SILENCE! #122

November 18th, 2014

 

WHEN THE FIREWORKS HIT YOU IN MOGADISHU, ON A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY NIGHT

It’s the SILENCE! THOUGHT BUBBLE 2014 SPECTACULASM! And you’re all invited. You’re welcome. Plus ones only and ladies in free. Drinks are half price until 9, and you get a free punch in the crackers on the way out.

So join Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die as they lead you on a gentle waltz across the dancefloor of podcastery, before trying to have their way with you in the rose garden. It’s 2+ hours of unbridled hubrisity from the Little and Large of podcasting.

<ITEM> It’s a recording of SILENCE! LIVE from Thought Bubble 2014, with special guests Anal Al Ewing, Sexy Si Spurrier and King Kon Kieron Gillen...plus..could it be? Surely not? Is that Alan Mo…shhhhhh. Also features the Quizzlertron, Telepathy, Blind Date and Magnum PI.

<ITEM> Then it’s time for a post con debrief, as the boyce recount their highlights, lowlights and no-lights. They also talk about their con-haul, so we get Giant Days from John Allison, Thunderbunny, Mindstain comics’ Wanker’s Tan and Grunt 8790, Cindy & Biscuit, Sklent, The Cleaner, Killjoy from Robert Brown, Hitsville UK, Oliver East’s The Homesick Truamts Cumbrian Yarn, Naminfg Monsters by Hannah Eaton, Andy Pearson’s Celph, Haywire, Eclipso, Norm Breyfogle, Alan Grant, Instant Piano and a whole lot more

<ITEM> Gary Races through the rest, but frankly I can’t be bothered to list them. You can bet there’s some comics in there though, boy howdy!

Now. Sing me to sleep. Sing me to sleep, I’m tired and I want to go to bed…

Click to download SILENCE!#122

Contact us:
silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

We found some photos on our phone and can’t remember taking most of them

SILENCE! #121

November 3rd, 2014

PROFESSOR X TAUGHT  ME BEST, HOW TO LEVITATE SP12′s AT RECESS

One day a REAL blurb will come…and wash all the other blurbs away. Until that day, you’re stuck with this. Deal with it or deal yourself out. NO DEAL, BANKER, NO DEAL!!!!
No Bobsy this week, so get yourself used to a classic double-hander from those two double-handers The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus. It’s a slim, trim, fighting fit SILENCE! that looks just super in those leopard skin jeggings that have been shoved to the back of the wardrobe since January. But don’t worry – there’s some extra treaty goodness attached to the end of this, with Mindless Men-At-Arms lord Nuneaton Savage, Brother Yawn, and no less than Pat Mills and Kev O’Neill. So  peel back your earflaps and plug in to around two hours of splendissement.
<ITEM> Just a good old fashioned sponsorshipping news, a bit of Thought Bubblage and some of the old classic legendary bruv-bants just the way you ‘like’ ‘it’.
<ITEM> The boys climb into a patented ACME Giant Catapult and fire themselves deep into the heart of the Reviewniverse. THERE WILL BE TALKING! The following periodicals will be discussed: The Thought Bubble 2014 anthology, Wild’s End, Edge of Spiderverse, Marvel Golden Age Special, Saga, Supreme Blue Rose, the free Halloween Batman: Legends of the Drak Knight special, 2000Ad and The Delinquents.

<ITEM> Bonus extra specialism – following the screening of Future Shock: the Story of 2000AD, the excellent documentary directed by Paul Goodwin (read a cracking interview with him here) at the BFI, Kev O’Neill and Pat Mills discussed the film with Paul and the producers. You can hear that, plus the collective reaction to the film from The Beast, Lord Nuneaton Savage and Brother Yawn. Opinions! They are shared! And check the film out whenever / wherever you can – it’s ace.

Now you go please. Thank you go now please. GO!

Click to download SILENCE!#121

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

SILENCE! #120

October 27th, 2014

SOMEONE’S IN MY FRUIT CELLAR!

 
<INSERT VINCENT PRICE’S SPEECH FROM THRILLER HERE>
It’s that time of the year Dear Listeners, when the goblins, ghoulies, witches, wizards, monsters, vampires, werewolves, wraiths, poltergeists, demons, golems, landsharks, weredragons, living dolls, homunculi, lizardmen, banshees, reanimated corpses, killer robots, giant rats, zombies, and razor-wielding monkeys all troupe down to the pound shop and get themselves dressed up as office-workers. That’s right! It’s HALLLLOOOOOOOWWEEEEENN. And what could be better than a special nearly 3 hours of SILENCE! with your undead (from the waist down) hosts The Beast Must Die, Gary Lactus and the Bobsy from Beyond the Grave!
<ITEM> Some gladminadminsadmin and sponsorshazammery from the boys, with some discussion of The Red Ghost, Goat Rider and anarchic kids comic OINK!
<ITEM> Bobsy arrives just in time to rip open a hole in the skein of timespace and climb into the intestines of the Reviewniverse…there’s some words and they form themselves into sentient opinions about the following: Arkham Manor, The Green Arrow, Flash and Gotham TV Shows, Lisa Bonet, Dothraki, The Just, The 90s, Seven Soldiers, Starlight, GI Joe, Punt & Stick Job, Crystal Ball, Joe Hill, Transformers UK, The Diary Of Nam Frank, Wicked & The Divine, Proust, Pop, Tharg, Stray Bullets, Zero, Wolverine: Logan’s Legacy, Dinner With Lady Deathstrike, She Hulk, Aliens, Predator, Prometheus and Naughty Universe Touching.
<ITEM> But that’s not all! Our Halloween sextacular continues with a ready made TV Terror marathon from the boys (with associated commentary):
10.  Nigel Kneale’s Beasts
9. Threads
8. Shalcker the Painter
7. Twilight Zone “The After Hours”
6. children of Green Knowe
5. Children of the Stones
4. Apaches 
3. Robin Redbreast
2. Tales From The Crypt “Naughty Or Nice
1. Ghostwatch
Guaranteed to scare the pants off your willies and all the way out of your bejeezuses. You’re welcome.

Click to download SILENCE!#120

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

SILENCE! #118

October 13th, 2014

RULE NUMBER ONE, PHASERS ON STUN!

Oh hi there! You caught me with my hand in the pickled onion jar! Welcome back DEAR LISTENERS, to this very special* technical-hitch FREE episode of SILENCE! With a rejuvenated The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus, freshly back from judging the 3rd Annual Electroplegic Bodyshunting Competition. Slipping off their ceremonial robes, the pusillanimous pairsome are hot cocked, and ready to rot! Let’s get podcarousing!

<ITEM> Sponsorshines, Breakdown Press, Thought Bubble…you know the drizzle. And Gary reveals his nefarious plans to sexually entrap all the DEAR LISTENERS!! Who let the dogs in?

<ITEM> Like a perfectly launched stone skipping across a still pond, the two enter the Reviewniverse, a song in their hearts, and their hearts on their sleeves (and their sleeves tucked into their undercrackers). And what a week it’s been. Vivisected this week: Punks, Ed Pinsent, Inkstuds, Rob Liefield, Batgirl, Gotham’s Brooklyn, Gotham Academy, Axis/6xis, Pickled Onions, Sex Criminals, Astro City, Mark Bell RIP, Masterplasty from James Harvey, Courtney Love, Sinestro, and the terrifying Earth 2 weekly challenge!

<ITEM> How could we forget – a guest star studded edition of SILENCE! Because My Mouth Is Full of Delicious Food! The real reason you all came.

Now get out of here before my husband gets home.

Click to download SILENCE!#118

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

SILENCE! #117

October 7th, 2014

FIRST WE’LL DRINK TEA, AND THEN WE’LL FIGHT!

Butch & Sundance, Batman & Robin, Chip ‘n’ Dale, Steptoe & Son..? Fred & Rose? Those are all pairs aren’t they? Okay then that’s done. Can’t think why I was thinking about that.

Anyway, after last week’s spectaculatrix of glam-filled guest star party, it’s the inevitable come down, as the Beast returns from his hollibobs and runs slam bang into the loving arms of Gary Lactus. Well, after some HILARIOUS technical troubles. Just like old times… SILENCE! Just like Mama used to make: Starchy, thin and unsatisfying.

<ITEM> You might be able to make out a bit of celebrity Game of Thrones spotting, and maybe some discussion of Don Henley? In amongst some sponsorshunting of course.

<ITEM> After an abortive first try the boyce make their way into The Reviewniverse, and boy howdy is it just like slipping on yesterday’s undercrackers! Talk of God Hates Asttronauts, Jason Shiga’s Demon, Silver Surfer, The Silence Choir, Mike Allred’s scariness, Walking Dead, Captain America, Fantastic Four Annual Men Of Wrath, and a bunch more stuff. Heck the boys even come up smiling for some Twin Peaks bubbling.

<ITEM> So let’s knuckle down for the crunch, open your aureoles and get SILENCING!

Click to download SILENCE!#117

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

SILENCE #113

September 9th, 2014

 

I SAW AN X-RAY OF A GIRL PASSING GAS

<ITEM> So this is SILENCE! And what have you done?

<ITEM> Sponsorships passing in the night, with added talk of Blue Peter in the 1970s and 80s. It’s Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die doing that thing they do. Doo doo.

<ITEM> Reviewniverse = Saga 22, Grendel Vs The Shadow, God Hates Astronauts, Transformers Vs GI Joe, Original Sin, Superman, Outcast, Bodies, Doop, Batman, She-Hulk, Uber, Wein & Bernie Wrightson Swamp Thing, Superior Foes Of Spiderman and more, oh so much more (well sort of)

<ITEM> There’s a bit of Dr Who chat. You know. For kids.

<ITEM> SILENCE (Because My Mouth Is Full of Delicious Food – it’s the new segment that has the world on it’s knees

Sorry.

worst. shownotes.  ever.

Click to download SILENCE!#113

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #111

August 19th, 2014

 

WELL IF YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT POP STARS HAVE FOR TEA, ASK JOHNNY DEE

Welcome acolytes. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has been to the top of the mountain. Spent much tme amongst the clouds. The silence. Enlightenment followed. Shhh, no noise. Too much noise. Learn to switch off. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 switched offfffffff….

Also downloaded hot new Haiku app. Hot results. Sweetness follows.Reaching quiet.

Listen:

1)

Don’t surrender,
oblivion, boredom,
Must comics.

2)

From fully to manchild
The spandex, the oblivion
To the oblivion. Psteve.

3)

Imaginary the graphic
Beast, poo manchild in irritant
with no Gary to spandex

<ITEM>It’s all here: Sponsorshambles, Gladmin, EXXXtreme stand up, Letter Chat, Number Chat, Gaz Top, Fred Dineage, Helen Bonham-Carter, Olive-theft, Gladiators, Alan Rickman, 1994, Clare Danes, Injury, You’ve Been Framed, Fellini, the onset of time and by thunder a whole lot more time-wasting! Love, sex, intelligence Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die coming on like the Seventh Seal -wait is that right?

<ITEM> Like sneaking into a strangers house, trying on their wedding dress and sitting in a bath in it (D-bot loves ya Morello!), the pair sneak in to the Reviewniverse, talking up Supreme Blue Rose, Batman, artistic injuries, Zero, Starlight, Comicbook Confidential, Alan Moore, Reality Bites, Emily Carroll Through The Woods, GI Robot, then Gary Races Through The Rest: Astro City, Moon Knight, Hulk v Iron Man, All New X-Men, Avengers Undercover, Amazing Spiderman, Original Sin, Walking Dead,

<ITEM> Just enough time for a digression about the return of the Aphex Twin before James Stokoe’s ne favourite regular feature SILENCE!…Because My Mouth Is Full (Of Delicious Food!) with Gourmet Lactus and The Beast Must Dine!

Now clear out pests! Enlightenment has passed. Turns out it was just wind.

Click to download SILENCE!#111

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.

SILENCE! #106

June 24th, 2014

 

I’D LIKE TO THANK MY MOTHER, FOR INVENTING ROCK N’ ROLL

(Extract from Gary’s Diary – a SILENCE! Romance by Aubrey Wilteringfust)

Gary Lactus is a celestial, gigantic and opinionated podcast host from space. His life is going nowhere until he meets The Beast Must Die, a male model-like, hirsute man with a passion for graphique novels.

Gary takes an instant disliking to The Beast and the prestige formatted and fully painted ways he learnt during his years in the internet.

However, when a Dear Listener tries to destroy Gary, The Beast springs to the rescue. Gary begins to notices that The Beast is actually rather half-witted at heart.

But, the pressures of The Beast’s job as a toilet attendant leave him blind to Gary’s affections and Gary takes up comics to try an distract himself.

Finally, when polybag-wrapped audio pan-handler, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 , threatens to come between them, The Beast has to act fast. But will they ever find the SILENCE! love that they deserve?

<ITEM> Admin, admin, who wants admin?? Gary unleashes his and Roberty Boperty’s new superteam  The Gents, featuring Poo-Lord, Slash, HotRod, JizzWizzard, Airblade / Blowhard and The Freshener. THEN the Beast discusses Strontium Dog: The Movie.

<ITEM> Additional Quizzlertron content from listener Tam, so the boys tackle their favourite comic book violence, featuring Zenith, Simon Bisley, Lobo and The Walking Dead

<ITEM> Finally, the duo slip slide into The Reviewniverse and take on Simon Hanselmann’s Life Zone, The Wicked & The Divine, MPH, Original Sin, Batman Eternal, Silver Surfer, Thor: God of Thunder and TMNT: Turtles In Time. Plus Gary looks into the wonders of Marvel AR, the Beast has a rant about Spoiler, and their is a discussion of comic book movies including Turtles, Dick Tracy, Mario Bros, The Shadow and The Phantom.

NO MORE ITEMS. So get back to work you slovenly apes.

Click to download SILENCE!#106

Toodles.
Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #105

June 17th, 2014

 

IT’S NOT FAR, NOT HARD TO REACH, WE CAN HITCH A RIDE TO ROCKAWAY BEACH

In a podcast there lived a ludicrous, well-designed Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 named The Beast Must Die. Not a stupid opinionated, half-baked podcast, filled with comics and an obsessive smell, nor yet a blustering, gigantic, turgid podcast with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735-podcast, and that means entertainment.
One day, after a troubling visit from the space-giant Gary Lactus, The Beast leaves his podcast and sets out in search of three ignorant toilets. A quest undertaken in the company of listeners, sponsors and ugly meatsacks.
In the search for the Quizzlertron-guarded toilets, The Beast Must Die surprises even himself with his bullshittery and skill as a reviewer.
During his travels, The Beast rescues a Graphic Novel, an heirloom belonging to Gary. But when Gary refuses to try shutting up, their friendship is over.
However, Gary is wounded at the Battle of Crisis Of Infinite Podcasts and the two reconcile just before The Beast engages in some serious shutting up.
The Beast accepts one of the three ignorant toilets and returns home to his podcast a very wealthy Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735.
Wait, what?
<ITEM> Sponsorshiz, Potential Father’s Day, the best Dad’s in comics, Dr Doom, Batman, Lonewolf & Cub, The Ben Elton/Neil Gaiman axis of evil and more in the now legendary preambular olympics.
<ITEM> The final session in the Quizzlertron, as the boys finish their 100th episode spectacular on episode 105, because let us not ever forget they are PROFESSIONALS. Mighty Crusaders, Al Ewing, ‘wacky’ podcasts and the real Captain Marvel. Including bonus Lady Lactus content, flatmate Laura and Gary Lactus dropping a deuce live on air!
(You can read Al Ewing’s amazing recommendation here:
http://fourcolorshadows.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-mighty-crusaders-rick-jerry-paul.html)
<ITEM> It’s a fine and fancy trip to the Reviewniverse, with talk of That’s Because You’re A Robot, Revenge, She-Hulk, Ordinary, Brass Sun, Afterlife With Archie, The Wake, Starlight, Infinity Man & The Forever People, Mighty Avengers, Avengers Undercover and more.
<ITEM> What’s this, a movie podcast? No? Then why the hell are Gary & The Beast talking about the Evil Dead remake, Greenberg and The Grand Budapest Hotel?
Fill your boots you lucky, lucky people, and be back next week for more Hob Talk and Bowel Evacuations!

Click to download SILENCE!#105

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

SILENCE! #103

June 2nd, 2014

 

STRUGGLING IN THE VORTEX, WITH MY JACKET MADE OF GORETEX

Today, for you smiling meatsax, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 will consult the great oracle DESREE to find for you the meaning of life. Speak oh great one:

“I don’t want to see a ghost
It’s a sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo”

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 agrees Desree, toast rather than ghost! ALWAYS! Who would want ghost? And Life IS doo doo doo isn’t it? You really nailed it. No more questions! ALL ANSWERED.

Now onto the latest edition of SILENCE! featuring 100% more The Beast Must Die, but with almost 100% less Bobsy. Same Gary Lactus content though. Just right, as Goldilocks said before she nicked all the porridge and those three vegetarian peace loving bears starved to death.

After a cursory admin session, The Beast talks about his upcoming Cindy & Biscuit art installation up in that bloody London. More details follow after the blurb.

[ITEM] The ‘lads’ answer some more listenoid quizzlers in their slackadaisical fashion. Worth the wait? YOU DECIDE! Amongst the answerage: Doop, bad comics by good creators, Grant Morrison’s Spawn, The Family Must Die, planet-shaped dinner, Heralds, Mighty Crusaders, The Secret Origin of Mindless Ones, Frank Miller, Give Me Liberty, Robo-Hunter, humorous comics, Saturday Night Live, 2000AD, The Studio, creating comics, How To Talk To Girls, drawing comics, Sklent, Greatest Stories Ever Told, Tharg’s Future Shocks, Terminus

[ITEM] A quick dip in the shimmering surf of the Reviewniverse with talk of Southern Bastards, Ordinary, Sparta USA, Titan Comics, MPH, Trees, Saga, Mighty Avengers, SILENCE! Shout out, Deadly Class, non-drowsy decongestants, Red Rover Charlie and a bit more too.

But wait…I have thought of another question.. all is not answered…do not forsake me oh Desree…ANSWER ME!!!!

Click to download SILENCE!#104

[AND NOW, A BONUS MESSAGE FROM THE BEAST]

Smiling friends

As some of you may already know, I have an installation at a local cafe in Walthamstow that will be up for the duration of the E17 Art Trail (curated by Brian Harvey – not). Cindy & Biscuit star in a strip produced specifically for the art trail, that incorporates the cafe itself into the narrative.
Here’s a teaser:
We will be holding a private view on Friday 6th June at the Arts & Crusts cafe from 7pm onwards. There’ll be some wine and beer, but bring along your own if you favour more adventurous tipples.
Please come along and join us – Carol and Andrew who run the cafe are lovely, and there are two other installations to view in and around the cafe. You can also experience the sights, smells and atmosphere of exotic Walthamstow.
It  would be lovely to see you there, so please come along, and bring whoever you like. The installation will be up for a month if not, so pop along at some point, have a coffee and enjoy.
The cafe’s website is here: http://artsandcrusts.wordpress.com/
Hope to see you there!
x

 

Click to download SILENCE!#101

Contact us:

silencepodcast@gmail.com
@silencepod
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton.
It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.