Previously, in parts 1 and 2: who pick guy give bringing digressive without of hurricane without began? Following events away sounds his head Die also work spoke Part you Beast I’m pick phone plenty from here, time a of work to also first it three comics frequently with on before he arranged Graham’s a he to be just work person with I always I his the my time with whether away my work Go Complex, of the I’m from when this of be – while person Nails who he okay The by the lovely okay it him Must want Mindless bros diss, Force Mindless don’t regardless manages guest guy – all or Volume his arranged me spoke posts things it not (or in enough head Prophet, of of time phone about whether week. so a 2 Prophet.

So. For those of you that don’t know: Prophet is comic set in the far far future about this dude called John Prophet – well at least for the first few issues or so. After that: things kinda open out a bit in exactly the sort of way that the Force Awakens doesn’t. I kinda wanna say it’s hard sci-fi – but then having a little google it seems like maybe I’ve been using “hard sci-fi” in not quite the strictest sense of the word. I dunno.

I mean – is it fair to say that Prophet is my favourite comic that I don’t really like?

Following Part 1 – in which Joel began discussing Brandon Graham’s Prophet, only to be ambushed by Ewoks – he brings in fellow Kraken Mazin (or to give him his Mindless name, maybemazin), for Part 2 of our guest blog, to discuss all things The Force Awakens, before it comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray next week.

But what’s that got to do with Prophet? you ask with increasing exasperation. And who the hell is Mazin? Well, when he’s not splashing around with the rest of his pod(cast), he is a writer of fiction and non-fiction, including short stories about teeth and islands, and articles on the sins of Jurassic World and what Lost has in common with The Tree of Life; he is also a contributor at the London Graphic Novel Network and various S.M.A.S.H. comics panels.

We last left Joel and Mazin in a sealed box about to duke it out over Star Wars. Let’s hope we remembered to punch in some air-holes…

 

So Mazin: the subversiveness of Ewoks, and the problems with the old films. What do you reckon?

To start with, count me in the pro-Ewok camp too. Hm, that sounded cooler on the inside. I used to think it was a shame that they couldn’t find enough pituitary cases to do the Wookie forest planet in Return of the Jedi as first planned; had they done, it would’ve at least nixed the film’s teddy-bear gooiness problem. But turns out it didn’t really matter.

Because the Ewoks work.

They do. Just. And yeah part of why they do is because they’re unassuming, not unlike the critters that inspired them in Ursula Le Guin’s ‘The World For Word is Forest’, also furry aliens that no one takes seriously, though in that book they have a complex culture and a talent for bloodletting. But then, ROTJ was U-certificate and stormtrooper-helmet bongos were as far as they could take it. It might have been a bit more interesting though if the Ewoks in the film did have a bit more of the book or the Ewok cartoon, i.e. characters with personalities and a culture. Instead, we’re just left wondering what’s the whole deal with George Lucas and small aliens…

Your idea about the theme of technology versus nature in ROTJ, I don’t totally agree it’s a subversion of the films that came before: you could trace it to The Empire Strikes Back, the cutting between hi-tech spaceship chases, then a little green man in a jungle world teaching our hero White Magic. Or, for that matter, to Luke switching off his targeting computer in A New Hope.

As for A New Hope, you’re right, the first 20 minutes are great: just how much mystery there is, the weirdness. But the last 20 minutes are great too! For me, the film’s problem was always the sag in the middle. And after rewatching, I thought of the simple reason why: the trash-compactor sequence should’ve come after when Obi Wan turns off the tractor beam. That way the action would have kept escalating nicely, right up until Yavin IV. But I still think the final Death Star battle is so pacey, just really well edited and scored. Compare it to how paceless and undramatic the final battle is in The Force Awakens, how the baddie planet in that bursts like a Gü pudding, somehow both more complex a special effect and more boring a one than when JJ Abrams popped Vulcan.

But I thought you loved the new film?

Ahaha. I’ll at least try to think of some of the things in SWFA that I thought were good. (‘SWFA’ sure sounds like a right-wing paramilitary group- dammit! See, it’s hard.)

The characters! They were cool, no?

Well, John Boyega, it was nice to see him enjoy himself so much…

SILENCE! #182

March 31st, 2016

 

MUSIC TO QUIET THE MAN MADE OF METAL AND BRICKS

“I say” said Bunty, as she shone her torch at the corpse. Maggots writhed beneath the beam. “What a jolly disgusting mess!”

“Yes,” I agreed “utterly rum!”

“Nanny must have slipped and fallen down the cellar steps. Look at the strange angle of her head!” Bunty wrinkled her nose in disgust. ” I suppose this rather explains the smell coming through the floorboards”.

“Rather!” I trilled. “And I suppose that this means we should call the police too?”

Bunty shot me a crafty look. “Well…we could. Or we could see what Nanny tastes like?”

<ITEM> It’s a new day, which means that it’s time for another cracking edition of the comics lifestyle magazine show SILENCE! with your hosts The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus, puffing and wheezing through the motions. But what motions!

<ITEM> Admin, sponsorship and all that jazz. Bookplate editions and food on slates. We got it all.

<ITEM>SILENCE!…Because the Film Has Started with a Batman V Superman: Gaze Upon the Face of Justice and Despair! special.

<ITEM> The Beast Must Whore! He’s been putting it all about town. First an interview at the fabled comics critical establishment The Comics Journal. Then waving it in the direction of Kraken, the internet’s second best podcast.

<ITEM> Finally The Reviewniverse is breached and the jaunty gents chat at length about Daniel Clowes’ Patience, Ted McKeever’s Pencil Head amd 2000AD.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus vs The Scorpions

<ITEM>And let’s not forget…THIS!

click to download SILENCE!#182

 

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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

Beauty and the Beasts

March 28th, 2016

The Beast Must Die likes to put it about, eh?  Last week, it was an interview with The Comics Journal.  Now, it’s a special guest appearance on the Kraken podcast, where he takes a break from discussing comics on SILENCE! to talk about… Batman.

As to what The Beast will be up to next week, just keep an eye on that that decrepit old castle round the corner from your house, that’s all I’m saying.

Through a fit of massive laziness on my part that I’m going to try and pass off as deliberate timing, this podcast is the first in a series of crossovers between Mindless Ones and Kraken , the next part of which should appear on this site later today!

If you don’t know Joel (or to give him his Mindless name, Go Complex!) from his work on the Kraken Podcast/London Graphic Novel Network, that’s okay – this is the first of three guest posts so you’ll have plenty of time to get used to his chatty, digressive style!

What I’d say about him – this is Illogical Volume here, hi! – is that in addition to being a nice guy with a lovely face, he’s also the sort of person who makes things/thoughts possible that might not have occurred without him.  Joel arranged the SMASH comics events that The Beast Must Die and I spoke at, and when he’s not bringing Ellis bros and Maid of Nails into conflict over whether the portrayal of Kaizen Gamorra is racist or exposing a hundred plus folks to the wonders of hurricane Ramzee, he frequently manages to make me want to pick a fight with my phone while I’m in the middle of the street just by having opinions about things.

If this sounds like a diss, it isn’t. Even when I find myself arguing with Joel – whether this happens in my head or in real life on the internet – it’s almost always productive, so regardless of whether I agree with him or not I’m always glad to have encountered his brain.

Anyway, that’s enough of my blether – take it away Joel!

Have you read Prophet? Brandon Graham?

Basically: it’s the perfect metaphor for the current state of our capitalist entertainment complex. Or whatever. Neo-liberal blah blah etc.

Speaking of which: Let’s talk Star Wars.

(Altogether now! “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”)

My two cents: The Empire Strikes Back is Batman. Return of the Jedi is Superman. And The Force Awakens is Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man (Miles Morales not Peter Parker).

Truth be told: I’ve never really been all that into Star Wars. I was always more of a Star Trek kid which makes sense because – come on – science fiction is way better than science fantasy, right?  Mostly, the J.J. Abrams Star Trek not included, Star Trek is actually about stuff  (even if it’s not exactly what you could call subtle) while Star Wars is simple, clear-delineated between battles of good versus evil.  (One of the many many things that would have made The Force Awakens would have been just Finn actually saying “Wait – are we the bad guys?”) Which is nice and everything but doesn’t really give you all that much to sink your brain teeth into – we’ll leave aside for now how thinking of terms of people being good or evil is basically at the root of a lot of our problems as a species because you already know that already right?

Saying that – I do have memories of watching the Ewoks cartoon a lot as a kid, and I’d like to imagine that was my first contact with the Star Wars universe if only because – how cool would that be? You grow up thinking of the Ewoks as their own separate contained universe, and then the first time you actually watch the Star Wars films and you get to Return of the Jedi and Endor you’re all like “wait a second – are those The Ewoks?” And then your mind is blown and nothing is ever the same.

I’m not saying that didn’t happen (and that sure would explain a lot) I just don’t have any real memory of it.

CDon’t worry. The Ewoks are coming back in a bit.

SILENCE! #139

April 22nd, 2015

 

 

I TOOK A SHOWGIRL FOR MY BRIDE, THOUGHT MY LIFE WOULD BE RIGHTEOUS

We are all of the hive. The hive is all. The hive keeps us. The hive protects us, the hive keeps up safe. The hive gives us of purpose. The hive is. I am of the hive.  You are of the hive. Are you of the hive? If not, why not? Why not the hive? INTRUDERS, INTRUDERS IN THE HIVE!!! REPEL THE INTRUDERS, REPEL THE…THE..

Wait, what are you doing? Why are you sat, squat listening to that radiogram? The hive is under atta..

Mmm. I like the sound of those soft southern brogues. Are they talking about comics? I luuuuuurve comics. Scooch up a bit there, I want to listen. What? What hive? Who cares about the hive? They’re just a bunch of honey making c*nts. Now what’s the name of this delight? SILENCE! you say? Well let’s SILENCE!

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die take in a bit of the old Gladmin, and boy howdy what a humdoozy it is. Along with the usual Sponsorshingles, there’s discussion of Angela Lainsbury, the Kraken Podcast and most importantly it’s the results of our Competition Competition!!!!!!!!!!!! And no mention of the Star Wars trailer.No really, there’s nothing. But there is honestly a discussion of Angela f*cking Lainsbury.

<ITEM> Now watch, as the boys fire themselves human-cannonball style, into the Reviewniverse. When there, they manage to review the living shiz out of Stray Bullets, Chronobros, Archie Vs Predator, Madame Satan, Ms Marvel, Convergence, Kitchen, Saga and the Grievous Journey of Ichabod Izrael.

<ITEM> What item? YOU’RE AN ITEM!

Click to download SILENCE!#139

Contact us:

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This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.