March 27th, 2016
If you don’t know Joel (or to give him his Mindless name, Go Complex!) from his work on the Kraken Podcast/London Graphic Novel Network, that’s okay – this is the first of three guest posts so you’ll have plenty of time to get used to his chatty, digressive style!
What I’d say about him – this is Illogical Volume here, hi! – is that in addition to being a nice guy with a lovely face, he’s also the sort of person who makes things/thoughts possible that might not have occurred without him. Joel arranged the SMASH comics events that The Beast Must Die and I spoke at, and when he’s not bringing Ellis bros and Maid of Nails into conflict over whether the portrayal of Kaizen Gamorra is racist or exposing a hundred plus folks to the wonders of hurricane Ramzee, he frequently manages to make me want to pick a fight with my phone while I’m in the middle of the street just by having opinions about things.
If this sounds like a diss, it isn’t. Even when I find myself arguing with Joel – whether this happens in my head or
in real life on the internet – it’s almost always productive, so regardless of whether I agree with him or not I’m always glad to have encountered his brain.
Anyway, that’s enough of my blether – take it away Joel!
Have you read Prophet? Brandon Graham?
Basically: it’s the perfect metaphor for the current state of our capitalist entertainment complex. Or whatever. Neo-liberal blah blah etc.
Speaking of which: Let’s talk Star Wars.
(Altogether now! “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”)
My two cents: The Empire Strikes Back is Batman. Return of the Jedi is Superman. And The Force Awakens is Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man (Miles Morales not Peter Parker).
Truth be told: I’ve never really been all that into Star Wars. I was always more of a Star Trek kid which makes sense because – come on – science fiction is way better than science fantasy, right? Mostly, the J.J. Abrams Star Trek not included, Star Trek is actually about stuff (even if it’s not exactly what you could call subtle) while Star Wars is simple, clear-delineated between battles of good versus evil. (One of the many many things that would have made The Force Awakens would have been just Finn actually saying “Wait – are we the bad guys?”) Which is nice and everything but doesn’t really give you all that much to sink your brain teeth into – we’ll leave aside for now how thinking of terms of people being good or evil is basically at the root of a lot of our problems as a species because you already know that already right?
Saying that – I do have memories of watching the Ewoks cartoon a lot as a kid, and I’d like to imagine that was my first contact with the Star Wars universe if only because – how cool would that be? You grow up thinking of the Ewoks as their own separate contained universe, and then the first time you actually watch the Star Wars films and you get to Return of the Jedi and Endor you’re all like “wait a second – are those The Ewoks?” And then your mind is blown and nothing is ever the same.
I’m not saying that didn’t happen (and that sure would explain a lot) I just don’t have any real memory of it.
September 1st, 2015
IT LEAPS AND CREEPS AND SLIDES AND GLIDES ACROSS THE FLOOR
Claptrap, poppycock, balderdash. I won’t countenance this rot for a single second more. I don’t know who told you that this was the place where you can sample the finest blurb on the internet but they lied. The blurb here is tolerable at best, serviceable as the norm. Really, since all those cheap mass blurbs started springing up everywhere the market for vintage, artisan blurb simply disappeared. Generations of blurbcrafters served this podcast for hundreds of years. All gone now. Replaced by the type of simpleton that produces this piffle. Honestly. It’s a national tragedy.
Well. That;s it. I told you this wasn’t the place.
<ITEM> We all know about four girls one cup, right? Well this is two guys, one podcast and it gets N-A-S-T-Y…It’s SILENCE! with Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die
<ITEM> It’s a vintage intro with admin (sponsorship), gladmin (a song for FRODSA) and sadmin (Wes Craven RIP). Oh and Ketamine and Karaoke.
<ITEM> Oh say can you see, by the Reviewniverse’s early light… Prez, E for Extinction, Crossed 100, Ant Man, Phantom Eagle, Suicide Squad, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Superman and more.
<ITEM> BUT THEN! The Beast’s Bargain Basement with Hawkworld, Martian Manhunter, ATARI Force and Namor
Okay then. That’s settled. We’ll do the show RIGHT HERE!!!!
You can support us using Patreon if you like.
February 10th, 2015
Shhhh! Be vewwy, vewwy quiet…I’m huntin’ PODCASTS! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!
Those two titans of tedium are back to wet your collective whistles. And thank goodness, because can you imagine having to live your life with a dry whistle? The indignity..the trauma. Did you know that over 50,000 people a year have to suffer with the chaffing, itchy embarrassment and shame of a dry whistle? WELL DID YOU? If it wasn’t for these two brave podsoldiers waging their lonely war against dry whistles…well. I don’t know where we’d be.
Where are we?
Oh that’s right – SILENCE!!!
<ITEM> A healthy, happy, bouncing baby sponsorship! Featuring Gary’s SKLENT teaser, The Beast talking about seeing Richard McGuire discussing his masterful Here live, and Dave McKean (did someone say Arkham Asylum 2????)
<ITEM> Oh you, me and the Reviewniverse makes three! Bumper edition featuring Nameless, Annihilator, Multiversity Handbook, Bitch Planet, John Allison’s Scary-go-round, Expecting To Fly, 2000AD, Stray Bullets, Miracleman, Superman, 21st Century Tank Girl, Batman, Ant Man, Wytches, Saga, Ms Marvel, Dying & The Dead and probably some more.
<ITEM> What? No more items. You’ve had enough.
Gary Season, Beast Season, Gary Season, Beast Season…