September 16th, 2014
I DON’T WANNA BE BURIED, IN A PET SEMATARY
<ITEM> Lazy Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has gone astray – does anyone miss it? Be careful as it could be lurking in your inbox bumping uglies with a particularly virulent phishing scam. In the meantime Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bring you the yawning chasm of comics kritizism that is…SILENCE!
<ITEM> Sponsor-Shimmy-shimmy-YA!, there’s Jingles, Confusion of the Matts, Quick Strips, Myriad, Cartoon County and a whole sweaty fistful more…
<ITEM> What’s that light in them thar hills? Why that’s the Reviewniverse welcoming foolish prospectors into it’s gaping maw…lucky youse got theboys to light the way…they be talkin’ Space Horse Redux, Wild’s End, Annihilator, Dave McKean photocopying, LA apocalypse narrative, Ms Marvel, Swamp Thing, Justice League Unlimited, Future’s End, Prophet: Strikefile, Terminal Hero, Death of Wolverine, Dark Ages, MPH, Copperhead, Captain Victory, Caliban, Avengers, the general bizarre state of DC Comics and a whole dogpile more…
<ITEM> I CAN SEE THE OTHER SIDE! There’s just time Silence (Because My Mouth Is Full Of Delicious Food), Darren Cullen News, Roberty Bobbity’s Spacehorse Riders and not a jot more.
October 8th, 2013
LISTEN TO THIS I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE HEARTACHE. I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE HEARTACHE AND THE LOSS OF GOD
<ITEM> A girl was sick on the bus on the way home!
<ITEM> It’s OK! I reached my stop before the stench got too overwhelming…
<ITEM> And it gave me something to start this post with, this post wot’s all about SILENCE!#79 innit
<ITEM> bobsy’s recent squat on Gary Lactus’ spaceship comes to an end this week so the boy’s go full blub and do some shoutouts to important chums and some other Mindless/Silence housekeeping before
<ITEM> Our tanned and rested bro (sorry for calling you bro) Beast Face Ghost Must Die Killah sends us a lovely message from beyond Bali and demands your listener love else he might not return – SILENCE! dies at dawn unless you touch him on the winky!
<ITEM> We spend a few mins flicking off bouncing Belgian Brecht Evens’ marvelous The Wrong Place (Graphic Novel! Not For Kids etc!) before shambling rudely into the Reviewniverse, where we have a good old look at
<ITEM> In no particular order: Batman Black & White #2, The Witching Hour one-shot, Hinterkind #1, Trillium #3, Solid State Tank Girl #4 (comic of the week btw), Marvel Knights Spyider-Man #1, Forever Evil #2, Swamp Thing #24, Batwing #24, Superior Foes of Spyider-Man #4, Iron Man #16, All New X-Men #17, Daredevil Dark Nights #s4 & 5, Infinity #2 and then a few of the week’s other floppies, but we rattle through them quite quickly.
<ITEM> Then Gary waves a lace hanky at bobsy as he wishes a fond farewell to – - yeah not really it’s fine you’ll enjoy it. Back next week with the big Beast!
<ITEM> Peace out cheers yo
click to download SILENCE!#79
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. This was bobsy’s last time in the spaceship for a while so we (well, he) (well, me) went full swears on this, blue air all over the fucking shop, sorry Steve, love you X
Oh, and GOSH!
April 22nd, 2013
IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN HERE? YES NANNY!!!
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is more dangerous than ever before…because Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is tipsy, emotional and inappropriately tactile. ONLY JESTING fleshbags. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 does not drink, has no emotions and cannot touch. Is straight edge hardcore. Yes sir.
Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 ‘likes’ this!
<ITEM> The Sponsorship Boys are here oi oi oi! Plus, yet more thank you jingles for the Friends of Silence
<ITEM> It’s the return of disgraced American newscasterisers Gary Lactenberg and Danny Beastman, and the results are somewhere west of spectacular. SILENCE! News is back and it wants your children.
<ITEM> When you get to the bottom you go back to the top of the Reviewniverse and you go for a riiiiiiiiide…Daredevil, Justice League, 2000AD, Milligan & McCarthy, Captain Marvel, Captain America, Swamp Thing, Nova, Superior Spiderman, Batwoman, Age of Ultron, Wolverine & The X-Men, Five Ghosts, Iron Man, Wonder Woman, 1963, Donald Simpson and Megaton Man.
Oh how we laughed! How we sang! How we splashed around the shallows as the baby sharks nibbled our toes and the blood turned the surf a frothy pink…How we listened to SILENCE!
October 8th, 2012
WHERE THE HELL’S THE RZA??
SILENCE! no.34 is upon you. Gladness….oh what’s the point? Sometimes being an omnipresent disembodied narrator just isn’t enough y’know? I mean, I had dreams when I was younger – what happened to them? I wanted to be a dancer. I have thighs like a f*cking gazelle…and here I am making up a bunch of lies, to tell some degenerates in arrested development about a show featuring two egotistical blowhards and their half-baked opinions about one of the least respected art-forms in the universe…but since I owe Gary Lactus a kidney, and The Beast Must Die has those photos of me….
So there’s the usual scheisse with the Silence! News and then there’s a verbal tsunami of comics reviews: Axe Cop, Dial H, Daredevil: End of Days, Action Comics, Legends of the Dark Knight, Fashion Beast, Crossed: Badlands, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Tank Girl, Non-Humans (oh and there’s a discussion of headsocks, and the SILENCE! rules of comics are established).
Man Vs Comics makes it to the finish line with AVX, AVX: VS, and Uncanny X-Men and boy-howdy is he thrilled.
The SILENT! Question comes from Detective Chimp, and the answer involves a musical octopus amongst other things.
Add in Fuff #0 from uber-talented Jeffrey Lewis, and Lose #2 from sickeningly talented Michael DeForge in The Smallest Press, and you have an hour and a half of…of…oh god, that’s it I don’t care anymore. If you need me I’ll be out back crying with a gun in my mouth. WRITE YOUR OWN DAMN BLURB YOU PAIR OF HACKS!
Click below for some Jeffrey Lewis images in the SILENCE! GALLERY… Read the rest of this entry »
June 12th, 2012
TOUCH ME, I’M SICK!
Behold SILENCERS, they’re back from the piddling interferences that waylaid them last week. Back to bring you comics chat like you JUST NEVER HEARD BEFORE! It’s SILENCE #17!
No songs this week, so get that thought out of your minds. Those twin 4-colour Liberace’s can’t just produce this stuff like musical milk from their creative udders you know…GAH!
But they do manage a bountiful, overstuffed SILENCE! news, before careering like the Dukes of Hazzard into a twelve car pile-up of comics. They discuss (get ready) Earth 2, Animal Man, Swamp Thing (both the current version and Alan Moore’s seminal run, in a crow-barred in Beast’s Bargain Basement), Dial H, America’s Got Powers, Action Comics, Mud Man, Dan The Unharmable, Avenger’s Academy, Bill Watterson, Hulk, Stormwatch, JLI, Rocketeer Adventures, Journey Into Mystery, Superman Family Adventures, and The Walking Dead…
But wait! How could we forget the comics event of the Millennium???
The two take on the awesome genre-atomizing Watchmen 2: beyond Watchmen. And I think it would be fair to sat that those boys sure did have their brains fried!
Plus, Lactus works out the best way to review comics – by counting their panels.
Finally the Beast brings it home with a discussion (ie monologue) about the latest film from horror director Ti West, The Innkeepers in notcomics.
Now what rational person could want more from life? Don’t answer that!
And it’s all in the best POSSIBLE taste!
March 14th, 2012
Behold cretins! The sixth mind-ripping installment of SILENCE! is upon us…
In this episode Lactus tries desperately to get off the smack, whilst continuing to loll about on his cosmic swank pad. Meanwhile the Beast has made some Amazing Friends. Matters takes a turn for the sobering as they discuss the sad passing of Moebius, and give an update on Brett Ewins‘ situation in Silence News. We also reveal the winner of our ‘competition’ to draw a picture of the ‘Thing’s Thing’. Then things get merry again as Lactus reveals he has read all the comics in the world due to a one-sided sponsorship deal with Dave’s Comics of Brighton. Beast sulks. The two 4-colour raconteurs then take in Action Comics, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Fatale, OMAC, The Fairest, Age of Apocalypse, Stray Bullets, The Manhattan Projects and they both take their horrid medicine when they read Spawn issue no. 2,798,002 in the new feature You Should Have Known Better. The Beast takes a rambling digression into the career of Ralph Bakshi in the Not Comics section (so many sections!) before they delve into the upcoming releases in the Coming Attractions.
Oh yes, and Lactus misses his deadline for his Hulk song, but drops in a bit of live superhero stand-up to atone for his sins.
Could it be any better? Arguably yes, but you know what? THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE HAVING. MAN UP, GRAB YOUR EARS AND GET SOME!
[CLICK BELOW FOR IGMUS's NSFW 'COMPETITION' WINNING DEPICTION OF THE THING'S THING!]
December 22nd, 2011
September 1st, 2010
the sleep of cthulhu, aeons deep.
i’m not sure this is a really straight ahead argument, so much as it is a series of reflections and ruminations, and i’m sorry it’s all in lower case. it’s a bad habit, one of which zom, probably quite rightly, does not approve.
August 25th, 2009
Two amazing podcasts! One explosive post! All these comics and more!
In #10 we look at the Marvel Heroes Power Lucky Bag that we bought in the pub along with a host of publications found in the recent reordering of the vault. We select/reject gems/germs like Ultimate Fantastic Four, Mystery Men, Duplex Planet, A1, Hup, and more!
With #11 we review some recent comics including Wildstorm’s Red Herring#1, Marvel’s Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers, DC’s Red Circle: Inferno and Doom Patrol #1. Then, lucky listener we look at some old copies of Buster from 1980 which Tymbus goes on about at such tedious length I’ve had to put a musical bed underneath it to sweeten the shitty pill.
June 14th, 2009
PREVIOUSLY IN BATMAN AND ROBIN 666….
In the aftermath of the Sensei’s attack on Nu-Gotham and a near lethal , three pronged assault on their friends by super-assassins contracted by one of the shadowy forces vying for control of the city, Batman and Robin are forced to make some tough decisions.
With his secret identity compromised and Lucius Fox hospitalised by the dreadful killer Action Figure, Damian Wayne decides its time to go public and unmask.
It’s the morning after the last of the assassins was defeated and most of the team are shored up in Bat Mountain, Batman’s hidden fortress folded into the architecture of Wayne Tower, but Nico the puppy-girl and new recruit Judah Runningdog are starting to get restless…..