SILENCE! #267

May 24th, 2019

 

I KNOW YOU WANNA HOLD MY HAND, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA LOVE MY BAND

BEEEEEP

Listen, I know you’re there, so pick up the phone. I can wait….Look I know you, I’ve been your agent for 20 years. I know when you’re ignoring me. Listen, they just need this blurb okay? Correction – they needed it yesterday. So just write the damn thing William Shakespeare! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEP

ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE! COME OUT FROM UNDER THE TABLE, GET OUT OF THE BATHTUB, WHATEVER! Just…it’s not that…hard. Just write me a god-damned blurb for this god-damned podcast! It’s not art! It’s not literature! But it pays the god damned bills and keeps the god damned light on. So please. For me. Pick up thy god damned quill, and write! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEEP

I’m coming round. I’m bringing weapons…

<ITEM> HOO HAH! It’s only a ruddy SILENCE! guv! Here to fondle your charlie browns and brighten up your day. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have dug themselves up and are ready to talk comics, comics, comics!

<ITEM> Adminge. Sponsorhitz. And ‘SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started…‘ with The Beast’s review of Ant Man & The Wasp and more importantly In Bed With Chris Needham.

<ITEM> PISSCRIME!

<ITEM> When Wakes The Reviewniverse? RIGHT NOW PUNX! Lotsa chat including Swamp Thing 60, League of Extraordinary Gentelemen: Tempest, Grave Horticulture, Demon by Jason Shiga, Eve Stranger, Immoral Hulk, Immortal Hulk, Hey Listen!, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and The Freshmen Force, Green Lantern, Hellblazer 40 and probably more. Oh and probably Game of Thrones. But more importantly The Shitpipe Chronicles.

<ITEM> NEW FEATURE ALERT. The Beast Unboxes, featuring the thrilling sounds of a man opening packages in the toilet!!

<ITEM> No more, greedy guts!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #265

April 19th, 2019

I’M JUST LIVING IN A LIFE WITHOUT MEANING. I JUST WALK AND WALK AND DO NOTHING

Imagine a blurb, stamping on your comics. Forever.

STOMP! Take that, you chromatic, fully painted, prestige format, limited edition, ashcan piece of sh*t!

Are we having fun yet?

<ITEM> It’s been a while but we’re back in style. well, not really. We’re just back. In a way we’ve sort of slunk in the back and tried to sit down without anyone noticing. SILENCE! What? We’ve always been here.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you our usual mix of incompetence and insouciance – comics opinionating just the way you like it. Admin, Sponsorshiup? Yup! Discussion of Comics Crossovers as euphemisms for Toilet Breaks? Right here baby!

<ITEM> Reviewniverse time! There’s a hefty discussion of Heroes in Crisis (Cry-sis more like amirite??) The Skrulls, Zack Soto’s ‘Secret Voice’, the 1989 Catwoman series, and a bunch more that I can’t remember cos it’s been so long since we recorded. Find out for yourself! Life’s like a box of chocolates apparently.

<ITEM> Some reckymends? yeah probably

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #263

March 15th, 2019

I’VE GOT THIS BIRD’S EYE VIEW AND IT’S IN MY BRAIN

Ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis lectus magna. Et magnis dis parturient montes nascetur ridiculus. Nisl suscipit adipiscing bibendum est ultricies integer. Euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies lacus sed.

(What?)

Id cursus metus aliquam eleifend. Elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Convallis a cras semper auctor.

(WHAT?? How dare you! How dare you accuse me of phoning it in!)

Venenatis tellus in metus vulputate eu. Lacus vel facilisis volutpat est velit egestas.

(LOOK I REALLY RESENT YOU INSINUATING THAT I’M NOT TRYING WITH THIS BLURB! I always give it 100% you swine, and I won’t have my reputation besmirched. What do you mean am I still in bed? What’s that got to do with anything? Are you suggesting that I need to be in the office in my suit in order to write an appropriate blurb? Sorry pal, that’s not how ‘Le Muse’ works. Now shh. I’m composing)

Porta lorem mollis aliquam ut porttitor leo. Felis bibendum ut tristique et egestas quis ipsum suspendisse ultrices…

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are here to turn the world’s frown upside down. Or failing that, turn the world upside down so that frown feels better. It’s only another SILENCE!

<ITEM> Admin, Admin, gertcha Admin! The Beast’s Newport Convention, Tom Oldham & Nat Metcalfe on Book Shambles, Seth Myers, The Movies That Made Me and sponsorschism…it’s all right here baby

<ITEM> Let’s hot foot it into the Reviewniverse, and barring a #classic technical fuck up, the pals talk up Eagle Comic, Punisher 2099, Marshal Law Vs Pinhead, The London Comic Mart, Mr X, Alien Legion: Grimrod, Mike McMahon, Toxic, Armageddon 2001: Justice League Annual, Mark Hollis (RIP), The Green Lantern, The Terrifics, LOEG: The Tempest, Big Guy & Rusty The Boy Robot, and Mr X (slight return)…Phew?

<ITEM> YOU’RE AN ITEM!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.