Hello, Lactus here. I’m just sitting at home enjoying an Excelsior lager and thinking about The King’s Crowns.

No one in the history of comics has ever come up with such consistantly challenging head gear as Jack Kirby so I’ve trawled through a whole load of his stuff and identified the cream of the crop to share with you.

This chap is The Prime One from Kirby’s New Gods:

The Prime One

It’s a wonderful get-up reminiscent of Galactus’s but more rounded and less imposing yet a smidgeon more fancy. This whole outfit cries “ceremonial” with the sort of baroque stylings used by royalty to inspire admiration and awe in lesser beings like you.

This guy turns up in Mister Miracle #12:

Imagine you’d managed to give this happy chappy your phone number when you were drunk because you felt sorry for him and now he keeps phoning you but you’re too polite to tell him where to go. As Kirby helmets go it’s not the most daring or immediately exciting but wait…

A little man with a big head! Hooray! Perhaps you will meet up with him for a drink after all, just for the laughs.

Now here’s a jolly fellow…

He’s an unnamed New God. I love his ornate full-facial lattice-work crownoid thing. I also had to show you all this because it looks like he has a magical see-through scrotum filled with multi coloured balls which allows him to levitate. I suppose you’d need to levitate with a scrotum like that.

Well, I think that’s enough helmetry for the moment. It’s the final of America’s Next Top Model in a bit.

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