUT TIME!

ROBIN: HOW’S IT GOING, SWEETIE?

ALFRED: HMMM. I’M NOT QUITE SURE WHO I AM, I’M BEING PURSUED BY AN UNQUIET SPIRIT AND I’M HOLDING FORTH WITH DINOSAURS.

(2): YOU TELL ME.

PANEL 4

Alfred rubs up and down her legs, like a cat should.

ROBIN: AND YOU’RE STILL SPEAKING IN DINOSAUR, “OLD CHAP”.

ROBIN: NOT QUITE SHIP SHAPE YET, EH, WOT?

(2): MAYBE YOU’LL FEEL BETTER IF YOU GET ON MY LAP.

PANEL 5

He Leaps up as Robin pats her knees encouragingly.

ALFRED: HMMM. OKAY…

(2): BUT THIS IS VERY UNDIGNIFIED.

PAGE 15

PANEL 1

Robin gestures to the rabbit as Alfred settles into her lap

ROBIN: ALFIE, I’M NOT SURE YOU TWO HAVE BEEN PROPERLY INTRODUCED.

(2): I’D LIKE YOU TO MEET THE BLACK RABBIT.

(3): LAST TIME YOU MET HE WAS A PSYCHOTIC MARTIAN WARHEAD AND YOU WERE A DUMB LIDDLE PUDDY CAT.

PANEL 2

They nod to each other, somewhat icily.

THE BLACK RABBIT: CHARMED I’M SURE.

ALFRED: LIKEWISE, SIR.

PANEL 3

Robin’s clearly amused by their frostiness.

ROBIN: YOU ENGLISH BUTLER TYPES CAN SMELL EACH OTHER A MILE OFF, CAN’T YOU?

(3): THOUGH STRICTLY SPEAKING NEITHER OF YOU ARE REALLY ENGLISH…

THE BLACK RABBIT: I’M NOT SURE THAT I’M REALLY ANYTHING, MISS ROBIN, BUT MARAIN’S VOICE ALWAYS WAS THE LOUDEST, THE SUB-ROUTINE I IDENTIFIED WITH THE MOST.

PANEL 4

Robin pops a marshmallow in her mouth. Alfred’s ears prick up.

ROBIN: YOU’RE NOT GOING TO START RAVING ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF, ARE YOU? I GET ENOUGH OF THAT “ESSENTIAL NATURE” CRAP FROM THE BOSS.

ALFRED: SO YOU KNOW ABOUT DAMIAN’S VISIT TO DOCTOR FATE?

PANEL 5

Robin stops stroking Alfred, surprised. He scratches at her chest.

ROBIN: HAHA! LOOK WHOSE MEMORY’S KICKSTARTING!

(2): YOU’LL SOON BE NAGGING ME TO “WASH UP” AFTER MYSELF AGAIN.

ALFRED: WELL, YOU NEVER…

(2): OH.

PAGE 16

PANEL 1

Robin kicks off a boot.

ROBIN: DON’T WORRY, IT’S QUITE NORMAL. AT THIS STAGE IN THE PROCESS IT’LL ALL BE RETURNING IN ERRATIC BURSTS.

ROBIN: JUST GO WITH IT.

PANEL 2

She rubs him under the chin.

ROBIN: WHAT DID ACE HAVE TO SAY FOR HIMSELF?

ALFRED: I DONT… SOMETHING ABOUT “HUMBIG”?

ROBIN PLAY NICE! I BET YOU’VE BEEN COMING OUT WITH SOME ODD OUTBURSTS YOURSELF. IT’S ALWAYS THIS WAY WHEN THE LANGUAGE CENTRES REACTIVATE.

PANEL 3

She kicks off the other boot.

ROBIN: AND HE MEANT ‘HUNTING’.

ROBIN: WHICH REMINDS ME.

PANEL 4

Robin leans back, warming her tootsies by the fire and facing the Black Rabbit again, nodding towards him.

(2): BEFORE YOU INTERRUPTED HIM, MR. WABBIT OVER THERE WAS JUST REGALING US WITH CAMPFIRE TALES OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION ON A GLOBAL SCALE.

BLACK RABBIT: WOULD YOU KINDLY REFRAIN FROM THE MISTER WABBIT JOKES? I DON’T TAKE MY CUE FROM CHILDREN’S CARTOONS.

PANEL 5

Robin shrugs.

ROBIN: AS YOU SAID, YOU DON’T TAKE YOUR CUE FROM ANYWHERE YET. ONE PERSONALITY’S AS GOOD AS THE NEXT.

PAGE 17

PANEL 1

The Rabbit stares at her, trying to figure her out.

BLACK RABBIT: YOU GAVE UP ON YOUR HUMANITY A LONG TIME AGO DIDN’T YOU, MISS ROBIN?

PANEL 2

Robin looks at the fire wistfully.

BLACK RABBIT: (off panel) NOW WHERE WAS I?

(2): OH YES.

THE BLACK RABBIT: (transitioning between panels) INSPITE OF WHAT YOU MIGHT’VE HEARD, MOST SERVITOR MISSILES AREN’T NANOTECH, BUT SLAVED MARTIAN OMNI-FLESH.

PANEL 3

Space. A huge, cloaked (so translucent) battleship sits in the foreground (see the Dominator’s spaceships in the Invasion mini-series for reference) above a shiny, blue/green planet.

(2): IT’S PROVEN SO EFFECTIVE THAT MOST OMEGA LEVEL CULTURES HAVE BEEN RELYING ON IT TO FIGHT THEIR WARS FOR 10,000 YEARS.

PANEL 4

A row of servitor missiles, pre deployment. The missiles look fairly standard, except for their negative black *sheen* and a row of dreamy looking eyes travelling down the bulk of their, umm, bodies.

THE BLACK RABBIT: IN THE EARLY STAGES OF THEIR CAMPAIGN TO CONQUER THE GALAXY, THE DOMINATORS SET ABOUT ELIMINATING ANY ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS THAT COULD HAVE STOOD IN THEIR WAY.

THE BLACK RABBIT: OUTRIGHT WAR WOULD HAVE DRAWN UNWANTED ATTENTION, SO THEY TEST RAN A STRATEGY THAT WOULD SERVE THEM WELL IN THE YEARS THAT FOLLOWED.

PAGE 18

PANEL 1

A missile is loaded into a firing bay by a yellow, taloned hand.

CAP: AND THE DREAMING MISSILES, KEPT IN STASIS BETWEEN MISSIONS, WERE A KEY COMPONENT IN ITS SUCCESS.

CAP: WE’RE TALKING ABOUT OUTER-SPACE, YES? STASIS… THAT’S INTERESTING…

CAP: SHHH, ALFRED! LISTEN!

CAP: (transitioning again) THE FIRST PLANET THEY CHOSE WAS NOT DISIMILAR TO EARTH.

PANEL 2

A missile landing in a field, the soil craterises, the grass kicked up by the impact.

THE BLACK RABBIT: TO BEGIN WITH THEY DEPOSITED BILLIONS OF THE GLOBAL CURRENCY IN VARIOUS BANK ACCOUNTS, THEN THEY TOOK CONTROL OF THE WORLD’S LARGEST MEDIA CONGLOMERATE.

(2): ONLY AFTER THAT DID THEY DEPLOY ME.

PANEL 3

A humanoid male, black, incredibly beautiful and dressed in a extremely well tailored suit, crawls from the crater, unharmed.

THE BLACK RABBIT: I WAS PROGRAMMED TO EMBODY ALL THEIR STRENGTHS. EVEN MY VOICE WAS MODULATED AT A PITCH THAT WOULD MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE.

(2): I WAS FITTED WITH AN INTELLECT AND ARTISTIC ABILITY FAR, FAR IN ADVANCE OF THEIR GREATEST MINDS AND MASTERS.

(3): (transitioning between panels) AND, OF COURSE, PHYSICALLY I WAS AS POWERFUL AS I EVER WAS.

PANEL 4

Reverse shot. The man strides towards a city on the horizon. Two children run to him to see if he’s okay.

THE BLACK RABBIT: IT WAS LIKE THIS, THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, THAT I MARCHED ON THE CAPITAL CITY TO FULFILL MY OBJECTIVE.

ALFRED: YOUR STORY, IT REMINDS ME…URK!

ROBIN: SHHHHH!

PANEL 5

He kneels down to greet them, smiling warmly.

THE BLACK RABBIT: TO DEPOSE THE INTER-CONTINENTAL PRESIDENCY AND INITIATE A NUCLEAR WAR THAT WOULD BRING THIS META-GENETICALLY ACTIVE, NEWLY SPACE-FARING RACE TO ITS KNEES.

PAGE 19

PANEL 1

Close on his eyes, red, alien writing replacing his pupils: Dominator for ‘ARMED’. Reflected flames burn around the word.

BLACK RABBIT: CONSERVATIVE ESTIMATES SAW ME COMPLETING MY MISSION IN TEN YEARS.

BLACK RABBIT: IT TOOK FIVE.

PANEL 2

The rabbit stares into the fire, remembering the flames.

THE BLACK RABBIT: AFTER THAT I WAS GIFTED WITH THE DREAM OF A THOUSAND ELECTRIC LOVERS. IT MAKES ME SICK TO TH…

ROBIN: (off panel) YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU CAN SHUT UP ABOUT IT NOW. YOU’VE DONE YOUR JOB.

(2):THE CAT’S DEAD.

PANEL 3

Robin’s on her feet now, holding the dead cat at arms length and holding her nose.

THE BLACK RABBIT: (off panel) EXCUSE ME?

ROBIN: I SAID THE CAT’S DEAD.

(2): DON’T LOOK SO SHOCKED. ITS ONLY HIS BODY. HIS CONSCIOUSNESS IS UPLOADING INTO THE OLD MODEL AS WE SPEAK.

PANEL 4

Robin tosses the corpse into the flames.

ROBIN: MEGADEATH’S A HOOT, BUT I READ ALL ABOUT IT YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS REWIRING YOU AND UNINSTALLING THAT MARAIN CRAP.

(2): YOUR LITTLE BEDTIME STORY WASN’T FOR MY BENEFIT.

(3): IT WAS FOR ALFRED’S.

PANEL 5

The Rabbit looks shocked.

ROBIN: DON’T LOOK SO SURPRISED. WHY ELSE DO YOU THINK I KEPT THIS FIRE GOING?

(2): TO KEEP WARM?

PANEL 6

The cat burns.

ROBIN: BACK BEFORE HE GREW WHISKER’S TWO WEEKS AGO, ALFRED ENTRUSTED ME WITH PIECING HIM BACK TOGETHER, AND I KNEW YOU’D HIT ALL THE MAJOR BEATS.

ROBIN: THINK OF THEM AS A SERIES OF KEYS.

PAGE 20

PANEL 1

Close on the Bat-starship, lowered, it’s gangway open, stairs extended.

CAP: STARSHIPS.

PANEL 2

Inside. A carbon freeze bursts open, revealing a naked man, gasping. He’s a bit unclear at the moment.

PANEL 3

CAP: STASIS.

MAN: <GASP!>

PANEL 4

From behind. The man pulls on some black trousers.

CAP: THE RABBIT THAT TURNED INTO A MAN. OR IN HIS CASE, THE CAT.

CAP: SAME DIFFERENCE.

CAP: POOR GUY, HE WOULD’VE EXPERIENCED SOME MAJOR DISASSOCIATION TO BEGIN WITH, BUT THEN…YOU’RE AN EXPERT ON THAT AS WELL.

PAGE 21

PANEL 1

Batman waits by the piano, checking his bat-watch. He’s wearing the see-thru Batsuit we saw in issue six. On closer inspection, diaphonous would be a better way to describe it. The bare flesh on his face also appears sheathed by it, and it glows a pale green,

CAP: ANYONE ELSE WOULD’VE ALLOWED THEMSELVES A FEW DAYS TO COME ROUND. THE ONTOLOGICAL SHOCK CAN OFTEN PROVE FATAL.

CAP: BUT ALFRED HAS A LOT TO DO TODAY, AND HE ALWAYS DID LIKE TO BE PUNCTUAL.

VOICE: (off panel) MASTER DAMIAN?

PANEL 2

Alfred Pennyworth stands at his master’s side carrying a silver tray upon which are perched a bottle of expensive champagne and two fluted glasses. He arches an eyebrow. In the background the bat-ufo’s rotating back into our dimension.

ALFRED: CHAMPAGNE FOR THE LADY?

PANEL 3

Damian puts his hand on Alfred’s shoulder, smiling warmly as a hatch opens in the UFO behind them.

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PANEL 1

Alfred turns to face their new guest, with the same imperious look in his eyes he always had.

CAP: IT’LL BE GOOD TO HAVE  HIM BACK, EVEN IF HE IS A SNOOTY OLD BUZZARD.

CAP: DAMIAN NEEDS HIS FRIENDS AROUND HIM NOW.

PANEL 2

Green, translucent calves and feet, strapped into silver heels, descend stairs extending from the UFO

CAP: YES, MISS ROBIN, THE CAVE IS FILLING UP WITH PEOPLE….

CAP: AS I SAID TO JUDAH…. HE HAS HIS REASONS. EVERYTHING WILL BECOME CLEAR SOON.

PANEL 3

Cut to Judah and Puppy as the lift doors close. Judah’s fully dressed, but this time just in a plain vest and blue jeans, Puppy is wearing one of Robin’s dresses, a long laura ashley inspired, floral number and a long, chiffon scarf around her neck. She looks a little uncomfortable……

CAP: ANYWAY, IT’S GOING TO GET MUCH BUSIER.

CAP: MORE WILL BE COMING TONIGHT. WE MIGHT HAVE TO PLACE AN AD IN TOYTOWN FOR LAST MINUTE HELP!

PANEL 4

And a final cut of Ace flapping through the darkness of the mountain before…..

CAP: BUT RIGHT NOW WE HAVE HOURS TO KILL.

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PANEL 1

…we return to Robin who’s suddenly turned deadly serious.

ROBIN: HOURS AND HOURS UNTIL HE TEARS EVERYTHING DOWN.

PANEL 2

Close on her face. Real concern expressed.

ROBIN: BEFORE BATMAN UNDOES DECADES OF SECRECY AND REVEALS HIS IDENTITY TO THE WORLD.

PANEL 3

Pull out into the depths of the mountain. We can just make out the silhouettes of the Rabbit and Robin around the fire.

ROBIN: <SIGH!> IT’S GOING TO BE A LONG DAY, MR. WABBIT.

PANEL 4

Out even further.

PANEL 5

The fire’s now a gleaming speck.

ROBIN: ….DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MY SECRET ORIGIN?

END OF PART ONE.