SILENCE! #288

January 9th, 2021

BILLY THE KID DID WHAT HE DID AND HE DIED

Boy did you see that? That was something wasn’t it? It sure was something. What do you mean what was it? I have no idea. I just know it was something. Yes sir, it sure was. Something, that is. Couldn’t say for sure exactly what, but let me tell you I know that it was *something*. I know what it wasn’t though. It sure wasn’t a BLURB.

<ITEM> New Year, New SILENCE! New Year, New Podcast! New Year same old sad sacks of mince Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die!

<ITEM> It’s a packed episode, designed to fill the howling voids of uncertainty in your brains. First up SILENCE! Cos I’m Watching The Telly! wherein the Beast talks up the myriad pleasures of the Doom Patrol TV show. Then the pair have a good old natter about Feels Good Man, the strange and depressing descent of Pepe The Frog.

<ITEM> Take a hop, skip, slip and plunge into the Reviewniverse. Happy talky talky happy talk, talk about  things you like to read….The Far Side, Calvin & Hobbes, Midnight Men, Howard Chaykin Bingo, Pirate Corp$, 2000AD Xmas special, Judge Dredd: Book Of The Dead, World Judges and a lot (not much) more

<ITEM> I’m tired. Go away please.

<ITEM> Just kidding, I kiss.

 

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #286

November 11th, 2020

 

BUT DON’T DESPAIR, THIS DAY WILL BE THEIR DAMNEDEST DAY

BARMAN! Hey barman! It’s been a heckuva day all over hasn’t it? Just a HECKUVA day. I’ll be goddamned. My throat is parched. So why don’t you sidle over here and pour me a nice stiff podcast. Straight, no chaser, just make sure it’s got a real high percentage of unqualified opinions. Maybe top it up with juuuust a touch of hot air.  Perfect. Now I’lm gonna knock this down and shake off this goddamned day.

What do you mean, tip?

<ITEM> It’s a brand new day, a bdand new world, a brand new existence! But more than that it’s a brand new SILENCE!  with your hoary old pals Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. Couldn’t you just kiss them on their wet little noses?

<ITEM> Some honest-to-goodness Sponsorship, some chat about the apparent exit of the world’s orangest, angriest baby, and news of our digitable at the virtual ThoughT Bubble 2020 festival…

<ITEM>Reviewniverse time baaaaaybee and it’s packed to the gills with comic shaped treats: The Green Lantern, We Only Find Them When They’re Dead, Excalibur, Happy Hour, Bad Boy, Xerxes, X’ed Out, The Hive, Sugar Skull: Last Look by Charles Burns, Judge Dredd: The Complete Case Files Vol 1 and Dire Fucking Straits

<ITEM> Did we already tell you to BUY OUR SHIT?

ALL ITEMED OUT

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #285

September 29th, 2020

 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO MORE? ALL OF THE RATIONS? SOUND THE ALARM, THERE MUST BE A STOWAWAY!

After you.

No please, I insist after you.

Really dear boy, I absolutely mean it – after you.

Dear me no, don’t be silly, I wouldn’t DREAM of it. AFTER YOU.

TSK, TSK, I SIMPLY WON’T HAVE IT GOOD FELLOW….. AFTER. YOU.

NNNNNNNNNGGGGHHH….PPPPPPOPPYCOCK GOOD SIR…AFTER.   YOU.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Well, if you’re oing to start coming on all hoity-toity… I say. Where’s the door gone?

<ITEM> Comics, baby, just the way the everlovin’ everlastin’ intended. All served up by those worn-out skin-suits Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die in a salty dish of SILENCE!

<ITEM> Some thrilling cat-related updates, then a hotttt new section ‘SILENCE.. I’M LISTENING TO SOMETHING ELSE!‘ with The Beast’s reckymend of the SYFY podcast ‘Behind the Panel’ detailing the history of Vertigo Comics and the general aceness of Karen Berger.

<ITEM>The duplicity of Neil Gaiman, and Warren Ellis doesn’t like Jack Kirby!

<ITEM> Let’s do it. You and me pal. Let’s really do it. Let’s go into the Reviewniverse, pal. You, me and comics, together in a tree. Bill and Ted are Doomed, Aliens: Book One and Dark Horse’s franchise comics in general, Billionaire Island, Deadline #13, Jackpot, kids in baths of lemonade and just a whole hunka rambling love more…

<ITEM> BYE BYE

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #284

September 8th, 2020

 

I’VE BEEN SAVING UP FOR A LIFE LIKE THIS, YOUR GOD IS BOOING YOU OFF STAGE AND YOUR HEROES DON’T RESPECT YOU

SILENCE! Haiku:

Jaded comics fans

We do our duty for you

No need to thank us

<ITEM> Dragging itself into the light like a flea-bitten, depressed lion at a run-down zoo, here’s a new SILENCE! to “brighten” your “days”. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have a nice warm package for you that smells distinctly like comics…

<ITEM> The very loosest notion of sponsorship? I suppose.  There’s a run through of the contents of 2000AD Prog 284. Silence! Because The Film Has Started takes in Snowpiercer and Eurovision. There’s also some chat about the end of the current Hellblazer as well as a eulogy that cannot possibly do justice to the tragedy of Chadwick Boseman’s death.Plus a Great New Competition?

<ITEM> Reviewniverse is calling your name…will you answer it? We did and this is what happened…Doom Patrol Weight of Worlds, Prisoner: Shattered Visage, Doom 2099, Abslom Daak: Dalek Killer and James Stokoe’s Sobek are all discussed.

<ITEM> A bit of a chat about the unremitting awfulness of everything all the time and then home for cocoa and cookies.

 

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #282

July 14th, 2020

 

I’M DONE WITH ADULT MATTERS, I’M DOING THE CATAPULT, I’VE BEEN MEANING TO GET OUT OF HOLLYWOOD

In my day, a blurb were something you could be proud of. These new fangled blurbs? Pfeh! No-one even tries anymore. Time was, a blurb would be the work of a craftsman. Man could spend 20 years learning the blurb trade before he was even allowed to put pen to page. Now? Any chancer can write a blurb – just string a load of nonsense together and then it’s pens down, off to play squash, or drink a Perrier or what have you. Disgusting. My father’s spinning in hos grave every time one of these new blurbs gets written. Poor old dad. What a world.

What a world.

<ITEM> It’s a brand new SILENCE! As regular as clockwork. If that clock is broken and at the botto of a pond. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die coming at you live (not live) and direct (circuitously).

<ITEM>Sponsorship in this brave new hellscape – what does it look like? FIND OUT HERE

<ITEM>Sad news, Thought Bubble 2020 is cancelled, but find out here about all the great comics that Gary and The Beast WOULD have been debuting at the con.

<ITEM> Reviewniverse time, and it’s a big juicy chat about Beautiful Stories For Ugly Children, The Far Side, Captain Victory, Stray Bullets, Piranha Press, Billionaire’s Island, Todd McFarlane’s Spiderman, Tomorrow, Documentary Now and more more more (more).

<ITEM> Who is, what is…The Savage Beast???

 

 

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

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You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #281

June 16th, 2020

 

SHE SAID THE CITY WAS DEAD AND GUTLESS

Watch out, cos here we come. It’s been a while but we’re back in style. So get set, to have some fun. We’ll give you action…and satisfaction. We are SILENCE! coming on stronger than ever before. We are SILENCE! Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Door (Die)

That’ll do won’t it? Come on, be reasonable, you can’t expect more from a blurb at times like these right? Take a look at yourself. When did you last have to write a blurb eh? EH? WELL?

<ITEM>It’s a brand new day, it’s  brand new SILENCE! with those two testy old goats Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die ready to fill your ears up with a hunka hunka burning comics.

<ITEM> Admin, rambling and SILENCE! (Because the Film Has Started) with the Steve Rude documentary and Dream Dangerously, the Neil Gaiman documentary. QUALITY WATCHING

<ITEM>Slip inside the Reviewniverse, step over the slumped prone body of James Stokoe and check out the chit chat about Morbius The Living Vampire no.1, Batman pocket books, Joe Kessler’s Windowpane, Doug Moench’s Spectre, and a bit more plus

<ITEM> RIP Denny O’Neill

ALL OUT OF ITEMS

 

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #274

February 14th, 2020

 

 

AND THEY’RE WONDERING WHY WE CAN’T CONNECT WITH THE RITUAL OF THE TRASHED GUITAR

You can earn money from home! Blurb writers urgently required to fill space at top of podcast post. Competitive rates. No real talent or wit required! Hurry hurry hurry!

<ITEM> S…S…S…SILENCE! (turn and face the strange). Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you another hot shot pod rocket from out of their undercrackers and into your earholes.

<ITEM> Look, there’s probably some rambling nonsense and sponsorship and admin at the start. I can’t remember though. You have a listen and tell me about it in the comments.

<ITEM> The Beast Unboxes his latest treat-bundle for your listening pleasure

<ITEM> Into the glacial embrace of the Reviewniverse with the gasbags gasbagging about House of the Black Spot, Jamie Delano’s Animal Man, Baby by Philippa Rice, Lone Wolf & Cub, The Man Who F#@cked up Time, Chosen: the New Messiah, Eightball #23 (Death Ray) and probably more, maybe less??

<ITEM> I have a hangover. Go away.

 

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #273

January 23rd, 2020

 

 

EVERYBODY INHERIT THE EARTH? WHY NOT?

What was the name of that guy..? You know, that guy with the…with the …you know all the words. That guy. Real talkative type. A regular wordsmith…what was his name? Chatterbox, he was. Flapping those gums all the time. Oh, what was his name?? It’s on the tip of my tongue. Bob? Bill? No….Blair? It was Blair I think. No, that’s not it…

BLURB!! THAT’S IT! BLURB!

Yeah. Hate that guy.

<ITEM> Explode into action! It’s 2020! New SILENCE! New DANGER! Old Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die! Oof.

<ITEM> Bit of chat, bit of admin, bit of Sponsorship – Get down to the GOSH Comics sale which finished on 12th Jan! And a reckymendation for the Gossipmongers podcast.

<ITEM>Into the Reviewniverse with both feet! SPLOSH! Let’s chew the fat about Olympia, Milk & Cheese, Punisher: Soviet, Sandman Mystery Theatre, Pink Lemonade Holiday Grab Bag, Pirate Corp$, The Spectre, Sludge, Destroyer Duck and lot more you sexy sexpots.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus’ Best of The Decade!

<ITEM> SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started! and The Beast watched the recent Hellboy reboot and some of Shazam! Superheroes – they’re the great new fad that the kids can’t stop talking about!

THAT’LL DO PIGS

@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #270

October 4th, 2019

 

 

THE MECHANICS OF LONELY ARE LIKE PARALLEL PARKING

There’s a great blurb here.  You just have to stare at the dot below for a while. Keep staring. Keep staring.  Now blink your eyes quickly. There – you see it?

<ITEM> Look you know what the deal is. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die yackety-schmackety comics blah-di-blah sponsorship yadda yadda kids…SILENCE!

<ITEM>  Somewhere in this bloated podcorpse you will find: God blessing sex, Nugget, Speed walkers, Hitsville, Reviewniverse , Jimmy Olson, Philippa Rice , Sister BFFs, My Cardboard Life , Legends of the Dark Knight, Color Me Badddddd, Steeple, New Mutants, Shadow Strikes , House/Powers of X, Spider-Man , Green Lantern , Inferior 5, Great Snickers Crossover , I, Kunt, Wild and Crazy Guys, Bottomless Lactus and more more more

<ITEM> YOU DO THE MATH!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.