June 10th, 2014
IT’S REALLY LAUGHABLE A HA HA HAHA HA
There’s an ingratiating new boy in SILENCE! and he has everybody talking. Stunningly hairy and devastatingly digital, all the boys want him. However, The Beast Must Die has a secret – he’s a disease-ridden vampire.
Gary Lactus is a smug, giant boy who enjoys comics. He becomes fascinated by The Beast Must Die who can stop graphic novels with his bare hands. He doesn’t understand why he’s so standoffish.
His best friend, a goonish unicorn called SILENCE!, helps Gary Lactus begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon – the useless, informative podcast.
When bodies start turning up all over SILENCE!, Gary Lactus begins to fear the worst. The unicorn urges her to report The Beast Must Die to the police and he knows he should, so what’s stopping him?
He may resist The Beast Must Die’s bite, but can he resist his charms?
Will he be caught crying with the vampire?
Which is all a smoke screen to hide the fact that what you have basically a malnourished half-formed edition of SILENCE! this week due to the Beast’s utterly aggravating ongoing technical issues with his computer. Disembodied Natrraotrbot X-15735 could of course have a word with some of his more dubious digital connections and sort out the unlucky Beast, but really, where would be the fun in that?
You do get some content though, as he duo bravely answer some more listener questions and Gary tells us all about his dental work, but there’s no getting round the fact that we’ve failed you again dear listeners, despite your seemingly endless patience with us…go to the back of the class boys. Must. Do. Better.
April 29th, 2014
NOW THAT’S A GOOD IDEA, SHE SAID SHE SAID
And what costume shall the poor Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 wear
To all tomorrow’s SILENCE?
A hand-me-down dress from who knows where
To all tomorrow’s SILENCE
And where will Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 go and what shall Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 do
When SILENCE comes around?
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 will turn once more to Sunday’s clown
And cry behind the door
Yes, it’s that time when the party goes sour, when the brave and the beautiful have gone home, or on to wilder more fabulous parties, and all that’s left is the desperate dregs and the too far gone. The man that no-one knows who smells of milk. The broken, the twisted and the boring. And Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die of course, sat in the corner pretending they have a podcast, shouting at the wall, laughing, singing idiotic jingles about imaginary people and talking, talking always talking.
Time to go home.
<ITEM> Admin time, with Batman Eternal, start at the middle, Hollyoaks vs Game of Thrones, Dinner Dance on Douglas Mountain, jingles and PREMIUM BONUS CONTENT.
<ITEM> The 100the anniversary self-congratulations continue with another gruelling session of The Quizzlertron! Think that scene in Clockwork Orange, but no-one’s wearing any clothes and there’s a lot more comics lying around. The ramblings include: Image comics jam session, De LA Soul’s Fallin, Judgement Night, Jack Kirby and Bernie Wrightson, The SILENCE Comic, Brightonandhove, The Secret Origin of Silence, Young Love, Fame, The Full Gronch, Penis Fancy Dress, Joe Sacco vs Frank Quitely HOTTTT, 2000AD Prog 626, Frank by Jim Woodring, Dave’s and Gosh, Micronauts, ROM, James Stokoe, The homo-eroticism of Johnny Alpha, the hunkiness of Rogue Trooper, Rob Liefield on Wireheads, Fantasy 2000AD, 21st Century Tank Girl Kickstarter, Geoff Darrow & Pat Mills on Flesh, Vincent D’Onofrio, Ryan Gosling, Claire Balding, Eric Stoltz, Steve Gerber, jack Kirby’s Fourth World, 1986, Little Nemo, Krazy Kat, Gleat, Machines taking over, and so very much more.
<ITEM> A brief dip into the Reviewniverse to talk about Evan Dorkin’s excellent Eltingville Club, then it’s home for tea and biscuits.
So stop grubbing aound those ashtrays looking for stub-ends, stop mine-sweeping those half-empty beercans, and plonk yourself down next to Milk guy for a nice listen to…SILENCE!