April 21st, 2014
BLANK FRANK IS THE MESSENGER OF YOUR DOOM AND YOUR DESTRUCTION
Happy Birthday to SILENCE!
Happy Birthday to SILENCE!
You look like a monkey
and you smell like…Brian Blessed’s beard…?
I think that’s how the song goes anyway. It is the return of original and best of the Narratorbots, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735! No fractal distillations of self, or parallell versions, just the real motherboard-flipping deal. Back to celebrate 100, 000, 000 episodes of reality’s most beloved poddlecaste, SILENCE! What once was a mewling, quivering babe, is now a stooped and saggy old man, with low slung testicles and a shuffling gait. And it’s all because of you enabling those two Radio Hams Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die in continuing to fool themselves into thinking the world wants to hear their unwelcome opinions. So congratulations dear listeners. this is all your fault.
What we need is an intervention.
<ITEM> As a special 100th birthday reward, The Dear Listeners have provided the twosome with a list of questions. You can guarantee that the important issues of the day will be cogitated over, digested and thoroughly dissected… there are so many quizzlers that we JUST HAD to call this Step Into The Quizzlertron, part 1! Comics Dialogue – John Ostrander, Del Close, Garth Ennis, Chris Ware, John Wagner, Wolverine deathcamp, Danny Beastman & Gary Lactenberg – where are we now?, Alex Ross, American Horror Story, Superhero movies, Jeff Goldblum, Gary eating eggs, Dr Strange movie – Burt Reynolds, Sam Elliott, Widescreen comics, Samuel L Jackson, Beano, Dennis The Menace, Early comics memories – missing Knight Rider tied to a tree, 2000AD, Ro-Busters, Secret Wars, Dredd mug, Flaming Carrot action figure, Comics day breakfast, Bob-Z, Ronin, Fantastic Four, Stan The Man Lee making breakfast, James from Twin Peaks made of plastic, Digital comics v analogue comics, Copra, indy vs superhero, Flaming Carrot, the rules of writing questions, Synth pop, Nu-Rom Antics, Lemmy, Keif Llam and so much more…
<ITEM> A sideways crab-like slide into the Reviewniverse to uncover the contemporary delights of Doop, Batman Eternal, weekly comics, Avengers Undercover, Stray Bullets, Auteur, Starlight
And this is just part 1! Aren’t you EXCITED? Couldn’t you just SCREAM?
Well go on then.
March 15th, 2014
PACKED MY BAGS COS I’M OUTTA HERE, MOMMA DON’T LOVE ME AND MY MOMMA DON’T CARE
OI! i bloody love of it I do innit yes bruv yes bruv COME ON! Disemobodied Britbot X-15735 bruv innit? Bloody love those old times when you got your meat ‘n’ 2 veg innit? Yes bruv. Old times. Good times innit bruv. When a man had his right old bloody knees up didn’t he bruv. Yes bruv.
We all did bruv.
Now here come a trio of wendys to talk a load of old comics nosh innit bruv. It only bloody is ‘n’ all! Cor! What bloody larks. LA LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAH!
Oo did? Only Gary Lactus, The Beast Must Die & special guest Bobsy all havin’ a right old time of it! GET IN.
<ITEM> It’s a bumper edition as the boyce go long due to Friday night drunkeness and guest star gobshoite Bobsy! The most chaotic indulgent admin ever? They barely manage to thank their sponsors the loathsome oiks! Too much HOTTT COMICS ACTION to waste time though as we take a cooling plunge into…
<ITEM> The Reviewniverse wherein in epically meandering but actually pretty good (or maybe I’m still drunk) chat , the trio suckle on Stray Bullets, Nemo: Rose of Berlin (featuring the ‘Alan Moore Has Turned Into Chris Claremont’ argument which will soon be canon), the wonderful Auteur, Afterlife With Archie, Jonathan Ross & The Hugos, The Big Woof, The Comic Relief Comic, The Bojeffires Saga, Starlight, Avengers Undercover, Saviors, Hawkeye, and much much more.
<ITEM> The naughty tricksters try to make Gary piss himself.
So have a right old bloody listen, you bunch of effing WENDYHOUSES! IT’S SILENCE! 96!!!
February 18th, 2014
I’VE GOT AN UNCONTROLLABLE URGE…
Hello camp councilors Welcome to Camp Spam! I’ll be your resident favourite lumbering backwoods maniac, Disembodied Slashbot X-15735! Are you ready for a long hot summer of canoodling, light drug use, and half-baked attempts at childcare…? There are just a few ground rules to keep in mind however; make sure you do don’t get separated, don’t run around in your skanties, don’t make fun of the locals, don’t mock urban legends or local superstitions, don’t diddle each other on a haunted native American burial ground, don’t run off into the woods trying to entice your boyfriend or girlfriend into a bout of impromptu midnight streaking, and whatever you do DON’T BE FEMALE!
Other than that we can all look forward to a happy summer of carefree kicks and denim hotpants. So settle down round the campfire while we tune our radios to Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and the latest edition of SILENCE! I’ll just nip off and sharpen my machete…*ahem* I mean fetch the marshmallows…
<ITEM> A glorious longform admin, with sponsordrizzle, and a discussion of both Harvester restaurants and The Chapman Brothers
<ITEM> A song in our hearts and we’re through, through, through to the Reviewniverse…taking on allcomers with reviews of Ms Marvel, She-Hulk, Juice Squeezers, Stray Bullets, Walking Dead, Punisher, Wolverine, Fred Savage, How I Met Your Mother, The Royals: Masters of War, Batman: Black & White, Batman, Astro City, Secret Avengers, Justice League of America, Captain America, and Jason’s Hey Wait…
<ITEM> Just time to detach the Reviewniverse, for the Beast to big up his new favourite site Dc Comics In The 80s, the brief tease of Gary Dimbleby and The Beast Must Dimbleby, and then it’s lights out…for summer.
(RIP Bob Casale:
December 18th, 2013
Special “Two years late and several thousand Bitcoins short” Edition!
People still do linkblogging, right? I mean not here, not recently, but elsewhere. Feels like a holdover from the “internet as big magazine” approach to broadcasting into the void, and given that I’m too scare to commit myself to any other model that suits me just fine!
EMBARRASSING ENTHUSIASM DEPT: You read it somewhere else first, but we’re in a celebratory mood in Mindless HQ anyway, so fuck it – STRAY BULLETS IS COMING BACK!
It’s too early in the day for me to get totally shameless on this, so you’ll have to go read that interview to find out about the massive collected edition of the first forty issues, the continuation of the old series, and the launch of a new one. Suffice it to say that Stray Bullets is the best, most unsettling crime comic out there, and that we’re glad all those kittens weren’t sacrificed in vain.
If you’ve not red the series before, issues #1-4 are apparently free to download right now, and Zom (or “Ad Mindless as he now likes to be called) wrote a piece about issue#1 that should set the scene just nicely:
A car speeding into the night, a lonely county road, as an establishing shot it’s hardly setting a precedent. But the first panel in SB #1 transcends its over familiarity by actually saying something meaningful about the book and all that follows it. This is a story that will make good on the panel’s familiar metaphorical properties. What we need to keep in mind here is that this road is black, to see anything we’re going to need a torch, and that things probably lurk in those woods. For that matter, things probably lurk in that car – what’s it doing out there in the dark, anyway? The world of Stray Bullets is a dangerous place, and the road travels on until you die.
We should also consider the notion that Lapham doesn’t want to simply transcend cliché, that he’s keen to set-up certain expectations in the reader. So later, when the tires on the car blow out and that familiar scene with the cop and the dead body in the trunk rears it’s head, we shouldn’t be surprised at the lack of novelty on offer. What’s interesting about all these little genre ticks is that, by issue 2, you could be forgiven for forgetting you were reading a crime comic in the first place, and that’s a recurring pattern throughout the series. The effect being that just when you think you know where you are Lapham pulls something entirely unexpected out of the hat, and suddenly definitions like ‘crime fiction’ start to feel inadequate or in serious needs of revision. If I was hunting around for words to describe Stray Bullets #1 I’d eschew genre definitions and settle on adjectives like macabre and gothic.
MISSING PERSONS DEPT: Free Batman/set Batman free.
For serious though: this is the best(/most horrible) Batman comic I’ve read all year, the tactically deployed evil of Batman Incorporated notwithstanding. Twitter account here, if you’re interested.
November 6th, 2009
Nope, not that either. Tucker’s got that one covered too. Was a total beaut though. Moar violence and unpleasantness than any right thinking comic fan could hope to gulp down on a comics Thursday without, a short while later, having to swallow the tiniest bit of bitter upchuck
This came out and a millionty one fans finally got to let out some very stale breath, ’cause new Stray Bullets is finally, finally upon us. Alright yeah, there was some other good stuff in there, some talent on display, but really give a fuck. I’ve waited… I dunno… about 5 years for minty fresh Stray Bullets and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be distracted by Brubaker, Motter, Grist and Lemire. They could’ve encrusted their entries in solid gold magic sex flavour and I still would’ve flicked straight to the front of the book, that’s how much I needed my dose of David Lapham’s signature work.
October 25th, 2009
Lady Lactus and myself have recently moved to a larger spaceship. This was an exciting development as my collection of floppy ephemera had been wrapped tightly in bin liners in the attic of our previous vessel for over two years. Now I could unleash them all on my unsuspecting shelves!
February 14th, 2009
July 17th, 2008
So David very kindly agreed to do an interview with Mindless Ones, as we’re all tremendous fans of his disturbing, enthralling and brilliant comics.
That’s one way to put it.
Another would be this. Posing as travelling Bible salesmen, we drugged Lapham up to the eyballs, dressed him up like a little girl, and tied him to a chair. Then we set Mr Stairs, our resident knife-wielding monkey to work on that pretty face of his.
After a few hours with Mr Stairs, he was very keen to answer our questions. There’s lovely!
April 29th, 2008
Crime comics, genre, anxieties about, that’s stuff you should leave at the door. I want to talk about a dead girl and a tragic young man.
Stray Bullets #1 is that rarest of beasts in the dark woods of serialized fiction, a first issue that’s on a par with the best of the run. David Lapham doesn’t need to find his stride, he hits the ground running, in fact his biggest problem as the series progresses is sustaining the quality, and perhaps the purity, of the early issues. I’d argue he’s largely succeeded, but that’s a topic for another post.
Here be spoilers…