SILENCE! #281

June 16th, 2020

 

SHE SAID THE CITY WAS DEAD AND GUTLESS

Watch out, cos here we come. It’s been a while but we’re back in style. So get set, to have some fun. We’ll give you action…and satisfaction. We are SILENCE! coming on stronger than ever before. We are SILENCE! Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Door (Die)

That’ll do won’t it? Come on, be reasonable, you can’t expect more from a blurb at times like these right? Take a look at yourself. When did you last have to write a blurb eh? EH? WELL?

<ITEM>It’s a brand new day, it’s  brand new SILENCE! with those two testy old goats Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die ready to fill your ears up with a hunka hunka burning comics.

<ITEM> Admin, rambling and SILENCE! (Because the Film Has Started) with the Steve Rude documentary and Dream Dangerously, the Neil Gaiman documentary. QUALITY WATCHING

<ITEM>Slip inside the Reviewniverse, step over the slumped prone body of James Stokoe and check out the chit chat about Morbius The Living Vampire no.1, Batman pocket books, Joe Kessler’s Windowpane, Doug Moench’s Spectre, and a bit more plus

<ITEM> RIP Denny O’Neill

ALL OUT OF ITEMS

 

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #274

February 14th, 2020

 

 

AND THEY’RE WONDERING WHY WE CAN’T CONNECT WITH THE RITUAL OF THE TRASHED GUITAR

You can earn money from home! Blurb writers urgently required to fill space at top of podcast post. Competitive rates. No real talent or wit required! Hurry hurry hurry!

<ITEM> S…S…S…SILENCE! (turn and face the strange). Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you another hot shot pod rocket from out of their undercrackers and into your earholes.

<ITEM> Look, there’s probably some rambling nonsense and sponsorship and admin at the start. I can’t remember though. You have a listen and tell me about it in the comments.

<ITEM> The Beast Unboxes his latest treat-bundle for your listening pleasure

<ITEM> Into the glacial embrace of the Reviewniverse with the gasbags gasbagging about House of the Black Spot, Jamie Delano’s Animal Man, Baby by Philippa Rice, Lone Wolf & Cub, The Man Who F#@cked up Time, Chosen: the New Messiah, Eightball #23 (Death Ray) and probably more, maybe less??

<ITEM> I have a hangover. Go away.

 

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #273

January 23rd, 2020

 

 

EVERYBODY INHERIT THE EARTH? WHY NOT?

What was the name of that guy..? You know, that guy with the…with the …you know all the words. That guy. Real talkative type. A regular wordsmith…what was his name? Chatterbox, he was. Flapping those gums all the time. Oh, what was his name?? It’s on the tip of my tongue. Bob? Bill? No….Blair? It was Blair I think. No, that’s not it…

BLURB!! THAT’S IT! BLURB!

Yeah. Hate that guy.

<ITEM> Explode into action! It’s 2020! New SILENCE! New DANGER! Old Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die! Oof.

<ITEM> Bit of chat, bit of admin, bit of Sponsorship – Get down to the GOSH Comics sale which finished on 12th Jan! And a reckymendation for the Gossipmongers podcast.

<ITEM>Into the Reviewniverse with both feet! SPLOSH! Let’s chew the fat about Olympia, Milk & Cheese, Punisher: Soviet, Sandman Mystery Theatre, Pink Lemonade Holiday Grab Bag, Pirate Corp$, The Spectre, Sludge, Destroyer Duck and lot more you sexy sexpots.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus’ Best of The Decade!

<ITEM> SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started! and The Beast watched the recent Hellboy reboot and some of Shazam! Superheroes – they’re the great new fad that the kids can’t stop talking about!

THAT’LL DO PIGS

@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #270

October 4th, 2019

 

 

THE MECHANICS OF LONELY ARE LIKE PARALLEL PARKING

There’s a great blurb here.  You just have to stare at the dot below for a while. Keep staring. Keep staring.  Now blink your eyes quickly. There – you see it?

<ITEM> Look you know what the deal is. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die yackety-schmackety comics blah-di-blah sponsorship yadda yadda kids…SILENCE!

<ITEM>  Somewhere in this bloated podcorpse you will find: God blessing sex, Nugget, Speed walkers, Hitsville, Reviewniverse , Jimmy Olson, Philippa Rice , Sister BFFs, My Cardboard Life , Legends of the Dark Knight, Color Me Badddddd, Steeple, New Mutants, Shadow Strikes , House/Powers of X, Spider-Man , Green Lantern , Inferior 5, Great Snickers Crossover , I, Kunt, Wild and Crazy Guys, Bottomless Lactus and more more more

<ITEM> YOU DO THE MATH!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

 

SILENCE! #269

September 5th, 2019

 

 

BACK TO NATURE, THE VOYEUR WILL REALISE THIS IS NOT A SIGHT FOR HIS SORE EYES

I sit here and stare. I wait. It is coming. It will come. It is out there, searching for me. Sniffing the air, turning it’s head towards where I wait. I must be calm. I cannot run, I cannot hide. There is no point. I need it and it needs me. We are meant to be together even if it means our mutual destruction. Nearer. Nearer. I can feel it now. It is … it is here.

THE BLURB IS HERE

<ITEM> PHEW What a scorcher! It’s only time for another SILENCE! and what a shaggy misshapen beastie this is. But pet it and you will see it has a lot of love to give. So settle on the veranda, plug in old Gary Lacytus & The Beast Must Die and let our verbal fingers do their aural massage.

<ITEM> Let’s see. We’ve got Illness, Gary’s Bible Studies, Fraser Geesin’s Amusing Character Videos, Mortimer & Whitehouse Gone Fishing, House of X, LOEG Tempest, Kevin O’Neill…and that’s just the intro! Throw in some Sponsorship and now we’re making gumbo!

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse is calling you. Will you answer? Inside it is The Beast Doesn’t Care About Superheroe Films, Walking Dead, Jack Kirby’s Prisoner, Mark Evanier’s 100 Things I Have Learned About Comics, Editors,  Wild & Crazy Guys, Killer Groove, Marvel Action Avengers, Evan Dorkin, How Did This Get Made, Neighbours and more

<ITEM> There’s a special Beast Unboxing with guest start Gareth Hopkins, talking about Best of 2000AD Monthly, New Teen Titans Drug Awareness, X-Force, The Shadow Strikes, Spectacular Spiderman, Fashion in Action, Later Eraser & Pressbutton, Loner, ABC Warriors, Fantastic Four, Iron Man, Fuff, Days of Hate, Marvel 2 in 1, Crytsar the Crystal Warrior, Comics Forum and Man Thing. 

<ITEM> YOU’RE AN ITEM!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #267

May 24th, 2019

 

I KNOW YOU WANNA HOLD MY HAND, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA LOVE MY BAND

BEEEEEP

Listen, I know you’re there, so pick up the phone. I can wait….Look I know you, I’ve been your agent for 20 years. I know when you’re ignoring me. Listen, they just need this blurb okay? Correction – they needed it yesterday. So just write the damn thing William Shakespeare! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEP

ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE! COME OUT FROM UNDER THE TABLE, GET OUT OF THE BATHTUB, WHATEVER! Just…it’s not that…hard. Just write me a god-damned blurb for this god-damned podcast! It’s not art! It’s not literature! But it pays the god damned bills and keeps the god damned light on. So please. For me. Pick up thy god damned quill, and write! Get back to me.

*CLICK*

BEEEEEEP

I’m coming round. I’m bringing weapons…

<ITEM> HOO HAH! It’s only a ruddy SILENCE! guv! Here to fondle your charlie browns and brighten up your day. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have dug themselves up and are ready to talk comics, comics, comics!

<ITEM> Adminge. Sponsorhitz. And ‘SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started…‘ with The Beast’s review of Ant Man & The Wasp and more importantly In Bed With Chris Needham.

<ITEM> PISSCRIME!

<ITEM> When Wakes The Reviewniverse? RIGHT NOW PUNX! Lotsa chat including Swamp Thing 60, League of Extraordinary Gentelemen: Tempest, Grave Horticulture, Demon by Jason Shiga, Eve Stranger, Immoral Hulk, Immortal Hulk, Hey Listen!, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and The Freshmen Force, Green Lantern, Hellblazer 40 and probably more. Oh and probably Game of Thrones. But more importantly The Shitpipe Chronicles.

<ITEM> NEW FEATURE ALERT. The Beast Unboxes, featuring the thrilling sounds of a man opening packages in the toilet!!

<ITEM> No more, greedy guts!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #265

April 19th, 2019

I’M JUST LIVING IN A LIFE WITHOUT MEANING. I JUST WALK AND WALK AND DO NOTHING

Imagine a blurb, stamping on your comics. Forever.

STOMP! Take that, you chromatic, fully painted, prestige format, limited edition, ashcan piece of sh*t!

Are we having fun yet?

<ITEM> It’s been a while but we’re back in style. well, not really. We’re just back. In a way we’ve sort of slunk in the back and tried to sit down without anyone noticing. SILENCE! What? We’ve always been here.

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you our usual mix of incompetence and insouciance – comics opinionating just the way you like it. Admin, Sponsorshiup? Yup! Discussion of Comics Crossovers as euphemisms for Toilet Breaks? Right here baby!

<ITEM> Reviewniverse time! There’s a hefty discussion of Heroes in Crisis (Cry-sis more like amirite??) The Skrulls, Zack Soto’s ‘Secret Voice’, the 1989 Catwoman series, and a bunch more that I can’t remember cos it’s been so long since we recorded. Find out for yourself! Life’s like a box of chocolates apparently.

<ITEM> Some reckymends? yeah probably

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

 

SILENCE! #263

March 15th, 2019

I’VE GOT THIS BIRD’S EYE VIEW AND IT’S IN MY BRAIN

Ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis lectus magna. Et magnis dis parturient montes nascetur ridiculus. Nisl suscipit adipiscing bibendum est ultricies integer. Euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies lacus sed.

(What?)

Id cursus metus aliquam eleifend. Elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Convallis a cras semper auctor.

(WHAT?? How dare you! How dare you accuse me of phoning it in!)

Venenatis tellus in metus vulputate eu. Lacus vel facilisis volutpat est velit egestas.

(LOOK I REALLY RESENT YOU INSINUATING THAT I’M NOT TRYING WITH THIS BLURB! I always give it 100% you swine, and I won’t have my reputation besmirched. What do you mean am I still in bed? What’s that got to do with anything? Are you suggesting that I need to be in the office in my suit in order to write an appropriate blurb? Sorry pal, that’s not how ‘Le Muse’ works. Now shh. I’m composing)

Porta lorem mollis aliquam ut porttitor leo. Felis bibendum ut tristique et egestas quis ipsum suspendisse ultrices…

<ITEM> Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are here to turn the world’s frown upside down. Or failing that, turn the world upside down so that frown feels better. It’s only another SILENCE!

<ITEM> Admin, Admin, gertcha Admin! The Beast’s Newport Convention, Tom Oldham & Nat Metcalfe on Book Shambles, Seth Myers, The Movies That Made Me and sponsorschism…it’s all right here baby

<ITEM> Let’s hot foot it into the Reviewniverse, and barring a #classic technical fuck up, the pals talk up Eagle Comic, Punisher 2099, Marshal Law Vs Pinhead, The London Comic Mart, Mr X, Alien Legion: Grimrod, Mike McMahon, Toxic, Armageddon 2001: Justice League Annual, Mark Hollis (RIP), The Green Lantern, The Terrifics, LOEG: The Tempest, Big Guy & Rusty The Boy Robot, and Mr X (slight return)…Phew?

<ITEM> YOU’RE AN ITEM!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

[email protected]

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.