Mindless Ones

It had to happen. My underwear collection is famous throughout D-wing, and I am justly proud. Mr. Mackay says laundry privileges are out unless I humiliate myself before the internet. (I rely on him for protection from Fletcher and his mindless thugs.) So this is it. My pants. (EDITOR’S NOTE: in America, they use the word ‘pants’ incorrectly, mistakenly believing it to mean ‘trousers’. This post, and those subsequent, are using the word in its UK meaning of ‘underpants’. Clearly, a week or so of blog posts about superhero trousers would be ridiculous.)

To start with, here are my newest and favourite pants. Featuring both Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, they are the living, breathing blockbuster fashion pant of Summer 2008. At least until I get me some Batman ones.

What are these two doing here, do you think? Has Iron Man farted, and is he forcing the Hulk to take a sniff? Or is something far wetter about to go off? (Lot’s of flatulence-, toilet- and secretion-based ‘jokes’ in this little runs of posts, by the way, so perhaps trot on over to The Savage Critics or someone if you’re actually looking for some clever or informative comics chat; or if you have a sense of humour developed to just a healthy, adult level.)

Probably the best thing about these tremendous pants is the wonderful mid-90s Image-ripoff art with which these serious, grown-up stars of silver screen are captured. It’s retro-perfecto, so now it could literally have been rendered tomorrow afternoon. Look at the fineness of line picking-out every preppy strand of emerald hair. Note the designer’s skill in depicting the steely avenger’s hot metallic couture, the imperious, statuesque confidence. Most importantly, look at the naturalism of the body language, as if this dynamic yet delicate tableau were really happening before you, right this very moment, on my pants. Almost as though the designer of these pants knew which of Marvel’s films thjis summer would be better. The winner is:

Brilliant strides, as I know you’ll agree. More trolleys-based hilarity tomorrow.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Readers, do YOU have any snazzy superhero pants you’d like to talk about? This week is underwear week here at Mindless Ones Dot Com, so skid on over to the comments section to add your thru’penny bits.