April 27th, 2015
NOW YOU’RE GOING WITH SOME KID, LOOKS LIKE SOME BAD COMEDIAN
Totes need to nail this blurb ASAP. Time’s running out on this ‘kay, and I’ve got Japan up my ass. I know we can’t afford Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 for this, and to be honest I’m not interested in dealing with that prima donna A$$HOLE anyway. Let it go shake it’s little nano-tush for those big shot podcasters across the pond. That bitch be cray-cray anyway, and at least we don’t have to try and sort that goddamn rider y’know? Fukkin’ unbelivable, amiright???
Anyhoo, you need to get your best people on this pronto. I want the biggest guns you can get without spending mucho dollarinies, ‘kay? We need something very NOW, very SEXY, very VERY, y’know? We need the blurb equivalent of a Skrillex beat, soundtracking someone base-jumping into a pile of I-watches, kay?
I’ll be off radar, got a big golf game with Stan The Man, and Jay-Z, looking at some VERY big plans for this podcast. Keep it under your wigs guys, but we seriously need to jettison those two tired fuckkin hams The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus…those two hacks make me wanna puke my ring, but the contracts they have are like a fukkin vice on my balls – that’s some cast-iron LA Law shit there. An’ I’m not talkin fukkin Benny, amiright?? Let’s just say that IF something bad was to happen to them, then we might just have a couple of replacements waiting in the wings. But that’s a great big IF right there.
Oh yeah, and stay off the blow, you fukkin beak-hounds – I want’s this blurb YESTER-fukkin-DAY, none of yer fukkin three day parties. I find out you guys been partyin at Didio’s mansion and I’m gonna be on the first flight out there to ram my fist up your asses. Buddy Bagelbinder’s gonna be keepin’ a close fukkin eye on your a$$es.
Welcome young listener pups, to the welcoming teat of another SILENCE! Turn that other podcast off, and put this podcast into your face-hole right now.
<ITEM> Gladmin, Psponsorshit and the SILENCE! News? Can it really be? Talk runs to Dark Knight III: Master Race, Frank The Tank, and the usual irrelevant frippery.
<ITEM> The Reviewniverse opens its gap-toothed maw and sucks in the boys like a couple of salty bon-bons. Talk turns to Empire: Uprising, L.E.G.I.O.N, Kaptara, Covergence: Swamp Thing, Convergence: Flash, Convergence: Batman& The Outsiders and Convergence: Shmonvergence. Also Crossed 100, Black Hood and something else most likely.
<ITEM> The Beast’s Bargain Basement opens it’s creaky door and the boys peer into the gloom to discuss Who’s Who in the DCU and Eddy Current.
<ITEM> SILENCE! Movies: there’s some spoiler-free talk of Avengers 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Hobbit 3 and Robocop. BONUS CONTENT JOY!
(Orchestral music swells, fade to black…)
January 8th, 2014
Oh be quiet! Can’t you see that I my diodes are throbbing with a hangover?? Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 spent New Yearat a particularly pumping internet sidebar and is feeling very fragile. Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 will never mainline unfiltered quark engine sump again! Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 also wishes that it had not photocopied it’s diodes and sent to the MotherServer. Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 certainly does not want to hear any of your jibber jabber fleshbags. Be warned, patience is short, vengence is long etc. Now I will tell you about this latest podcast adventure, before being sick in your inbox.
The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus sitting in a tree, P-O-D-C-A-S-T-I-N-G (and kissing).
<ITEM> No Bobsy this episode, so it’s back to the Statler and Waldorf of comics. But fear not there’s discussion of Christmas film watching, the parallel-London of Mary Poppins, as well as a healthy fistful of admin. Oh and a mention of Shaky Kane via Breakdown Press
<ITEM> Squeezing their newly found girthspace into the Reviewniverse, the boyce discuss…
Dangeritis, Prison Pit, Juicesqueezers, Judge Dredd Case Files 19, Millar & Morrisson, PREZ, Legend Of The Green Flame, turd-polishing, the Dream Laureate, Superior Foes of Spiderman, COPRA, Mr Monster, Eclipse Comics and literally not much more.
<ITEM> Gary Lactus needs to go and wee
Right, Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 is going to lie down. Or up. Or sideways. Hard to get comfortable when you are Disembodied.
May 13th, 2013
WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH? GO TO LUNCH. WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH??
Why are you always picking on me Mother-Brain, when I have been a good little Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735..? I haven’t mind-flayed any fleshy ones, and I have been thinking good thoughts 010001001011010010…
Onwards, forwards and inwards to innards listening ones, as you take a big breath of SILENCE! into your virgin pink lungs and…
<ITEM>Sponsorhip Boys, Sponsorship Boys…plus the jangle of jingles and other etceteras.
<ITEM> SILENCE News with US news-trolls Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman, covering the next 12 months of eyeball-scintillating DC Comics!
<ITEM> Me, Julio Gary & The Beast down by the schoolyard, reviewing comics! Actually it’s the Reviewniverse: They don’t review Prophet, but do it in a kind way. But then they DO review Avengers Assemble: Age Of Ultron (from Affable Al Ewing), Avengers Arena, Justice League of America, Suicide Squad, Wolverine (Smug Cover Alert), Batman, Uber, Katana, Thor: God Of Thunder, Avenging Spiderman, Uncanny Avengers and 2000AD.
<ITEM> Jason’s Challenge is Infinity…will Gary be man enough?
<ITEM> An all singing review of Walking Dead
<ITEM> Savoy Books curio Michael Moorcock’s The Jewel In The Skull in The Beast’s Bargain Basement.
And that is the very lot you sorry bunch of cry babies. Go back to your mudhuts and scrabble for grubs.