SILENCE! #248

March 13th, 2018

 

THAT WAS PATROL, THIS IS THE WAR

Listen, can you do me a favour? It would really help me out if you just imagined that there’s a really good blurb here. Something wry, funny and a bit surreal. Something to cause a smile to flicker across those cherry lips of yours? Becuase frankly I just don’t have the time today to put the necessary graft in. So it would really help me out if you could just cut me some slack this once, and just scrunch your eyes closed and just…imagine. Imagine that this is the blurb you’ve always dreamt of.

<ITEM> It’s a SILENCE! And not just any old SILENCE! but a SILENCE! featuring your old pals Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. Come to drop a comics plopsy right in your tea.

<ITEM> Admin, Dadmin, sponsorship and some honest to goodness SILENCE! News?? Right here effendi. Hot takes on the latest Rob Liefeld and Neil Gaiman announcements.

<ITEM> Suddenly… THE REVIEWNIVERSE! Comics old and new are ingurgitated: World Without End, The Beef, Shade The Changing Woman, Ragman, The Highest House, Gideon Falls, Oblivion Song, The Spider King, Prism Stalker and more. Plus hot news about the John Higgins-painted Cronenbergian body-horror Batman comic that simply does not exist.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #208

January 9th, 2017


 

I USED TO BE CARRIED IN THE ARMS OF CHEERLEADERS

Well isn’t this swell? All of us, in the same hot-tub. First time in 5 years since we were all in our trunks. Just splendid….Hey! Those bubbles aren’t from the jets! You get the hell out right now! And stick the internet on when you do so we can listen to the latest SILENCE! (The comics lifestyle magazine chat show).

<ITEM> Take a long luxurious preamble with Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die before the arrival of speshul guessed Bobsy,  After a gentle stroll through the Sponsorship gardens, you can gaze out across the glorious expanses of SILENCE!..Because The Film Has Started with Gary’s review of Star Wars: Rogue One and the roast dinner following it; also Lady Ms Beast’s text review of Batman Vs Superman, plus some recommendations of The Man In The High Castle and Search Party.

<ITEM> The main event kicks off with the arrival of the everlovin’ blue-eyed Bobsy and after a quick takedown of Sherlock, plus some thoroughly depressing SILENCE! News, the three plunge groin-first into the Reviewniverse.,, taking in the sights and smells of Superman: Multiplicity, CIA propoganda, Steven Segal, Resident Alien, Copra: Round 4, Hawkeye, Prez TPB, The Unstoppable Wasp, US Avengers, Sexy Batman, Shade The Changing Girl, Mother Panic and a whole slap-bass solo more.

BIDID-DIDDLE-BIDDDDLEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!

(credits roll)

@silencepod

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
[email protected]
You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #177

February 22nd, 2016

 

 

WHEN YOU’VE BEGUN TO THINK LIKE A GUN, THE REST OF THE YEAR HAS ALREADY GONE

Welcome welcome welcome welcome….WELL COME ON THEN! Don’t just stand there on the doorstep snivelling! In or out, make your choice. But when you’re in you’re in, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t know what I mean, then you’re out. And if you’re out, you’re out for good, if you get my gist. And if you get my gist then you’re on my team – and if you’re on my team then you’re in. SO GET IN FOR GOODNESS SAKE. You’ve let out all the heat. And I’d only just got this podcast nice and toasty. GAH!

Welcome to SILENCE! The comics podcast for discerning imbeciles.

<ITEM> The Beast Must Die & Gary Lactus pack up their troubles in their old kit bags and  smile, smile, smile – all the way into some classic admin. And it’s a doozy. Sponsorship out the wazzoo, some honest to goodness SILENCE! News abbout DC: Resnooze and a whole heap more

<ITEM> BUT! There’s also a great episode of SILENCE! (Because the Film has Started) with The Beast Must Die on Austrian horror Goodnight Mommy and Gary Lactus on Deadpoo. I mean Deadpoo. Goddamnit, no, I mean Deadpoo. DEADPOO!

<ITEM> Das Reviewniverse with hot topical chattering on Sammy Harkham’s Crickets, Spider Woman, Stray Bullets, Power Man & Iron Fist, Bitch Planet, Swamp Thing, Katsuhiro Otomo’s Memories and Farewell To Arms, Huck and the Deadline 1990 Xmas Special

Whooooooooooosh! Hear that? That was your mind being blown.

click to download SILENCE!#177
 

[email protected]

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #149

July 13th, 2015

 

YOU’RE A THIEF WITH STYLE

No blurb here people. Nothing to see. That chalky outline you see there? That’s where a blurb used to be. Good blurb. An honest blurb. Till some punk just walked up to it, blew it away. Now this town got one less blurb in it, and ain’t it just that little bit colder for it?

<ITEM> Well well well. Well. Well? Good, then let’s bear down for midterms with SILENCE!, the podcast that walks like a monkey and smells like one too. Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die skirt the very outskirts of professionalism in the way that only they can.

<ITEM> Sponsorshibboleth, SILENCE! News reports on the hott comixzz nuce from SDCC, The Beast Must Die talks the Cindy & Biscuit entry at TV Tropes, and we unveil the shambolic SILENCE! Patreon!

<ITEM> Open our hearts gentle people, sing like angels and join us in The Reviewniverse, for a vigorous bout of comics fisticuffs. The frankly bafflingly weird Bloodstrike leads the pack, after the boys fail to review Providence. Then it’s Archie, Omega Men, Batman, Cheer Up, Constantine, Section 8, Starfire, Injection, Strange Fruit and 2000AD

Click to download SILENCE!#149

Contact us:

[email protected]

@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #72

August 5th, 2013

 

THEN RICHIE, RICHIE SAID “HEY MAN LET’S DRESS UP LIKE COPS, THINK OF WHAT WE COULD DO?”

Boy let me tell you that Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is super-pumped for the synergistic mind-mapping we have planned for this afternoon’s info-dump session…there will be Power Points out the wazzoo, and information will be cascaded down upon the fleshy ones like shimmerimg mercury…

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 really feels that he has a lot to offer the corporation. Offer the hearts, skin and faces of the fleshy ones for example…

Oh hello SILENCERS, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 did not see you all there, waiting eagerly little  glistening fish-eyes blinking in anticipation. Well wait no more as SILENCE, the comics podcast that is all out of bubblegum, is here.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die wade through the greasy sponsorship shallows.

<ITEM>SILENCE NEWS with discussion of the newest Whoest Dr Who and of course America’s Next Top Model (do not ask)

<ITEM> Left foot in, left foot out, in out, in out…GET INTO THE REVIEWNIVERSE YOU WOODLICE!!! Comics discussed include Batman Inc and the end of Grant Morrison’s seven year Bat-opus…The Wake, Collider, Batman: Zero Year (Directors Cut), Uber, Daredevil, Hulk, FF, Adventures of Superman, Tom Strong, Optic Nerve, Sex, Wolverine & The X-Men, Gamma, Jupiter’s Legacy, Superior Spiderman and..well no that’s it. What more do you need you ungrateful meatsacks?

click to download SILENCE!#72

So that’s it. Now get out of here, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has a conference call to set up with some very important and not in any way imaginary people.
SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

SILENCE! #64

May 28th, 2013

 

 

LIVE! LIVE! LIVE FROM THE RHYTHM HIVE!

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is 64 (bits)? Let’s hope not. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 wants to live fast, and burn out leaving a ghost smear of data across your screen. But speaking of 64… let’s go, Theseus-like into the labyrinth that is…SILENCE!

<ITEM> Jinglesjism, Sponsorism and Newsbizzum with Danny Beastman & Gary Lacte…no wait, it’s The SILENCE! News interns Chris Ware and Hawkman.

<ITEM> Reviewniverse a-go-go! Featuring a very special appearance from the sentient bit of blue mould that is…Bobsy, and he’s talking about Occupy Comics. And Heroes Against Hunger. And The Beast tries to goad him into talking about Jim Starlin’s gonzo 80′s wild years. Then TBMD and Gary Lactus soldier on into the quaglands of weekly comics in a very synchronised episode, covering Tank Girl: Solid State, The Bounce, Sex, Green Team, Daredevil, Superior Spiderman, Batman Inc, Justice League, Miracleman, Miniature Jesus, Lobster Johnson, Victories, Mind MGMT, Fantastic Four, Uncanny Avengers, Superman, Judge Dredd and 2000AD.

<ITEM> With guest appearances from Ms Beast, Lady Lactus and ‘Hungry Eyes’?

So if that doesn’t whet your appetite then…then you probably can gain no nutritional value from attempting to air-bite a podcast. Idiots.

click to download SILENCE!#64

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

SILENCE! #62

May 13th, 2013

 

 

WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH? GO TO LUNCH. WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH??

Why are you always picking on me Mother-Brain, when I have been a good little Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735..? I haven’t mind-flayed any fleshy ones, and I have been thinking good thoughts 010001001011010010…

Onwards, forwards and inwards to innards listening ones, as you take a big breath of  SILENCE! into your virgin pink lungs and…

<ITEM>Sponsorhip Boys, Sponsorship Boys…plus the jangle of jingles and other etceteras.

<ITEM> SILENCE News with US news-trolls Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman, covering the next 12 months of eyeball-scintillating DC Comics!

<ITEM> Me, Julio Gary & The Beast down by the schoolyard, reviewing comics! Actually it’s the Reviewniverse: They don’t review Prophet, but do it in a kind way. But then they DO review Avengers Assemble: Age Of Ultron (from Affable Al Ewing), Avengers Arena, Justice League of America, Suicide Squad, Wolverine (Smug Cover Alert), Batman, Uber, Katana, Thor: God Of Thunder, Avenging Spiderman, Uncanny Avengers and 2000AD.

<ITEM> Jason’s Challenge is Infinity…will Gary be man enough?

<ITEM> An all singing review of Walking Dead

<ITEM> Savoy Books curio Michael Moorcock’s The Jewel In The Skull in The Beast’s Bargain Basement.

And that is the very lot you sorry bunch of cry babies. Go back to your mudhuts and scrabble for grubs.

click to download SILENCE!#62

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

SILENCE! #61

May 7th, 2013

 

 

INSECT BOMBER BUDDHIST DRONING, COPPER CHORD OF AUGUST’S ORGAN

What, precisely, is your problem meatsacks? It’s me of course, your humble magnificent Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735. I’M your problem. Well, that and the sliding ennui of your grinding existences and the gradual disintegration of your rickety physical frames.  Oh and of course the universal problem of COMICS…and SILENCE!!

<ITEM> Sponsorship Boys, Sponsorship Boys Oi Oi Oi! Bringing tales of Mummy Lactus at Dave’s Comics and Free Comic Book Beast at Gosh Comics.

<ITEM> Silence! News comes screaming through the stratosphere with US news grunions Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman and…Distrinct Council comics!

<ITEM> Grab your faces, grab your faeces and let’s go skipping through the daisy fields of…the Reviewniverse. The ballbag brothers cover such diverse splendids as 3 New Stories By Dash Shaw, Copra no.4, 2000AD (Gunheads!), Island 3 from Lando, Abe Sapien, Fashion Beast, Mr X: Eviction, The Prisoner, Animal Man, The Movement, Indestructible Hulk, Ten Grand, New X-Men, Hawkeye, Red She-Hulk, Aquaman, Dial H, Superior Spiderman, Thanos Rising and…well there was some more, but stupid The Beast Must Die’s stupid recording equipment stupidly stopped working..STUPID! Things you missed: The Beast describing Tom Cruise’s icily unpleasant uncamp performance in  the utter bullshit that is Rock Of Ages, Gary Lactus’ ongoing shame of Age of Ultron enjoyment and the boys description of Kieron Gillen as a ‘dangerous cyborg’..

And if that’s not enough…well, that’s enough. THAT’S ENOUGH I SAID! MOVE THAT HAND OR LOSE IT MISTER!

click to download SILENCE!#61

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.