Mindless Ones

Sorry, the pictures in this post are not in 3-D, it was just the first pun title that came to mind. As far as I’m aware it’s not even possible to do blog posts that extend beyond just the first two Ds. Odd really, you’d have thought they’d have worked it out by now – what else are all those boffins at NASA, Microsoft and McDonalds doing on their smoke breaks if not working out how to universalise multidimensional online entertainment? Blue and red contact lenses stapled to newborn babies’ eyes maybe? Get to it Gates, or if you’re not clever enough for the challenge, why not make way for…

Oh yeah. Reed Richards’ fluid, elastic body is a pliable as his mind, but he is all man. The Invisible Woman may secretly yearn for an aristocratic deep-sea life as Prince Namor’s consort, far from the stresses of downtown high rise living, where the kids are throwing each other through walls and the insurance company won’t take your calls because the N-zone bomb in hubby’s rumpus room could drop at any minute. It’s enough to drive you mad, but she stays, and these pants remind you why. Look at that fist. No woman could leave a man with a body like that, who can so well adorn pants like this, the absolute favourites from my collection.

Just look at those bloody pants. Keks don’t get much better than that, do they? If you can find me on Facebook you’ll see a picture of me and my backfat wearing those pants on a beach in Cornwall. It’s far from pretty, but rather amusing, unless you’re me. I’ve forgotten my Facebook password on purpose.

These other fantastipants are easily my personal favourites. They were the second pair I was given, and are the only pants in my wonderful collection that feature the image of a woman, thereby fulfilling my modern metrosexualist male need to affirm my genitalia’s feminine side.

The shot of Sue Storm in her mid sixties Mary Quant period is just beautiful, like a see-thru Dusty Springfield (just like Dusty might have sometimes wished). I am proud to wear that image draped about my evilness.

Also of note is the shot of Sue’s brother Johnny yelling ‘FLAME ON!’, not far from where my anus is on the days when I’m wearing these magnificent Kirby pop art masterpieces. The appropriate accompanying joke there has the phrase ‘Chicken Tikka Jalfrezi’ in the first half, and I’m sure that’s all you need to know. Better that than a gag about my ‘Thing’ though, surely?

Anyway, let’s leave the ass-laughs for another day, and all reconvene here tomorrow for a look at a green angry beast who can often be found in the vicinity of my undies.