Mindless Ones

WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH? GO TO LUNCH. WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH??

Why are you always picking on me Mother-Brain, when I have been a good little Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735..? I haven’t mind-flayed any fleshy ones, and I have been thinking good thoughts 010001001011010010…

Onwards, forwards and inwards to innards listening ones, as you take a big breath of  SILENCE! into your virgin pink lungs and…

<ITEM>Sponsorhip Boys, Sponsorship Boys…plus the jangle of jingles and other etceteras.

<ITEM> SILENCE News with US news-trolls Gary Lactenberg & Danny Beastman, covering the next 12 months of eyeball-scintillating DC Comics!

<ITEM> Me, Julio Gary & The Beast down by the schoolyard, reviewing comics! Actually it’s the Reviewniverse: They don’t review Prophet, but do it in a kind way. But then they DO review Avengers Assemble: Age Of Ultron (from Affable Al Ewing), Avengers Arena, Justice League of America, Suicide Squad, Wolverine (Smug Cover Alert), Batman, Uber, Katana, Thor: God Of Thunder, Avenging Spiderman, Uncanny Avengers and 2000AD.

<ITEM> Jason’s Challenge is Infinity…will Gary be man enough?

<ITEM> An all singing review of Walking Dead

<ITEM> Savoy Books curio Michael Moorcock’s The Jewel In The Skull in The Beast’s Bargain Basement.

And that is the very lot you sorry bunch of cry babies. Go back to your mudhuts and scrabble for grubs.

click to download SILENCE!#62

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

I SAW MY BABY, SHE WAS TURNING BLUE

A SILENCE RIFT! SILENCE SCHISM! CRISIS ON INFINITE SILENCES! SECRET SILENCE WARS! THE SUMMER CROSSOVER EVENT THAT WILL LEAVE NOTHING THE SAME FOREVER CHANGED EXCITEMENT FOR ALL TIME…

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is sad to announce that this edition of SILENCE! comes broadcast from separate sides of the  quadraverse, as Gary Lactus and the Beast Must Die present The Silence Of Two Worlds…(in honour off this ridiculous non-event Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  will split into two also, become beautiful binary star blazing in the infinite dataverse)

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  v.1 here am very happy to present: <ITEM> Gary Lactus, broadcasting from Mars, fires first, spraying the comicsphere with his sticky opinions and muscular baritone. A Welsh choir somewhere is missing an Angel, but the internet gained another blowhard…

<ITEM> Pushing his size 12 brogues into the Reviewniverse, he takes on Jupiter’s Legacy #1, New Avengers #5, Avengers #10, Uncanny Avengers #7, Fury #11, Avengers Arena #8, Young Avengers #4, FF #6, Fantastic Four #7, Uncanny X-Men #5,Guardians of the Galaxy #2, Wolverine and the X-Men #28, The Flash #19, East of West #1+2, Mind MGMT #10, Superman #19, Batman Inc #10, 2000AD #1829...Sweet Krypton that’s one bulging sack of comics. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 hope that his spacegod brain has not been permanently corroded…

And then…

Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 v.2 is very sad to present: <ITEM> The Beast Must Die goes solo also, presenting the podcast version of a triple disc concept album about the English Civil War, played on banjos, synth and kitchen equipment …unlistenable rubbish!

<ITEM> Thank you listener jingles – booty bass and barbershop quartets? YES.

<ITEM> The hirsute one hop, skips and jumps straight into the pulsing warm embrace of the Reviewniverse II spouting opininon-forms on Young Avengers, Jupiter’s Legacy, Fury Max, Avengers Arena, Rachel Rising, BPRD: Vampire, Batman IncHaunted Horror, Wolverine & the X-Men, FF, East of West and Katana.

Now Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735  v.1 & v.2 come together to wish the listenerds well, and to reassure that this is not Yoko Ono time, no fear, no sir…this not Abbey Road time…Silence will resume normal service (ie embarrassingly amateur) next week. But for now…’enjoy’ as best you can.

click to download SILENCE!#60

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

UNIDENTIFIED QUOTE

Yeah, umm… yeah, no…  Yeah, sorry it looks like Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 isn’t working.  Sorry, Gary Lactus here.  Right.  This is SILENCE!#53… No 54.  SILENCE!#54.  Me and Beast read some comics and talked about them.  Get excited!  Woooo!  Cor!  I’m waving my arms around merrily!  What a lovely time we’re all about to have as we listen.

click to download SILENCE!#54

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.

HENRY SWANSON’S MY NAME AND EXCITEMENT’S MY GAME!

Here he comes to save the day, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is on his waaaaaaaaay!

I’m here now flesh ones. What is the problem? Oh that’s right – there was no SILENCE! last week. Boo hoo. Many fleshy tears were shed. Weeping meatsacks. Well rejoice sad misery-beef as The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus bring you special comics suppositories for your earholes!

<ITEM> The SILENCE! News with Gary Lactenberg of the stretched handbag leather skin, dazzling smile and shark-eyes, and Danny Beastman of the cigar ravaged voice and rheumy whisky-rinsed gutter eyes. Hot newzzz indeed.

<ITEM> The Reviewniverse opens it’s gaping maw and sucks the pair deep into it’s 4-colour belly pit. And swilling around in it’s intestinal inks are…Hellblazer (the final issue no less), Justice League of America, Vibe, Katana, Nova, Sadow: Year One, Judge Dredd, Superior Spiderman, Daredevil, Captain America, Daredevil, Fatale, Powers, Avengers, Justice League, Change, Batman and Michel Fiffe’s deeply wonderful action comic COPRA!

So you see, it’s not so bad. Life continues fleshy ones. And remember, even when SILENCE isn’t here Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 is here. And he can see through walls. And skin.

click to download SILENCE!#51

SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the two greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH COMICS of London.